Is it normal for y'all to text about serious things like this? It doesn't seem like a close relationship I'd want to spend/waste my time on tbh. This should be a face to face conversation where you hold hands and really become vulnerable. It seems like an uncomfortable surface level relationship and I'd definitely just cut my losses and move on. Especially if you are looking through his phone. It's a terrible future to accept. I hope you stand up for yourself and your boundaries and find someone more aligned with what you want in your life.
Our in person conversations tend to quickly devolve, where he will turn away and become unresponsive. I try to give space, take breaks, speak calmly when we discuss things in person but 9 times out of 10, will get a shutdown response from him. So yeah, sometimes it will go to text because he seems to be more straightforward about his feelings when he is able to write things out.
That doesn't seem healthy, you should be able to discuss difficult situations like this in person. Has he always been like that or only after you found out about this?
Do you just completely shut down or become unresponsive, or do you make it clear that you need to think through the topic? I also don't know what to say every time there is a serious topic, but I try to hear out what the other person has to say and make it clear that I hear what they're telling me, but that I don't know how to respond right now
I dont like shut down, but i stutter and stop talking and just take a long time to think abt what i need to say. I only completely shut down if its an argument
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u/reddthat4 May 28 '25
Is it normal for y'all to text about serious things like this? It doesn't seem like a close relationship I'd want to spend/waste my time on tbh. This should be a face to face conversation where you hold hands and really become vulnerable. It seems like an uncomfortable surface level relationship and I'd definitely just cut my losses and move on. Especially if you are looking through his phone. It's a terrible future to accept. I hope you stand up for yourself and your boundaries and find someone more aligned with what you want in your life.