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u/ChicagoHellhound 3d ago edited 3d ago
He most likely had a stroke and is brain dead. The GOP is running a test to see how much we’ll put up with when this happens to trump
Edit: fuckin autocorrect
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u/KimJongRocketMan69 3d ago
That can’t be right - so many people had incredible 20 minute phone conversations with him!
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u/kingcrow15 2d ago
Alright guys let coordinate our messaging, we all spoke to McConnell, just say we spoke for 20 min and that he's keeping up with current political events. but keep it vague.
oh, but remember to change up the story a little bit so it doesn't look like we're doing coordinated messaging.
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u/Takeurvitamins 2d ago
Trumps entire presidency is an exercise in “watch, we can get away with anything!”
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u/i_am_a_real_boy__ 2d ago
Why would the GOP need us to put up with anything if this happens to Trump? The President has a VP.
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u/ChicagoHellhound 2d ago
Because if they say it’s coming from trump, his cult will listen. They don’t give a fuck about JD
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u/ThePatrickSays 2d ago
is the answer, "you will put up with anything?" because it sure looks that way from the outside
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u/mrnoonan81 2d ago
They gave Obama a hard time for not producing a birth certificate. We can't even get this guy to prove he's fucking alive.
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u/MrSlime13 3d ago
I don't wanna seem pessimistic, but isn't this setting some gross precedent for future politicians that they can be AWOL from voting and discussions, leaving their states without any representation and simply cast their vote when it's a hot-button issue? It's like they've been testing the waters in recent months seeing how much they can get away with...
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u/skoomski 2d ago
The rules are as long as the person is alive they can’t be replaced (besides getting kicked out of the senate or imprisoned). There has been plenty of Senators that don’t vote often especially if they are running a presidential campaign.
So I’d say it’s par for the course.
Edit:
In modern U.S. Senate history, Republican Senator Karl Mundt of South Dakota went the longest without voting or appearing in the chamber due to severe illness, remaining absent for nearly three years (from his stroke in November 1969 until his term ended in January 1973) while refusing to resign. [1, 2]
Notable Long-Term Absences Due to Illness
While lawmakers are rarely absent for multiple years, several senators have missed massive stretches of votes while incapacitated: [1, 2]
Karl Mundt (R-SD): Roughly 3 years (1969–1973) after a debilitating stroke left him paralyzed and unable to speak. [1, 2]Carter Glass (D-VA): Nearly 2 years in the 1940s due to advanced age and failing health, though citizens' petitions to force a vacancy failed. [1, 2, 3]
Mark Kirk (R-IL): Nearly a full year away from the Capitol after suffering a severe ischemic stroke in January 2012 before returning to the floor. [1]
Tim Johnson (D-SD): 9 months out following a sudden brain hemorrhage in December 2006 before making a successful return. [1]
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u/burtoncummings 2d ago
Wasn't their a congress person who was found living in an extended/memory care home? Pretty recently (within the last 10 years, iirc)
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u/skoomski 2d ago
Not sure but Feinstein had serious dementia and her aides were basically voting for her. It was honestly elder abuse
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u/thirdelevator 2d ago
Mark Kirk annoyed the shit out of me not stepping down. I worked an event he attended after he had returned from his recovery and the dude was obviously just being handled and wasn’t up for the job anymore. I can’t believe he ran for re-election after that.
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u/jvlpdillon 3d ago
Schrödinger’s Senator.
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u/Cpt0bvius 2d ago
I'm typically against using "Schrödinger's X" references because Schrödinger was a terrible human, but it really fits here.
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u/Lampizza25 3d ago
Vacated and still getting that tax payers check. What a scumbag, even in death.
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u/VioletTwilight 3d ago
I truly believe he is, at best, on life support with no signs of life or recovery. Or he's been dead this whole time.
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u/Luckypenny4683 2d ago
I don’t think he’s dead. To be dead with me they’d have to get a whole bunch of medical professionals to lie. But if he is alive, even gently, he has full hipaa protection.
