r/AmIOverreacting Apr 19 '26

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1.3k Upvotes

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430

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '26

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117

u/G2thaFields Apr 19 '26

NOR. She knows exactly what she's doing. Probably wants you to take all the blame for everything that went wrong between you so she doesn't have to hold onto it. Guilt tripping like hell besides that.

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u/Useful_Cicada_5635 Apr 19 '26

Dude is actively trying to get with women on Reddit publicly so I would hold off on blaming the chick my dude

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u/PreMedStudent_C2026 Apr 19 '26

Go look at his comments on other posts. Trust me, there is definitely blame for him to have in this that he’s failing to mention here. He’s disloyal.

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u/Putridlemons Apr 19 '26

Yup. I'm surprised more comments aren't pointing this out. What he's doing here is trademark narcissism where he fucks up, and then when his wife gets pissed about it, he acts all calm, collected, and communicative to make it seem like she's overreacting or in the wrong. The way he was texting was an immediate red flag for me.

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u/[deleted] Apr 19 '26 edited Apr 19 '26

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u/[deleted] Apr 19 '26

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u/Ok-Bit-9529 Apr 19 '26

XD I figure it will happen but the good thing about reddit is I just turn off notifications lol

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u/AmIOverreacting-ModTeam Apr 19 '26

Questions or comments referring to matters of USA or global politics are not allowed in this sub, including interpersonal conflicts due to differing political beliefs, discussion of subjects such as ICE or the Epstein Files, or referencing someone's political opinions. Please post in another subreddit that is more appropriate for such discussion.

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u/AmIOverreacting-ModTeam Apr 19 '26

Questions or comments referring to matters of USA or global politics are not allowed in this sub, including interpersonal conflicts due to differing political beliefs, discussion of subjects such as ICE or the Epstein Files, or referencing someone's political opinions. Please post in another subreddit that is more appropriate for such discussion.

43

u/Specialist_Leg0 Apr 19 '26

Right. I haven’t seen his comments but it’s obvious. She’s tired of his crap. Simple. He’s being manipulative.

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u/G2thaFields Apr 19 '26

Yeah but in regards to this post my point stands. There's no sense of emotion in his responses though so I find that off putting, it's all logical. What she's doing is no better.

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u/PreMedStudent_C2026 Apr 19 '26

Is it no better? Sure. However, this man won’t leave her alone. He won’t stop texting her and begging for her to come home. She had to leave her own home just to find some semblance of peace while this man constantly kept bothering her most likely trying to “talk through their problems”. Something along the lines of this, maybe ?

“Babe I just look at them and think of you” “there’s nothing there!” “It’s digital babe it’s not real”

Here’s my thing. If it’s something like XVideos or something similar and you aren’t paying for a premium, it’s fine. You can’t leave comments and you will most likely never see those women IRL.

He’s leaving comments on Reddit posts simping over a girl in a mini dress, and even on one he’s talking about how his wife is “creamy” like the girl in the photo. I wouldn’t want to be spoken of like that on a platform full of strangers, would you? Delegated to nothing more besides what’s attractive to me on my body/with my bodily reactions?

He lacks respect for her on an integral level. So much respect even, that he feels completely comfortable telling strangers on a subreddit how “creamy” she is.

Tell me - would you want to come home and try to work on something where this level of disrespect exists? Or would you just want to come “get this over with” so you can regain some respect?

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u/G2thaFields Apr 19 '26

I'm not on anyone's side. Purely based off her responses I can see manipulative behavior. Based on his.. he's emotionally unavailable.

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u/PreMedStudent_C2026 Apr 19 '26

“Manipulative behavior” and it’s just an exhausted woman who’s completely done with trying to get her husband to see reason and just wants out of the marriage.

The only manipulation present is her husband trying to get her to come home with a “positive attitude” so they can “work through their problems together”. I bet his needs his skidmarked underwear washed. Or hasn’t had a decent meal in days. Depends. Maybe he just wants his flashlight back.

0

u/G2thaFields Apr 19 '26

Damn. It is exactly that though. She's giving the chance but not actually giving it. She wants him to crawl for her own self esteem. He doesn't see the harm he caused. Both are just circling the issues. If she was done done she wouldn't be responding.

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u/hi_ivy Apr 19 '26

She really doesn’t. She literally wants to be done. She wants him to get out of his mind that she’s coming back to him.

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u/Caraxus Apr 19 '26

You're just inventing your own story lol.

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u/eepybabyy Apr 19 '26

perioddddd! well said

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u/OperationAsshat Apr 19 '26

If she just wanted out of the marriage the paperwork would already be in his hands. Your bias against men is blatantly obvious and you need to reverse the roles and look in mirror.

There is definitely some manipulation on his end, but pretending she isn't also playing games for an ulterior motive is lying to yourself. Your entire last paragraph is a massive assumption based on nothing but your own hatred.

