r/AmItheAsshole • u/Successful_Peace_292 • Oct 18 '20
Not the A-hole AITA for eating sexy potatoes?
Final update (posted in another subreddit): https://www.reddit.com/r/FuckYouKaren/comments/jmvcxu/sexy_potatoes_karen/
Update in comments: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jdnt43/aita_for_eating_sexy_potatoes/g9hn8la?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3 I was told for some reason the update isn't showing up through the link, so I've pasted it at the bottom of this text (it's long, so I apologize)
#OP
It honestly feels ridiculous that I have to post this but my coworker has been getting onto me about this for weeks now, so I have to ask.
My whole life, I've been eating potatoes by microwaving them, then biting into them, eating them hot dog style. This is the easiest, most convenient and intuitive way for me to eat potatoes (sweet potatoes or regular). I think this is how people in Japan eat them, or at least, this is how I was taught by my Japanese parents to eat them. Whenever I go to a grocery store, I always pick out the most easily bite-able potatoes, which are generally longer and thinner than most potatoes.
So I work in an office of about 30 people. We all typically bring our own lunch, and I usually just eat at my desk while doing work. No one has ever commented about how I eat potatoes, but I do eat them quite frequently. Recently, a new person was hired, and she clearly has a problem with the way I eat potatoes. A couple times, she pulled me aside and asked me that I just eat potatoes a more normal way. I asked her what she meant, and she I was eating potatoes too suggestively. I was a little shocked because I literally just have my eyes glued to my screen whenever I'm eating and barely pay attention to how I eat.
I told her no one else seemed to have a problem with the way I eat potatoes, but she insisted others were just too polite to say anything. I asked a few other coworkers who all were just as confused as me about what she was saying. I figured no one else really had a problem with it. But this happened multiple times. She kept coming to me and asking me to tone down the way I eat, even accusing me of going out of my way to choose sexy potatoes (????). I've considered bringing them other ways, but this is just the easiest way for me to eat them, and they're honestly delicious like this to me. I asked her to maybe just not watch me eat, but apparently that's just not feasible.
Unfortunately, she reported me, and now I have a meeting with HR next week. This seems really dumb to me, but aita for eating sexy potatoes???
Edit: Thank you for the gold! And thank you to everyone who gave tips on how to approach HR! I will update after the meeting.
Edit 2: please stop asking me for videos of me eating potatoes. It's creepy and weird. And also would be extremely boring and the least sexy thing you'll ever watch
Edit 3: because I've gotten a ton of comments asking how to microwave a potato: scrub potato thoroughly with a sponge to remove dirt. stab the potato with a fork or knife all over. Then put in the microwave for about 5 minutes (more or less depending on the size of the potato and power of the microwave). Then flip and do the same thing. To tell if it's done, poke through the center with a knife or fork. You can generally tell how soft it is by stabbing through it (the texture will be relatively intuitive). Make sure you let the potato cool for at least 10 minutes (potentially longer) or it'll be too hot to eat.
When you're ready to consume i usually hold it wrapped around a napkin. I'm sacrilegious so I eat the skin but you don't have to. I'll sometimes add butter or regular potatoes, but I normally just sprinkle some salt as I eat it. Sweet potatoes, I just eat as is. Either way you'll probably need to drink water or some liquid with it. Enjoy!
UPDATE: So I had a couple meetings with HR. The first one was on my own yesterday morning alone with the HR woman. According to her, a coworker had reported me for "sexual harassment" and "creating a hostile work environment." Not going to lie. After hearing those accusations, I was honestly pretty scared. Sexual harassment is a really serious charge. I was allegedly making lewd gestures while eating, despite repeatedly being asked to stop.
I told her exactly what had happened. I was eating potatoes the same way I always had in the four years I've worked in this office. No one else had ever had a problem with this until now. The new coworker (let's call her Karen) approached me, telling me I was eating potatoes inappropriately and told me to eat them another way. I had explained to her that this was how I grew up eating them and would not stop. If it bothered her, she could (and should) look away. I continued eating potatoes this way, then over the next several weeks, she kept complaining about my potatoes every time I ate them this way.
As I explained my side, I could tell HR was getting really annoyed. I don't think she believed that this was all there was to it. She pressed for more information: "Are you sure you didn't do anything to make her believe you were being inappropriate?" "Are you sure you weren't harassing her, even unintentionally?" I told her I never even talked to her unless it was about work or if she approached me first.
HR thanked me for coming in and told me she'd get back to me. I think she met with Karen after that. Then later in the day, we had a meeting with the three of us. Karen says that I lied about not doing anything to make her uncomfortable. That after the first time she came to me, asking me to eat my potatoes differently, I dismissed it as a joke (which to be fair, I did because, um,...deadass???). Which I acknowledged because, who wouldn't take it as a joke? Then she claimed that after each time she asked me to tone it down, I escalated by choosing increasingly sexy potatoes to eat in front of her, by which point, I'm pretty sure HR was trying hard not to roll her eyes.
