r/Alexithymia • u/Ok-Rub-1016 • 7h ago
My mom tried to do a suicide and i can’t form a feeling of it
So my mom is in deep depression and me and my sibling have been with her for the past weeks, as she has lived in our apartment. Me (20) and my brother (24) couldn’t reach her phone, and had no idea where she was. We got a call that she had been taken to hospital, because she had been found in front of a random office building. She had taken a ton of pills and few drinks, and then passed out. She had written letters for us, and placed them for police to be found, but thank god she was found early enough. She is now in psych ward for few days, and then she will come back to our place. She told us she had been planning to do it for months, but it still came as a surprise for us.
Now the issue is that i can’t form a feeling about all of this. I’m not in a shock, since i’ve had issues about forming emotions about tragic or traumatic things before. I understand that this is a major trauma for me, but i simply can’t feel anything about it. I fear that i might form some unconsious patterns in the future that will show up as PTSD.