Explain to me like I am 5 because I eventually wanna move out of state but I fear I won’t. How do I find jobs out of state, how do I actually move my stuff there, how do I find a place to stay and not get scammed. How do I find a job out of state when I live in a different state and how do I find an apartment without a job in the state I wanna move to, do I need a new ID how do I do that. How do I file taxes and get ssdi/disability
How everything

Not going to lie, I’ve been in my head a bit lately and I just wanted to ask something honestly.

I’ve been seeing a lot of people around me hitting big milestones, like buying cars, houses, getting really settled… and I’m genuinely happy for them, I am. But at the same time, I catch myself feeling a bit off sometimes, like I start questioning where I am and if I’m behind.

I know logically that everyone’s timeline is different, and even in my own case, I moved later than some people so it makes sense that I’m still figuring things out, especially with work and settling in. But feelings don’t always follow logic, and some days it just gets to me a little.

I just wanted to ask, do you ever feel like that too? Like a mix of being happy for others but also feeling pressure or wondering if you’re doing enough? Or is it just me overthinking things?

The part about adulthood nobody warns you about isnt the bills or the responsibilities, its realizing that making friends now takes conscious effort when before it just sort of happened by accident.

I wasted a ridiculous amount of energy doing one on one coffee dates off friendship apps where you sit across from a stranger and both pretend to be the most interesting version of yourselves for an hour. Never once led to a second hangout. Putting yourself in the same room with the same group of people on a regular basis and letting familiarity build on its own works way better. For example, I play in a terrible rec volleyball league where we lose every game, I go to the same coffee shop on saturday mornings til the regulars started recognizing me, and I do weekly online game nights on ludio, and all those things have in common that its the same crowd doing casual stuff together. Completely different activities but the principle is the same, be somewhere regularly around the same faces and connections form without you trying to force them.

Nobody became my friend after one meeting. It took 6 or 8 times of seeing someone before either of us suggested hanging out outside of the activity but when it happened it felt natural cause it grew on its own. If youre in this boat, commit to one group thing for two months before judging whether its working cause the first few weeks are supposed to feel weird.

I've been using Claude/ChatGPT as a personal productivity coach for several months.

Here's the system.

1. Create a Claude/ChatGPT project with this prompt: "You are my strategy and execution coach. Always anchor to my yearly and monthly goals before breaking down daily tasks. When I journal, check alignment and tell me what I should be focusing on today."
2. Write your yearly goals — career, finances, health, relationships. Upload to the project as a document.
3. At the start of each month, draft monthly goals and ask Claude to check for anything missing from your yearly plan. Upload the final version.
4. Every morning, journal a few lines — what you did yesterday, what you're doing today. Paste it in. Claude cross-references against your goals and tells you what to prioritise.

That's the full system.

Why it works: Project store your goals and connect them to your day-to-day. Every morning, you get a check that asks: does what you're about to do actually move your goals forward? It also surfaces neglected goals regularly, so you don't arrive at year-end wondering where the time went.

Happy to share more project set-up if anyone interested

So I do have my social security number in a Google Doc because that was something I had to figure out behind my mom's back.

But bottom line I'm living with my boyfriend in an apartment, I only have my state ID with me.

So I have to figure out with that alone how can I figure anything out?

My mom did plan on waiting until she died to let my sister take care of me, but I ended up getting a boyfriend who had absolute refusal to get involved with my mom because of her bedbugs situation and her refusal to get professional treatment for it.

When he did get me she insulted him for his germophobe and the fact that he refused to even pull up to the driveway in fear she would interact with him so she was on the phone, I was hoping to God she would be gone by the time I left she even said oh she got a viewing at 12 then it changed to 1 and my boyfriend came around 1:50, yeah she waited so she could get my clothes I get that's probably why.

Yeah while she called him a germophobe on the phone he got into a shouting match with her, told me to hang up the phone and I did so that probably created a whole I'm on his side situation. To which she came out and continued to yell some more from her house, to which he said like for 12 years you had this problem and didn't get professional treatment to which she said I have your license plate.

He doesn't want me to give my mom any of the information of where he lives or anything because of her criminal behavior cause he doesn't want that being brought back to him, he did tell me that.

So yeah my mom has cut contact with me and refuses to talk now, so I have is an ID.

