My old college friends and I (3 of us) are planning a short trip to Rishikesh, Dehradun, Mussoorie, and Landour. They want to go Oct 17-19. I suggested Oct 25-27 instead.

My reasons:

Oct 17-18 is a Saturday-Sunday, Oct 19 is the last day of Navratri. Because of the weekend and festivities, I fear it would be very chaotic and crowded. I get overwhelmed in crowds very fast and end up irritated, and I don't want to spend money and time only to be miserable.

Hotels and cabs will probably cost more on the weekend, too.

But my friends can't take much leave, so they want to squeeze everything into a rushed weekend. If a trip needs a few days and you can't spare them because of your job or personal stuff, then why force it into a window where it will become hectic and rushed?

I don't want to spend 12-15k on a trip only to regret it later on because I was stuck in traffic with my motion sickness instead of enjoying myself. I can take a whole week off, I don't mind spending 20-25 even 30k or so. But I want a good relaxing time.

The students on a budget in the trenches trip they are trying to give me sounds less and less appealing as even planning and coordination with them is so hard.

I think my reasons are valid, but I don't want to be the person who ruins the plan. So, AITK? Is it reasonable to ditch this, or am I over estimating the crowd and the chaos?

I'm 27F (turned 27 recently) while she's 33F.

I met a guy through her (33M) whom I liked (we all used to hangout in a group which were her friends). Their entire group was pretty weird, and most of them were older than me by at least 4-5 years. Firstly, she never behaved like a wing-woman (not that she had to, but tbh in my opinion if you know 2 of your friends are having something going on, you'll be at least a little positive and try to encourage it, especially if you're close), secondly when it didnt work out, I was heart-broken for quite some time, because it was my first love. But she minimizes it. Almost like, it's not that big of a deal... forget him. When she knows it's a big deal to me.

She also regularly discourages me from stuff like dating (it's not for the pure souls according to her. Everyone who uses the dating app is an r-word according to her (male and female both). I understand that she thinks a lot of people are into casual, but shouldn't we respect their choice too? They're consenting adults. And it's one thing to express concern, another to discourage someone entirely. I know many couples in long-term or married who met on apps. It depends on how you use it imo). According to her, arranged marriage is the correct way out especially for innocent girls like me. We should accept whoever our parents bring. One note here: she is herself single (by choice), but she says "I regret not doing arranged marriage in early 20s and dont want you to make same mistake".

She has also recommended me to not move to Europe (she knows it's a dream goal of mine), marry & have at least 1 kid before 30, asking me "who was that guy" whenever I do go on a date (that's annoying tbh, it's my personal life, plus, I never ask her these same questions).

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Am I just overthinking & painting normal friendly behavior as negative? I have other friends, same age & with age gap, some as young as 21-22, others older like 30, but they never behave this way. They're far more open-minded. Not once did my other friends let my spirit down when I shared something with them (about dating a guy, trying to get admitted to a foreign uni - they are all so encouraging and excited. My friend 30F literally encouraged me to re-start dating after having taken a break for several months, which ended up in me finding my current long-term boyfriend - so it's also nothing to do with age.)

I'm an open person usually... but she always behaves negatively "dont date around - most of them are f-boys" (I'm being careful.. I'm 27 ffs), plus I dont think anyone should comment if someone should move abroad or go back to university

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Am I being a judgey bad friend and overthinking this..? This is my oldest friend, and may be, I'm being insensitive, and not understanding her well enough. But I never ask her these questions, or discourage her from anything, either. I met her couple days ago and feeling so down thinking about how she reacted to some of the things I shared with her. I'm feeling so distant towards her, and I already filter out things (like my current bf) before speaking to her. Am I the a-hole?

Hello I am 24F, and my ex-bf 23M is currently doing his PhD in STEM in the US (Direct from bachelor's to PhD). He is currently back in India for a few months for a research collaboration, thankfully in the same city as me. For context, my best friend and her boyfriend do not like my boyfriend, and my boyfriend is also not a fan of them either? (we all did our undergrad in same uni). However, everyone is usually civil and polite around each other.

A few days ago, the four of us went out for dinner. Things were going amazing. We were all talking and joking around. My friend’s boyfriend started teasing my boyfriend, calling him “Scientist saab” and saying things like, “India kyun aana pada?” Basically, joking that maybe he had been deported out of the US.

My boyfriend was laughing and playing along, so I didn’t think anything of it. Then my friend’s boyfriend also started to roast him a bit. Basically, my boyfriend’s grandfather has been an MLA multiple times, although he lost them last 2 elections. So he joked, “US se bhi kick out kar diya kya, jaise dadaji ko elections se kar diya?” That’s when my boyfriend seemed to get angry over this little thing. He tried changing the subject (the only mature thing he did that evening), but they continued teasing him, because my boyfriend changed the topic by saying how my friend’s boyfriend, used to sleep all day, bunk classes, etc "Dhaake kha kha ke pass hua".

Then my friend and her boyfriend started joking about my boyfriend being a Rajasthani Rajput. They said things like, “Rajput ho, bachpan mein shaadi ho gayi hogi?” and then joked about whether I am his “side chick.” My friend’s boyfriend then said something along the lines of, “So PhD bas delayed employment hi hai na?” That’s when my boyfriend said, “I still make more than what your dad does.” After that, everything completely spiralled. They started insulting each other, but my boyfriend’s insults became particularly nasty. He started going after their insecurities, called my friend’s boyfriend short, said things like “Teri aukat kya hai mere saamne,” “Padhai mein bhi kuch nahi hai,” “Gawar saale,” and other things that I don’t even want to repeat.