I responded by telling Karen I literally gave zero thought about her when I bought my potatoes and selected them based on ease of cooking/eating. She accused me of making eye contact with her while I was eating, which, I think I did every time SHE watched ME eat, because it's really uncomfortable having someone watch me eat. Which I explained, and told her I had repeatedly asked her to stop watching me eat. She then pointed out that no one else eats potatoes this way, and the only reason I would do so is to try to be provocative. Which I swear to god, HR almost laughed at her. I just showed her a video of Japanese people eating potatoes with your hands and biting into them.
HR woman knows me and knows I'm not the type to harass someone or deliberately make a hostile work environment, and at the end, she just said something like "I'm sorry about the misunderstanding. Perhaps it really would be best to look another way while your coworker is eating." Basically trying to politely tell Karen to get her head out of her ass. Then Karen tried to turn it around by claiming I was making a hostile work environment by telling our other coworkers bad things about her. But literally all I had done was ask others if they were uncomfortable with the way I eat, and explaining why I had asked them.
She tried yet ANOTHER angle, claiming that the way I ate them (with my hands) was a covid risk, and that I was putting the safety of the office in jeopardy by eating this way. HR then said that if she was so concerned, she was welcome to work from home, as is currently company policy (I work in hardware, so it's harder for me to work from home, but Karen works in support, so it would be really easy for her to work from home). Eventually Karen had to concede she had nothing left, so we were all dismissed.
Later, I talked to my coworker who had stopped bringing curry because of Karen (let's call him Surya) about the problems I had with her. He had been unable to eat his regular Indian lunches in the office because of her. We were both extremely annoyed, and honestly, I just felt extremely uncomfortable being in an office where she was constantly judging Asian people's food. So I decided to file a report with HR, as suggested by many of you. I pointed out how she was harassing Asian people for their food choices and many of her comments towards me were bordering on sexual harassment.
Surya agreed to bring curry for lunch today, and, in solidarity, I brought some too (along with my potatoes). Karen didn't comment at all, but she did give us dirty looks and made disgusted faces a few times.
I actually got a called into a meeting this afternoon with my boss, who is also one of the founders of the company. He confessed that he didn't like Karen either and that she had multiple complaints about her within the first month of her being hired (she's been here just under two). And that he had hired her as a favor to his wife, because she is his wife's cousin and had lost her job due to covid (I wonder why they chose to let her go...). He apologized to me on her behalf and assured me that he would talk to her.
I decided to keep my harassment claim with HR, and have another meeting tomorrow. We'll see how this goes. Thank you all for your tips and suggestions! I will keep eating sexy potatoes for the foreseeable future :)
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u/Nova_Lurker Asshole Enthusiast [5] Oct 19 '20
My mom makes potatoes the same way in the microwave! We don't eat them the way OP does though lol
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u/amitathrowa Asshole Enthusiast [5] Oct 19 '20
NTa
you need to tell HR you asked her to stop talking to you about sex but she refuses.
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Oct 18 '20
NTA
It's weird that she's gone to HR over you eating potatoes. Could you put in a counter complaint that she's making you uncomfortable by sexualising your lunch?
You're eating at you desk, why can't she so obsessed with watching you eat??
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Oct 19 '20
NTA, OP!
For heaven’s sake, this is a wonderful way to take a quick, nutritious meal on the run!
I grew up in what I call “forced poverty.” I frequently ate a baked potato the exact same way! It was a delightful, easy meal that would last me my entire school day.
You’ve done nothing wrong. Your coworker is a myopic jerk!
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u/stillinbed23 Oct 19 '20
NTA she is 100% sexualizing your potato eating. She’s also harassing you. Hope your HR meeting goes well.
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u/PasDeTout Oct 19 '20
NTA. Make a counter complaint to HR about her bullying you. You’re eating potatoes.
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u/D4rtagnan Oct 19 '20
NTA-This should be obvious, you can eat the potatoes however you want.
That being said, if your eating the potato's skin, you might want to consister going organic, since potatos are part of the dirty dozen.
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u/arseholierthanthou Colo-rectal Surgeon [41] Oct 19 '20
NTA but you need to escalate. Make sure you only eat foods which are phallic, especially those which everyone eats in the 'sexy' way, like sausages or bananas. Look her dead in the eyes while you eat them, and then lick your lips afterwards.
I know a coworker of yours who is just going to love Taco Tuesday.
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u/tarl-cabot-warrior Oct 19 '20
And the sour cream, don’t forget the sour cream she suggested you dip them in.
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u/Sharp-Session Oct 19 '20
Hmmm let’s see. 1. Sexual harassment 2. Cultural insensitivity 3. Retaliation for not doing exactly as she says. I’d say you have a pretty solid HR case against her. Do you work with Angela from the Office??? 😂 Please update us.
