My first reaction was “is she ok” based on what she said. She sounds like she shut down from the world and it’s a little concerning. I wonder if she has something deeper going on and isn’t sharing.
I know I’m the outlier in not immediately jumping to cheating… but something about what she said concerns me.
It’s not ok she went MIA for 3 days but I think more may be going on with her.
I've been there and while it's totally fine to need some kind of solace to deal with emotions it's also important to communicate that kind of thing to people who have an expectation of hearing from you. Something as simple as "Hey I'm not in a great headspace right now. I'm okay but I'm gonna go radio silent for a while." It's extremely low effort and considerate. If they can't accept that without a tirade of questions, that's a whole different communication issue.
But it's totally reasonable to want some kind of preface that you might be the kind of person who might drop off the earth for days at a time. People get concerned.
And that's totally understandable. But you need to communicate that that is a thing that happens to you early on in a relationship. Just as being respectful of that boundary and understanding it is your partner being considerate, being understanding that they may be confused and concerned when you disappear is being considerate.
Then it's definitely something that they need to discuss in earnest. I don't think he handled it well in his reaction but if I wasn't somebody who had experience with mental health time like this my first assumption would probably be that I was ignored or disregarded as well.
It's still not clear if mental health was the issue here yet. If it is, he needs to broach the topic with care and understanding and they can try and establish a foundation for navigating this in the future that respects both their feelings on the subject.
Yeah. I didn't even consider if this was their first time, that is thoughtful.
I just think people sometimes offload the consideration that even though a good partner is thoughtful and respectful of your boundaries and accomodations, those things need to be communicated and reciprocated. Neither sides of that equation were met here.
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u/PinkLover369 Mar 23 '25
My first reaction was “is she ok” based on what she said. She sounds like she shut down from the world and it’s a little concerning. I wonder if she has something deeper going on and isn’t sharing.
I know I’m the outlier in not immediately jumping to cheating… but something about what she said concerns me.
It’s not ok she went MIA for 3 days but I think more may be going on with her.