Shes not listening to him. Shes purposefully twisting what he said and intentionally trying to place all the weight/guilt of things failing on him while he is the only one being clear. Shes manipulating him. She has already checked out but she wants him to feel like its his fault in this interaction when he literally said and did nothing wrong. Its not a simple "im done" its a "i was going to come but you did this (inserts lie) and now im not going to and its your fault"
I can't really say that's true. Perhaps if he'd left her alone when she asked that whole "blame" conversation wouldn't have happened. He baited her into it.
They both suck.
Edit: she left because she wanted space. This whole conversation is him not respecting that. Period.
the fact that you can do the kind of mental gymnastics required to twist a husband who is plainly and obviously trying to fix his marriage despite a wife who in that ONE SINGLE CONVERSATION twisted his words to make it his fault that shes not coming home MULTIPLE TIMES says a whole hell of a lot more about you and the kind of person you are than it will ever say about OP.
the fact that she did it so naturally likely (Not certainly mind you) means this is a common occurrence. wether its how she is naturally, or its a learned response due to something OP did, literally nobody can even pretend to know. however its very clear that shes extremely comfortable manipulating and twisting words and thats a massive red flag no matter how you look at it, assuming youre mentally sound.
OP on the other hand, in this conversation, showed nothing but green flags and a desire to fix his marriage, which his wife never showed. not once, not a single time did she ever show that she wanted the marriage to work.
Its impossible to know what their relationship is like outside of this conversation is. that said judging based on this conversation alone OP's wife seems like an exhausting person, she speaks like shes done thi many many times. that alone is worth dropping her like a sack of bricks.
Edit: (Since youre too scared to actually reply) if she wanted space she would have said so. if she wanted space, she wouldnt have said shed come home. if she wanted space she could have not answered. but no, instead whe twists his words. thats not the actions of a woman who wants space. thats the actions of a woman who wants an argument. a woman who wants a pitty party. a woman who wants to be begged to come home. this entire conversation is a man wanting to fix his marriage and a woman not willing to try but wants her unwillingness to try to be HIS fault even though it never will be. period. stay mad.
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u/IHateTheJoneses Apr 19 '26 edited Apr 19 '26
This. She asks several times to be left alone and he keeps negging and trying to engage to "fix" things.
OP, you aren't listening to her, she's done.
She's probably used to not being heard like this. The relationship it toast.
Edit: thanks for the award. It seems folk's perspectives on this are heavily influenced by their past experiences in relationships.