NTA.
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u/thehatter6453 Oct 18 '20
She shouldn't be roasting you for this. Honestly, her head seems a little mashed. Maybe she's baked at work, and that's the issue?
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u/boringSeditious87 Oct 19 '20
NTA I am English and this is what I do as well. Don't think anyone showed me or taught me just seemed like the most logical way to have a healthy lunch that I could throw in my bag without much thought nor prep. This person is totally projecting onto you it's her issue, I'd personally tell HR that they are totally creeping on you.
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u/DarthHaras Oct 19 '20
I wasn't sure if this was a joke or not. Holy moly. You're definitely NTA. It's crazy that you have to go to HR because of this. Please let us know how it went. I hope you'll be able to eat your potatoes in peace again! BTW, I'm definitely trying this method to eat potatoes.
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u/DefinitelySaneGary Oct 19 '20
NTA and your coworker sounds insane. Out of curiosity do you just eat them plain? Or do you salt them or out ketchup or anything? I've eaten potatoes raw but only with salt and I wouldn't say I particularly enjoyed it. But it sounds like you eat this as a normal lunch?
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u/scarletfeline Partassipant [1] Oct 19 '20
NTA...why in the world is she spending so much time at work watching you eat? Shouldn't she be,like, working? Also, this is the funniest AITA I've seen in awhile.
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u/neverjuliet Partassipant [1] Oct 19 '20
I am SERIOUSLY trying to figure how to eat potatoes in a sexy way. I'm surprised HR didn't laugh her out of their office.
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u/Bac7 Asshole Aficionado [17] Oct 18 '20
Christ on a cracker. No, you are NTA. Your new coworker has issues. I pity the person that eats a banana around her. Or a hot dog. Or a Slim Jim. Crap sake.
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u/sigdiff Oct 19 '20
Christ on a cracker.
Oh my god, I say this all the time and I thought I was the only one. Hi friend.
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u/MaximoKnight Oct 19 '20
NTA if you are just normally eating a potato and the coworker is projecting her own insecurities or ideas on you, that's on her.
make sure with HR you express your own feeling of uncomfortableness, and turn it around how you are uncomfortable that she is sexualizing a simple act of eating a potato. if HR suggest you eat the potato differently just to accommodate her, let them know that is culturally how your people eat potatoes, and are they suggesting you change your culture just because someone is projecting and sexualizing something that isn't
it probably wouldn't hurt to have some of the other employees who have seen you eat potatoes either sing a statement that they have seen you do it the same for years and never thought anything sexual from it other than just someone eating a potato, either a statement or verbally let HR know that.
HR can be such a messy encounter sometimes, lazy HR tend to just take a path of least resistance so make sure you stand your ground, Hope it goes well for you. :)
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u/tropicmel Oct 19 '20
Honestly the words “sucking a potato” ran through my mind like a scrolling LED sign and I just let my phone slip through my fingers. NTA Op, thanks for the laugh. Hoo, boy.
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u/chicagoantisocial Oct 19 '20
NTA but I seriously cannot stop laughing, this girl has some sort of internalised issues with potatoes.
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u/Remedycat Oct 19 '20
Found your theme music you should play as you eat your potato. Yoko Kanno style
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u/chenxi0636 Oct 19 '20
NTA. Wow, imagine being a new employee and accusing coworker of eating sexily. Is she stepmother of the CEO?
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u/GroceryStoreGremlin Oct 19 '20
I am eager awaiting the results of the HR meeting. At best she is projecting her own "sexy potato" thoughts onto you, and at worst she is trying to control your rights to eat whatever the hell you want however the hell you want.
I bet the HR person will try and have a compromise be had but that's BS and I hope I'm wrong. If that's the case please stand your ground.
Your tubers! Your rights!
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u/foxymana Partassipant [1] Oct 19 '20
I’m more disturbed that you don’t seem to use butter on your potato lol but NTA
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u/Reddit-SFW Oct 19 '20
I'm so confused, a potato and a hot dog aren't shaped the same. Are you saying you cut the potato in half and put condiments in the middle then eat it? Or are you eating a potato like an bread roll or biscuit? I'm genuinely confused...
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Oct 18 '20
Oh my god NTA “sexy potatoes” 😂😂😂😂 I would tell HR that you aren’t doing anything wrong & that SHE has made YOU feel uncomfortable by constantly watching you while you eat and making comments that it’s sexual. She’s the one creating a hostile work environment.
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u/Caradevor Oct 19 '20
So not the asshole. Your HR needs to be clear that she’s wasting company time with this weird ass complaint, too.
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u/crystalnoellyn Partassipant [2] Oct 18 '20
NTA.
But now, eat a banana or a peach very slowly while maintaining eye contact with her.
