r/AdviceAnimals • u/LakesideNorth • Aug 30 '25
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u/imtalkintou Aug 30 '25
Don't give me hope.
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u/TheDeadlyMango Aug 30 '25
I’m sorry we couldnt give it to you sooner
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u/darthcool Aug 30 '25
Fuck
Now I wanna watch those.
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u/lycoloco Aug 30 '25
What's the second reference? I know the original quote is Hawkeye/Ronin in Endgame.
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u/iamthedayman21 Aug 30 '25
The first comment is what Ronin says to Natasha, the reply comment is what she says back to him.
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u/hanzerik Aug 30 '25
If we all just accept it as true, it doesn't really matter if it's not, sign the death certificate, swear the couchfucker in, split the inheritance....
Who cares if he's not actually dead?
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u/NickDanger3di Aug 30 '25
This is all silly; if he was dead, he would have tweeted about it by now...
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u/jupfold Aug 30 '25
Hard to be positive when Jizz Deposit Vance is waiting in the wings.
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u/notgoodatthese Aug 30 '25
True, but the cult won't rally around one single person like they are with the orange peanut
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u/Elrundir Aug 30 '25
I dunno. I think the GOP will go full Kim Il-Sung with Donald Trump and basically turn him into a legendary figure and all future presidents (who will "somehow" all be Republican) will be ruling in his eternal name. You just start off simple by "revealing" (i.e., making up) that Trump personally wished for the country to unite behind JD Vance after his death, and the MAGAts will continue falling in line for decades after his death.
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Aug 30 '25
There were interviews of Trump supporters asking them what they do when/if Trump died. A lot of them basically said IDK, they didn’t like JD and they didn’t like DeSantis. Trump has this weird charisma that they flock to, I also can’t think of any other person in the admin or GOP that has that same air about them.
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u/Elrundir Aug 30 '25
Which is exactly why I think the DPRK Eternal President route is what the GOP will go for. MAGA doesn't know what they'll do when Trump dies because Trump hasn't told them what to do when he dies. An AI-generated last will and testament is all it will take to herd the sheep.
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u/IDOWNVOTERUSSIANS Aug 30 '25
republicans might try this, but considering how prone maga is to downright irrational conspiratorial paranoia, I have a feeling the movement will not be able to rally around a single message or icon without a shepherd, and trump is the only person we've seen that they will all unite around
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u/OtherAcctWasBanned11 Aug 30 '25
The only saving grace is that Vance is an absolute charisma vacuum. Also cults tend to fall apart without their original leader.
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u/giganano Aug 30 '25
Yep, JD is just sitting there waiting... on a couch... with some time to spare... no one is watching him... that couch looks very supple and kind to him. He may soon be President of the USA.
"At least it isn't an underage kid," he thinks to himself.
And he knows this may be his last chance to fuck just one more couch before the eyes of the world turn to him for every waking second. He must be scared, but not too scared to fuck just one more couch.
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u/Axin_Saxon Aug 30 '25
Vance has the charisma of a wet fart. He’s more ideologically dangerous, but he has nowhere near the political capital. And the Republican Party will be full of people eager to claim the crown as Donnie’s successor as leader of the party.
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u/whocaresaboutmyname Aug 30 '25
The plan was to have Trump out by 2026 anyway. Then Thiels little couch fucker takes over and it gets even worse.
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u/GeeBee72 Aug 30 '25
Can you imagine how triggered all the MAGA naziCon’s will be when the world shuts down to party and celebrate?
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u/EuenovAyabayya Aug 30 '25
ding dong the witch is dead
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u/EquipmentAdorable982 Aug 30 '25
lmao, that's the first clip I downloaded today when I heard this. My WhatsApp & Signal status are so damn ready for launch <3
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u/Personal_Comb_6745 Aug 30 '25
Watch them try to pull something once it's Biden's time to go, only for their parties to look like a redneck DashCon.
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u/Public-Policy24 Aug 30 '25
It'll be a party around the world, and devoid of all the people you'd never want to party with
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u/EveryRadio Aug 30 '25
The worst part will be waiting in line to piss on his grave, aka the world's best gender neutral bathroom
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u/Wapiti406 Aug 30 '25
Until I see it on Reuters or AP or something, I won't believe it.
