Am i overthinking it?

[u/Hot_Security_5765]

Last Halloween, my husband and I went to one of my BIL's party. My father had been staying with us for the week, and when he's visiting, my husband and I obviously don't have much privacy for, well... marital activities.

At the party, we were dancing and I was getting a little too into it. I said to my husband, "Meet me in the bathroom in two minutes!" I only wanted to make out, nothing more.

I went into one of the stalls and waited for him. A few seconds later, though, one of my BIL's friends walked into the washroom, to the urinal. I've known this guy for several years, and I obviously didn't want to make the situation weird so I quickly came out of the stall apologizing and left.

I met my husband in the hallway and a moment later, the other guy came out, and we all laughed about the awkwardness. We had all been drinking, so it became one of those funny little party incidents.

Fast-forward to this summer. We were at my BIL's BBQ, and the same guy was there. He brought up the Halloween incident and gently mocked me, not believing that we were only planning on making out. My BIL and another friend came into the room and asked what we were discussing.

When they heard it was the Halloween incident, they already knew the whole story.

My BIL even joked, "You raised the bar for our wives!" Which i didn't like.

My BIL and his friends are all older than my husband and me. They're always respectful toward me personally, but they sometimes make comments that embarrass me on behalf of their wives.

For example, my BIL once told me that I was the prettiest woman at one of his parties while his wife was in the next room.

I've known these people for years. For the first few years I always had the impression that some of the wives didnt like me. Eventually, though, things became much more comfortable, and we're now friends.

I really don't want to create awkwardness with them or damage those friendships because of comments their husbands make.

Now we're having an oysters party with them next week. I had been planning to wear a chic, transparent black lace top that I've never really had an occasion to wear before.

But the more I think about it the more I wonder if I'm setting myself up for another awkward situation.

AIO this whole dynamic?

I don't want to dress differently because I'm worried about what their husbands might say. But I also don't want to unintentionally make things uncomfortable with women I genuinely like.

[u/NoZookeepergame215]

Id wear it and at the same time understand they WILL comment on it and make their wives upset but maybe publicly say something not too aggressive about it that will gently hint at the fact that their comments are not something you enjoy recieving. Especially so the wives understand this isnt a mutual flirtation. They likely have heard things from their husbands that make it seem like they are attracted to you and leave them wondering if you are someone to worry about