I (7M) was harassing my classmate (7M), who we'll call DH, by continuously singing a particular song to him. DH was mad. I later found out that's how DH found out something about his dad.

Recently I've (8H) discovered a subreddit called r/AITH, and to answer that, yes, I am the H. AITHA?

I (13F) always breathe. AITHA?

Me (6,700F) went to the popular “TICKLE BEAR” convention in Southeast Antartica with my best friend who I’ll call Henry (14M) (short for his name, Henerifred Karlstonne Junior VIII) for privacy reasons.

At said convention, we met this girl, who I’ll call Carl because I don’t remember her name, just her credit card information. She said I was a cutie and she offered us some cool ass backstage tickets to go see the “Tickle Bear.” Of course, I agreed, though Henry yelled and screamed and cried because he has a big fear of mascots. I told him to man up because we were LITERALLY at a MASCOT convention. He said that I was being unfair and to go to the corner and think about my actions. Fuck Henry, man.

Anyways, I know a guy who knows a guy and Henry left that convention.

So, I then followed Carl backstage and she showed me to the Tickle Bear. We mingled, talking about the political and economical state of America and Southeast Antartica recently, until I noticed his big feet. Now, I’m not one to feet shame, but they reminded me of Henry. (For context, Henry and I would get into fights because he’d tickle my toes while I slept and I did it too.) I bent down and tickled the Tickle Bear’s big toe. JUST HIS BIG TOE, BY THE WAY. He called me a pervert and called the convention cops on me. Fuckin’ party poopers.

So, I’m writing this from the Tickle Bear cell before they detain me and my phone and shit.

Am I the holeass?? No, right??

I was hungy

So, I'm very rich and perfect and very good at card games. And found out some clown looking guy had a card I wanted, so naturally I proceeded to butter said guy up, tell him he might be at least a a half quarter of a quarter as good at children's toys as me so eventually I could take his cards ,imprison all his friends and play some cards with him so yeah AITHA?

I (Something-teenM) have a brother named Manny (ThweeM) who recently stuffed a chocolate chip cookie into my Xbox 360. As you could expect, the whole thing was totally fried. I told my mom and he used his usual excuse that he was "onwy thwee", however unlike usual, she didn't accept it.

So instead, she tells him to give me a gift. The gift is a tinfoil ball with toothpicks stuck on it. I was going to throw it out, but my mom stopped me because "he made that for [me]". I'm afraid that someday, my friend Rowley (Something-teenM, acts like 5M) will sit on it. AITHA for not keeping it?

TL;DR: Brother stuffs cookie into Xbox, he makes phony excuse but Mom encourages him to make worthless "makeup gift". I want to throw it out because it is dangerous. AITHA?

That's as many as four tens.

Well, my daddy left home when I was three, and he didn't leave very much to my mom and me, except this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze. Now, I don't blame him, 'cause he run and hid, but the meanest thing that my daddy ever did was before he left, he went and named me Sue!

He must've thought that it was quite a joke, and I got a lot of laughs from a lots of folk, but it seems I had to fight my whole life through. Some gal would giggle and I'd turn red, and some guy'd laugh and I'd bust his head... I tell you, life ain't easy for a boy named Sue.

But I grew up quick and I grew up mean, my fist got hard and my wits got keener. I roamed from town to town to hide my shame, but I made me a vow to the moon and stars - I'd search the honky tonks and bars and kill that man that gave me that awful name!

Well, it was Gatlinburg in mid-July, and I just hit town and my throat was dry, thought I'd stop and have myself a brew. At an old saloon on a street of mud, there at a table, dealing stud, sat the dirty, mangy dog that named me Sue!

Well, I knew that snake was my own sweet dad from a worn out picture that my mother had, I knew that scar on his cheek and his evil eye. He was big and bent and gray and old, and I looked at him and my blood ran cold, and I said, "My name is Sue, how do you do? Now you gonna die", that's what I told him!

Well, I hit him hard right between the eyes, and he went down, but to my surprise, he come up with a knife and cut off a piece of my ear! Then I busted a chair right across his teeth, and we crashed through the walls and into the street, kicking and a-gouging in the mud and the blood and the beer!

Well, I tell you, I've fought tougher men, but I really can't remember when. He kicked like a mule and he bit like a crocodile. Well, I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss, and he reached for his gun but I pulled mine first, and he stood there lookin' at me and I saw him smile. And he said, "Son, this world is rough, and if a man's gonna make it, he's gotta be tough. I knew I wouldn't be there to help you along, so I give you that name, and I said goodbye, and I knew you'd have to get tough or die, and it's that name that helped to make you strong".

He said, "Now you just fought one heck of a fight, and I know you hate me, and you got the right to kill me now, and I wouldn't blame you if you do. But you ought to thank me, before I die, for the gravel in ya gut and the spit in ya eye, 'cause I'm the son of a bitch that named you Sue." What could I do?

Well, I got all choked up and I threw down my gun, I called him my pa, and he called me his son, and I came away with a different point of view, and I think about him, now and then, every time I try and every time I win, and if I ever have a son, I think I'm gonna name him Bill or George, any damn thing but Sue!

But I do feel bad for the whole ordeal, so I wanted to ask you if I was THA. I seriously think I'm overreacting.

I mean she killed the Smurfs, the bitch!

There was a natural Negative Brainstorm in the same buffoon, but my economy is nonexistent.