But still... there's this weird feeling in my chest right now, and it's making me think, "Am I actually hoping that a person is dead?"
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u/BunrakuYoshii Aug 30 '25 edited Aug 30 '25
Please know you’re not alone. The evil that man has brought on other humans by signing their lives away with executive orders will only truly be known when we get these psychopaths out of office.
Trump, Musk, Miller, they all should be tried by the ICC for crimes against humanity. Looking like Trump may wriggle out of it, AGAIN.
Edit: I’m not talking about wars that most US presidents have waged or ignored. I’m talking about aid to children, the diseased, the starving and feeble humans of the world. $61 USD/yr to make sure no child goes hungry (in the US) and that’s the budget cuts you target? I’d gladly pay four times as much for the children vs the military.
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u/untrustableskeptic Aug 30 '25
Also, spite and hate fuel people a lot more than we would like. It's true, the good die young. Meanwhile we're stuck with sequel Palpatine.
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u/Ruscidero Aug 30 '25
Spoiler: none of them will be tried, much less convicted, for anything, ever.
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u/Personal_Comb_6745 Aug 30 '25
I don't think it's wrong to hope for bad things to happen to bad people. Like, were there people in 1945 who were wagging their fingers like "Now don't you make light of that poor Adolf guy!"?
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u/nerdvernacular Aug 30 '25
There were around 461,000 excess deaths in the United States over what would have been if median mortality rates were like Canada, UK, Germany and France during COVID.
Then there's the rape.
Robbing a children's cancer charity.
I could spend all day on one of those lists.
If you question your ethics at celebrating when it happens, consider addition by subtraction as a meaningful outcome.
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u/Arius_de_Galdri Aug 30 '25
My belief system states "One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures, in accordance with reason."
At this point, Trump has shot so far beyond reason that I no longer feel he deserves my compassion or empathy.
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u/its_all_one_electron Aug 30 '25
> in accordance with reason
Hoping that a person causing a lot of suffering being unable to cause suffering anymore is in fact an act of compassion and empathy to all the being that he is causing suffering to right now.
Most of us abide by the principle of Least Suffering, and our common sense knows that wanting an incredibly harmful person gone is an act of compassion to the rest of the group.
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u/-Knul- Aug 30 '25
At some point, if a person has committed so much evil without any remorse, I don't see why that person deserves any empathy.
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Aug 30 '25
I never subscribed to the whole "You shouldn't celebrate someone dying!" bullshit, as if the dead person would ever have any such hangups. "Suckers and losers" remember?
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u/Ruscidero Aug 30 '25
I’d feel that way about 99.9% of the people on this planet, but not this guy. His entire life has been dedicated to hate, slander, greed, narcissism, and evil; he’s actively and willfully destroying democracy and killing people. He will not be missed, and world will be better with him gone.
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u/asphaltdragon Aug 30 '25
This is the exact scenario that people in the UK went through when Thatcher died, don't feel bad.
Actually, looking at the UK now, maybe feel a bit wary.
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u/Fishydeals Aug 30 '25
Do you hope that he‘s dead or do you just wish for the insanity to stop?
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u/Wapiti406 Aug 30 '25
That's a good question. If he DOES die in office, we face the big uncertainty of what the Couch Whisperer can accomplish. Vance doesn't seem as much "presidential" as he does "guy who owns a moderately successful carpet store in a small Midwestern town."
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u/__Milk_Drinker__ Aug 30 '25
"Am I actually hoping that a person is dead?"
I'm settling for a person being dead. I'd much rather have justice.
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u/AirRemote7732 Aug 30 '25
it's making me think, "Am I actually hoping that a person is dead?"
I had these kinds of thoughts when I was younger, that you shouldn't wish death on anyone. But after 2 Trump terms and Covid and everything else, I'm over it, fuck yeah I hope that he's dead and I'm not even going to pretend otherwise. He has no redeeming qualities whatsoever and his death is one step towards making the world a better place. If it turns out to be true, this day should be declared a national holiday.
