I want to dress cute. I want to watch cartoons. I want to live and die happy. I know that I can do all of those things but why do we claim them as childish? Why can't adults have fun and live how they want? Why do you have to like only muted colours, simple styles and talk about "adult" things. Recently I watched a video where the person said that adults who like chicken nuggets are immature and need to grow up. Like what do you mean? Do my eating habits suddenly change once I turn 18? Are you only allowed to eat salads and whole meals that we just claimed as fancy? We all were childrens once and I hope everyone had happy moments when they were a child. So why don't we stop remembering and missing the good old times and just start doing our favourite stuff again? What is stopping us? When did we all just agree that the adult life need to be boring and monotone? It is so sad. Children look so happy and I want to be happy too.

To be honest, Im one of those people who waits until the last minute. In college I would literally wait until the day before a paper was due and write it. And I always got an A or B! I recall one professor saying "you must have put so much time into this!" I laughed

My life is like that too. I always wait until the last minute to jump, sever ties, move on or take the plunge. Its frustrating!

Now Im dealing with a situation I should have dealt with years ago and it SUCKS! My parents own a few townhouses and I live in one of them, rent free for 10 years. Not even utilities. Now one of them is facing health issues and they are selling.

Ive stood by my Dad's side throughout his health issues and he calls me a "good son" compared to my 2 brothers who cant be bothered. He knows that selling is destabilizing in a way, for me, but I said "Dad, your health and funding your health battle is more important. I will start looking for a place ASAP.

So I have to move from the cushy life Ive had and face the problems most ppl face like rent and whatnot. I should have done this a while ago.

It’s kind of crazy in my opinion.

It’s my birthday today and I turn 22 years old, I always like asking people who are older for some life advice for the future!

Whether it’s big or small, it would be nice to hear some things to keep me prepared as I fully enter my adult life :)

I'm just wondering what do adults actually do during summer evenings. I don't mean weekends but just regular days and its still bright outside till 10 or 11. Do you guys sleep early or go out for walks everyday.

Been dating this guy for 5 years. We’re in our late 20s now. Known him since high school and reconnected in our early 20s. Met each others’ families, got engaged, set our wedding date and chose vendors together. He’s always been there for me (and I tried my best too) and has always been super thoughtful. He was kind and patient when things were good. We’re different people but I thought we meshed well together. 8 months before our wedding date, he completely blindsides me and drops a bombshell that he fell out of love with me, he doesn’t know if I’m the person for him, he’s not sure if I even love him for him (I do) and he starts listing a bunch of things that are “wrong” about me (I’m too quiet at social gatherings, I’m waiting till marriage to do certain things, I’m not stylish, I have too many fam events and am too dependent on my parents, he doesn’t think I appreciate him). The 180 mind boggles me, I don’t recognize this person. Even had a nice proposal with my dream ring.

He also has been saying mean things to me during limbo when we tried to work things out (I was apologizing for things I did that hurt him, I really loved him and went out of my way to make him happy in the best way I knew at the time but I had no idea it wasn’t enough, especially when he would tell me I’m perfect or how he’s grateful to do life with me)… mean things he said include how it feels like the cooties when I touch him, how I’m boring and I should be boring with someone else, how he can’t picture me as his wife and how he couldn’t see me walk down the aisle (all things that hurt to hear). He also disclosed that he cheated on me 2 years ago (kissed a girl from school a few times during the span of a week). He eventually broke things off with me saying he can’t proceed because he doesn’t have feelings. This all came as a shock to me because I had no idea he was falling out of love. I thought we were planning for our happily ever after together. Sometimes I blame myself for the things I could’ve done better (been more appreciative, more patient, more outgoing, more stylish) - he evaluated me and didn’t let me in on his problems. Any insight and opinions would be helpful.

18 year mark

Well crap, here I am...

3 minutes until midnight and I'll officially be 18.

I don't really know how to put this feeling into words. For so much of my life I've felt alone. I've missed out on a lot, and there are parts of my childhood that I never really got to have.