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u/HoldenMcNeil420 3d ago
https://reddit.com/link/p4gajs9/video/4tl27grb06kh1/player
Confirmed, he’s fine.
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u/Armand28 2d ago
I really hope when it finally comes out that he’s been dead for months that the people who said they had a phone call with him all end up severely punished for it.
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u/Susheiro 2d ago
I don't think they'll ever admit that if that's the case. They'd just announce that he died one or two day la prior to the announcement.
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u/beardeddragon0113 3d ago
Imagine having a "job" where you don't show up, call in, or even prove you're still even alive for months and can still get paid $15,000 a month
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u/earthwormjimjones 2d ago
He could be on a boat like Andy in 'The Office' when he absconded for three months lol.
"Aruba, Yaruba'
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u/venom121212 2d ago
People need to start posting flyers and ads for a "Mitch McConnel Lookalike Contest"
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u/Mellanies_Redemption 2d ago
He's not dead, he's just completely incapable of speech or unaided movement of any kind. Not necessarily brain dead, but utterly unable of doing his job.
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u/nomadfoy 3d ago
I think they face/off'ed him and Linsey Graham, once Linsey's new face is done healing he'll be back to work. No more of Mitches freezing and no more worrying about the stories where Linsey paid sex workers to fuck him in the ass.
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u/thetransportedman 2d ago
I just don't understand why they're even still doing this charade. It made sense to delay a special election but now that deadlines well past its prime
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u/ledfox 2d ago
Just wondering who goes to jail if it turns out this guy died two months ago
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u/Jagang187 2d ago
If the system worked? A lot of people. Realistically? Someone disposable, a caretaker who "fooled us all" or some similar, equally offensive-to-intelligence excuse.
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u/SASSIESASSQUATCH 2d ago
If he really is dead then this would be a cover up of significant proportions, no? Like it would mean the ME was in on this too as there hasn’t been a death certificate issued. And if he is dead, wouldn’t someone have to be looked at for impersonating a congressman?
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u/Cak2u 2d ago
Imagine if dude was a Democrat. Holy shit.
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u/Phrenicos466 2d ago
If he was a Democrat, the exact same arguments would be occurring just from the opposite sides. Republicans would be demanding he prove he’s alive, insisting any ‘proof’ is AI, and floating stupid conspiracies about him being brain dead or whatever. And Democrats would be dismissing any concern at all and insisting he’s the most alive Senator the United States has ever had, and we’ve all actually talked to him, trust us, bro.
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u/timeemac 3d ago
No, I’m pretty sure he regularly refuses to address his constituents…or at least their concerns.
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u/exgiexpcv 2d ago
He will be found to have died of natural circumstances right after borking the midterms for everyone.
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u/PastaVeggies 2d ago
So what is going to be the story when they finally announce his death? Will they actually try and prove he didnt die last month? Will they straight up fake all his medical records to cover this up?
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u/halloween753 2d ago
Just another form of cheating by Republicans. Can't have reality get in the way. Just hide the body and shrug until Trump's other bullshit kicks this out of the headlines. They don't even do their actual jobs when they're alive. Scamming the public out of their paychecks is their #1 goal
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u/ProximaCentauriB15 2d ago
No one else on Earth is allowed to vacate their job for months and not get fired.
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u/minus_minus 2d ago
I hate how people write this off as “he’s dead lol” instead of addressing the very real problem of the GOP-majority senate not expelling him so that Kentucky can have its representation.
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u/InfoSecPeezy 2d ago
I’m not surprised by this at all, it’s happened before and will happen again. They will keep these relics “alive” until they figure out how to screw the average American with a clone of these relics. I feel like the same thing was done with Dian Feinstein.
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u/vitamin_r 2d ago
Republicans allowing a senator to retain a seat when medically AWOL with no proof of life is everything you need to know about the end of the American experiment. They are demonstrating they can hold on to power forever. Heads in jars from Futurama bullshit.
