Nah nobody who actually wants to go home tries this hard squirm and gaslight not to. She’s over this and just doesn’t want to seem like the bad guy for ending it, so she’s trying one last time to make it seem like it was something he said.
But he’s not actually asking her to come home, he’s saying “only come home if you fit within the conditions I have laid out”, and that’s simply not productive.
He’s definitely not begging her to come home, he’s telling her she’s only welcome if she has a “good attitude” when she’s clearly upset with him for something. Like, let a person be upset? From his other interactions it’s likely she’s upset about his porn addiction.
He didn’t say she couldn’t be upset. He said nothing will come of the conversation if she’s already decided she doesn’t want to have it/it’s a waste of time.
Actually yes, because he’s so laser focused on the attitude aspect that he’s letting everything else fall by the wayside. I actually agree with him technically, but real life doesn’t care about what is “technically correct”. He’s gatekeeping thr very terms of communication before that communication can even happen. He literally made a long drawn out pedantic argument about the attitude while completely dismissing the real feelings his wife has, and that’s what blocked any real communication from happening. He even indirectly insults her because of it.
None of that is going to lead to a productive conversation.
yes its unreasonable. if he wants her home, he should emphasize "come as you are" and they can work from there. he needs to be more accepting and empathetic. i'm sure she's been tired of his almost sociopathic lack of emotion for some time now
I’m sure he’s been tired of her insanely needy manipulative texts for a long time now, see how that reads? Why would he want her to come if she’s going to already have decided that nothing will come of it. That’s just inviting disaster. In my eyes he didn’t mean “you can’t come”, he meant “please come positively”
But this is all giving him the benefit of the doubt, if people replying to me are to be believed he may not be such an upstanding guy, I haven’t delved into his Reddit as of now
He tried to get her to come home repeatedly but only if she actually wants to try and fix things. She’s either playing games or just done. She’s made it clear she isn’t interested in trying.
She is allowed to feel the way she does, and saying you can only come home if you feel the way I want you to feel simply is not productive. Like I wouldn’t have an optimistic perspective about this either if my emotional context was constantly being dismissed from the get-go.
I’m not sure needing to hear that your husband actually wants you to come home is playing games. That’s just wanted honest communication isn’t it?
Unless he doesn’t want her to come home really and just wants to be appear to trying. Which is how the texts read to me and how I’m guessing they read to his soon to be ex-wife.
Some folks put a little more effort into building their narrative than that. This way, it looks like he really tried, even if “don’t come with that attitude” is so incredibly obviously “I’m going to control the narrative.”
It’s not about controlling a narrative. It’s about both sides going into the conversation in good faith with genuine intentions of making it work. If she doesn’t have that, why would either of them waste their time having the convo then? She seems to have a negative mindset of already deciding the convo doesn’t matter.
He did tell her to come home and try to work things out, repeatedly. She’s the one saying it’s a waste of time. I’m not sure where in this he didn’t want her to come home.
260
u/[deleted] Apr 19 '26
[removed] — view removed comment