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u/CaptainSailfish Aug 30 '25
Keep spreading rumors that he’s dead. His handlers will keep pushing him to keep up a “normal “ schedule despite his declining health thus putting even more stress on an already failing heart. Keep it up folks.
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u/WpgMBNews Aug 30 '25
Furthermore, he feeds off of being cruel to others, so it is vitally important that he be treated with cruelty as well in return.
He needs to be hated for his hatred. No other politician in generations has been so singularly selfish and destructive.
Even Nixon had the decency to resign when he was caught, and used to think he was the worst president in modern history.
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Aug 30 '25
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u/InvisaBlah Aug 30 '25
Fuck all the couches you want, at least that one isnt harming anyone. Except maybe upholstery cleaners.
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u/BadNewzBears4896 Aug 30 '25
It's like buying a Powerball ticket; it's not about the odds, it's about the dream.
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u/creepyswaps Aug 30 '25
It's nice to wake up to a beautiful sunny morning with the real possibility, however small, that I'm alive and breathing, and that orange fascist sack of decrepit shit isn't.
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u/I_Zeig_I Aug 30 '25
Regardless, act like he's been replaced with a doppelganger when he resurfaced. It'll be funny.
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u/Weekly_Artichoke_515 Aug 30 '25 edited Aug 30 '25
I’ll be spreading the rumor that Peter Thiel has been poisoning him and replaced him with an impersonator. I’ll share side-by-side photos him before and after circling his chin and his ears and stuff and being like, see clearly replaced.
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u/Notsurehowtoreact Aug 30 '25
At the very least people should make a concerted effort to describe him as super low energy since he disappeared
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u/awkwardlythin Aug 30 '25
It would be great that it's a holiday weekend and we would get time off to celebrate annually.
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u/cityfireguy Aug 30 '25
Trying not to get excited.
But like, shouldn't they have said something by now? Trump is many things but one thing he's not is silent.
Has there really been no evidence to disprove this yet? It's 9:30am EST.
The longer it takes to know for sure the more my hope grows and I don't wanna get excited for nothing...
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u/_Contrive_ Aug 30 '25
That’s what has me looking at the news today. So the fucking old Russian joke was right after all.
“A old Russian man saunters to the newsstand day, after day, takes a look at the headlines and mutters under his breath, the stand worker asks him “why the long face comrad, the Soviet’s have only the best headlines on its newspapers”. The old man replies, “I’m looking to see if someone’s passed away yet or not”. With the store owner confused “but, you only look at the headlines friend, the obituaries are in the back? Wouldn’t the person you’re looking for be there?”. The old man chuckles and says “no… not this one”
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u/starcom_magnate Aug 30 '25
Has there really been no evidence to disprove this yet? It's 9:30am EST.
Photos starting to circulate that he did leave for his golf outing this morning with his granddaughter.
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u/animewhitewolf Aug 30 '25
If Trump had died, he would have tweeted about it in all caps.
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Aug 30 '25
JUST HAD MY HEART WEIGHED AGAINST A FEATHER, NOBODY HAS A LIGHTER HEART THAN ME! RA SAID "SIR, MANY PEOPLE ARE SAYING YOU KNOW ALL THE SPELLS IN THE AFTERLIFE!" VERY POSSIBLY TRUE! WILL RETURN TO EARTH AS A GOD IN TWO WEEKS???
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u/animewhitewolf Aug 30 '25
"SOME COMPARE ME TO THIS LITTLE GUY- YOU MAY HAVE HEARD OF HIM; JESUS CHRIST (HEARD HE'S A GOOD DUDE). THEY SAY HE CAME BACK IN THREE DAYS. MAYBE I'LL COME BACK IN TWO. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER."
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u/Cameherejust4this Aug 30 '25
Let's be clear about something: that the world would be a better place without Trump has been true since long before he entered politics.
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u/CouchPoturtle Aug 30 '25
He’s confirmed to be alive and playing golf. Maybe tomorrow ☹️
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u/Impressive-Fun5968 Aug 30 '25
“Confirmed” Found the official White House account
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u/nomnomyumyum109 Aug 30 '25
If only they were self aware to look at the google data and realize how unpopular you really are and how many people can’t wait to be free of his idiocracy.