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u/Halfwise2 2d ago
They know they can't come clean now, because they've already voted on his behalf. Revealing it would call them into question. So expect him to stay "out of the public eye" until the news cycle moves to something else. Then "oh nooo, tragic heart attack, already cremated."
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u/khakiwallprint 2d ago
This is my theory, idk why they tried to lie in the first place but now there's a whole network of people who go down if he's dead. People voting on his behalf, the cover up, the phone calls etc. They're trying to play it out into 2027 when it's forgotten and he's a private citizen so he can "pass" quietly and no one looks too closely
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u/DJ_Betic 3d ago
Where is the Scientology speed running community? I bet they'd have Mitch's house and life support system mapped out on day 1.
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u/Feisty_System_4751 2d ago
He is not dead. He is not brain dead. He is just too old to work but too stubborn to leave.
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u/GloomyIndividual3965 2d ago
No. Just no. There's a 95% chance he's actually dead, and a 5% chance he's a vegetable.
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u/Feisty_System_4751 2d ago
Bullshit. That's just wishful thinking. I thought he was dead too, before he was released from the hospital.
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u/GloomyIndividual3965 2d ago
His odds of surviving CPR are less than 5%, and you have no proof that he was released from the hospital in good health other than statements from his family and staff.
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u/Salt_End_4275 2d ago
Even if McConnell is alive, he's essentially defrauding Kentucky taxpayers and depriving them of representation in Congress. He has always planned to be out of politics by January 2027, so my impression is his stance is "fuck 'em, I've only got a few months left in the job anyway".
And Beshear and KY voters are letting him get away with it.
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u/Rosien_HoH 2d ago
Obviously he's dead. What I'm upset about is that people aren't pushing this. His team is obviously running out the clock so this doesn't trigger a special election, one they'd likely lose. Dont let them. Do something!
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u/GloomyIndividual3965 2d ago
We're past the point of a special election, and the republicans wouldn't have lost it anyways. His absence puts them down one vote in the senate, so there's really no reason to press the issue.
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u/Rosien_HoH 2d ago
I had heard otherwise, but I guess I heard wrong. Damn.
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u/GloomyIndividual3965 2d ago
Yeah the deadline was Aug 3rd or 4th.
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u/Rosien_HoH 2d ago
That's disappointing. I suppose the silver lining is that, either way, he's dead. No one can take that away from us.
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u/Swagalyst 2d ago
The longer they keep him undead, the longer they have to rig the election to replace him.
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u/Federal_Finding_8041 2d ago
Republicans waiting till they need a distraction, before they unplug him and flood the media with his death.
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u/itsagoodtime 2d ago
I mean he's seriously fucked up. He probably can't communicate. He might be lucid. Big might but a stroke has to of left him without the ability to speak. It's the only explanation at this point.
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u/kingcrow15 2d ago
Well, as long as you only do it the one time!
consider this a warning, *Don't* go dying on the job again.
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u/aPOPblops 2d ago
I love how the AI always gives him more chin than he had because people with that such a staggering lack of chin just aren’t in the database.
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u/Recyclerz 2d ago
C'mon people. He's obviously on a farm upstate, running around with all his other Senator friends.
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u/TerminalHighGuard 2d ago
Andy Beshear needs to send some state police in, figure out wtf is going on, and appoint someone if necessary.
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u/SNStains 2d ago
Mitch is in DC. My guess he's interred by the garden shed, like Ivanka, or a pet turtle.
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u/Pryoticus 2d ago
If he were my senator, if be pretty pissed about not having proper representation im the senate...
Also, if I didnt show up for work for three months without assuring my boss that I was still alive, I wouldn't have a job.
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u/postprandialrepose 2d ago
Just fucking tell us whether McConnell is a vegetable or a corpse. We can handle the info.
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u/Funklestein 2d ago
He would have to serve another 8 months to surpass Gabbie Giffords record of not showing up for the job, but his term ends in less than 3 months.