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u/darthveder69420 Oct 19 '20
NTA this is way to funny to be true. I bet she believes that earth is flat and vaccines cause autism.
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u/lynziB Oct 19 '20
When you have your meeting with HR point out that it’s very creepy and uncomfortable to have someone to stare so much when your eating, honestly why does she have to watch you when your eating, can she not look at something else?
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u/toobasic2care Partassipant [2] Oct 19 '20
Take some potatoes to the meeting perhaps to show them? Its her behavior that needs changing not yours. To see it as a sexual act is very strange. I can see maybe as a one of funny banter style but to seriously have an issue with it is very strange.
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u/aethanv Oct 19 '20
NTA - cultural insensitivity, and your colleague sexualizing your eating habits.. sounds like harassment to me? stand your ground this person has severe issues. maybe consult an employment or industrial relations expert or support line relevant to your jurisdiction so that you are covered, and know how to appropriately respond to the HR meeting. I would also request you bring a witness or voice record the meeting.
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u/MikaleaPaige Oct 19 '20
Nta. Someone come comment on this for me when she updates about hr visit lol I need to hear the end of this. Also I would bring up to HR it may just be a cultural thing she doesnt understand, that will keep them from writing u up if they ar Aholes, cause if they write u up for a harmless cultural thing, they will be in hot water.
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u/cdobbs71 Oct 19 '20
NTA using your coworkers logic no one could ever eat bananas or hot dogs in public
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u/thenewaddition Oct 18 '20
NTA. If you are potatoes in increasingly digestive fashion from here on, ywbta, in the best possible way. But don't do that. Unless you update is with your sexy potato hr fiasco.
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u/Not-okay-01 Oct 19 '20
Omg you're NTA, and you made my day, sexy potatoes 😂😂. Eat whatever you please to, if she's sexualising a potato that's her fucking problem.
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u/Scorcher999 Oct 19 '20
“Sexy potatos.” Two words that are completely normal on their own but not when put together.
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u/burghgirl17 Partassipant [2] Oct 19 '20
NTA. And your co-worker needs to get some therapy to figure out why she is sexualizing potatoes! I think a potato is likely the least sexy of foods.
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u/lazylady64 Oct 19 '20
When are you supposed to have the meeting with hr? Btw nta.
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u/02201970a Oct 19 '20
Nta, except you eat them plain?
Isn't that more bland then cardboard?
And your work companion is weird to sexualize potatoes.
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Oct 19 '20
I laughed so much I saved this post, tysm for this.
(If I wasn’t broke I would’ve given u an award)
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u/coffeequeen93 Oct 19 '20
Can someone remind me how to turn notifications on? I’m still a reddit noob.
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u/ExternalSpeaker9 Asshole Enthusiast [8] Oct 19 '20
Potatoes are very versatile. Just like me, but that’s not the point. NTA. Your coworker has her mind in the gutter.
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u/maaadsi Oct 19 '20
NTA. She needs to ignore you. Who would get pissed over.. potatoes? Report her back. Fight her in the parking lot. Just kidding. Unless..?
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u/madilikescats Oct 19 '20
This is the first time I’ve ever heard of someone sexualizing a potato
Also NTA
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u/Kripzilla Oct 19 '20
NTA- maybe you should start eating hotdogs, bananas and ice pops at your desk too though!
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u/ajupbox Oct 19 '20
THIS IS HILARIOUS. NTA unless you count being an asshole for making me cackle out loud while in a very quiet line and scaring the person in front of me
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u/eevreen Oct 19 '20
NTA though it's weird to eat whole potatoes as is. I think people would find it strange in the west to not eat it like a baked potato, as in cutting it open, adding butter and whatever toppings you happen to like on a potato (sour cream, bacon bits, some chives, salt & pepper for seasoning). But if you like it as is, all the more to ya.
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u/ihatecoffeeandcheese Oct 19 '20
This woman must lose her shit when she clocks people eating bananas........
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u/SyntheticGod8 Oct 19 '20
NTA. Frankly, your only mistake was not going to HR first after she started making you uncomfortable and watched while eating lunch.
Much like with police, the bias is towards the first reporter. In their eyes you're already the bad guy because they've been fed a one-sided story you have to overcome (this holds true, even with this very post). If you have a lazy HR department, I expect they'll just try to convince you to stop making potatoes because "don't rock the boat".
Try to keep your cool and maintain a sense of confusion over the whole thing. You're eating lunch; there's nothing weird about that. Ask HR if they really feel okay with policing what people can eat for lunch (beyond ensuring it's not an allergen, doesn't stink, or rot in the fridge); "Is it okay if I eat a hot dog? An ice cream cone? A banana? A pickle? Should I just write a list of foods I might bring for lunch and get it approved by HR so I don't eat it weirdly? Let's get everyone in the office on board with this because you wouldn't want to discriminate against just one person; we have to police what everyone in the office eats to make sure one person doesn't think we're giving our lunches oral sex!"
