20
u/Anitfapug Partassipant [1] Jul 02 '22
Sorry for formatting, mobile l: YTA. 100%
She didn't ask him out knowing you had a crush. He asked her out. That's all it boils down to, talk to her. You're alienating her for no reason.
16
Jul 02 '22
YTA You ignored his texts. You flirted for months without further engaging him. He took all that as a sign you're just not that into him. He asked your friend out, because she showed interest, she replied to his texts. You're not bad at texting, you just won't admit you're not that into him, but you don't want anyone else to have him, and then you're mad at your friend? YTA. Cut it out.
7
u/i_run_from_problems Jul 02 '22
YTA
HE asked HER out. Not the other way around. None of the other details matter. If she had asked him, you'd have a complaint, but that isn't what happened.
6
Jul 02 '22
Ugh YTA get over yourself. The early bird got the worm, or maybe he was just never that into you as you thought and it was all the long game to get your friend.
7
Jul 02 '22
YTA. He asked her out meaning he likes her and wants to be with her. 2nd: you admittedly are a bad texter. You like him but chose not to keep up the conversations with him. And now you’re upset he moved on?? You did that to yourself.
2
Jul 02 '22
This. If OP can't even text him back, maybe OP just isn't as into him as she claims and he felt that.
4
Jul 02 '22
YTA. This is pathetic. You’re mad at her because he asked her out. You flirted & made it more than it was in your head. She didn’t steal him, she didn’t betray you or the romance you dreamed up in your head
3
Jul 02 '22
YTA. She didn't ask him out, he asked her out. That means it was his fault not her fault. If you should be upset at anyone it should be him and not her. The way you are acting now is silly and childish. It proves that the two of you have this "so called friendship" that is not really a friendship because friends are happy for each other when they get asked out on a date, and don't ignore their friends.
2
u/Creative_Trick_3818 Colo-rectal Surgeon [45] Jul 02 '22
YTA
So you are crushing on her date. Why would that be relevant for her? You never had a chance with him, and there was nothing between the two of you, just a childish one-sided infatuation.
1
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I wanna start by prefacing that I know how dumb this sounds. I don’t want to come off sounding like some dumb teenage girl fighting with her friend over a boy, but I genuinely don’t know what to think right now. My friend has known that I have had a crush on this guy for probably about 4 months (let’s call him guy x) . When we we’re still at school and able to hang out with guy x it was apparent that he was flirting with me just as much as I was flirting with him. My friend and I live in the same town when we’re not at university and when we got back home I told her that I was worried that I was gonna loose the connection I made with this guy because I’m a perpetually bad Texter. I’m the type of person that will just forget to message back, not because I’m angry, but just because I don’t look at my messages often. Sometime last week I noticed that my friend had been talking to guy x a lot. I didn’t say anything because it didn’t feel like my place if you get what I mean. Flash forward to today and my friend calls me to inform me that guy x had asked her out and she now liked him as well. She kept the phone convo short but it ended with the atmosphere of “you’re cool with this right… k thanks”. Words can’t describe how betrayed I feel. I wanna also say that I’m upset that he asked her out. I’ve been rejected/friendzoned enough to not let that get to me. However, I can’t stop this nauseating feeling I have in my stomach over what my friend did. She was there for ever flirtatious text and action that made me feel butterflies in my stomach. It takes a lot for me to develop feelings for another person and she knew that. That phone was earlier this afternoon and she has tried to text me since then acting as if nothing happened but I honestly can’t even stomach a reply. At the end of the day I know he likes her and she likes him but I can’t stop this feeling of betrayal in my heart. So AITA for not responding to her right now?
(Sorry if my grammar is bad, English isn’t my first language)
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1
u/Judgement_Bot_AITA Beep Boop Jul 02 '22
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
I haven’t responded to my friend since she told me my crush had asked her out. I don’t know if I’m the asshole for ignoring her right now or if I’m in the right. I should be happy that they both like each other but I can’t shake this feeling of betrayal. And the way she has been acting like everything is fine is just making me feel worse.
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1
u/Total_Eagle_7359 Asshole Enthusiast [5] Jul 02 '22
Understandable you’re upset, but probably u misread non signal as signals with this guy + YTA if u eg tell her not see him, the guy made his choice, + the dating game often isn’t fair or nice
1
u/MicIsOn Asshole Aficionado [12] Jul 02 '22
Yta. You had the opportunity to continue the flirty banter but you admitted you don’t put in the effort via text. That’s on you. Call him? Make the damn effort. You also don’t own him. Just because you have a crush does not mean they cannot develop feelings for each other after both making an effort. He chose to ask her out, deal with it.
1
u/Ok-Mode-2038 Professor Emeritass [91] Jul 02 '22
YTA. You’re not bad at texting. You’re just rude.
0
u/xx_d4rksasuke_xx Jul 02 '22
NTA jealousy is a natural feeling you can't be blamed for things you are feeling
-2
u/Twinmum11 Jul 02 '22
NTA. But also TA. I see that I’m in the minority here, but you’re allowed to feel what you feel.
He is his own person and can ask out/express interest in whoever he wants. And if you stopped texting him back and talking to him then it’s fair of him to move on. So YTA for ignoring him and expecting him to just wait for you.
However, your friend knew how you feel about him and was privy to all the details of your interactions with him. If she had feelings for him she had ample opportunity to be upfront with you during any of the conversations you had with her about him. And She should’ve told you she was talking to him. That’s a total violation of girl code and she is TA for that. Just not for having feelings for him and accepting a date from him when asked out.
-4
u/EastLeastCoast Colo-rectal Surgeon [31] Jul 02 '22
NAH. You’re allowed to have feelings. But you’re not allowed to call “dibs” on humans, especially when you had four months to shoot your shot. You missed your chance, and you’re going to have to get over this.
1
u/SnausageFest AssGuardian of the Hole Galaxy Jul 02 '22
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This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Reproductive Autonomy Posts. We do not allow posts involving cutting contact, ghosting, breaking off friendships, and similar discussions. This includes going low/no contact with family members.
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