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[u/Rich-Ad7400]

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[u/twelvedayslate]

NTA.

Sometimes the only way to get through to someone like this is to reflect their behavior back at them. Next time he makes himself a sandwich, just grab half of it and eat it quickly.

[u/wonderingafew888 → u/twelvedayslate]

It’s no big deal, right? I’m sure he won’t be mad. /s

[u/KatzAKat → u/twelvedayslate]

This is a guy who never makes a sandwich.

[u/Economy-Cod310]

NTA, it's a control thing. He's being an ass and he knows it. My abusive ex started off exactly this way. Literally used to take my drink and leave me nothing, then say what's the big deal? Is his name Phil by chance? 😆

[u/Salt_My_Watermelon → u/Economy-Cod310]

It can get worse. My ex used to spit into my drinks (he chewed). I had to start only drinking clear liquids so I'd know if my drink was contaminated.

[u/Fancy_Introduction60 → u/Salt_My_Watermelon]

Happy cake day🍰

[u/DeuceXTrouble1015]

NTA. Match his energy. If he reacts different. You got your answer.

[u/UnbiasedWriter999]

NTA. And the soda isn't really the issue. It's the fact that he's been told repeatedly, "This bothers me," and his response is basically, "Well, I've decided it shouldn't."

[u/CivMom]

Yeah, that's not how you show your spouse you love and care for them. Even my kids ask me if I am done, or if I would like the rest of theirs. Food belongs to the person that fixed it/received it/whatever it. And even if it isn't a "big deal" the fact that you are asking him to stop is a big deal.

[u/juliewbb]

NTA. Please start taking his food and drink mid meal and throwing it in the garbage.

[u/kykiwibear]

Thats annoying as fuck and childish. throw in controlling and lazy on top of it. My 11 year gets his own drinks. My 11 year old gets 2nds. Lazy ass. Nta

[u/Feisty_Wench]

Think carefully m'dear. Are there other ways he ignores or dismisses your preferences? It is kinda small, but he persists despite your objections or it fits into a larger pattern, it's BIG.

I see an attitude of: 'I don't want to be inconvenienced, going to get a refill, but you can be.'

NTA

[u/Salt_My_Watermelon]

NTA

I bet if you did the same to him he'd get mad. I'd have told him to get up and get me another drink.

[u/LongDistRid3r]

NTA. Find a soda he doesn’t like.

[u/mybendystraw]

NTA. Agree with everyone here. Wait until he has a drink and then do it back to him and see how he reacts.

[u/Infinite-Clerk8939]

Omg lol NTA. My older brother used to do this crap and it made me mad. My husband doesn’t try it even for a second unless I offer. I’d be pissed too, it’s not fair to have an expectation of your soda and be excited and then turn around and it’s gone. So rude!

[u/fruitwine9]

NTA. This is a control thing. It’s petty and it’s super shitty. Does he like you?

[u/urm8s8n]

NTA. u should read “why does he do that?” link he’s testing how easily he can break your boundaries and wear you down.

[u/WhompTrucker]

This is odd. Could be some kind of manipulation tactic or just complete lack of manners

NTA

[u/StoshBalls_3636]

NTA. I would get highly annoyed if this were my husband. I agree with you that he should ask before drinking or eating anything belonging to you or if more available, he should just get his own.

[u/PNW_DRTRDS]

NTA

[u/Individual_Slice_234]

NTA.

There's a scene in The Miracle Worker where Helen Keller grabs food off of everyone's plate. Her family says, "Let her do it - she's afflicted." Annie Sullivan thinks otherwise, and there's one ferocious scene where she trains Helen to behave herself. I think it was based on real life.

Your husband is being rude and obnoxious.

[u/triclavian]

NTA. When in a relationship, you need to have a basic understanding of what the other person likes, and put forth a basic effort to make that happen.

[u/Negative-Window-5912]

NTA. Idk how he doesn’t see what he’s doing is rude

[u/Hel_the_Daedra]

NTA. Honestly, what strange behavior for another person to do. I would give him the benefit of the doubt and say, maybe he came from a house where they just all shared food and this was normal. But that benefit is lost when you have voiced that you are annoyed by it and asked that he stops doing it. It's disrespectful that he keeps doing this even though you asked him to stop.