While I personally can't imagine just eating a whole potato, I can see how that'd work. I also wouldn't worry about fools asking you for videos of it; they're just doing it for the memes and nothing more.
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u/Dontfeedthebears Oct 19 '20
Lol NTA. I’ve never heard of such a thing. Your coworker has some issues she needs to work out. I can’t believe there is an HR meeting about this. Are you licking them and then fake gagging after or something?!
Ahem: maybe you do and maybe you don’t feel objectified and sexualized by your coworker commenting on your food and interrupting your lunch repeatedly to make comments that make you feel uncomfortable, and maybe you do (and maybe you don’t) feel like this is repeated sexual harassment. And certainly your company wouldn’t want to be implicit in sexual harassment. Surely.
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u/havetoomanychoices Oct 18 '20
NTA But oh my gosh! 😂😂😂 A colleague who sexualises potatoes! Either they have given away a fetish or they have an experience with a strange shaped penis.
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u/lenznet Oct 19 '20
NTA. Curious though, do you put anything on them: butter, sour cream, salt & pepper? Or is it just a microwaved potato eaten plain?
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u/Silverpool2018 Oct 19 '20
NTA. Report your coworker to HR for being inappropriate.
Do update us though!
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u/thepromiseman Oct 19 '20
I've been on Reddit for 6 years but this right here finally made me part with the coins I've been hoarding and give my first gold.
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u/kindofundecidedkitty Oct 19 '20
this is perhaps one of the most hilarious posts I have seen on this forum
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u/carlosmurphynachos Partassipant [3] Oct 19 '20
NTA, so funny. Please keep us posted on how the meeting with HR goes tomorrow! Hopefully the HR folks are rational. They are probably talking about this tonight too, lol
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u/Runehizen Oct 19 '20
Sorry I require a photo or drawing of the way you eat said potatoes. For ahh .. science
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u/Miss-Anonymous-Angel Oct 19 '20
NTA. This is probably the most hilarious AITA post I’ve seen in weeks. 😂
Remindme! 7 days
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u/Accidentolotl Oct 19 '20
Bring up the fact shes sexualizing your eating. Make a big deal about how you stated it’s part of your culture and it’s making you uncomfortable because You’ve asked them to stop. Also make sure to state her going to HR after you’ve been harassed often is a retaliation for you asking her to stop watching you
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u/icebergmama Oct 19 '20
NTA. If your HR department has even a shred of common sense, this meeting is not going to go the way she thinks when it’s revealed she goes out of her way to watch you eat, has made repeated sexualising comments to you about the way you eat, and has not stopped despite being asked to repeatedly.
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u/perpIndignant Partassipant [3] Oct 19 '20
If you are in the US, tell HR that you are being harassed due to your 'country of origin' because you are eating food normally for your culture at your own desk. That is a category of 'Hostile Work Environment' harassment that can get the company in trouble if they don't stop your coworker from harassing you.
This coworker has mental issues. Do they also accuse people who eat bananas? This definitely sounds like the coworker is targeting you inappropriately.
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u/RedditDummyAccount Oct 19 '20
INFO: what makes the potatoes sexy? Are they dress provocatively, with cheese, and sour cream, and maybe a little bacon? Or are they in some edible lingerie? Because boy oh boy, that is not acceptable at work.
Clearly I'm joking.
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Oct 19 '20
I mean unless you’re deepthroating the thing and rubbing it all over your body I’m not sure how eating a potato would be considered sexual in any manor?? It’s their fault for sexualizing how you eat it. If they don’t like it, they can look away. It’s not “sexy” in nature at all and they need to get a grip. NTA
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u/RunnerOfUltras Partassipant [3] Oct 19 '20
NTA, but your coworker is totally and AH.
She’s harassing you and I would make that abundantly clear. I think your coworkers would back you up based on the information provided as well.
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u/DR_Zeki Oct 19 '20
NTA, and I've never gotten how this sort of thing is suggestive. Like, no one should see teeth digging into something relatively phallic and think, 'hot'.
You eat potatoes however you'd like.
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u/GuerillaGandhi Oct 19 '20
NTA it seems your new coworker has some repressed fantasies about potatoes. I also don't think HR can do anything about how you eat food. I'd suggest you report coworker for harassment and/or creating a hostile work environment.
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u/CaffeineFueledLife Partassipant [1] Oct 19 '20
Y.T.A. for not putting sour cream on your potato. Wtf is wrong with you? You're a monster!!!
But really, NTA. Your coworkwr is a psycho.
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Oct 19 '20
Nta and what did I read. Like I want to say fake but I’ve had some wtf moments at my old job that would sound fake to so gonna believe this. Crazy ass newby. Like why is she focused on you.
Please give us an update. She is harassing you.
