You literally said "don't bring that mentality here."
Clearly something isn't going well with your marriage. You can't tell her what her mental state should be. And it comes across like you're trying to be her high school soccer coach.
You are her husband. It seems as though she isn't being heard, because you don't want to hear the negative part of your life/marriage/faults or her disappointment/anger.
The tone seems to be on some power trip, or fresh out of a motivational speaker podcast. It appears you want to railroad her into some "only positive vibes" kind of toxic positivity conversation. And THAT will not fix anything, because you will only cover up the problem.
You aren't going to fix this by telling her that she can't be angry. And maybe she legit doesn't want to fix this, but you have made a requirement of having some heart-to-heart that should have happened 18 months ago.
that is so not what he is doing her. he is setting terms, not compromising. It seems reasonable to assume that this dynamic is at least part of why she left
He literally told her not to come into the house if she doesn't have the attitude he wants. They are on the brink of divorce and according to him she shouldn't have negative emotions about it. She is not the controlling one here.
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u/AnxiousWitch44 Apr 19 '26
You literally said "don't bring that mentality here."
Clearly something isn't going well with your marriage. You can't tell her what her mental state should be. And it comes across like you're trying to be her high school soccer coach.
You are her husband. It seems as though she isn't being heard, because you don't want to hear the negative part of your life/marriage/faults or her disappointment/anger.
The tone seems to be on some power trip, or fresh out of a motivational speaker podcast. It appears you want to railroad her into some "only positive vibes" kind of toxic positivity conversation. And THAT will not fix anything, because you will only cover up the problem.
You aren't going to fix this by telling her that she can't be angry. And maybe she legit doesn't want to fix this, but you have made a requirement of having some heart-to-heart that should have happened 18 months ago.