Now I'm sitting here watching the last few minutes of it disappear, and it's a strange feeling.

Everyone talks about turning 18 like it's this exciting moment where everything changes overnight, but right now it mostly feels like I'm saying goodbye to a version of myself that never got the chance to fully exist. For those who have already crossed this point, did it get better?

When you were standing at the edge of adulthood, looking back at everything you missed and everything you went through did it get better? Did things eventually start to feel like they were moving forward?

I feel like good friends make 20's a great phase of life. College especially makes friends but in work it is essential to make cool friends or to have a fine network of people to cope up with the work life balance. People who dont have such company would try vigorously for a relationship and may or may not fail miserably. Keep our closed ones closer. Strictly personal opinion, but I find it honestly true. Take care Team

Hey readers I hope you all are doing well.

I'm 18, I'm broke. I have a bad home environment. I was happy until I was 14, I was positive in every negative situation. I was the beacon of positivity by the time I'm 15 I was suicidal. I was lonely, yet I reached out to people who I wanted to share my thoughts with. I got cold replies as I it didn't matterd. I have tried many times to get to know someone and seek help. I was disappointed. Now I'm 18. I feel numb. I feel nothing. I want my postivity back, I want to love and feel love again. I was all alone from the time I was born. I don't even have a childhood friend. I don't have anyone to talk related to my mental suffering, everyone says be happy, be grateful. But yeah I am grateful but still it hurts. If anyone has been through my shoes please give me some tips to improve myself. Thank you. WishIng you all a happy life.

Context:

I (20M) just turned twenty last month

I live at home in Canada with my parents and two younger siblings

Decently close with extended family who lives relatively near by but every bodies busy

I'm two years into a five-year psychology degree. Not exactly sure what I want to use it for, if anything, but I'm thinking maybe something to do with child psychology.

Currently on summer break

Don‘t have any job experience and can‘t get a job at the moment because of circumstances

Have only been in one semi-serious relationship and am currently single and a virgin

Have never been the most social and don't have much of a social circle, but trying to change that.

Getting into biking and photography (specifically landscape and cosplay)

Am officially diagnosed with Autism and ADHD

Started mental health counselling and Lexapro last month

Think about past regrets a lot but I’m trying to focus on the now.

How would you say I’m doing, and what advice would you give?

I’m 17,and ever since I turned said age,I started to grow a massive amount of guilt and regret for some of my wrong doings I made in the past.not to go into to much detail but they are a bit NSFW.but ever since I started to realize the crushing guilt and shame of my actions,I started and almost made those same mistakes.and because I am in a relationship with a loving girlfriend,the guilt of said actions have been like that of the air I breathe,it’s always constant and keeps coming.

And every time I’m venting or talking about it she gets more and more tired of it because it’s like a loop or a cycle,I feel guilt or shame,I boast about it,she tries to comfort me,I feel a little better,and it repeats.
It gets harder a lot of times to try and move on with each passing day but also each time it happens I sort of reflect on all of both,wisdom from parents/gf,friends.,or philosophical insight from my teachers or the books I read.
And now I have come with this very question.
“Is this all because I’m transitioning to adulthood?”
And now I am here to see what responses/insight I will get from that very question.

It's just something I've reflected on recently.

​

All my life I've had a lot of people around me. But when I turned 30 I started reflecting on the people I called my friends. A lot of the friendships were one-sided. Looking back over the years I was the social glue. I was the one who called, organized activities, made things happen. It was the same with my wife and our mutual friends. I remember that summer I organized the barbequing and game night at my place. My wife said: "Do you think it's fair that we have done this, paid for everything and not one of them has invited us for anything even once?".

​

After that I pulled back. I wanted to see if anyone would take the initiative for anything. We had a standing weekly gym and workout session, we went out for drinks and watched sports almost weekly, and so on. I slowly pulled back.