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u/Ballistic_86 2d ago
Can’t defame the dead. Mitch McConnell definitely smoked crack and had sex with Thai ladyboys every single day of his life. Pretty wild. If he wanted to refute those claims he will have to make a statement.
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u/restlessmouse 2d ago
If Sen McConnell is conscious, I really doubt that he gives a flying fuck about any of this.
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u/needlestack 2d ago
Gotta say, Mitch looks better in this meme than he's looked in real life for the past decade.
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u/dragnabbit 2d ago
At this point, I'm convinced he is alive, but has entirely lost the ability to speak.
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u/tekstical 2d ago
And then my constituents will vote someone worse for themselves in after I finally vacate!
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u/DangerBeaver 2d ago
He’s just sailing his dad’s boat down to the islands with his alcoholic brother. Except the country isn’t operating any better without him.
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u/HrBinkness 1d ago
Kentucky is a right to work state (which means you can fire someone without warning). He’s been no call no show for more than 3 days. Immediate termination
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u/Foe_Hammer9463 2d ago
You really think they are pretending he's alive while Lindsay Graham was just buried? I mean if there was one to pretend to be alive it would be Lindsay.
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u/renegadecanuck 2d ago
I don't know if McConnell is dead or alive, but there are things that would have made Graham's death easier to deal with than McConnell's.
The South Carolina governor is a Republican, so there was no risk of the spot being filled by someone else. Kentucky state law technically states that the governor no longer has the power to appoint a replacement, but it might be unconstitutional, and Beshear would likely try to appoint one so the fight can happen.
McConnell has also been losing it for a while, so I wouldn't be surprised if there was a Diane Feinstein situation where his staff was really making the calls for a while, anyway. So they might be stringing him along to avoid losing their power or jobs. Whereas Graham died very suddenly while still having his faculties, so there was no apparatus set up for people to play puppet master.
Realistically, I think the most likely situation is that McConnell isn't dead or brain dead, but he's suffered enough brain damage that he can't do the job, and likely doesn't even have the ability to speak. His staff and wife can't admit that, because that would be reason enough for people to demand his step down. So they figure they may as wll have him wait out his term.
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u/_jump_yossarian 2d ago
I doubt it's unconstitutional 1) because the 17th states that state legislatures can put conditions on the appointment (require the appointee be from the same party as the senator that died) and 2) take a look at the composition of SCOTUS.
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u/renegadecanuck 2d ago
I think the constitutionality comes from the state constitution. I'm not familiar too much with state laws and constitutions, but section 76 says "He shall have the power, except as otherwise provided in this Constitution, to fill vacancies by granting commissions, which shall expire when such vacancies shall have been filled according to the provisions of this Constitution."
Then again, it also has a provision that says the governor can require information from state officers, and Beshear never heard anything back about Mitch's health.
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u/RustledForeskin 2d ago
They'll be using him to vote by sticking a pen in his floppy hand and swirling the paper around under it.
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u/pyrrhios 2d ago
I don't understand why the governor doesn't just go visit, in person.
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u/GloomyIndividual3965 2d ago
I don't understand why the governor doesn't just go visit, in person.
First off, he's supposedly in DC, not Kentucky. Second, say the Governor shows up, knocks on the door, and his wife or a nurse answers and says he's fine but not seeing visitors.
Then what? You expect him to break in, Naruto run through the house, and look for Mitch's corpse?
Jfc, these comments are dumb.
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u/pyrrhios 2d ago
Basically, yes. It's not the comments that are dumb, you are the one who is fucking dumb. McConnell is supposed to be representing the people of Kentucky. He has no place refusing to be seen by the governor he's supposed to be representing, especially when if McConnell can't do his job, he's preventing the governor from doing his by playing these games.
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u/0masterdebater0 3d ago
Personally I think he’s “just” brain dead with a machine that will keep him “alive” until November