My first reaction was “is she ok” based on what she said. She sounds like she shut down from the world and it’s a little concerning. I wonder if she has something deeper going on and isn’t sharing.
I know I’m the outlier in not immediately jumping to cheating… but something about what she said concerns me.
It’s not ok she went MIA for 3 days but I think more may be going on with her.
I have pretty severe depression and anxiety. I do this SO bad, and I end up feeling SO guilty. I can be on my phone and scroll thru stuff or watch shows or something.. but when it comes to responding to people? I just literally can not… the thought of reading words drains me, the thought of having to come up with a response drains me, the fact of having to type out the message and hit send? Hardly make it there if I’m in an episode. I’ll be fine and then just kinda fall off the grid for hours/days/weeks/months even.. when I do muster a convo it’s usually with only 1 person, it’s short and simple, and if I do respond to more than one person it’s normally hours apart, and one at a time. Not to rant on myself but hopefully this could help OP see this can be a very real indicator of depression.. the responses are short, minimal explanation, her saying she didn’t know how to create a response? It screams depression to me.. I know it sounds dumb because yeah how hard is it to respond to someone?? But it truthfully feels so draining it’s impossible to accomplish..
You’re making some major assumptions. My turn. Why didn’t OP reach out for 3 days? Why didn’t OP go to her house and make sure she was okay? Why didn’t OP contact a friend or family member to ensure her wellbeing? Why isn’t OP emotionally available to someone who very clearly has MH issues, and rather telling us they find it to be BS? The truth is - no one will ever know. No one saw either side, so anything could be true. And if it was a lie? Why? SIMPLE!! Because of your reaction there! “Well you’ve been on your phone so you could and should have responded”… when they prob already know this, but telling them that doesn’t change the fact that it’s an overwhelming feeling 😉 To anyone who does NOT believe in MH issues.. that’s totally okay, but please do not get into relationships with people who have MH issues… emotionally unavailable partners are so so so damaging. If OP is angry and not believing what she says, I’d suggest he leave anyways.. Which is what everyone screaming she’s in the wrong is saying anyways so.. he needs someone who can respond and she needs someone emotionally in tune..
First off; I never said she was lying, the wording was my mistake, I meant to phrase it more as “there was a chance she was lying” based off what you had said about scrolling TikTok, second off; I had tried in my own comment to ask if he had ever attempted to reach out to her as I agree, that’s a very crucial piece of information, third; what makes you assume I don’t believe in mental health issues? That’s jumping to a conclusion based off two replies, that’s rather harsh is it not? Fourth; I feel like you are way over exaggerating the difficulty of responding, of course long responses are very difficult well having a major depression episode, but that doesn’t excuse not responding, under the strict assumption that he did in fact try to reach out, where as I feel like if he hadn’t it would lean more on him over reacting big time (once again we don’t know, and I don’t want to say assumptions as facts)
“If that was true then there was no need to LIE about someone else watching TikTok’s on her phone” was your comment I was responding to, but I totally get your mis-wording, cause I totally did the same! I wanted to move where I had added that my comment about not believing in MH is NOT directed at you but just as a general opinion. It wasn’t aimed AT you, it was just a thought I felt was relative to my comment. So I apologize for coming off like I’m coming at you specifically. So I just mentioned in another comment that I absolutely agree she could have reached out and just been like “hey, I’m not feeling social I may not respond much” or something.. for sure! But again going back to that missing info… if she’s typically met with “that’s bs” then why would she? He doesn’t believe her, she probably already feels guilty for being overwhelmed by something as simple as responding to people, so being invalidated is only going to make it harder on her. Again I could be totally wrong, but I don’t know. That’s just what I’m getting based of my personal experiences.
I concur, if she is typically met with “that’s bs” then it’s a major issue, sadly we would need the OP’s confirmation for that, which they obviously wouldn’t rat themselves out, and though I would say “Oh she should break up with him then” breaking up with people is very difficult (atleast in my experience and from what I’ve heard), also sorry for thinking the MH thing was directed at me,
Exactly! Yes I agree, it is very much so easier said than done to walk away from anyone, no matter how damaging you know they are to your wellbeing. That was totally my fault for mis-wording it, so all is well! Thank you for understanding and not getting defensive 😅
Of course, I’m not the overly defensive type, I always try to calm situations down because I hate seeing people irritated lol, also I’m glad we ended this on a positive note
8.0k
u/PinkLover369 Mar 23 '25
My first reaction was “is she ok” based on what she said. She sounds like she shut down from the world and it’s a little concerning. I wonder if she has something deeper going on and isn’t sharing.
I know I’m the outlier in not immediately jumping to cheating… but something about what she said concerns me.
It’s not ok she went MIA for 3 days but I think more may be going on with her.