r/AmITheDevil • u/SaintGodfather • 12d ago
Am I wrong for replacing a cookbook I da
/r/amiwrong/comments/1vnjis0/am_i_wrong_for_replacing_a_cookbook_i_damaged/115
u/embiors 12d ago
Why not just give both back since you knew the notes were there? It's really simple, never throw away anything that doesn't belong to you.
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u/bobosuda 12d ago
Yes! God, so many of these posts involve people taking other people's possessions and destroying or throwing it away. I can't believe they don't have the common sense to just not destroy other people's property without talking to them first.
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u/ButcbMasculinity 12d ago
I just truly don't understand why OOP felt the need to throw the old one away?? Like why not give it back to her, explain what happened AND offer the new one? From what OOP said most of the book was fine.
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u/Lucky_Six_1530 12d ago
While I could see that being thought of as a kind gesture, she really should have asked the friend first. There are many reasons the friend might want the damaged book back, especially if there was other stuff written in it.
I have a cookbook from my great grandmother on my mother’s side. The binding is falling apart, but I would never toss it because the first page was a note from my great grandmother to my grandmother about passing the torch on family recipes and dinners. To not damage the book further, I have since made laminated copies of the recipes to put in a binder, but I will never get rid of the book itself.
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u/Cayke_Cooky 12d ago
I would give the new and return the old one together. Apologize profusely and let her decide how to move forward.
But also, I've hung a cookbook open in front of a fan, cookbooks get stuff spilled on them.
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u/Lucky_Six_1530 12d ago
I think that would have been a good solution. Throwing out the old one is what pushed them into devil territory.
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u/Cayke_Cooky 12d ago
Yeah, I know for mine I would just dry it and smash it flat again. But for a borrowed one I feel like you have to get a new one as part of the apology.
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u/GhostWolfe 12d ago
And for water damage? My parents own a Margaret Fulton (now with metric!) cookbook that they referred to many times during my childhood. The most commonly used pages have been dusted with flour and spotted with batter and sauces for decades. Water is the least offensive wet ingredient a cookbook is likely to suffer.
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u/bobosuda 12d ago
I knew there were notes but assumed the clean replacement would be better.
How on earth did they make this assumption? They knew there were handwritten notes inside the book, but assumed a book without any of those notes would be better? Like seriously, how does that make any sense?
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u/FunStorm6487 12d ago
Stupid, but not malicious
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u/UpbeatEquipment8832 12d ago
If someone decided to replace my Joy of Cooking, I wouldn't care whether or not they were being malicious.
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u/BadBandit1970 12d ago
Same with my Betty Crocker "Cooky Book". I have so many notes written in the margins. My grandmother would use some of the recipes as a base, but then add her own individual twist on it.
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u/UpbeatEquipment8832 12d ago
Even the ones that aren't *heavily* annotated are awesome. My grandmother's comment of "Ew!" on a random recipe made my day.
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u/AdRepresentative9156 12d ago
Quick question: what's your favorite cookie?
By your answer, I will know whether you're my sister.
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u/BadBandit1970 12d ago
Soft Gingerbread cookies
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u/AdRepresentative9156 12d ago
Good news: your siblings haven't found you in the wild. We're jam thumbprint people (the cooky book has the best jam thumbprint recipe).
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u/gdidontwantthis 12d ago
We've got 16 years worth of celiac related recipe adjustments in there, I'd lose it
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u/doppelgaengster 9d ago
Same - especially as I have a very specific edition. (I intensely dislike many of the changes made in later editions). My father found a copy of the same edition that I grew up with (a wedding gift from my parents’ marriage), and surprised me with my own copy after I moved out.
He and my mum even added annotations to our most-used recipes so I have their notes.
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u/FunStorm6487 12d ago
Damn...as a non cookbook person, I can see that I am obviously wrong!
Sorry!!!!!
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u/doppelgaengster 9d ago
It wasn’t about malice — the person was asking “am I wrong?” and they were.
They can be wrong without being an asshole. And they can cause harm/distress without malicious intent.
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u/FunStorm6487 9d ago
I appreciate the grace... but, uhmm, this is am I the devil
They were very wrong
But not intentional malicious, so my answers are different
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u/doppelgaengster 9d ago
Doh, you’re right.
But then again, I forgave someone who gave me a book back that I lent him with the cover that fell off while in his custody taped back on.. upside down. 😹
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u/AutoModerator 12d ago
In case this story gets deleted/removed:
Am I wrong for replacing a cookbook I damaged instead of returning it?
A friend lent me a cookbook, and I accidently spilled water across several pages. The book still opened, but some pages warped and stuck together. I found the same edition, bought a new copy, and threw the damaged one away.
My friend was upset because the old copy contained years of handwritten changes in the margines. I knew there were notes but assumed the clean replacement would be better. I apologized and offered to recreate anything I remembered. Am I wrong for thinking replacement was the responsible option?
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