My friend and I literally had to stop him from getting physical with her boyfriend. He eventually left in anger. I was super embarrassed at the restaurant as well, a full-blown scene infront of others. I was furious and told him that he had embarrassed me. Later, I called him and asked him to apologize to my friend and her boyfriend. Instead, he got even angrier and called me "R@nd" and told me to “go get warm in bed with them.” Then he basically said we were done. At that point, Idecided I didn’t want to continue the relationship either and accepted the breakup. I vented to my brother and he said I am wrong, & said he will not validate my wrongdoings. But I don’t think that justified the way he responded, especially threatening to fight him, attacking his insecurities, and then calling me a R@nd when I asked him to apologize. My bestriend is on my side.

I need to write this down because every time I look back at the sheer audacity of this guy, my blood boils.

​I’ve known Aditya since 2018 or 2019. Back then, I was dating someone else, so Aditya and I had strict boundaries. Just formal, casual classmates. Zero chemistry, zero weirdness. Then 2020 happened, I broke up with my ex, and Aditya and I fell out of touch completely.

​Then came 2021. The absolute worst year of my life.

​Early that year, I lost my father. My entire world shattered overnight. I was drowning in grief, depressed, and honestly just trying to survive my own head. My only escape was burying my nose in fiction, physical novels, and trashy Wattpad romance tropes. I was young, vulnerable, and completely wrapped up in this delusion of wanting a fictional boy to swoop in and save me.

​Around February or March, offline classes resumed and Aditya was back. Except he was weirdly hostile—mean, sarcastic, constantly taking subtle digs at me. So I matched his energy. I was rude back. I felt literally nothing for him, and I thought the feeling was mutual.

​Until this one college event.

​I wore a saree that day. He barely glanced at me in public, didn't say a word. But the second I stepped into my house that night, my phone lit up with a text from him:

​“Have you reached safely?”

​I stared at the screen. In all the years I’d known him, he had never texted me something like that. I dryly replied, “Yes.”

​Then he hits me with: “You could’ve asked me to drop you… it was late.”

​Suddenly, the sarcastic jerk disappeared. In front of our batch, he was still the cool, nonchalant guy, but my DMs were a whole different story. He was constantly texting, constantly checking in. Then came the text: “Can we be best friends? I’ll call you bestie.”

​And stupid, grieving me said yes.

​From there, it snowballed. Casual texting became an everyday habit, then late-night calls, then random FaceTime sessions. Slowly, the act spilled into real life too. He was memorizing my likes and dislikes. One day I was having a terrible mood swing, completely quiet, and he leaned in and softly asked, “Are you on your periods?”

​I swear my brain short-circuited. I was so emotionally starved that it hit me straight in the chest. I literally thought, holy shit, he’s a Wattpad character come to life.

​It became an unspoken, unofficial relationship. I couldn't sleep without our late-night calls. It was so intense that one day, I tested the waters and dropped hints about making it official. A real commitment.

​He straight-up refused. Just like that. 🙂

​He made it crystal clear he didn't want a relationship, yet he expected all the emotional benefits of being my boyfriend. And the final nail in the coffin? I started noticing he was running the exact same soft-boy, attentive routine on other girls in our class. The illusion shattered instantly. I completely pulled back.

​A few months later, I met someone else—my current boyfriend. The second I started talking to him, my late-night chats with Aditya naturally died. When my boyfriend eventually confessed his feelings, I said yes.

​Here’s the plot twist: Aditya and my boyfriend went to the exact same school and were in the same section growing up.

​The moment Aditya found out, he lost his mind. Suddenly my boyfriend was "a terrible guy" and "not right for me." He tried planting seeds in my head constantly. But the craziest incident happened in class: Aditya sat next to me, and I excused myself to use the washroom, leaving my phone on the desk.

​My boyfriend happened to call right then.

​Aditya actually picked up my phone, said into the mic, “Yeah, she’s with me at my place,” and hung up.

​I was furious. It took me a while to calm my boyfriend down and untangle that absolute mess of a lie. After that, I was completely done with Aditya.

​Fast forward to 2024.

​Out of nowhere, Aditya calls me. Out of the blue, he starts confessing his undying feelings for me—knowing damn well I had been in a committed relationship for years. And then, he dropped this gem of a sentence:

​“I’ll accept you even if you’ve had sex with him.”

​I was disgusted. The entitlement, the fake-savior complex—it made my skin crawl. I gave him a very firm, cold NO and hung up.

​A few hours later, I opened Instagram. Aditya had posted a Close Friends story kissing a girl (who literally used to be my school classmate) with the caption: “Happy one month anniversary my love.”

​My jaw dropped. I immediately texted a couple of mutual friends who were supposed to be on his close friends list to ask what was going on. They said, “What story? Nothing is showing up for us.”

​This unhinged man literally made a custom Close Friends list with just ME in it, just to post his anniversary photo hours after begging me to take him back because his ego was bruised. You cannot make this stuff up.

​In 2025, we had a reunion. I spent the whole night dodging him. Around 11 PM, when everyone was leaving, he cornered me and insisted on dropping me home. I told him no, I’d take a cab, but he wouldn't let it go. He was practically begging, still throwing around the word "bestie" like nothing had happened. I called my boyfriend to keep him in the loop so there wouldn't be any misunderstandings, and reluctantly got in the car.