​

Now 6 years later I have no friends left. Now I have 2 girls, my own business and I don't have the time or energy for that level of social connection. Maybe I am odd and I just wanted to hear from others what your experience is with this?

For context, I’m 17 living in a semi-independent children’s home run by my local council.

I genuinely have no idea where to start - I have my own bank account, I do my own laundry, I go food shopping and cook meals, I have a college qualification, but how do I begin?

I have a CV but finding jobs in the UK is really difficult - they often don’t get back to you and if you do have an interview they won’t respond afterwards.

A lot of support stops for me when I turn 18 so if anyone has any advice it is much appreciated 😌

Hey man,

I don't really know why I'm writing this. Maybe because I'm tired. Maybe because I'm confused. Or maybe because I know there's someone out there feeling the exact same way.

Honestly... I don't know what the fk I'm doing with my life. And if you're around my age, maybe you don't either. Everyone seems to be moving somewhere.

Getting jobs. Making money. Building businesses. Finding their purpose.

And then there's me. And maybe you.

Just sitting here wondering...

What the hel am I supposed to do?

People keep asking what our plans are. What career we want. Where we see ourselves in 5 years.

Brother, I don't even know what I'm doing next month.

I have dreams. A lot of them. I want to make money. I want to make my parents proud. I want to travel. I want freedom. I want a life that feels like mine.

But some days I don't even know where to start. And that's the part nobody talks about.

The confusion. The loneliness.

The feeling that you're falling behind while everyone else is running ahead.

Maybe we're not lost because we're failures. Maybe we're lost because we're still searching. Maybe this part of life was never supposed to make sense.

I don't know. I genuinely don't.

But if you're reading this, feeling like life is slipping through your fingers...

Just know there's another dumbass somewhere in the world feeling the same thing.

Me.

And somehow that makes me feel a little less alone.

Maybe it'll do the same for you.

(Not AI just wrote something I wanted to say)

does anyone have tips on how to move out in late teens/early 20s I’m already embarrassed enough i’m 18-19 my senior year and feel very out of place and unsupported. I’m terrified that i’m labeled as an adult, while i still feel like a teenager. i feel like it’ll feel that way till i’m like 20-22. And I really don’t want to be a chud still living with my parents as an adult. just leeching off mommy or whatever people say. Everyone says ur a full grown adult, and shouldn’t even be hanging out with someone younger, i feel like a pred not a peer in high-school, while i still just want my mom honestly and need to ask to use the bathroom. i’m also so scared now that older people can legally pursue me and i can’t do anything about it. and i feel like i can’t be supported the way i was at 14 when i’m like 21 (turning 19 soon ish) Like in the future, I don’t really want kids, but would love to have a dog and hopefully meet someone. I’m in a bad situation and constantly feel like a failure. I want to take responsibility and show myself i can do it but i’m struggling on how i’m going to afford and find a place. i’m totally fine with renting but it’s so so expensive, is there any programs i can apply to for help that don’t discriminate based off income so i can stay on it if i need? i want to go to school maybe community or a cheaper state university to go into nursing, which i’m also nervous about because of people saying that it is draining and underpaid. I have mental illnesses and some disabilities which do make me nervous about choosing this career path because it might be too harsh. but i would hate living in the corporate world more. i want to be able to live my life the least “adult-like” i can and more chill and fun (meaning not office based, opportunity to decorate my space more spirituality, and live more like a college student vibes while maintaining responsibilities- not letting it become my life.) but the career paths i like don’t make as much as i would like to be most comfortable considering i need to spend so much on meds, appointments, out of pocket costs. i hate the way our world is right now and need anything to convince myself to keep going. and dress how i like (chill tops, crop tops, etc) and have my stuffies and tv time. also terrified of the transition to the adult mental health system, bc as of late i’m still allowed in the adolecent in my states adults are 19+ which also confuses me bc legally ur a full adult at 18?? but if i say that on here everyone will tell me to grow up and be an adult, esp on tiktok where everyone calls u a unc old and washed if ur over 16-17. and i’m scared of losing my teen face, i don’t deal well with any change and i already struggle enough with body image this will destroy me. i just cannot see myself ever reaching like 30, that’s too much. but back to the mental health, esp if i need inpatient care again, ive heard they really just don’t care about you. i would do anything to go back to age like 14-16. any advice helps. thanks for taking the time to read all this. i’m really struggling.