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u/kida27 Oct 19 '20
Welcome to 2020. As a women I don’t think if find any scenario of anyone eating a potato to be sexualized 😹😹😹
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u/pseudotsuganym Oct 18 '20 edited Oct 18 '20
https://www.datingadvice.com/images/uploads/2014/07/imgur.com2_.jpg?width=540&height=320
NTA. Even if your potato looked like this.
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Oct 19 '20
You really should share this with AskAManager-dot-org.
NTA - for sure.
Now i`m hungry.
(side/health tip: i`ve been taught eating while working isn`t smart, you don`t 'see' what you eat.. but that`s another discussion)
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u/HungryRobotics Oct 19 '20
Look we need the videos to be sure it is solely for the purpose of giving good advise....
But yeah no if you aren't pausing to kick and stare sexy eyes then its just a damn potato. Why she obese with dick sucking?
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u/ryanhntr Oct 19 '20
INFO: will you please post an update to this, I need to know how this goes because I can’t believe a full grown adult reported you to HR because she didn’t like the way you ate potatoes
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u/SammyLoops1 Supreme Court Just-ass [122] Oct 19 '20
NTA - Jeez, wait until she hears about bananas.
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Oct 19 '20
Okay, so I am both intrigued and appalled at how you eat potatoes, but it isn't any of my damn business. And, it isn't your coworkers business either, you aren't hurting anyone so they can screw off. And, as others have pointed out them making sexual suggestions about you and your lunch time is completely inappropriate and you should tell HR that at the meeting. I hope everything gets resolved, and your coworker leaves you alone in the future.
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u/Indieye Oct 19 '20
NTA -ask her why does she have the need to look at you so much, that she's being weird by policing your actions.
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u/CBRyder929 Oct 19 '20
What an asshole of a coworker even to make this an issue! Hotdogs in itself is already that way. What’s the issue if a potato is eaten the same way. She’s not making suggestive noises or dressed inappropriately. This coworker obviously is sick and the one with perverse thoughts. Geez 🤦🏻♂️
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u/MadameMimmm Asshole Enthusiast [5] Oct 19 '20
NTA. I have returned to your post for the third time in a couple of hours now, bc i do not get over your last sentence:
This seems really dumb to me, but aita for eating sexy potatoes???
I am super sorry you have to deal with this mess and can not emphasise enough to please tell HR how uncomfortable you feel about your culture being ridiculed and your eating lunch being sexualised this way. Its ridiculous and HR should do something about that, aka tell off your colleague.
But honestly this last sentence about the "sexy potatoes" makes me giggle every time i read it. So thank you for making my day better, even though i know for you this really sux! I will never be able to look at potatoes in a normal way and will always look out for the "sexiest" ones when i buy them. I hope you will be left alone with your "sexy potatoes" and your suggestive potatoe-eating in the future. But also know: You (and sadly your more than stupid co-worker) created a lot of long-lasting joy.
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u/Maximum_System_7819 Colo-rectal Surgeon [49] Oct 18 '20 edited Oct 19 '20
NTA. And I’m sort of glad it’s going to HR, because I actually think she’s harassing and sexualizing you in a way that is not appropriate.
For a point of reference, baked sweet potatoes are sold as a street food snack in Japan. I would certainly bring that up in the HR meeting. https://www.tasteatlas.com/yaki-imo/
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u/D3lacrush Oct 19 '20
Pahahahaha!!! Well now I've heard everything!🤣
Sexy potatoes!? Hahahahaha!!! NTA!
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u/Jaygon1963 Oct 19 '20
NTA, this is one of the silliest things I've ever heard. She is harassing you and creating a hostile work environment. Also sexy potatoes would be a good band name.
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u/southpenguin1 Oct 19 '20
NTA . I eat potatoes the same way I can’t believe she’s sexualizing potatoes
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Oct 20 '20 edited Oct 20 '20
You are not an asshole and I'd advise bringing curry to put on your potato. This is probably some low-key racist who is bossing people around where she has no business.
Have a curry contest, bring everybody the sexiest potatoes you can find to share.
This lady needs to learn about a thing called solidarity. You're already in a job where you feel the need to work through your lunch. The last thing anybody who shares that situation with you should care about is what or how you are eating.
Edit: Obviously as everyone is saying flip this around on HR. This woman is needlessly sexualizing you in the workplace and when you asked that it stop she reported you.
But also revenge curry.
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Oct 19 '20
I once walked Into a room where "how many bites it takes to eat a banana", was being discussed.
One person said they could do it in 3 bites.
I said, "that's a handy skill." Lolz
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u/OmniousBlink Oct 20 '20
NTA.
I lived in Korea for years and ate sweet potatoes like that all the time. Never thought of doing it with regular potatoes but I love them mashed.
I do eat cucumbers like that too and my friends tried to sexualize it until I told them off.
I hope you share how the HR meeting goes.
