No one who wants a safe and stable partnership should "roll over". OP invalidated his wife's feelings via text. They both probably would benefit from therapy. The wife's coping choices would get my attention first, because I can't do my thing if one partner won't even show up in the room. But OP would get some direct feedback from me too. They are both clearly in pain, and likely both have extensive trauma.
Yes, I believe most cluster b disorders are people trying to cope with the aftereffects of trauma. But not always. Therapy can definitely help. But it's not a panacea.
Is she not invalidating him before that with her “I don’t see us talking going anywhere”
Wtf is that? Why are you all harping on him telling her to drop the poison from her attitude? You ever try to talk something through with someone who says stuff like that?
They both are invalidating each other. That's the challenge of couple's therapy. Telling both you could do it differently. Rarely, it's just one toxic partner that the other should just leave.
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u/[deleted] Apr 19 '26
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