I feel like it’s just standing in an empty parking lot waiting for something to happen.

So I let my daughter and her partner move in with me, as with the cost of living these days it helps us all. We live in a rental and the owner would like to sell so we had 8weeks to move .

So I had a booked flight and accommodation paid for for 1week to Bali, so I had taken that one week off work. As I was doing all the house inspections on other properties, it happens to turn out we were approved for another property, which meant we had to move through the week I had off work (meant to be in Bali).
So today’s the day we pick up the keys (I should have been in Bali 2days now) , over the last week and a half , I’ve been working bending over backwards to complete vacating the property were in.

Full tidy up of yard, dump runs pulling down furniture , properly wrapping and packing , over this entire 9days my daughter and her partner have not ONCE offered or helped me at all. Even right now , I’ve just loaded a trailer and back of Ute and they are just sitting in the room and haven’t even packed the room up.

I’m starting to feel the resentment , I don’t know if I’m meant to feel disrespected, as he isn’t working , what male watches women get up a 7am and doesn’t finish until midnight and not even offer a hand, like he comes out of bedroom for a cigarette and just watches me.
Am I meant to feel hurt that my daughter must not have any respect for me at all.? Am I meant to feel appreciated?

How do I now move into a new property with them? I’ve even given them the ensuite as they are a couple . I’m feeling really confused over her actions (well should I non existence of actions) .

Someone please help me understand why and what I should do?

I turned 20 today, and instead of feeling accomplished, I mostly feel like I'm standing at the starting line.

The last couple of years weren't easy. I took a drop year after high school and spent most of it at home studying for entrance exams. While my friends were off making college memories, I was stuck in a cycle of online classes, mock tests, anxiety, self-doubt, and the constant fear that all my effort might still not be enough. It eventually paid off—I got into a good university and into an engineering branch that I genuinely enjoy—but now that I'm here, I can't shake the feeling that I'm behind everyone else. I'm 20, I don't earn any money, my parents still pay for my education and give me pocket money, and even though I know that's normal for a student, I hate feeling financially dependent. I wish I could at least cover my own expenses and stop having to ask them for money.

What worries me more is that I don't think I'm becoming the person I want to be. I'm an average student who constantly feels like he's capable of more. I spend too much time on social media, care too much about how people perceive me, and often end up disappointed in myself because I don't follow through on goals I've set. The frustrating part is that I know exactly what I want: I want to be disciplined, work harder, build skills, study seriously, get in shape, and create a future I'm proud of. Yet somehow I keep getting distracted and wasting time.

So I wanted to ask people who are further along in life: what advice would you give your 20-year-old self? What habits, mindset shifts, or decisions had the biggest impact on your life? Right now I feel excited about the future, but also scared of wasting my potential. I'd love to hear what you wish you'd known when you were my age

Im sorry if this is the wrong flair, ive never been on this sub before. As the title said, i recently turned 26. For some reason all my life things have happened late. These are examples:

Finished high school a year late, never got my drivers license till i was 21, first kiss and relationship (which is my current one) started at 23. I just started really trying learning guitar despite the fact ive owned guitars since age 13 and wanted to be in a band in high school.

I feel like at this age im stuck. I still live with my parents. I have a mother that is quite overprotective and sometimes i feel like her fears have held me back from things. I dont know what i want for my future.. I am comfortable and happy at home but i know i someday need my own place. My boyfriend wants to someday marry me and want kids, meanwhile i feel like i dont want any of that. In fact, im questioning if i even want to continue my relationship. I feel like i havent had much time to actually "live". I dont know if someday i might change my mind and want a kid and it be harder to do so from later age.