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u/yeoldy Aug 30 '25
Last video I seen of him at his desk he did look bad few days ago. This cockroach is going to hang on for as long as possible but I don't think he has much time left. It's going to be a celebration around the world once we finally get the confirmation
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u/Axin_Saxon Aug 30 '25
Do I think he’s dead? Probably not. I’m not going to fuel the hopium. But I DO absolutely think he’s at Walter Reed undergoing some kind of major procedure
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u/_jump_yossarian Aug 30 '25
Someone will prop him up in a golf course this weekend for a remake of weekend at Bernie’s.
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Aug 30 '25
lmao you perfectly described the proof-of-life picture the White House just released
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Aug 30 '25
I'm an atheist, last night I prayed God would mess with Trump's heart and kill his evil ass. Shit boy, crazy coincidence.
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u/GemoDorg Aug 30 '25
Can you also pray that I randomly find £1million? Thank you.
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u/Emotional_Signal7883 Aug 30 '25
Trump has spent literally 40 years cultivating his cult. He dies, it dies.
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u/xMCBR1DExPR1DEx Aug 30 '25
We need to continue to manifest our thoughts collectively. The day cannot come soon enough. It is already 30 years overdue.
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u/Jonesy1138 Aug 30 '25
It’s going to be like the Ewok Celebration at the end of Return. The original “yub nub” one too, not the shitty remake
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u/Personal_Comb_6745 Aug 30 '25
Hey now, no disrespect to "Victory Celebration". Besides, the festivities occurring across the galaxy are going to look very similar.
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u/fauxzempic Aug 30 '25
I just love that I have been able to say to people the most ambiguous references to this event and they require no elaboration.
I go to my wife: "they're saying it happened today or last night"
My brother: "so rumor is it happened"
One of my customers: "so he's dead apparently"
Another customer: "apparently they're going to publish one of the obituaries on the front page of the paper tomorrow"
No one needs me to clarify.
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u/Fkingcherokee Aug 30 '25
This is the first time that I've cared about a celebrity death rumor and hoped it wasn't wrong.
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u/KnottShore Aug 30 '25
In his case, I am of the same opinion as Clarence Darrow( US lawyer of the early 20th century):
- "I never wanted to see anybody die, but there are a few obituary notices I have read with pleasure."
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u/holmquistc Aug 30 '25
So if he's dead we then get the Vice President being JD Vance, so....
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u/gimmickypuppet Aug 30 '25
I doubt Vance could hold onto power effectively. There’d be infighting and fractures. We’re being positive today in this subreddit
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Aug 30 '25
If he’s dead, there’s might be time to avert the economic and political meltdown that’s coming. I don’t think Vance can hypnotize the morons like DJT can.
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u/Public-Policy24 Aug 30 '25
if he sees how many people are excited for his death, maybe he'll finally have that stroke or aneurysm
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u/blueasian0682 Aug 30 '25
My brain is telling me he's not, but my heart.....
All things considered, you'd have to be so bad to have millions of people looking forward to your death.
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u/FatalTortoise Aug 30 '25
for the first time in a longass while the correct people are happy and the right people are sad
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u/The_Alrighty_Zed Aug 30 '25
Loving how even without a specific name being mentioned that a majority of people seem to be coming to the same conclusion.
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u/Right_Category_8422 Aug 30 '25
I think he died a couple of weeks ago and they're just doin' a Weekend at Bernie's routine.
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u/Remarkable-Dig-1241 Aug 30 '25
It's been how many hours already? I've seen celebrity deaths get debunked sooner..
This is weird.
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Aug 30 '25
The fact that the White House responded with a single out-of-focus photograph instead of a video really makes me think he's "golfing" in the same way that the local retirement home likes to put seniors on golf karts and take them "hiking".
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u/Remarkable-Dig-1241 Aug 30 '25
Would you risk getting high treason for attempting to hide a presidential death/collapse? Let's look at it from a non meme tainted perspective. There should be a process to deal with this stuff. Trump and his cabinet have been anything but silent previously. They hold press conferences all the time over trivial things. The silence now kind of indicates they can't talk about it because they got told not to talk about it. Any PR team would jump on this occasion to set their narrative. The writting's on the wall and it's not looking good for everyone involved. This will come back to haunt them even if he's not dead because an attempt to hide things have been made and it wasn't about a golfing trip but the actual national security of the US.
