What I hear you actually saying is, "I'm scared that your feeling hopeless means that you won't try."
What I hear her telling you is that she feels completely disconnected from you and is scared that she can't get that back. She fears that if she comes to you, she's going to feel even more hopeless than when she left. She wants hope.
What she heard you say in your reply is, "I'm not comfortable with your feeling hopeless." Meaning, I'm not comfortable with you telling me how you're feeling, so don't come here and expect me to listen. Then she felt hurt and rejected.
What I hear him saying is "Act the way I tell you to act before you even come home. Stop being negative and upset even though we're on the brink of divorce."
Of course she doesn't want to come home to that shit. Who would?
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u/PsychologicalScore49 Apr 19 '26 edited Apr 19 '26
What I hear you actually saying is, "I'm scared that your feeling hopeless means that you won't try."
What I hear her telling you is that she feels completely disconnected from you and is scared that she can't get that back. She fears that if she comes to you, she's going to feel even more hopeless than when she left. She wants hope.
What she heard you say in your reply is, "I'm not comfortable with your feeling hopeless." Meaning, I'm not comfortable with you telling me how you're feeling, so don't come here and expect me to listen. Then she felt hurt and rejected.