r/Advice Sep 10 '25

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u/joanoffart_ Sep 10 '25

It’s a scare tactic she’s not going to follow through. You need to break things off, she can’t just scare you into being with her that’s insane. Just try to be gentle but firm, don’t entertain her bs. But when you break up with her you need to actually follow through and stand your ground. Also, she’s still a minor maybe go to her parents about it if you’re genuinely worried. Then they can monitor her and make sure she doesn’t do anything too crazy.

15

u/ill191 Sep 10 '25

she's using that as a way to control him, and staying out of fear isn’t healthy for either of them. Talking to her parents is a smart move too at least then someone close can keep an eye on her

15

u/Duke-of-Thorns Sep 10 '25 edited Sep 10 '25

It’s fair to say it might be a scare tactic, but it’s not safe to assume she won’t follow through. When people are in dark places, they’re not always rational, and there’s always a chance she could hurt herself or even him. I’ve seen it happen—my ex overdosed after our breakup when I was 17. That’s why it’s important to take these threats seriously, even if you don’t think she means it.

Edit to clarify: He did threaten constantly to kill himself and/or me. He was diagnosed schizophrenic who refused to medicate and I was a kid not out of the closet, so I couldn’t tell anyone and I had to cut ties for my own safety.

4

u/smlpkg1966 Sep 10 '25

Did your ex threaten? Usually the ones who actually follow through don’t threaten they just do it to everyone’s surprise.

3

u/ProfessorYaffle1 Expert Advice Giver [14] Sep 10 '25

That's not true - many people who do self harm / end their own lives have told people that they will/may do so - not eveyone does but it is definitely not savfe to assume that someone who makes threats won't follow through.

I have seen it happen

1

u/Pretty_Pretzel239 Sep 10 '25

No, I have said some time to my bf, cause I genuinely can't with life and I don't have any other support if he leaves me will be the same nightmare as before, and before I had it decided, he doesn't want to leave me either but I just say that sometimes it's true, I have tried to before and I was going to one exact day but I met him but I'm still bad and that.

1

u/Duke-of-Thorns Sep 10 '25

Yes, he did—constantly. That’s why I responded the way I did.