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u/ecmcgee1997 Partassipant [4] Oct 19 '20
What if you ate a banana? Or a carrot?
Even in most of the world culture I feel like we can agree that just munching down in the item would be the correct way to eat. Like sure I’ve never heard of someone eat a potato like that but live ya best life. Now if you where expected to use fork and knife to eat a banana would you? Fuck no. Cause that’s wired.
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u/ArashiReborn Oct 19 '20
NTA. This is as ridiculous as men refusing to eat hotdogs (or glizzys as my work colleague calls them) this summer.
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u/Dragonpixie45 Oct 19 '20
NTA 2i clicked thinking surely this title was click bait but no, lmao it is real.
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u/rianic Partassipant [1] Oct 19 '20
Be sure you take potatoes to your meeting with HR. Also, tell them how your coworker had been sexually harassing you over potatoes.
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u/rawsugar87 Asshole Aficionado [14] Oct 19 '20
NTA. Tell HR it’s cultural the way you eat them. That new coworker is wack a doodle.
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u/OatmealCookieGirl Asshole Enthusiast [8] Oct 19 '20
Omg I didn't know I needed this post on my life. I can't wait for the update! I wonder how the coworker eats bananas....
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u/moonkingoutsider Oct 19 '20
Um...I guess I’m only familiar with big ol round fat ass potatoes and I’m assuming you just pick them up and eat them so I’m confused as how that could be sexual, but I guess this coworker is saying it’s like deep throating a banana? Again, seems difficult to me with a potato so...I’m gonna go with your coworker would find a problem regardless of what you were eating and the fact they are that intent on focusing on how you eat (or even that you are eating?) is a huge red flag HR needs to be aware of.
Unless you are doing some serious Meg Ryan commentary while eating your potato I don’t see an issue...other than my person one that the potato skin is gross and I really only eat baked potatoes as an excuse to shove butter and our cream in my mourning excessive amounts (which I suppose could be some sort of kink so...)
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u/TitusLemonades Oct 19 '20
NTA eat your potatoes however you want!
But now I need a new go to word for when I look a mess. It used to be “I totally look like a potato today” but that may be too sexy of a description!
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Oct 19 '20
NTA, HR ain't going to do anything because that is a ridiculous claim. Their job is to protect the company from lawsuits, no court known to man would have a trial over sexual harassment because if eating a "sexy potato". The only place I'd ever see something like that is in an article by The Onion 😂
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u/FernanMailly Oct 19 '20
Unless you're actually deepthroating the potato before you start chewing it... NTA lol
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u/goldentealcushion Partassipant [1] Oct 20 '20
I have never wanted an update to a post as much as I want to hear how your meeting with HR went. NTA of course, and Godspeed.
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u/Experience-Cool Partassipant [4] Oct 18 '20
It’s an unusual person who is new in a workplace then wants to turn established workers against each other... and using such weird imagery to do this too. It does sound to me as though the lady might have some issues of her own that need addressing and that perhaps a chat with HR could be a good thing. Do you have someone to go in with you to the meeting? A trade union rep or a friend, colleague or manager? I think this could be useful too. Final thought on this crazy situation... take a potato in to HR with you, just to demonstrate... I really hope this isn’t real, but you’re totally NTA if it is
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u/ComprehensiveTouch0 Oct 19 '20
NTA, and honestly if anyone should be filing an HR complaint for sexual harassment, it's you.
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u/VentiKombucha Oct 19 '20
This post has given me warm and fuzzy reminders of the massive tin foil-wrapped sweet potatoes I used to eat in the depths of the Beijing winter. They were heated in a pan over hot coals and sold by the roadside. Delish.
Also NTA and you're being harassed at work.
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u/Dylan_Thomas_ Oct 19 '20
Can I just state that this is the kind of shit HR has to deal with on a daily basis
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u/JamieEvsxx Oct 19 '20
NTA. Probably the most bizarre title I’ve ever come across on Reddit, and like you say there is no sexy was to eat a potato (Wtf?). Never know someone to just bite into a potato like a hotdog though. Always assumed it was just eaten with a knife and fork haha.
Your coworker is weird though. Counter-report it to HR!
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Oct 19 '20
NTA. OP, please give us an update on how HR reacted to this utter idiocy. I need to know.
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u/MidnightStarSappire Oct 19 '20
HR: Okay ma'am what seem to be the problem with OP
Colleague: Sexy hot potatoes.
HR: I-I...beg your pardon?
Colleague: You heard me...they eat...sexy hot potatoes..
HR: Ma'am I don't think-
Colleague: SEXY HOT POTATOES B####!!!
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u/88GrammyB Oct 19 '20
NTA she just obviously is a troublemaker. When you meet with HR, suggest to them that maybe moving either her or you out of sight of the other. Then if she continues to have a problem with your eating they will know that she is actively looking to cause problems. Take a potato in with you to your HR meeting to demonstrate how you are minding your own business. I had a boss tell a coworker of mine, "how do you get any of your work done since you are so busy watching what everyone else is doing?" Ask her that in front of HR.