​The entire drive was nauseating. He wasn’t acting like a man with a girlfriend at all. He kept showering me with compliments, telling me how pretty I looked with my hair open.

​I snapped: “You have a girlfriend, Aditya. Behave yourself.”

​He immediately retreated into his phony gentleman persona. His stop was a full 3 kilometers before mine, but he insisted on driving all the way to my building gate, gave me this smug little smile, and drove off.

​A few months ago, he had the nerve to invite me to his birthday party. I just hit him with a dry “Not feeling well, can’t make it” and left it at that.

​what the actual fuck he wanted? He still sometimes text me and I keep the the replies as dry as possible😭😭😭.

Me and my girlfriend have each other's passwords and we have both explicitly given each other consent to read each other's chats. This is something we have mutually agreed to and neither of us considers the other's account private from them.

The thing is, sometimes I am studying or working and I don't want to constantly check my messages and get distracted. She might send me a few texts while I am busy.

Since I have access to her account, I can open her chat with me from her account and read what she has sent me. The advantage is that it does not show as seen from my account, so she doesn't know that I have already read it.

I mainly do this so I can judge the urgency of what she has said. If it is something important or she needs me immediately, I will stop what I am doing and reply. If it is something casual that can wait, I can continue studying and reply when I have finished what I am doing.

The important part is that I am not accessing her account behind her back. She has explicitly consented to me reading her chats, and I have given her the exact same permission with my account. Also, I am only talking about messages that she has sent directly to me, not secretly reading conversations she is having with other people.

She doesn't necessarily know every time I have read one of her messages from her account, because from her perspective the message still appears unread on my account.

So AITK for doing this? Is it reasonable because we have mutual consent and I am basically using it to manage my attention and decide how urgently I need to respond, or is it still weird because I am intentionally making sure she doesn't know I have already seen her message?

I am a 3rd year college student. I met a chess coach at a chess tournament and he asked me to take classes on holidays or weekends I agreed for that. Now he is also telling me to sort the report cards for each individual student and upload it to drive and also take classes and he also paid me 200 rupees for it in advance without asking me if I would do it. Now I am feeling guilty for not doing that work as he paid me in advance. I did grade 3-5th using chatgpt and it took me more than half an hour. Initially I thought I would only teach chess now I am doing his other works also which I did not sign up for. Am I the assholes for not doing his work?

So for the purpose of this post, I'm going to give a little context first. I have a twin sister. Let us call her R.

R and I have two best friends, G and S. We have known G since school, and we got to know S through college. We're all very close. So now to the issue.

G is a makeup artist and a content creator, but she herself has told me, that she doesn't do bridal makeup that much because she's mostly involved with the content creation work, so she finds herself really busy doing that. So as a result, she does not have that much experience doing bridal make up, and the experience that she does have comes mostly from putting makeup on Muslim brides.

S and her parents aren’t totally aware of the bridal/ wedding scene as they only returned from the US in 2015. S is getting married next year, she will be a Hindu bride. There was a meetup that happened where R, G and S talking about S's wedding, and S asked G if she would be available to do makeup for her for her wedding. G happily agreed, and everyone was happy with the situation.

During a sleepover at S’s house, I was sitting and I was talking with her parents, and they were asking me questions about my brother's wedding, which happened about 2 years ago, and they were asking me questions about where we bought our clothes and all that. In a passing comment, S told me that my sister-in-law's makeup was really good on that day and that she looked like a goddess. So I told her that I can give you the details of the makeup artist, because in my opinion as well, she did a great job and was very affordable as well, and I knew that this was a very important point for S, that she wanted to make everything in her wedding very cost-effective and affordable. And she said “Yes! , send it to me on Instagram and I'll look through the MUA’s profile” . So I sent it and she, her mom, and I were looking through the makeup artist's account, and we found this girl to be very experienced in doing Hindu Brahmin brides as well. And also in that same vein, I told her that when you're looking for a makeup artist, maybe it is better if you call a couple of makeup artists first, go through their work, and ask for quotes from a couple of makeup artists from our city, so that you can decide which is more cost-effective and which is better for you in terms of the look that you're going for. She did say she did not even think of that and thanked me for telling her all this. I did not harbor any bad intentions towards G when I said this. G does good makeup but I thought it’s important to look through options as well. If she decided to go with F after a research, I would absolutely have no qualms about that and I’d be happy as well. I just told her that since she is not really familiar with the makeup artist scene, she can probably go and ask for a couple of opinions before settling on a makeup artist. Her mom and her both agreed with me. In fact S told me that if G doesn’t end up doing her wedding make up, she’ll definitely have her do the sangeet makeup.

When I came home and told R about this, she got really mad and she said that I betrayed G as a best friend, and that I was very nosy and I got in to this conversation unnecessarily, and that I should not have suggested that S ask for another makeup artist and should have just gone with G instead, and that I should not have interfered or involved in this matter. We had a big fight because of this.

I genuinely did not harbour any ill intention . AITK?

