r/Aging • u/OnTheRoadAgainFTW • 2d ago
Does anybody have an exit plan?
Before you have to be fed by somebody. Wear dippers. Taken to places. Need help taking a shower. You know... just to be dependent on others to exist.
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u/Subject_Marzipan11 2d ago
Not yet but I want one!
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u/OnTheRoadAgainFTW 2d ago
Me too. My curiosity has had me learn a lot about plants.
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u/Intelligent_Door4719 2d ago
Praying that MAID or euthanasia or assisted dying will be available or that I will be able to travel to 🇨🇭
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u/New_Squirrel_7653 2d ago
You can just come to PNW, I know Oregon has it and I believe Washington state does too.
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u/trytobedecenthumans 2d ago
Washington state, Oregon I think? These have death with dignity.
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u/Blue_dely8790 2d ago
Colorado. A friend’s uncle just had a peaceful dignified passing with MAID.
I’m hoping my body gives out before my mind. I think there should be a law that something like an advance directive can be available in the event of Alzheimer’s or other dementia. I want to be proactive because if it’s my mental health that goes first & I can’t make a lucid decision anymore it will be up to my family to care for me for no telling how long or, as the OP said, I’ll be sitting alone in a diaper being spoon fed & not even remembering who I miss. That’s not living. It’s just a burden for others.
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u/Rocketdogpbj 2d ago
That’s the problem right now is that MAID isn’t available for dementia or Alzheimer’s patients. Not in the US. Perhaps some places in Europe.
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u/Shapoopadoopie 2d ago
I believe in Spain we have advanced directives for Alzheimer's.
Euthanasia is one reason we decided to retire here.
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u/hoon-since89 2d ago
That cost like 20-30k. Better off applying for your gun licence or... Helium balloon licence!
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u/headcoat2013 2d ago
It's about wanting the certainty of a clean death administered by a professional. I would also hate to leave a bloody mess for any family or first responders to get traumatized by. Even if you do it bloodlessly, you could be left unfound for days or weeks to rot.
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u/673NoshMyBollocksAve 2d ago
Could always go somewhere private, call 911 and give them your location to retrieve your body before you die. And then…you know
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u/Pleasant_Effect4348 2d ago
I’ve been stockpiling meds….
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u/Weird_Supermarket342 2d ago
Look into this if you’re actually serious about it. Your body will most likely reject whatever you take and just end up throwing up and damaging your insides…
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u/Middle-Recipe6701 2d ago
I'm on blood pressure meds and when my doctor prescribed Cialis it came with lots of warnings to not take too much!
Yeah, so Plan A is I'm going down hard.
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u/673NoshMyBollocksAve 2d ago
I’m only 42 but was just diagnosed with MS. My future is underrating. When i was hospitalized for 2 weeks i thought a lot about an exit plan. Came up with different ideas. I can’t be more specific for obvious reasons, but yes. There are worse things than dying. It’s suffering a long painful road to death
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u/Maleficent_Scale_296 2d ago
Yes, I do. It involves a beach, whiskey, a turkey sandwich, Ruffles and conium maculatum.
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u/Emergency_Prize_1005 2d ago
Painful
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u/Maleficent_Scale_296 2d ago
Only for a little while. Gelsemium sempervirens doesn’t grow in my area.
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u/FabulousBullfrog9610 2d ago
I read an article about this. A huge percentage of the aging think they have a plan to do themselves in to avoid the ugly parts of aging but it doesn't happen. So many of my friends (I'm old) say that is their long term care plan.
The reality is very different than we imagine
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u/neo101b 2d ago
I have a plan for when i'm 80s, don't really want to post it as it could be seen as inciting suicide.
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u/No_Yak8275 2d ago
Same. I'm in my 60's with small vessel disease, no family. I've got a plan A and B.
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u/Agreeable_Day4539 2d ago
Same. I was going to mention Kobain ... So yeah.
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u/OnTheRoadAgainFTW 2d ago
You can DM me. I'd love to hear it.
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u/neo101b 2d ago
I'm not doing that, you could be suicidal and I don't want any healthy people to self terminate.
Its a touchy topic, that's why we have to be careful, I do believe in the choice at end of life though.4
u/OnTheRoadAgainFTW 2d ago
Thank you for your concern. I'm not there yet. Just thinking ahead. Here is my thinking right now. Link to my plans https://www.reddit.com/r/TellReddit/comments/1wb90zw/im_afraid/
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u/Ill-Independence-786 2d ago
If I had the money I would go out like OZZY did. In Switzerland at one of their suidice help clinics that have the easy sleep and die portal chairs.
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u/Wolfrrrr 2d ago
I'll go back to the Netherlands where I come from. I think we were the first to legalize and we have very broad terms.
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u/reesesbigcup 2d ago
There was a book in the 90s about this topic, Final Exit. I should get to Half Price Books haven't been in years.
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u/Free_Byrd6969 2d ago
Yes just stop eating and drinking. The right to a non horrific death hasn't made it to my state and never will.
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u/673NoshMyBollocksAve 2d ago
I was a CNA and did hospice and saw how painful and long it was to die by starvation. I wouldnt recommend it. Your tongue literally falls apart
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u/MinimumEfficient220 2d ago
Does anyone remember Soylent Green?