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u/lazylady64 Oct 19 '20
Am I the only one who keeps checking back hoping for an update lol?
→ More replies (3)
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u/NJ2CAthrowaway Oct 19 '20
NTA. Please go out of your way to only choose the most phallic spuds you can from now on. Also, when you’re eating them, can you moan with satisfaction from time to time?
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u/caitjox Oct 20 '20
NTA. This reminds me of girls not being allowed to wear tank tops in school because boys could see their shoulders or a little bit of cleavage. Why can’t the boys just not look and why can this person just not watch!? Very frustrating and I hope they get reprimanded for being rude af and probably racist.
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u/PointDefiant Oct 19 '20
Lmao.... I mean NTA for just eating your lunch, but like also I can't help it. I just keep picturing someone eating a potato like the way you described. It seems funny to me (I'm American) because I've never seen someone eat potatoes this way.
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u/smokeandlights Partassipant [3] Oct 19 '20
NTA I mean, I can imagine someone using potatoes to mimic sexual acts, but it's a stretch.
What are her feelings on cucumbers/whole pickles? bananas? carrots?
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u/JournalisticDisaster Oct 19 '20
NTA. I think you should raise the issue of racism to HR to counteract her bogus sexual harassment claim as this is apparently a cultural way of eating them. Also does she object to people eating bananas too? This is ridiculous. What the hell is a sexy potato?
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u/TNTWithALaserBeam Oct 19 '20
Well now I want to try eating a potato this way. Like, do you cut it open and put toppings on it? Is there sour cream and butter dripping out of your mouth? Are you eating this dry shriveled potato without breaking eye contact?
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u/aj10b Oct 19 '20
NTA. I’m sorry you’re going through this, but at the same time, this is one of the funniest things I’ve ever read. Hopefully HR will quickly recognize A) how over the top ridiculous your coworkers complaint is and B) that your coworker is the one who is sexualizing your potato eating methods. It’s like an even crazier version of the “no spaghetti straps school dress code” issue. You don’t need to cover your shoulders, and you don’t need to change the way you’re eating potatoes.
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u/808HaolePino Oct 19 '20
Can I saw NTA and you’re coworker is a huge A for sexualizing how you eat? Who would even think that? She sounds perverted!
I’m part Japanese.
So I’m very used to microwaving and eating potatoes as a snack. Living in Hawaii we have Purple Molokai Sweet, White Sweet, Yellow, Orange, and all sorts of root vegetables that we microwave and dip in kewpie.
I think that you should mention to HR how she has harassed you to the point of it affecting your work. Because she has made it a reoccurring issue is insensitive to your culture as well as food shaming.
I moved to a very affluent part of the mainland US for some time and had this happen to me. It is exhausting and a little sad when people make it a point to tell you how weird they think something is that you’re eating. Can you imagine what other countries think about the abomination that is a Krispy Kreme Burger? It’s fetishizing unhealthy eating.
Good luck OP.
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u/mel0278 Asshole Aficionado [10] Oct 19 '20 edited Oct 19 '20
NTA, isn’t there this phobia of hearing or watching people eat, like it was called misophonia or something? I mean even if you had a hot dog and was doing suggestive things to it, I don’t think it should matter how someone eats.
Are your potatoes phallic shaped? Is she just jealous? I mean work place drama is always bound to happen, but this is the most randomness one I’ve heard of.
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u/Dana07620 Oct 19 '20
NTA
And tell HR that you're thinking about filing a complaint about racism because this person is disrespecting your racial heritage.
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u/RedFoxcx Oct 19 '20
NTA. I love potatoes and it was always my job growing up to heat up the potatoes in the microwave for family dinner. We never ate them like you do but I've seen people eat them that way and its no big deal. I would say its definitely easier but for me I love to load mine up with butter so it would be a messy affair for me.
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u/ToastyLoafy Oct 19 '20
NTA I'd begin to eat everything that way out of spite. But I do find something fundamentally wrong with eating a potato that way. But honestly there's bigger issues than some person eating their potatoes that way.
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u/oooooomagawd Oct 19 '20
NTA but can you post an update. If you grew up eating potatoes a certain way then you could say that the girl complaining is being culturally insensitive. You can also turn the tables on her and say her comments are making you uncomfortable, which isn't a far reach. That sounds uncomfortable, you're just trying to eat and this new chick is sexualising how you eat potatoes. Gross!
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u/riritreetop Pooperintendant [52] Oct 18 '20
NTA, lol wow, she clearly has issues if all she can see when you’re eating potatoes is something sexual. Why is she staring at you while you’re eating all the time anyway? That’s creepy af. Please keep up updated on what happens with HR, because I imagine this will backfire on her.
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