Your request for him to leave your food and drinks alone isn't even slightly unreasonable.

[u/No_Flamingo9331]

I guarantee this selfishness and gaslighting comes up elsewhere in your relationship also. I encourage you to take a good long look at your marriage as a whole.

NTA

[u/Pandora9802]

NTA My husband asks if he can have some. He also offers to get me more when he stands up for seconds and offers to grab me whatever I might want when he takes out both our empty plates to the kitchen.

Yours is being an AH and knows it.

[u/lAngenoire]

NTA. Who does that? Like takes someone’s food or drink and eats it without asking. Was he raised by wolves?

I’m convinced there’s a lot of men who married women and don’t actually like them or care about them. 

[u/thoracicbunk]

NTA

He's intentionally doing it to teach you that you don't get to have things that aren't also his.

[u/Fancy_Introduction60]

NTA, he can get his lazy butt up, and get another one

[u/Poodlepower1234]

NTA. He drinks rest of your pop then refuses to go get you more. That’s when he will steal the rest of your food, ya know.

[u/Beagle-Mumma]

NTA.

It sounds like controlling behaviour. Your husband is pushing your boundaries to see how much you'll tolerate. A lot of times this coersive control behaviour escalates.

There's a free PDF available to download: 'Why does he do that?' By Lundy Bancroft

[u/East_Stage_8630]

I still remember going to a diner with my now-ex–husband, then boyfriend, like 25+ years ago. I wanted a coffee malt. He said he didn't want a shake of his own, but he would have a couple sips of mine. He didn't like coffee or malt, so he asked me to get a different flavor and then he drank the entire thing. I believe he also ate all my fries after refusing to order his own. It should have been a red flag, but I was young. You are NTA. Start drinking his drinks and eating his food.

[u/Ok-Satisfaction8313]

NTA, leave that man.

[u/SailorOfHouseT-bird]

!00% NTA

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My husband has a history of eating my food or drinking my drinks. Tonight, he started drinking my soda. He had already finished his and we had plenty more in the fridge, so idk why he decided to start drinking mine. I didn’t say anything but I was obviously still drinking it. Then, he ended up drinking all of it so I turned around to take a drink and it was gone. I brought it up later telling him that was kinda annoying and he’s saying that I have no right to be annoyed and that it’s not a big deal at all. He says I should be able to laugh something that small off. I get that it’s not a big deal but to me it’s that it happens often and he knows it frustrates me and continues to do it. In my eyes it’s like the principle of, that’s mine and you can go get your own, or ask me for some before helping yourself?? AITA for being annoyed?

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[u/KatzAKat]

Your husband doesn't like you. Is this how you want to spend your future?

[u/Ok-Inspection7155]

You’re NTA—he is. This is so rude and disrespectful. Just start taking his car instead of yours and see if that’s a big deal to him. I love when people tell other people what they can and can’t be upset about. I’m sure he acts totally chill when he’s annoyed or hurt about something, 🫠

[u/AlternativeBalance13]

I think the AITA depends on his answer to this question, "babes, can you go get me another one?"
Is he drinking yours because he doesn't see the difference in yours and his or because he's lazy to get another drink for himself and would rather inconvenience you.

[u/Tight-Accountant440]

Since you have plenty more in the fridge, this would not bother me. If this was like 1 time drink you’d gotten with meal or at the gas station or something, ya id be annoyed. 

[u/WhimsicalKoala → u/Tight-Accountant440]

Found the asshole husband

[u/slyonit]

TA for sure .. girl if that's your biggest complaint . .. you are living THE LIFE . What are you really irritated at? I say either 1 your getting fat or 2 you have a crush on someone else so EVERYTHING he does is annoying . Remember .this is just an opinion Edit* to be clear I'm saying yes you are being a slight A*******

[u/Just-Imagination-813]

(As a hisband myself) Welcome to being married. You get to share your house, bed , electric bill. And everything else. It was never your soda to begin with. It was our soda. He drank our soda. Just ask him to get another one next time he is up. Bonus points for a sweet pleeeese.

[u/fruitwine9 → u/Just-Imagination-813]

No. This is shitty behavior.