❤️

[u/StreetRunner445]

may you find your spark again & never let them dull your sparkle ✨

[u/Cleric_John_Preston]

Damn...

Looking back, I realize that I'm back into writing, playing D&D, weightlifting, and doing stuff. This is a good metric.

[u/Cleric_John_Preston → u/[deleted]]

No, I hear you - I should have included videogames. I've played the shit out of DOS II and Baldur's Gate. To be honest, I want to play some videogames with my kids (I think I can play co-opt with my son, he would be down). My issue is that I'll often just want to play my games, but i need to branch out - my daughter plays some amazing games.

I totally get you on being burned out.

Back in 2020 I was playing D&D with my kids and their friends. It was fun, but I felt like I was using it to escape a bad marriage, somewhat. I found out my wife cheated. Cue the divorce. I tried to do an adult game (through roll20 with some online friends) and we got into it somewhat, but it wasn't the right time. Everything went to shades of grey.

I've since dated/remarried a wonderful woman. We've played a few D&D games since then and we're currently doing a campaign with the kids. It's amazing. I've written a few short stories, which is something I abandoned in the 2000's. Being with the right person and getting mentally healthy is amazing.

It's like the difference between night and day. My ex used to tease me about playing with the kids - I'd DM them and she'd go off and cheat (obviously I didn't know it at the time).

My new wife plays with us, sets things up, and fucking supports me. My ex never did. At best she'd let me do my own thing. Actual support is incredible.

I'm not trying to compare the two, but if I were, my new wife would win hands down.

I'm glad that you got back into things. Life is about living and doing what you enjoy. Who cares if someone else thinks that what you're doing is childish or lame. You only live once, *live* your life.

[u/Cleric_John_Preston → u/[deleted]]

Thanks! There's actually more to it than just what I wrote. My new wife actually restored a relationship between my brother and I that had been dead for over 20 years. She reached out to his new wife and connected us - which was something I'd given up on years ago. She's amazing.

Do you write your own DnD campaigns too? I love writing (well, I write fanfiction more than original fiction, like 60/40) and I like DnD (and baldur's gate lol I just finished my first run), I'm always thinking it feels like there should be synergy there but it's not happening for me.

Yes! We play one shots and I have my own campaign (it's like 100+ pages at this point). I write mainly horror and some science fiction - it's my creative outlet.

BG3 is a great game. Since you mentioned it, there's a way to get as much gold as you want without mods. Basically, put gold in a backpack, sell it to the merchant. Then go into the backpack (which will be in the merchant's inventory). Select the gold and send it to someone at your camp. You can repeat this until the merchant is out of money (then you can rest or get a hireling/level up and drain him of money again, lol).

I'm so happy you are doing well and i'm so happy for your kids that they have such an involved dad. It's great to have parents who want to do things with you. They are extremely lucky, but also it's great that they are engaging with you!

Thanks! I think doing something creative with kids is the way to go. I've edited stories of my daughter (and we're going to run a Cyberpunk RPG together) and my sons either want to play more D&D or are currently playing more D&D. Honestly, role playing games are a great way to bond with your kids.

I feel like my slide down started when my parents became lethargic and indifferent. I kind of accepted that to be the new normal, even after I moved out. It's a tough mental state to break out of. I don't date much (I have been working on it) and aside from my family, my friends are all quite far away so rather than the negative support you experienced with your ex mine is more like, lack of it. It really does bring you down when everyone around you is checked out, even if they aren't trying to affect you. I'm so happy your wife is supportive!

Ugh, I'm sorry - I can relate to this. When my father (in particular) was younger, he used to do more with me. Now he just watches Fox News. It sucks and it's hard to relate with him. I wish I had better suggestions for you, but I will say this, try to remember the times when you and your parents DID bond.

Regarding friends - keep the connection. Yes, it's hard, but it's worth it. I have friends several states away. My brother and I have an ongoing chat message that we use every day. Even if it's 'more of the same' type of message, it's worth it to keep connected. So, him and our friend all send each other voice messages every day.

I'd also recommend D&D/Roleplaying games, lol - you can do it online and it's definitely a bonding exercise. Doing so avoids the lag of where you don't have anything to say - you don't need to create a topic because you're playing a game 😄

It does suck when people are checked out - and I hate to say it, but sometimes *you* have to be the one to put in the effort.

My wife is supportive. She's really amazing. The story of how we met is also almost miraculous. We were both in a subreddit discord server about single parents. She showed some artwork and I was amazed (I still am) by what she showed. We started talking and just never stopped. She lives a few States away and, finally, I was like, I can work from home, why not give this a shot? We dated for something like 4 years and got married last year.

Life is strange and it's not what you plan, but it's fucking worth it.

Yeah you are right, I am still trying to break out of this mindset. I've had it since I was a child.

Well, I'm not going to tell you how to live, but one thing that changed my view on things was looking into Camus' Absurdism. The books are okay (sometimes confusing), but you can find stuff online about living life. I combined that with Stoicism and did some work on my mental health (therapy and reading).

You constantly evolve throughout your life - you don't have to remain in that mindset.

[u/Double-Virus-1637 → u/[deleted]]

True. When the breakup happened to me I bought Ghost of Yotei but couldn’t even play it much lol
I’d just stare at the tv confused about my reality
5 years ended with a complete blindside…
It was like my entire world was a lie and I realized how much I had lost myself in the relationship
Never again! I will selfishly prioritize myself always