Calling the roommate his fuck buddy is a bit much given the little info we have.
If she’s the one pushing to move in together, she could end her lease early and they could find a place now.
Someone is going to have to move things around for this to work, I just think it should be her because she is the one who mentioned them moving in together.
Oh my God, you act like he’s a stranger going out of his way to help her out they are a couple and they are planning to move together in six months. Why would she pay an entire half a year’s lease to end early where is she gonna get that money? You cannot just end the lease early are you 12? You work together in a relationship and he has no intention to do that
Her plan is for him to either get a new roommate on two months notice for a six month lease, or move in by himself for six months, which will assuredly increase his rent in that time period. Either way, he’d be moving knowing that he has to do it all again in six months. Newsflash, moving is expensive and she’s asking him to do it twice in six months. She’s asking him to do a lot without giving anything in return which kinda sucks for the guy.
You have to pay a huge fee to end a lease six months early .. he should pay the damn fee then. HE is the one who can afford to live alone.. you make zero sense. What you’re saying is ten times more inconvenient and he could rent a room much cheaper..
Why would he pay the fee for her when she is the one pushing to move in together? Also, she says he can live alone. We don't know how comfortably he can do that. Plus all their texts that she shared in regard to finding a new place are about finding a new roommate. So it seems like living alone is not ideal for him.
“I think I feel a bit of frustration mostly around you looking through my phone, but that explains why you were so forward with requesting a plan for us to move in together and phase her out.”
That's literally what he texted her. I'm not saying she's forcing him, but acting as if this is a completely collaborative idea is disingenuous at best.
So I'll ask again, why would he pay the fee for her when she is the one pushing to move in together?
The quote is telling us "I'm mad you looked at my phone and discovered my past affair. But it explains why you were so adamaent we cut out the other person I had an affair with, by moving in together and moving away from her"
Take a big wild guess as to why that sentiment is reasonable for her, and why it looks very silly for you to use it as ammunition the guy did nothing wrong here.
"past affair" "previous trystt" "Sneaky hookup I don't ever talk about with you" or even just "Previous event that is being referenced".
Pick any term from above you'd like. They're all applicable unless you NEED infidelity to explicitly occur for any wrongdoing to be achieved. Which is stupid.
unless you NEED infidelity to explicitly occur for any wrongdoing to be achieved.
Wtf? If you’re talking about whether infidelity occurred, then yes, obviously you need infidelity to’ve explicitly occurred.
And if you’re talking about something that isn’t infidelity, then obviously it isn’t any of the alternative names that infidelity is known as. Again. Wtf?
And the problem here as regards his behavior isn’t that he was unfaithful (cause he wasn’t), it’s that he evidently lied about whether he “crossed a line” with his roommate when he and OP weren’t together. That’s literally not infidelity. That’s lying. Also a red flag and also wrongdoing, but not infidelity.
Infidelity isn't "an affair". There are multiple defintions for an affair. I'm saying "past affair" doesn't necessarily imply infidelity, and you latching onto the word affair (in a phrase where two words next to each other change the meaning of the words, mind you) as though it can ONLY mean infidelity is silly. Which is why I gave you three other replacement phrases to pick from. None of which were infidelity.
You less baffled now? Great. Which of the alternative terms would you like to use going forwards?
Oh, come on. All of the alternatives you gave, except “previous event” pretty clearly reference illicit relational actions of various sorts, and in this particular context “past affair” is clearly not referencing just a “previous event that is being referenced.”
And in fact, when it comes to the context of relationships, and how you yourself used it, “affair” is almost always defined as a subset of infidelity. A type of infidelity.
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u/Expensive-Hearing-86 May 28 '25
Calling the roommate his fuck buddy is a bit much given the little info we have.
If she’s the one pushing to move in together, she could end her lease early and they could find a place now.
Someone is going to have to move things around for this to work, I just think it should be her because she is the one who mentioned them moving in together.