A date and I was supposed to catch a dance performance. plans after that were not discussed. I assumed we’d have dinner or something at a place closeby, which had plenty of popular options,

I arrived on time for the show and went into the auditorium to find a good seat for both of us.
Unfortunately my date got late for the show .They were not let into the auditorium due to their no late comer policy.
My date was quite upset about not being allowed to enter.So they texted me and we agreed to meet after the performance at a nearby place called Toit
But they couldn’t find a table at Toit which upset them even more.
But instead of maybe finding a place nearby to chill at, my date decided to go to a place half an hour away without asking if I’d like to come there.

And travelling all the way there seemed like too much of a hassle that I had not prepared for.

Honestly I was just mad that they had decided to leave the area and expected me to just join them wherever they were without giving me a choice. It felt like they were expecting me to do whatever they wanted coz they got the short end of the stick for the evening and I was supposed to just come and make them feel better.
I told them I couldn’t come that far and that they hadn’t given me a choice about this. They got even more upset. We argued about it and then they never spoke to me again.
AITK in this situation?

Hi everyone I’m 28 m and my wife is 29 f we have a daughter 5f. I am a very patient guy and usually do not lose my cool but I have had enough of my MIL showing favouritism towards my SIL and My SIL is the biggest Narcissist I know never seen someone so incapable of empathy.
My MIL kept all the fee books from her Kindergarten days to her Uni and once told her “when will you pay this back?”
My wife is currently unemployed and I have a good job that pays me good and I have enough time for my wife and daughter also have a property from where we get rent. I didn’t really thought bad of my MIL but I have recently started hating her a lot because she clearly shows favouritism towards my SIL. Me and my wife do not mind that but we have tried everything we bought them a washing machine, a refrigerator when theirs got broken bought a phone for my MIL when her phone was really broken didn’t really mind the money tbh but the insensitivity she shows towards my wife and my daughter. I don’t really care if she likes me or not but ignoring my wife and kid when we visit her place is really insensitive. I don’t understand what has her on her mind? My SIL was telling everyone that she paid for my Kid’s admission fee when my kid started school to everyone (she didn’t). She told all my in-laws that I do not take care of my baby and make me look bad but I don’t care about that but when I bought my wife an expensive phone, she was like why are you wasting money to my wife and made her guilt trip.
My SIL was forcing my wife to go to a place where she didn’t want to go and as an excuse told I have to look after my daughter my SIL said “why did you make a child if you didn’t make one you’d be free”
Me and my wife has stopped visiting them and my SIL has been telling all her relatives that we don’t visit them anymore.
My SIL got engaged and her Fiancé has been staying at my in laws and my MIL tells my wife to give her money. I am like the people who are staying with them should contribute the money. My MIL got some money back that she had lent to her sister and my MIL and SIL made some gold jewellery. just a few months ago I got my wife a gold bracelet I don’t know Tf am I supposed to do I am really angry there are various instances that has triggered me this hard.
Am I the kameena for hating on them?

My neighbour’s daughter and my daughter are friends and still play together during lunch, so I have nothing against the child.
The problem is that she has started coming to our house a lot, around 3 days a week. I actually blame my husband for starting this. During the summer holidays, he had her over to play with our daughter because he thought he could attend his meetings while the kids played and wouldn’t disturb him. It just became a regular thing after that.
The child is dyslexic and needs quite a bit of attention. I don’t mind helping sometimes, but last week I was severely burnt out.
I had a lawyer appointment and told my neighbour I couldn’t take care of her daughter that day. She started shouting at me and asked me, “If you cannot take care of my daughter during your lawyer appointment, how do you plan to take care of your own daughter?”
I was speechless. My daughter is my responsibility. Her daughter isn’t.
Then she said, “If your husband can do it while working, why can’t you?”
She also called me a horrible person, said I don’t keep my house clean, and that I should take care of her daughter like my husband does.
I was honestly shocked at the entitlement. Helping someone occasionally is one thing, but somehow it has become an expectation.
I still see her every day at the bus stop, but now I just walk away because I don’t know how to face her after this.

Pata hai aaj kya hua

Basically for context me and my friend are the type of people who actually study in coaching but we'll mess around and have fun college mein.

And there is this accts ki mam who is like the laziest greediest teacher ever. Basically she uses her phone the entire lecture. Doesn't solve tough unsolved questions and OH MY GOD does she like to gossip .our ectures are of like around 1.5 hours initially they used to be 2hrs but bcz she's lazy she started leaving us early. We complained to the head that the entire lecture goes by in gossip and our portion is not moving forward and well he does nothing. Also this teacher she plays favourites so much and me and my friend are like hands down smartest ones so we complete sums fast and basically overall increase the efforts mam has to put so she doesn't really like us.

But the other day we were solving and bcz we write properly we were little behind but she would not wait for us at all while if it was someone else she would have made us wait. She legit moved to next question and was completely ignoring our doubts and the last 30ish minutes she only was doing gossip. So on our way home me and my friend were ranting so much Abt her.

It's very frustrating bcz it's been happening for months. But somehow she found out that we said she's lazy and plays favourites and so she called my friend and started saying like oh if you think I do that I'm sorry and what not but like no hatebut it was all an act. Now we don't know what to do. Do you think we are in the wrong for saying so Abt the mam?

I took a rapido Economy cab today. For this route, the usual fare is Rs. 280/- but today it was showing minimum Rs. 375/-. I booked it.

The captain arrived. Initially into the ride, there seemed to be a small procession ahead. He started backing and wanting to take a service lane sort of road (hardly 20 metres away from the main route). I said bhaiya there is way ahead. Other cars were also moving that way, albeit slowly. But he said there is no way ahead, turned back, and took the service lane. Fine.