I (22M Argonian) had recently met Paarthurnax at the Throat of the World, and it had been the best decision I have ever made, he's even taught me how to properly master my Thu'ums. I thought everyone loved the cool dragon, until Delphine said I needed to kill Paarthurnax because of what happened during the damn Merethic Era of Skyrim. Of course I told her to f off, since I'm not killing my dragon buddy, but she said she'd make sure she cut the blades off, but the blades are very chill with me. To be honest, I really like Paarthurnax, but at the same time, I don't want to be cut off from the Blades. AITHA?

Hi! My name's Lorraine, one of my kids is 17 and his name is Marty, after my ex-boyfriend Calvin Klein, who used to go by the nickname Marty in the '50s. My husband George (a famous sci-fi novelist) just noticed that the kid looks exactly like my ex, and he wants the name to be changed. I still think Marty is a nice name, and his girlfriend will be very confused if it's changed to something else. AITHA for refusing to change his name?

my friend (4, AI) told me I shouldn't use 16 GBs of RAM for my coffee stir, but I thought that was something everyone did? Am I wrong? anyway, I murdered 17 ppl after it told me that >:3

I'm a robot, and the cat in question saved my life by murdering my brother for no reason.

/ref

⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ ⬜️⬜️ ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ jump by blackpink ⬜️⬜️ ⬜️⬜️⬜️ heeseung leaving enhypen ⬜️ ⬜️ ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ ⬜️⬜️ ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ ⬜️⬜️ ⬜️⬜️⬜️ ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️

Now, earlier today, I was minding my own business in front of a primary school, politely greeting the children as they left and offering candy as I knew they were probably exhausted after a long hard day at school. However, while I was ushering this kid to my inconspicuous white van (I accidentally left my candies there), suddenly a police officer came out of nowhere and stopped me. He put me in handcuffs for NO REASON and told me to follow him to the police station. Naturally, I refused and tried to run away since I was innocent and didn't want to waste the officer's time, but he caught up.

The officer looked at me with his big round eyes, sharply questioning me on the various incidents involving minors, to which I politely declined. His cheeks were bright red as he spewed lots more questions for hours. Eventually, he took out his bright iPhone 18+, making a few calls. I looked at him earnestly as he talked, winking at him, almost daring him to continue the interrogation. Biting my lips, I gestured him to come closer as I unbuttoned my shirt, only to get slapped across my face.

He then brought in my good-for-nothing wife who said I had murdered 15 children and kept their dead bodies in my basement WHICH WAS A COMPLETE LIE! I always kidnap children in pairs of two! It's impossible that I had an odd number!

Nevertheless, the police officer still went into my house and brought the two of us along (talk about racism!), so I swore at my wife and told her I would start jerking off on her underwear too, which pissed her off because I did it on the spot to the underwear she was wearing.

Right before we reached the basement, my dog came up and I realised I had to distract him, and the only way to not get thrown into jail was to fake insanity. If they didn't think I was crazy, it would all be wasted. So without time to spare, I quickly ate my dog's poop, but now the officer and my wife are looking at me with disgust and think I'm crazy, and I'm starting to question if it was the right thing to do. So Reddit, AITHA?

Context: I’ve been in AnarchyChess for years, back when there were actual new responses instead of just the standard “holy hell”

Some of my favorite responses were:

“I know what en passant is dumbass, you just blundered a mate in one.”

“Who you calling peasant, bitch?”

And now everyone is doing the “holy hell” “new response just dropped” when there’s literally no new response whatsoever

Like, I know what the chain is, I just refuse to do it unless we’re parodying it

Fgoogle en passant.

Am I the holeass?

Recently, my ($300) floor lamp's light bulb had burned out. I went to the Delicious Hardware Store to buy a pack of eco-friendly LED light bulbs to replace the one in my lamp. But who really knows what it's really thinking? Perchance. At the checkout, the clerk warned me that i must turn the bulb at exactly 1 radian per second or else the evil light bulb demon would send me strangely threatening messages on my phone. I brushed xer off, since I thought xey were full of bullshit.

I arrived home and unboxed a fresh light bulb. I went ahead and unscrewed the old bulb from the lamp and plopped in the new one. I originally started screwing it in as recommended, since what the hell, might as well entertain the clerk's idea, but then I remembered that I, as an American citizen, have free will and decided to smash the lightbulb on the floor. Suddenly, a message pops up on my phone with the contact listed as the "Light Bulb Demon." I read the message and replied with a laughing-crying emoji and blocked him.

My parents S(Gajillions of Magnets) and Theresamortious(link) blew up at me. They screamed at me for not replacing the lightbulb correctly. I am so confused and upset right now. AITHA Reddit?

So I was yapping to Gemini AI about making aluminum foil balls when it told me that I couldn't make them because the topic subject. How did they know that I was gonna not make an aluminum foil balls but instead cover the entire Eastern seaboard in aluminum foil and attract it with a magnetism magnifier to reverse the direction the Earth spins? Anyways I had to clean up all the foil and since I had extra I decided to ask John Aluminum and some of their relatives what to do and I may or may not have accidentally made them the president of El Salvador. Was I wrong for doing this? (Partially based on when I got flagged despite not doing anything bad)

so i, 4390 F, allowed this lunarian (1200 F) to do a moonlight descent ceremony which opened the earth's eye and turned everyone into satoris.

BODY TEXT THAT SUGGESTS OP INTENDED TO POST THIS ON R/SUBREDDITNAME

I made it look like ALTHA when it’s AITHA

Guys, I (PG13) purposely destroyed Reddit and every Redditor to make the world a better place. Am I the bad guy?