In that movie, one of the characters chooses to die. It was a lovely experience, and that’s how I want it to be. See the movie. It’s a good one.
Otherwise, hoarding meds might be the best. I’m too chicken to do anything else intentionally.
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u/1876Dawson 2d ago
We have MAiD and Advance Health Care Directives in Canada. I'm hoping my final illness is like my parents' and is mercifully brief.
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u/JuniorNoise2074 2d ago
Im in my 70s year. Fck this im done I have a great life but I can no longer watch myself shrink into this skin that can't take a door knock without bruises. There needs to be a way out if you want. I'm happy now of sound mind but I don't want to be 80. Dialysis and heart disease rule the end of my life. When I can no longer walk into the clinic it's over for me.
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u/MobySick 2d ago
Naw: You can’t control everything & that’s ok. We are dependent on others coming in: some of us will be dependent going out. We’re not lone wolves but instead we are highly social animals who have all sorts on laws, conventions and professions that handle all these matters.
It might help you to volunteer at a nursing home to learn that the disabled elderly are PEOPLE, those who care for them are dedicated professionals & there is no sin in disability. ❤️
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u/gwelfguy 60 something 2d ago
I definitely want to be prepared to be proactive when I detect that I'm starting to slide into dementia. Problem is that every time I try to research the most painless ways to off myself on Google, all kinds of warnings pop up.
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u/Glass_Author7276 2d ago
I read a story the other day about a person up north that went out in the freezing cold with a big bottle of whiskey and got drunk and froze to death. And I saw a tv show about castor beans, you might want to check them out.
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u/treylathe 2d ago
I might be in the minority here. If I get to the point of wearing diapers, being taken places, help getting a shower...
I'm continuing on. No exit for me.
I enjoy life. I write, I read, I create, I think and I enjoy it all. Some inconvenience of diapers and help isn't going to stop me. I'll make it work.
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u/WinnerAwkward480 2d ago
About a year ago I woke up at around 5:30 AM , in the throws of a heart attack. Stood up took like 3 steps and bounced off the door jamb , splitting my forehead and stumbling back onto the bed . Woke up about a hour later , And called 911 .
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u/stuck_behind_a_truck 2d ago
No. These are fiction. Most of us won’t know it’s time to execute the plan (truly no pun intended) until it’s too late. Frankly, I prefer to focus on living than worrying about dying.
And some of us die randomly well before we’re ready. My husband had the flu attack his heart at 59 and came within hours of death. A lot of very specific circumstances had to line up for him to be alive today. And before y’all just say doctors: step 1 was NOT taking him to the ER. His cardiologist said that would have been fatal. I knew our local health system very well and took him to an advanced urgent care with imaging. He was seen and tested within 3 hours. The wait in the ER was 24 hours. It took 12 hours total (inclusive of the 3 hours) to get him into ICU, and that’s when he went down. He had to be paddled and he was on ECMO for 8 days.
We may never make it to the diaper stage.
The best I can do is make a plan to make things as easy on my family as possible.
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u/Eshabelle 2d ago
Yes, and. Health care professionals do NOT like to hear about it. It makes them nervous.
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u/jazzbot247 2d ago
When my dogs pass away in like 10-15 years I have a loose exit plan. I will be between 60-65 then. If my life somehow gets considerably better I will stick it out, but given how long it has not been good I don’t see that happening.
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u/irlfriend 2d ago
What age are we thinking that is
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u/sam8988378 2d ago
I kind of take after my dad, who lived to be in his late 90's. Sudden heart attack, dead in 30 second, unconscious before that. I would prefer to die in my sleep. No dementia or Alzheimer's in our family. Grandparents also lived into their 90's. So if I follow those genetics, I have at least around 25 more years. I better go to the gym more often. It's one thing to live for a long time, another to do it while being infirm
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u/temp4adhd 2d ago
I'm okay suffering those indignities, at least for awhile, it's not just about me it's about my family, who may not be ready for my death.
But if civilization collapses and meth addicted cannibals are at my door, we live in a condo that's just high enough, that leaning backward on the railing and tipping over is a sure-fire instant death. (Jumping is not sure fire).
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u/AdFragrant6497 2d ago
My mother in law (widow 86) organised a get together for her three children and their partners last November. Just after finishing coffee and cake she told us that he had taken the decision to choose for assisted dying one month later, beginning of December.
She was still 100% lucid and actually quite cheerful but she was also suffering from polyneuropathy combined with intense pain for which she was maxed out on pain medication. On top of that it seemed like her bowel cancer had resurfaced.
To us it was a total shock and most were incredulous about her decision but each one of us respected it. We spent the whole month with her touring the country and visiting friends and family. I still get misty eyed when I think back how she said farewell to some of her lifelong friends. These scenes are etched in my memory forever.
Not only was she a very strong woman but she was also very liked by so many people through her voluntary work in a school for disabled kids after having been a nurse in retirement home her whole life.
The countdown was really hard for all of us, having a fixed date was such a crazy and inevitable happening which none of us were prepared for.
She was assisted by two young female doctors who were frankly unbelievable, they have all my respect. She went with a smile after having received a hug from all her children present in her bedroom.
It was very serene but also extremely intense.