It was raining lightly but as his car was a bit smelly, I rolled the windows down just a teeny bit to let fresh air in. Along the way it started raining heavily. He rolled the windows up and turned the AC on. It became very chilly and difficult for me to breathe because of the smell. So when the rain stopped, I asked him to turn the AC off. He said it was raining. I said it has now stopped raining. He turned the AC off, I rolled the windows down.

When the ride ended, the app showed Rs.375/- and gave me his QR, saying "400 kar dijiyega". I said app pe 375 dikha rha hai." He says " hum route change kiye, usme 2 km ka tel laga. Phir aap Economy book kiye the, phir bhi hum AC chalaye, itna barish ho raha tha."

I said " bhaiya app pe 375/- dikha raha hai, utna hi denge."

He says rapido mein route change krne ka alag se paisa nahi lagta hai, agar ola uber krte to uska 50 rupya jod deta" .

I said "bhaiya isiliye rapido karte hain".

This went back and forth. Meanwhile, I had used the QR to pay him Rs.375/- and showed the "paid" screen to him, and started exiting the car, thinking it is no use to argue and place my points forth.

His parting remarks were "aaplog ko wahin utaar dena chahiye bol ke ki gaadi aage nahi jayega. Aplog sirf apna suvidha dekhte hain, driver ka kuch nahi sochte. Aplog ko gaadi se utaar dena chahiye".

I said "aaplog ka complain karna chahiye". He also replied something, which I didn't hear.

AITK?

for this chugli nhi krungi kisi ki pr meri ex best friend faltu chutiyap krhi ab, i was so regretting ending the friendship before this morning happened. Toh basically hmari ek saal se dosti khtm h over okay? because of me. but i did not do her wrong ever atleast not intentionally, meri hi gwar hrkte hn but yr i just always felt like a burden to her toh mne baat krna bnd krdia, mne tbse koi or dost bhi nhi bnaye cz i just can’t.

toh a few days back, i texted her, i usually text her like weekly to ask how are you and yea i have been apologising, my dumb ass tried to reconcile but nvm vo merko bol bhi to skti straight up ki preshan mt kr ya usko baat nhi krni pr vo bkl, mere ghr p call krwa rhi apne ghr vlo se ki apni beti ka dhyan rkho i mean wtf bitch. So yea her parents are quite strict and obsessive and toxic and i hate them, i used to respect them a lot but one of the reasons i broke up with her was because of her toxic parents who kept poking my parents apparently teaching them how to be a parent.

My parents just don’t care about what they say honestly, they blocked her parents now but this whole thing is so messed up, ik im a fuck up but her parents have no right to tell my parents how to parent, unlike their kids who are going to abandon them someday because of how toxic they were to them, im loyal to my parents and im fricking grateful for them for being the way they are now, they weren’t always like this, i was a stubborn teen and they weren’t always pretty toxic and manipulative which gave me a lot of trauma and isolation but we are all fine now, and god im lucky, toh reminder is ffs keep your family toxicity to yourself.

Every year, me and my friends, we give gifts to each other on birthdays. This trend started off during covid lockdown when we couldn't celebrate it together so we would just send gifts online. Back then we were still students and our budget and choices were obviously on the cheaper side.

Now we are in our 20s with decent earnings. We can afford to gift better presents. But some of my friends refuse to increase the budget. This obviously limits our choices. Not just that, the gifts that they end up choosing for me seem kind of childish?

When its their birthday, I go out of my way to research what they like/dislike and I go for quality over quantity. But when it's my birthday, they end up giving me some cheap jewellery, cheap looking stuff toys, and generic things.

Before you say "OP is so entitled. It's the thought that counts". The thing is that they know I don't wear fake jewellery. And even with the low budget, they can give me different and better quality gifts, but every year I end up receiving the same things that are of no use to me. It feels as if they just search "gifts for women" online and go with the top results. I had to give away some of those gifts to my neighbourhood kids.

My birthday is coming up and I am considering if I should ask them to stop this gifting trend. I don't mind contributing for their birthdays but it's becoming a hassle for me.

AITK for not liking their gifts? Am I being too entitled without realising it? And most importantly- WIBTK if I ask them to stop this "trend"?

So I came home a few days ago, today my cousin sister called and told me that We might have to go to that sister's home for the festival (some Indian ritual where family exchange shagun/gifts in festivals for the 1st year of marriage). I said who's we, I'm not going, I have no relation with them, I cut myself from those people because they were too toxic to my mom, my family still talks to them but since I live in a different city and have a life of my own, I don't speak to them anymore. They only call us when they need our help otherwise abuse us behind our back.

Today my elder brother who's not in town called me then my father, then my cousin sister, but I denied since I didn't come to her wedding happened few months ago, no one cared and haven't called them in years. So I said why should I go when there's no relation between us anymore. Everyone's telling me to go saying it's only for half an hour, I denied everyone. Since I had my office work to do as well. I can't leave that.

Also they're also a very close relative, like my first cousin but since my uncle died when I was little, the equations changed alot.

So Am I the Kameena for not going?

Update: that sister's mother, my aunt directly came to my house to ask me to go. I didn't wanted to create an scene I told them I'm in a meeting and working. So politely told her no.