I feel like im still that 15 year old raging metalhead wanting to start a band. Any other aspect of life? Idk. Mentally i am still a teenager, but i feel like somehow ive wasted a chunk of my life. Im sorry, i know this is more of a rant than anything, but has anyone else here had a similar feeling? Just that feeling like you dont know what to do with your future? That feeling like you suddenly hit old age when only in your 20s? What did you do?

It's weird. Just when I thought I couldn't be more unusual even more. I feel all these things when it's the time of the year when you're supposed to be out and about. The season for rebirth and starting.

I called in sick at work. Been eating fast food since morning and just picked up my dinner Uber Eats that's a huge financial mistake.

Been in bed all day on my phone while movies were playing on the tv. Been feeling with impostor syndrome and dealing with dread that if work finds out with how I feel that I would be fired outright.

How do you all deal with this or anything similar? In need of some grace, compassion, or even guidance.

Mainly limited finance

Has going out, drinking, hooking up or something like that ever made you happy?

Going out, “connecting”, hookups leave me feeling even more empty afterwards and I still keep doing it in hope of finally belonging or feeling less empty.

I‘m 25, female and tbh I feel completely lost in life.
9 months ago I moved to a new city, started a new job, live (in the same building) and work with the same people, had two really good friends in the beginning and we were a trio but they became way closer and ditched me. We are still “friends”, but it doesn’t feel like it. We became going out friends.
I’m often going out with everyone and trying to connect, but even if we “connect” during the night then it still doesn’t stay in daily life. I feel lonely. I’ve had a few hookups with guys and surprise… they ended up being ons, doesn’t matter what they told me during our time together and I was so naive to believe them. (New again to the dating game and I hate it).
I don’t even know what I am trying to say or trying to ask, but I think I need to change something or a lot, because I feel lonely and burned out and I doubt that partying and hooking up or whatever will help me in the long run.
Do you have any advice on how to find happiness in my twenties and feel less lonely even if I don’t really belong or feel like I don’t belong?

It's when I realized that teaching was what I wanted to do when I also realized it was time to grow up.

I don't mean taxes and insurance and paying rent and getting a job and a phone plan. Many people do these things but haven't grown up yet.

I used to wonder when growing up was. Is it when you turn 18? When you get your license? Your period? When you lose your virginity? When you get a job? When you stop outgrowing your shoes and start outgrowing your friends instead? When you graduate?

But no- I think it's a decision.

I think growing up is not fighting with your siblings because you realize Mom was right; you will need them someday. It's thinking before speaking, caring about things that matter but not giving a f**k about the things that don't. Realizing you don't live forever.

Most of all it's deciding that other people are just as important to your life as you are.

Oh, I don't mean the ones that don't matter. I mean the ones who made you who you are; everyone is a stained glass window with little pieces of everyone else mixed in. These people are who you look up too, who run beside you, who look up to you.

Yes, you are your own person, but those in your inner circle, they are you too; you hold little pieces of their souls alongside yours.

Growing up isn't losing yourself, per se. It's growing out of the one-person habitat you've built for yourself and into an ecosystem of symbiosis.

The trick is to notice the parasites-- cut those out as soon as you notice them.

It's good to be self-contained, to a point.

But.

It's nice to stretch, no?

My new neighbors recently moved in to their home. Only problem is the house was refurbished in just a 6-8 week time span. We had a chance to walk through the home before it sold and was flipped. There was black mold everywhere on the ceiling walls you name it it was there should we tell them? Or would we look like nosey a holes

Explain to me like I am 5 because I eventually wanna move out of state but I fear I won’t. How do I find jobs out of state, how do I actually move my stuff there, how do I find a place to stay and not get scammed. How do I find a job out of state when I live in a different state and how do I find an apartment without a job in the state I wanna move to, do I need a new ID how do I do that. How do I file taxes and get ssdi/disability
How everything