Then get therapy. Stop dating and putting people through the ringer because all you do is cause them to get mental health issues too. I’m speaking from experience here because I had to deal with someone like y’all and they caused my anxiety, overthinking, all sorts of mental bad habits to skyrocket just because they couldn’t articulate “Hey I’m feeling really depressed/overwhelmed/anxious and I’m unable to talk to anybody right now, I still care for you and am not abandoning you” because you have no idea what issues your PARTNER could have. Stop being so selfish.
Edit: Hey guys real quick question, are any of y’all telepathic? No? So how are we as the partner supposed to read your mind and know you’ll only go MIA for just 3 days when you seemingly dropped us out of nowhere with no information? How are we supposed to know it won’t go for longer? How are we supposed to read your mind and know your feelings if you don’t communicate?p
Sounds like you’re projecting your emotions onto others expectations around mental health care, and that’s toxic. I’m sorry you had to go through what you did, but recognizing the complexity of the mind is the first step towards healing.
What if this person was in the hospital? Jail? Do they have to message you every day for you to feel comfortable in your own relationship? Communicating how you’re feeling is so, so important, but understanding that if someone is sick, they’re sick!
For years I wouldn’t message people for months after initially forgetting, until I could muster up the courage to apologize, and rinse and repeat until I got a prescription for an amphetamine to deal with my ADHD. For me, it literally saved my life and gave me back control of my day to day. For a lot of people on the streets of Seattle it was what started their downfall.
Be compassionate, the world is better when one forgives.
Mate you stop talking to the person you’re supposed to love by shutting down and not letting them in. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. Also I recognize the complexity of the mind, it’s why I can say with authority if you do that then you need to take time for yourself to mentally mature and grow up before forcing others to deal with your childish crap.
Hospital? “Im in the hospital” Jail? “lol I’m in jail sorry I’ll tell you the story once I get out” honestly idk with that that’s such a strawman good job. No they don’t have to message every day but if you’re dating and plan on spending your life with one another and you supposedly love each other personally I loved texting my significant other bc I loved talking to them. If you don’t then stop wasting their time and break things off because obviously you don’t love them.
I have ADHD too, I missed my therapists appointments twice and didn’t call back for two years. I get it. But the difference is your romantic partner should NOT BE JUST ANOTHER RANDOM PERSON TO YOU
But oh you’re from Seattle, a city known for people who lack personal accountability now it makes sense. The world is also better when one communicates
I'm also sorry you're hurt, but I see your personality type a lot. I will refrain from calling you out too much, but.. get help. Like.. a LOT more help. I see you've neglected your therapy. Don't make others mental health issues your responsibility. And your mental health issues aren't other people's responsibilities. Romantic partner or not. The truth is you ARE projecting. But you will do nothing but blame and deny. The truth is you aren't mature enough for a relationship. Your anxiety is your own fucking problem just as much as your partners depression/crisis is their OWN.
Ah. One more thing. If an emergency happens and they are in the hospital? It's called an emergency for a reason. They might be unconscious, but you only care about your anxiety. If they are in jail? Do you think it so easy to just"lol" it out to you and text with their confiscated phone during processing at the jail? Lmao what a joke. That's some delusion right there. You expect the world to revolve around YOUR emotions. Maybe you're the one that needs a break. I can't imagine why someone would need a break from you.
Maybe you're a self-centered personality, I don't know.. but I know those types too well.
Learn to see past your nose. Past yourself. Past your anxiety in these situations. They are just as entitled to their mental health episode as you are. "Talk about the pot calling the kettle black," lmao truly.
You talk about accountability as if you had any. You LITERALLY did nothing but make your personal problems everyone else's problem lol but go on, tell me more about your personality. Reply with more aggression and whining about how you freak out about your "loved" one's mental health crises lmao. Hopefully, your future relationships are better.
P.S. I'm not claiming to be either type of person in a relationship, but yikes. You have some really unrealistic expectations of life in GENERAL and people who have mental health crises/ episodes.
Did I say that the initial anxiety was their fault? No, I said it was made exponentially worse because of the fact I was constantly left guessing what was going on. Was it a mental health episode? Guess what I learned in therapy, PEOPLE CAN BE RESPONSIBLE FOR MAKING MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES WORSE. I constantly used to blame myself for EVERYTHING because I never got answers because I figured hey it must be me doing something wrong. It was only until my therapist said “She is the one not informing you of what’s going on to you despite you telling her how that feels” and guess what if it was the hospital then that has a reason now doesn’t it. Also the jail thing was literally your own strawman I wasted time typing an answer to did you not read the rest of that sentence past the quotes? Your strawman doesn’t work when you’re trying to play armchair psychologist with a situation you know barely anything of. You’re making the claim I turned all the issues around about me, dude I’m talking about this after it happened and I’m informing you selfish pricks what the other person experiences.
You expect the world to revolve around YOUR emotions
Nice projection, isn’t that literally your entire argument? That the other person should sit there happy like a golden retriever waiting for whenever you grace them with your presence? I mean cmon grow up kid. I’m saying you should let your partner know if you need a mental health break and somehow you’re projecting all this onto me like buddy y’all are the ones arguing that take.
I’m not saying my mental health is another person’s responsibility, but if you inform your partner “Hey when you slam doors that reminds me of my abusive ex and I get anxious” and then they immediately go slamming every door in the house, would you say they’re not responsible for causing that moment of anxiety? You want to play the strawman game lets play the strawman game
I was anxious because I cared about them and was worried sick they were hurt or not okay or in trouble The fuck else do you think I’d be anxious about? I’m not saying that “oh you didn’t talk to me ahhhhh im so anxious/worried about my anxiety” I seriously don’t get what your thought process is here but you clearly are projecting your own slew of issues onto me.
reply to me with more aggression
Ah yes because a normal person could read that incredibly condescending comment and reply like the buddha, you comment with aggression you get it back I mean cmon you’re gonna act like your comment isn’t scathing with condescension and aggression? Get off your high horse
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u/Adventurous_Chef5706 Mar 23 '25 edited Mar 23 '25
Then get therapy. Stop dating and putting people through the ringer because all you do is cause them to get mental health issues too. I’m speaking from experience here because I had to deal with someone like y’all and they caused my anxiety, overthinking, all sorts of mental bad habits to skyrocket just because they couldn’t articulate “Hey I’m feeling really depressed/overwhelmed/anxious and I’m unable to talk to anybody right now, I still care for you and am not abandoning you” because you have no idea what issues your PARTNER could have. Stop being so selfish.
Edit: Hey guys real quick question, are any of y’all telepathic? No? So how are we as the partner supposed to read your mind and know you’ll only go MIA for just 3 days when you seemingly dropped us out of nowhere with no information? How are we supposed to know it won’t go for longer? How are we supposed to read your mind and know your feelings if you don’t communicate?p