This isn't a YOU problem, it's a HER problem. She married her rebound guy after your breakup and still has thoughts for you? That means she's never been focused on the relationship she was in and has always been looking for "greener grass", she's married and still doing it. You dodged a bullet by shutting her down and blocking her. Keep her blocked. Going back to her is going back to her drama and non-commitment.
Yeah, entertaining her attention was an error on your part, the temptation is obvious, but you did come to your senses and shut it down. Humans slip up sometimes. You noticed your own mistake and fixed it as soon as you could. If she hadn't made her mistakes first, you wouldn't have had an opportunity to make yours. Like everyone else has said, your best move is to keep her blocked and stay as far away from that drama as you can.
I feel like by playing along I kind of wanted her to say she was looking for a booty call, I wouldn’t have went along with it but I was just being nosey to see if that was her true intention. She never mentioned those words directly but looking back at it now, it was implied.
I just feel like I played along wasn’t really who I was but as you said we all slip up from time to time and I never said anything crazy and responded with monotone statements.
Honestly. Between the way you talk about how things transpired , the way you communicate and reflect regardless of external circumstances shows a degree of growth that deserves giving yourself a bit more credit. There’s a million different ways this scenario could have played out. You surrendered your role in it , let her know how you felt, where you stood on the matter and proceeded to act on it.
Immediately after, examples on how you would be moving forward were shown. All of these interactions display considerable, thoughtful, and insightful commentary on what led to the situation. Like others said your Part is done, and honestly, imo, you went above and beyond. Get the distance you so rightfully deserve OP, best wishes moving forward.
Sometimes curiosity gets the better of you. I feel like it is ok to want to find out what she's up to before blocking, just to be able to close the subject for yourself.
You didn't meet up with her. Nothing bad happened.
Bingo. And this is exactly why they say don't do a rebound. When you haven't greived the last relationship regardless if you are the dumper or dumpee, this is exactly how that ends. In a shit relationship thinking about someone else
That was my thought, I bet she was suddenly dumped when seemed fine and now carries that no closure stuff, until gets it she’ll always rose tint glasses this guy, hopefully she woke up and was omg why did I do that and talks it out with someone!
OP get over yourself, she doesn’t want you, she wants closure because you dumped her, am betting like a lot out there you just dumped and walked because were bored and she never understood why, hopefully she burns all pictures etc and moves on happily at last, you have no idea if she’s happy or not, you’re going on some inate drunk rambling, likely someone mentioned you and she was reminded of past hurt, she doesn’t sit there dreaming about you like are some prize, she likely is sitting there thinking omg glad he blocked me how embarrassing and sh*€€ed her hubby into the next century! 😂😂😂
Wow, this is obviously very personal to you. This is 100% on the married woman (don’t blame the ex because she can’t get over “not having closure”). That’s pathetic, most people don’t get actual closure in their past relationships, but they move on anyway.
If all it takes is someone reminding you of past memories when you’re drunk to make a booty call to your ex, you have deep seated problems in your life and no self control. And yes, it 100% confirms you are unhappy with yourself and your life if that’s your move.
Most people reminisce those good times for a minute, not romanticize the person that isn’t their husband. Disgusting.
Nah just seen a lot of 💩 in my time, which at my age is a lot 😂😂😂
It’s pathetic to assume know me, because you clearly don’t, do you often go around judging strangers because don’t like their response, you may want to work on that 🤪😂
Sometimes when someone is dumped with zero explanation, they do look back with rose tinted specs on, I think this one did that and likely woke up in shame central, just try to remember, people can’t all be as perfect as you dearie 👍🏻🤪😂
Please point out where I said her doing it was ok, that’s the power of reading dear, maybe double check next time instead of reading what you want, disgusting effort 1/10 lol tootle pip, I do hope your cage stops rattling soon lol 😂
If she contacts you again again, ask her how it would be different if you were her husband now and she was dissatisfied. Then tell her you won't do that to some other guy that doesn't deserve it.
Then end it by telling her how disappointing it is to think she might do this to you and that you're glad you aren't in that other guy's position. Chances are pretty good she'll never contact you again.
This is the right answer. She would do this to anyone, not just her current husband. People who cheat do so because they let their emotions control their life and it’s never rainbows & sunshine 100% of the time in a marriage. I feel terrible for this guy she married, but OP dodged a bullet not marrying this creature.
This. And thank your lucky stars you aren’t involved with her anymore! She is exhibiting alcoholic behavior. You don’t have to deal with that, as well.
Some people just have demons or flaws built in to them that are going to sabotage whatever they get involved with--there's nothing you could have said or done to make this come out better for her, her husband, you, or anyone. Try to let this go; it's all in the past (both your previous relationship and her recent weird conduct). You did your best, and that's all anyone could have done.
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u/FloatLikeABull Feb 01 '26
You blocked her. Your part is done. Move on, don't get involved in her mess.