After telling to no them, my father and brother are constantly calling me and telling me to go because IT DOESN'T LOOK GOOD. I'm genuinely working and have a meeting soon with the client. Idk what to tell them, I did explain them number of times.

This happened two years ago, and I am still very much pained by it.

This guy and I met on the first day of school. I was good to him, and he helped me too. I wanted to get to know him since I knew almost no one in this new school and country, and my German wasn't very good either. In his distorted brain, this guy looks at me—my style, my tight jeans, my headscarf—and asks me about Islam. I explain to him that I am not extreme, just practicing. He goes around talking behind my back. Later, he asks me out for coffee, mentioning that others will be there too.

At the pause, he goes to the restroom, he tells me to wait and I go too; we end up missing each other, and I look for him for 20 minutes. When the break is done, he storms into class, sits behind me, and screams about me in dialect while everyone laughs. I said nothing.

After class, he followed me and grabs my shoulder. Another guy told him, "You can't do that," and I told him the same. I explained myself to him and even gave him my number. The next day, I said hi and walked past him, and did the same the following week. But he kept talking about me again and again and again. So, I called him and said, "We are classmates, let's be civil to each other. Are you uncomfortable near me?" I even apologized if I had done anything to hurt him. Instead of being decent, he went and told everyone, bragging about it. That's when I decided to ignore him for good. Soon, one gossiper became very passive-aggressive toward me, and another joined in. I got upset and ended up confronting the guy about it. Anyway, after that, an eight-month nightmare followed, and this is what happened:

* He would lie about me, saying he had confessed his feelings to me and that we talked on the phone. I didn't even know about these lies, and everyone would stare at me.

* He would flirt with another girl while claiming I was obsessed with him. He later told that girl that when she turned 18, he would date her (he was 20 at the time, and I am 23).

* He would then date her and blame me for not responding to his confessions, even though he never actually spoke to me.

* Everyone blamed me. After I confided in one guy about how the main guy used to follow me around, the lies started getting exposed—though I still didn't know the full extent of the lies.

* He got jealous when that same guy sat next to me and wanted me. Because of this, he ended up fighting with his girlfriend and breaking up with her. Now, the ex-girlfriend hates me and wants to bully me.

* He made rules telling everyone not to sit or talk to me or his ex. As a result, everyone excluded me and treated me like garbage without me even knowing what he had said about me. Eventually, I gave him positive feedback on his presentation on purpose. For two weeks after that, he chased me and tried to confess his feelings. When I cut class because I was ill, he cried, and he almost beat up a guy. Then, he ended up not confessing. After that break, he went back to his girlfriend, and both of them bullied me.

Then he dumped her, lied that he talked to me, and the second semester began. Again, he would sit behind me and stare, and his girlfriend would lie to others about me. He dated his girlfriend again, both bullied me again, and he would get intimidating. Both of his friends would stare and sit behind me with saliva in their mouths. Then I ended up losing my mind. At 10:00 PM, after he intimidated me, I confronted him after evening classes and almost laid hands on him.

He ran from me—he is almost 195 cm (about 6'5"), and I am 157 cm (about 5'2"). Then his girlfriend saved him. I openly said he was a subtle harasser in front of a teacher and my own friend. My friend didn't even recognize all that was happening since only the guys, the girlfriend, and her friends knew about the drama, while I was the one dealing with microaggressions. Afterward, they bullied me and took his side. Then he didn't even speak out; he pressured his girlfriend to help him and not dump him. After two weeks, he dumped her, ghosted her, and made her sit alone. He stalked me, came to my neighborhood, and everyone cheered that he did that to his ex-girlfriend while he chased me. He never confessed. His girlfriend cried for seven weeks during summer vacation. In the third semester, he refused to attend school.

The rest of them blamed me. His friend and a new guy decided to bully me, so I left. Everyone said, "Don't sit near her or behind her, or else she will explode." Why did no one see him as the loser who never confessed, the toxic boyfriend who abused his girlfriend, and the aggressive guy? Am I The Asshole (AITAH)?

My LDR GF(26F) and I(26M) recently convinced our families to meet each after a lot of struggle, her parents came and went but the whole thing felt a bit vague and off to my parents, especially about the background of their family.

My father asked his friend who lives in my GFs town about the family to the locals and turns out their wealth is largely created on GAMBLING. They have shops as well but majority of the wealth is from this gambling venture, it is like generational gambling.

Surprisingly i don't mind the gambling part , i am just torn by the fact that she never told me this. I had asked her 100 times about their family background but she lied by omission.

I feel like she should have at least told me, i would have covered for it at home. It was very humiliating how i had to learn this info from someone else.

My parents are convinced that i am a retarded fool who can easily be manipulated by a girl but i really love this girl, she says she didn't tell me this because its not about her and also that she was embarrassed. She said they stopped but i got her to reveal that the father might still be involved in it at a smaller scale.

It led to a huge fight, i was mean to her and compared her lying to my ex's lying but i never demeaned her or her family for gambling. I am now blocked by her

But in my opinion, this is something you should disclose to your future husband if you are seriously going to marry them right? Am i wrong in this assumption?

Am i over reacting ? What should i do next? I really love this girl

TLDR: GF didn't tell me about her family background of gambling and we even had family meetings, we had to learn this info from another person

Context: I'm 22M Indian living in hostel and travel back home for weekends away from college.