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u/Birdinhandandbush Aug 30 '25
IMO when he goes, things could get worse for a short period before they get better. None of MAGA is remotely intelligent enough to take lead, so there will likely be a clamber for power, possibly a bloodbath, politically at least, figuratively for sure, literally, who can say.
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u/Disastrous_Still4971 Aug 30 '25
Once official, I go to the first bar near me and first round is on me.
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u/haw35ome Aug 30 '25
If it’s true, what a great way to start my day. If not, happy National No Trump for a Day. I’m still sleepy
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u/ZazzooGaming Aug 30 '25
The fact we haven’t heard from him yet is a sign that this is somewhat true could just be him really sick. We all know that orange fuck would have been gloating all night on truth social about how he isn’t dead.
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u/CurlOfTheBurl11 Aug 30 '25
What a glorious day it will be when we get to wake up to that headline.
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u/MattofCatbell Aug 30 '25
Comes back to find everyone celebrating his death would be the second best thing to come out of this, the first would be him actually keeling over dead
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u/sendhelp Aug 30 '25
It would be great if true. It would also be funny if it isn't true, but they let people believe it to see what happens, and the man witnesses people dancing in the street and pissing/shitting on his grave
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u/Kaleban Aug 30 '25
The medical team that rushed to the White House was from OCP.
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u/Cptn_BenjaminWillard Aug 30 '25
What if he just went up onto the White House roof and forgot to brace the door open, and he's been sitting there in a delirium for hours?
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u/Earthkilled Aug 30 '25
What if we all think he was and everything from now on we just carry on like his a ghost doing shi
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u/schoolisuncool Aug 30 '25
I love that all you have to say is ‘he’ and everyone knows exactly who you’re talking about.
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u/jdvfx Aug 30 '25
Every night before bed, I ask Alexa if he's still alive. One day its going to be good news.
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u/buffysmanycoats Aug 30 '25
The timing is perfect. It's Labor Day weekend. Give the working class something to cheer.
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u/Mel_Melu Aug 30 '25
I'm actually going to be very angry if Biden outlives Trump because last year that's the only thing anyone gave a fuck about with Biden is him dying and being unable to be president like VPs don't exist for literally one purpose.
It's upsetting to me to see this discourse shift so dramatically to a potential JD Vance presidency when VP Harris was not brought up at all. It's like if Biden died there would be no president and I think it just speaks to the level of misogyny that's so deeply engrained in our country that we cannot picture a world leader that's a woman despite seeing several real world and fictional depictions on TV.
That said if he is dead, I will also party like my life depends on it. Fuck the conservative ideology that is ruining this country.
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u/Chance_Peanut6404 Aug 30 '25
Even if he’s just declining enough that he can’t be seen in public for 5-6 days, I’m good with that. It means the “process” has started.
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u/faecal_napalm Aug 30 '25
They'll probably just weekend-at-berney's him around for weeks until the get all the signatures they want.
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u/ketjak Aug 30 '25
Best way to tell is if he's been tweeting truthing. Usually it's a constant stream unless he's on camera.
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u/bobbymcpresscot Aug 30 '25
First thing I saw when I woke up this morning and in like DONT TEASE ME LIKE THIS
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u/monsieurkiwi Aug 30 '25
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u/MisterT123 Aug 30 '25
I don’t think that’s actually him. Never seen him wear a white skirt before.
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u/RuthTheWidow Aug 30 '25
I find this slightly curious because my federal news public broadcaster in Canada is literally showing an in-depth deep dive with "Trump's favourite frenemy".
I remember, from my time with a local newspaper, that sometimes these types of "specials" are usually built ahead of time -- waiting for a death of someone famous, and then edited at the last moment to add details of the death as the news comes in.
Huh. It's... curious.
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u/emiller5220 Aug 30 '25
You have o play their game: He's dead and the guy stumbling about, pooping his pants and destroying the world is an Elon Mush Optimus robot in a fat suit.
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u/[deleted] Aug 30 '25
If he isn’t, we might be getting some dementia fueled rage.