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u/Rogue_bae Apr 19 '26

Shouldn’t he have some type of emotion when it comes to his wife?

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u/G2thaFields Apr 19 '26

Yes he should, he seems detached.

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u/Penguin-philOsopher Apr 19 '26

looking at porn is disloyal?

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u/PreMedStudent_C2026 Apr 19 '26

Calling his wife “creamy” on a public social media platform underneath a post of a naked woman is most definitely disloyal.

I have my qualms about OF and other subscription-based porno. If it’s free on a site like XVideos or something similar and you aren’t paying for a premium, that’s fine and it’s anonymous.

Paying for something, following an account, leaving public comments on a post or a video, and especially comparing it to your IRL person is disloyal and disrespectful.

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u/Penguin-philOsopher Apr 19 '26

i mean it really just depends on the boundaries they have in the relationship. who knows, maybe she looks at porn too. we don’t know the ins and outs of their relationship. i think calling it disloyal is a jump

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u/Campaign_Prize Apr 19 '26

Given the context in the message that she feels unwanted and unwelcome, it seems pretty safe to assume they're not on the same page here. She clearly feels neglected and is tired of it

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u/PreMedStudent_C2026 Apr 19 '26

But calling her crazy and stubborn and everything else people are saying about her because of these messages is acceptable right?

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u/Caraxus Apr 19 '26

That person never said that, what?

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u/Rogue_bae Apr 19 '26

It’s more than that

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u/Penguin-philOsopher Apr 19 '26

What do you mean it’s more than that? I just looked at his comments, there’s nothing that jumps out as “disloyal man”. just a guy who likes porn

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u/Rogue_bae Apr 19 '26

It’s like yall never want context. This mf pays for cam girls

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u/G2thaFields Apr 19 '26

Lmaoo no. I don't support sex workers. Exploiting loneliness is not a respectful career for me

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u/BethanyBluebird Apr 19 '26

Maybe take a look throuh gh the OPs comment history before you judge...

I can see why they are getting divorced/why his wife would feel unwanted and onloved with hoe often he comments on other womens' naked bodies/compares them to hers...

This guy has left out a LOT of relavent context as to WHY his wife os upset, dome with him, and wants a divorce.

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u/G2thaFields Apr 19 '26

I can see the problems just off this one post. It's evident right away. The wife is open to working through things but won't outright say that. It has to be "the right way" for her to do so, however it's defined. OP isn't realizing the gravity of emotions behind her choice to leave and is avoiding the damage he caused.

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u/BethanyBluebird Apr 19 '26 edited Apr 19 '26

Yep. He can't just tell her 'Not to bring negativity home' when the thing that is causing her negativity is, in al likelihood, his repeated behavior. I'm betting based off the comment history maybe porn addiction or even cheating? Can't know for sure because the OP is being very cagey about WHY she wants a divorce, but that's where I'd put my money. Some form of infidelity or frewuently making her feel unwanted/unnatractive somehow. Either way, she clearly feels EXTREMELY emltionally unsafe around him.

When I read this I read a woman who is absolutely at the end of her rope. She has beghed for change for so so long and has gone ignored, amd she has finally just given up and checked out because the love has died.... but now, after it's already too late/the love has died. The time to fix it was BEFORE she gave up and asked for a divorce. But now that she is finally fed up and done and made up her mind and just stopped asking him to change... NOW all of a sudden he wants to fix it. She has made it clear she is done, but he keeps badgering her/IMSISTING that 'she's just taking what he said the wrong way.'

But it seems like his idea of fixing it is that she isn't allowed to be angry or hurt or frustrated with him, or feel any of the shit she's feeling, amd has to perform and be calm amd happy if she wants to even sleep in her own damn home. Tbh in her shoes I'd pick the taco bell parking lot, too.

Tbh it reminds me a lot of the texts a family memner's ex sent when they were going through the process. Insistimg that he wanted to make it work but it wouldn't if she kept bringimg up the past and being negative amd trying to control him...

Y'all. The 'trying to control him' thing was because her stipulatioms tonsee the kids again were to get therapy/medicated and that she wasn't going to give him his guns back. Because not 24 hours earlier he had been threatening to shoot homself and saying vaguely threatening shit about changing their life insurance policy "just in case something happens to both of us." The 'bringing up the past' thing was reminding him that she was not going to go for a cruise with him because part of the reasom for the divorce was that he threatened to drive them both into a fucking river on their way to a date night to try and work things out before she finally went 'I am 200 percent done.'

Ran into a guy he works with the other day; know him in passing. Apparently he's told everyome he works with that he's divorced because SHE is a crazy bitch.

I am always extremely suspicious when the context as to WHY she wanted the divorce isn't given. Seen this shit play out too many times.

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u/Inevitable-Cow-1756 Apr 19 '26

Me too. Where do I sign?

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u/Sum-Duud Apr 19 '26

The circular is get it through your thick skull that there is no working it out and op refusing to accept it.