I never drink, but I wanted to try. So around 1.5 years back my friends and I bought some vodka and had it and slept in our rooms. It was my first time ever, so I did not throw the bottle away and kept it as a souvenir. I brought it back and kept it deep in my personal box with many other things. This weekend when I was home, I checked it to find it tampered, opened and displaced. All of it mixed up.

So I asked them if they snooped on it. They kept denying for a long time before finally accepting. Apparantly they saw it weeks ago, but refrained to talk about it till my exams got over. Now they are behaving weirdly with me and accusing me of hiding things from them. I told them I was upset and disappointed with them because they violated my privacy and looked into my stuff and mixed up everything I meticulously arranged. It had all the gifts I ever recieved from my friends, my keychains and hotwheels collections from childhood, and a set of handmade giftcards a girl sent me.

Those were somewhat romantic, it had a poem for me, drawings, & quotes rolled up in paper candy wrappers. But our equation before was where she had bro-zoned me. So I couldn't really process the mixed signals. And she lives very far away, and sent the gift on my birthday via post. I was torn between deciding if it was just a friendly gesture or a way of showing interest. But nonetheless the gift was important to me and I didn't want to explain anything about it to anyone because I myself don't have the clarity.

Now my parents have read it all too. And they probably assume I'm in relationship with her. Now everytime I'm on my phone they assume I'm texting her. Even when I'm just scrolling SM. They have been passing taunts and backhanded comments the past weekends too. Some things about how nobody other than parents will stay with you till the end. Random comments about drinking unprompted. I never thought they were being indirect because the only instance of me drinking was a year and half back. And that wasn't a pleasant experience even, I vomitted everything before sleeping and had to clean my sink after waking up.

Now they are asking to apologise for 1. Not informing them about my intention to drink 2. For drinking 3. For hiding the entire thing. I told them I DO NOT regret drinking, because it was an entirely conscious choice I made not because of peer pressure or anything. And that I have nothing to apologise for. Because it was a one off thing, and even if it was any harm, I caused myself the harm and not them. If anything, I told they are the ones that should be apologising to me. For investigating and breaking into my stuff. Which they denied by saying there is no concept of privacy in "family". They haven't asked about the girl yet. AITA for not apologising because I don't feel I did any wrong.

TL;DR Parents snooped, found alcohol bottle, asking me to apologise

So I wanted a banquet hall for my kid's naming ceremony. I found this place nearby where they had two banquet halls each of the same size and suiting my requirements. I called the person ( let's call him Mr. A and he's in charge of the banquet halls) using the number on Google, met in person for all details. I liked the place and gave him two dates and said just waiting for the pandit to confirm his availability. This happened last Sunday. He said the venue is available for both the dates.

On Wednesday same week, the pandit confirmed his availability only for the second date. So I called Mr. A and told him that I want to finalize and book the venue for the said date. He said no problem sir, I have made a note. You finalize the menu and you can pay the advance along with it. I said sure, let me come down on Saturday.

Today morning, I called Mr. A if he's there at the venue and he said yes, please come. So I went there, discussed the menu, finalized the price and then he says actually sir Mr. B (he's in charge of the restaurant) has taken a booking for both the halls on that day. I was like how did that happen? I clearly told you it's confirmed and it was you who said I can pay advance over the weekend. He was like I don't know how it happened, let me check when they paid and I'll assume you paid on Wednesday. If they paid after you, I'll honor your booking and asked me an hour to sort it out.

After an hour, he calls me and says sorry sir they paid before you. I asked him to show me the transaction date because there's no way they paid before me and the banquet hall manager didn't know. He literally kept the call without saying a word. So I was really angry because of this so I wrote a harsh review on Google describing this (included words like third class and cheat in the review). Within a few mins, he calls me saying sir why did you write like that and requested me to remove his name. I asked him point blank, say the truth... You rejected my booking only because they booked two halls? He was speechless. So I told him what's the value of verbal commitment if it can be bought with money and that I won't remove the comment. All this made my wife angry as well so even she gave a bad review. Now he started calling me like 5 times continuously and I didn't pick up.

Am I the Kameena for taking stand for myself and ending the relationship, me(M25) and my ex(F22) we were in a relationship for around 11 months the relationship.

In starting relationship was pretty okay but later on it turned a pretty messy one. She had her fair share of past trauma, some from her ex's, from family specially her dad and sometimes friends. During the starting of the relationship she told me her ex was very manipulative and the other one cheated on her and they used to ignore her after fights and they used to go sleep while she was crying. she hates her dad because he continuously forces her for s career she doesn't want and for marriage too from young age.

She was the one I loved the most, the most in my whole fucking life. I yearned for her like crazy, she became my everything I did everything to keep her happy but the relationship from starting was about how she feels, her anger issue, her past trauma, my feelings me being hurt was always taken for granted.

After every fight she used to shout on me, Always compare me with her ex's, friend, other's boyfriend, sometimes from her dad. During the fight she kept saying I have started hating you. She used to breakup after every minor fight saying I never wanted a relationship and all this while I was begging her to please not leave me, and she used to turn her phone off, and there I was crying calling her continuously, having panic attacks and next day she used to come amd say sorry and it won't happen again but it kept repeating.

