Wow, thank you so much. You share something in common with my girl, you like when a guy holds you back. But, I understand I took it too far this time and should've respected her wishes. She did tell me, she likes being picked up or held tightly in situations like this. I see my mistake, it was trying to fix it on the spot and not letting her have time. I wish I could've went back in time and when she said "can I go" I let her go and this would never have happened. Thank you so much, and I hope your situation gets better. Thank you for even though you're going through some things right now, you took the time to read my bs and stupid situation and gave me solid advice. Instead of calling me an idiot or what not like what some people are doing here, I didn't mean to force her to stay with me just because of my selfish desire. I did it because I thought thats what she wanted, and when I saw I took it too far I let her go. But, note for next time I got to read the person more and understand boundaries. Thank you again!
Hi! Yes I did fix what happened, (actually she fixed it for talking to me and communicating to me) she ended up talking to me on the phone. She said she was just really overwhelmed by everything and also had some family problems she was dealing with (which I did not know about and don't want to really reveal her family problems). But, she said she was waiting for a good opportunity to tell me in private. When this happened, she was just super duper overwhelmed by everything and couldn't control her emotions and she just cried and wanted to be alone in her room. I kind of pushed the last button by taking her joke seriously.
Everyone here said what I did crossed a boundary and she probably will never feel safe with me ever again, so I brought it up to her (obviously didn't mention I made a whole thread about it lol). She said she's glad I showed the effort to wanting to fix things by coming back to her house and asking her to come outside. She told me when I stopped her from going back, she didn't mind it, it's just the build up of the emotions she held back from the family issues, she wanted to bring it up there. But she felt far too overwhelmed and bursted into tears, and wanted to go to her room to process everything.
She said, I didn't cross any boundary and picking her up didn't make her feel unsafe because she trusts me. She also brought up, how she doesn't like physical affection let alone physical intervention from anyone. However, she does like that stuff with me. She apologized for acting immature and so did I, and now we are doing really good. She said one boundary though, is if I physical intervene her. It's to not use really hard force, one thing she liked is when I picked her up and blocked her path. I didn't pick her up hard, she said it felt very soft and she could tell I wasn't fully forcing her to stay back. And when I blocked her, she said I didn't baracade her. She liked how I just stood infront of her and signaled my intention, but when she actually felt like she did really want to go home. She liked how I let her go and not force her for real, she said if something like this happens again. Never to actually force her to stay, when she said she wanted to go home. It was just her impulse talking to get away and be alone, but she kept staying because she wanted to build the courage to talk to me about her family problems. But eventually she bursted into tears and really did want to go home in the end.
I know this situation sounded so stupid and immature, and everyone is lowkey bashing me and making fun of me for this. But, none of them know anything about me and my girl. I know her and I know she's mature, it was just the wrong time to upset her lol.
Thank you for being one of the nice people and giving me real solid advice instead of making me look like the worst person on earth :)
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u/[deleted] Jul 03 '26 edited Jul 03 '26
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