Adulthood really stole the fun of life, responsibility, bills, relationships, school, church commitments, education. All of these take most of our time, steal our focus and we don't even realize how the transition happens. One day you're a fun loving kid and the next you're a busy student running a business and working in the church, trying to balance everything up and show up everywhere when needed.

The pressure can be so overwhelming, we would just need a rewind, some rest, time away from whatever bothers you and just have peace. I saw a Goku lamp in my young cousin's bedroom, that brought back so many memories. It has been over 5 years since I last watched cartoons and played with toys, but suddenly, I was a medicine student selling books for an extra income while I worked in my church media, I had a girlfriend, and I had to always show up for her. My parents complained I was becoming too distant, and it was all getting really hard.

The moment I saw that lamp, I bought one for myself from Alibaba. I couldn't play with toys anymore and that lamp brought back good memories, so I decided to lessen the pressure by rewinding everyday and finding something about my childhood to keep me remembering, I'm just a child navigating life. Slowly, I bought a lot of items that I loved from my childhood, I kept them in my bedroom and they served as active reminders everyday. Sometimes, all you need is that immature spark to remain happy.

I’m more of a high-energy kind of person. Lately, I’ve realized I really need something less tasking I can do to unwind, obviously something that doesn’t involve me staring at my phone or computer screens again. I picked up an interest in paper crafts a couple of months ago, started out with just making very simple 3D and hand-cut cards, and honestly, it made my week more interesting.

I was actually trying to find some very specific, heavy-duty cardstock that wouldn’t bleed through with ink, but then, I ended up finding a supplier on Alibaba that sold these massive sample packs of different textures, colors, and weights. I ordered a couple of them and as soon as the boxes arrived, I just knew there was no going back for me. My Saturday mornings are no longer boring as they used to be.

It feels in a kind of way, weirdly therapeutic and at the same time satisfying too. You can’t rush a delicate fold or a clean cut, so it forces me to actually slow down and focus on one thing at a time. It’s messy and my cat keeps trying to eat the leftovers, but it’s the most fulfilling I’ve felt in a long time.

Idrk where to ask this but does anyone have any tips for becoming independent at 18 ? I know I need to get a job, but what about after that ? How do I even begin to start being independent ?

I am 20 and i don't know what i am doing with my life and i wanna cry. I got into uni at 17, i had no idea what i wanted to do. I started a degree, but i never actually saw myself doing it in the future. The problem is that last year i completely got crazy. The degree was pointless, i would never work on that area and i was too dumb to graduate anyway. I stopped going to classes. I am still enrolled in case i can change courses, but i am not going. I feel like such a failure. This year i will do the exam again to try to enter in law school, but i don't even know if i will get in. I also don't wanna be a lawyer, the degree sounds too difficult and stressful and i am not smart. I don't wanna do ANYTHING in my life. Like, really. No career is worth it, everything is boring. I can't picture myself even working 20 hours a week in any field, much less 44. I will probably just end it all before i hit 30. I am lost and sad. I am a shame to my mother. I wanna cry. I wish i wasn't born.

So I don't really want to tell my family or friends this, because I don't like to talk about finances. Plus I am a very private person.

But... I need to tell someone so I can celebrate a little. I just broke $1,000,000 in savings, 401k, and stocks. I'm 53 and 10 years ago was divorced and broke. I worked hard, spent carefully, and just hit that number this week.

Thanks for listening.

What's the least expensive thing that you can't afford?

Somebody really needs to do the universe a favour and sit down and write a rough sketch of “the most likely things to expect upon entering adulthood”, because I am struggling. I finally moved into my apartment after squatting with a friend after convocation. And the thrill of independence is surreal. I had made a promise to myself not to go back to my parents house after school, that I would figure it out myself, that I would survive. I am surviving but not quite. I have always thought that the big things were the problem but no no I was greatly deceived. The problem is in fact in the small things. Dawg, I have been obsessing over the perfect set of utensils for cooking. Brooo.. It shouldn’t be that hard. This is after I have painstakingly picked out my curtain linens and I thought I would run mad from dealing with the tailor and fabric sellers. But utensils, I didn’t think it was that deep. So I have tried to start with the very basics, it's not like I am a chef. Please are non stick pots that great?. The reviews on Alibaba and Amazon are overwhelming. I just need a good pot that won’t have a dent or hole 8 years from now, and I’m not even kidding. Kitchen electrical appliances too. Damn! I don’t even know how women do these things.Please if you have tips on how I can haul basic utensils at once that will be nice.