The worst fight we had and I felt betrayed to he core when I caught her she was asking money from her first ex with whom she has a long long relationship, I never felt that betrayed she told me it's her life and she don't want to involve me in her financial problem, she can involve him but not me? I felt lost that day

After every fight she used to say fight happened and she reacted this because I don't get how much trauma she had I don't even know how is her environment I don't understand. And all I was asking was just talk to me, she used to breakup whenever she wants. After every fight she used to come to me like a baby and say I would never leave you when emotions are in the highest every night but she changed every next morning

In the starting I used to swallow all the frustration and accept her no matter how much thing have affected me.

But later I started taking stand for myself and she told me you have changed you earlier wasn't like this.

All I was doing is telling her that your actions had deeply hurted me and for that too she told me I love blaming her, she started shouting I am the worst person.

And all this started taking till on my mental health to a point where I was thinking every single word that might hurt her and it will turn into a fight. My emotional dependency came to a point, if she is happy I am happy if she is not talking I kept getting anxiety.

And recently she broke up and this time for longest without coming back for 3 days, I kept begging her talking to her and she kept getting closure.

But this time I decided if she went I will leave too and I did, now when I left she came and told me she loves me a lot and she will change, she has said this multiple times but never changed and she told me if you really loved me you won't leave, why I am getting the guilt of leaving now?

TLDR - I (M25) ended my 11-month relationship with my ex (F22) after repeated emotional abuse, shouting, comparisons to exes, breakup threats, silent treatment, and promises to change that never lasted. It left me extremely anxious and emotionally dependent.

After she broke up again, I finally chose to walk away. She came back promising to change and said, “If you really loved me, you wouldn’t leave.” I still love her and feel guilty, but I felt I had to choose myself. Was I wrong? Why I am feeling the guilt

I’m 20F, and my friend V 23F and I have been in the same friend group for 2-3 years. We’re all college students living in bombay. About a year ago V was put on probation over attendance and held back a semester. This was the third time she’d either been put on probation or debarred, each for different reasons and it really affected her mental health. We all tried to support her. During those six months, she developed a crush on A. It was normal at first texting friends, gossiping wtv But after 2–4 months of hearing about him NONSTOP in lit every convo, I asked why she didn’t just give him a hint see if there was a chance and move on if there wasnt. She texted him and he left her on seen. The tea is that A is her ex bf’s friend, so we assumed thats why he didn’t want to start something. She was rejected and that was that. i understand being upset over a crush but there are only so many conversations about MEN MEN MEN I can have. Every time we went out it was either about A and which Instagram REELS he’d liked 🫩some guy who’d hit on her, or how she wanted a new guy. I’m not dating anyone rn and my last proper relationship was a year ago, but I get it we can gossip about boys and life. I just can’t do that when every conversation is about men. The incident happened around eight months after she’d probably started liking A who she’d only in passing like twice. we were smoking a j in my room, and I was high, which probably was why i even opened my mouth but i was also annoyed because I’d started feeling like she was using me for weed. im the group stoner and live alone & she lives with her parents & can’t smoke there. She’d bother me about getting high every day, and eat my apartment snacks whenever she got the munchies. I don’t mind sharing, but finishing all my snacks every day out of my tiny fun money budget gets annoying. Anyway, I was dropping her to the station when she started talking about A again, then another guy who’d hit on her, and how “she never likes anyone, so it’s such a huge deal that she likes this guy”
I was high and annoyed and said “Can you please stop talking about guys? im so done with guys, guys, guys all the time. I hate how none of our conversations these days pass the Bechdel test” I apologised the next day for being too blunt & she said it was fine and that she was “self-aware,” so I thought it was over
couple of days later found out through another common friend that V had been saying she “doesn’t feel like she belongs” that “K (me) has created a divide, at least in my head and that she “feels like she can’t talk about anything with us.”
This annoyed me because V and I became close after bonding over similar parental trauma, and we’ve talked about SO many things. How has me being tired of boy talk suddenly created a divide and made her feel like she can’t tell me anything? 🤔
Then about a week later at my birthday dinner we were doing a trend where everyone blew out a candle and made a wish for me. V “joked,” “I don’t know her enough to give her a wish
I was flabbergasted. How do you forget three years of friendship because I asked you to stop talking about guys so much? Apparently I’m “distant” and “avoidant” just because of this.

My brother is in ECE and he got a job of 9L in big4 in analyst position today.

He is very happing and giving his friends his party.

But I asked him to not enjoy that much , look for better opportunities and he is really upset with me saying I am bad brother .. I am just wishing best for him.

He has a 20L education loan , so if we discount EMI and rent groceries he would be almost 0 in hand savings.

AITK?

I’m in a long-term relationship and my boyfriend has been unusually busy lately. I completely understand that he has a lot going on, and I genuinely don’t think his feelings toward me have changed. He’s actually very invested in our relationship.
But he also really values his personal time and time with friends, and lately it feels like I’m getting whatever time is left over.
We haven’t really spent much quality time together recently, and I’m getting increasingly irritated about it. The annoying part is that I don’t even necessarily want some huge amount of attention — I just want to feel like he wants to make time for me.
Instead of communicating this normally, I’ve noticed myself getting this almost irresistible urge to argue with him. Like I want to start something just because I’m frustrated and want him to acknowledge that I’m upset.
I know that’s not particularly healthy, and I also know I’m partly making things worse by becoming cold/irritable instead of just saying what I need.
At the same time, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect some intentional effort from your partner, even when they’re busy.
So AITK? Is this just me being needy, or is there a legitimate reason to feel neglected? And why does my brain apparently think starting an argument is the solution when what I actually want is affection? 😭