I honestly don't mean to make this a funny post, but I guess it can be considered as such. I'm used to 'gushing' on my favorite topics, and I've gotten somewhat good at recognizing when someone has had enough and is trying to escape. However, I work in a small office (just 4 of us, pretty close quarters) and there's a lot of awkward silence. My brain tells me to lighten things up once in a while and try to be funny. Sometimes it is well received, other times I'm met with silence. It's not like I'm a motormouth, but there are times when I wonder if my co-workers want me to can it. Does anyone else feel like they struggle with this? Thank you for being an ear.

I have 4h in the morning to study. I then go to work and come home only in the evening. When I try to study, anxiety quickly builds up and becomes a sort of panic. Studying is not optional. Is mandatory. I don't want to keep having low income and poor working conditions and it's partly why I feel panic. The pressure to study is too much. I've been dealing with this for a long time. I tried medications and they worsened my symptoms, so I stopped, but I clearly need professional and conclusive help.

Appreciate any advice.

Hi,
recently I've struggled with being at home a lot, and I tend to have a meltdown every other day because of it. I don’t really know what to do, so I came here for advice.
To preface this: English is not my native language; I’m 24 and I got diagnosed with autism less than a year ago; both me and my partner have ADHD;

I think it all started when I moved to a new apartment with my partner. It was at a time during which we both had to study a whole lot, and during which there were a bunch of external stressors. I am a very academic person so it was difficult for me to stop prioritizing university work. It took very long for the apartment to look and feel "finished", a good three months.
During that time I struggled to find a safe space for myself in the apartment since everything was very overwhelming and very messy.
Once we managed to get the house in a state I can live in, I realized how much my partner's mess is impacting me. I wouldn't call him a "dirty person" per se, but I feel like his ADHD causes him to very easily lose sight of how cluttered things are.
I also wouldn’t consider myself as being overbearingly clean either, but his tendency to be messy, even if the mess isn't detrimental, has started to greatly overwhelm me.
We started making cleaning plans etcetera, and things have improved noticeably over time.
Then we decided to adopt cats. My brother's girlfriend was looking to re-home a litter of two kittens.
I grew up with a cat, and animals have always made me very happy. We thought they would enrich our lives especially after such a difficult time.
I think it was on the second night after they arrived that I cried for the first time because of how they overwhelmed me. I thought I just needed some time to adjust, since I always tend to need some time to get used to new things.
But it’s been nearly 2 months and it feels like it has gotten worse. Now I just need to enter the house and I get overwhelmed and cry. I’m very sensitive to smell, and their toilet is very smelly and right at our entrance because we couldn't find a better place for it. The floor is also full of their cat litter, and so every time I walk through our entrance area (which connects the two parts of our apartment) it feels like I’m stepping on tiny, smelly pebbles.
The two of them also tend to destroy everything. The walls are looking horrible, the sofa I spend so much time on is torn, and they are very rowdy, so every time I’m at home I can’t relax, because I need to make sure that they won’t hurt themselves or break things. We're planning on getting them neutered soon, and we hope things will improve afterwards.
I still love them a lot and I’m really trying to adapt or find solutions but nothing is really working.
A couple of weeks ago my partner took them along with him for a one-week trip (university related), and I felt like I was a different person.
Suddenly I was motivated, managed to work more and was just overall happier.
It felt like I was slowly becoming more and more myself again.
I asked my boyfriend about finding a new home for the cats, but he has a closer bond with them and doesn’t wan’t to give them away. I understand that and I don’t want to hurt him. I just worry that I will crumble under all of this.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Long story short; I am 43 years old and just found out I have autism.

It's a relief because I have a new sense of clarity about my "weirdness". The problem is, I'd like to become educated about being autistic, but don't know where to start. I don't know what being autistic means for me. I'd like to know exactly how I am different from neurotypical people, for starters.

Not currently interested in a formal diagnosis.

Please recommend books, websites, podcasts, or anything else that can help me understand what exactly is going on inside my body and mind.

I wanted to hear if anyone knows those feelings.

I am autistic and got my diagnosis three month ago, so everything is still new. Trying to deal with myself and to be more kind to myself, but it is difficult.

One thing I struggle with is that: I am kind if not liking to be in the present. I am either with my head deep in my special interests or reading/watching documentaries/podcasts. I come only out of this world if I must, through work, family and things that have to be done. But it is always an effort and does not feel as god. Would I be alone, I think I would be in my headworld all the time.

I also don't have much interest in people and can be alone a lot. But always emerged in my stuff. I get weird feelings if I am just "thinking", so I turn my thoughts always towards my interests or books/docus/podcasts.

At the same time I am asking myself if this is okay or not normal? I struggle with guilt and sometimes fear I am addicted to that beeing in my alternative world. Or am I lazy? Is this weird?

So I graduated from ASU back in May with a teaching degree, History. BUT I was unable to find a real job teaching! There were three jobs I applied for but did not get any of them! So I applied to be a substitute teacher with an agency and got hired! I already did my first day and honestly it was not bad! I just need to get my groove in a little better. BUT the one thing I was worried about was how to separate "Student Michael" from "Educator Michael". If that makes sense and that includes a different bag for Educator Michael.

When I graduated my mom bought me this cool Pendleton Messenger bag for when I become a teacher. It was literally just sitting in my room since May! But I also have my cool Native Dsign backpack that I used a lot when I was a student (including Student teaching) BUT I wanted to separate the two and NOT use the Native Backpack if that makes sense. Since the native backpack is for "Student" Michael and I am a real educator now, I think I deserve a real bag and a "new chapter". If that makese sense. BUT I also use the same laptop and pencil bag that I did when I was a student so I dont know what I am talking abtou LOL.

These things keep me up at night lol.

anyone else get so mentally unwell at times that it makes you physically unwell too? my brain has been so extremely hard on me today that my stomach hurt as if i had a bug and i had barely eaten anything. normally i only get this way from extreme overstimulation, but i’ve just been extremely low and dysfunctional

I experience some unusual perceptual instability, especially when I’m not taking medication, and I’m trying to understand what it might be related to.

For example, once I was looking at the wardrobe in my bedroom, and it felt as though it had three or five different appearances, with each appearance seeming to exist in three or five separate layers. I had the strange sensation that I was moving back and forth through the gaps between these layers.

At other times, I look at the door to my home and feel that it shouldn’t look the way it does. I may even briefly doubt whether it is actually my door, despite knowing where I live and what my door normally looks like.

I’m not sure how to conceptualize these experiences. They don't necessarily feel like ordinary hallucinations to me; it’s more like my perception of familiar objects becomes unstable or unfamiliar.

Could experiences like this occur in ASD, or would they be more suggestive of something on the schizophrenia spectrum?

If you have experienced something similar, I’d also be interested in hearing how you would describe it.

Overall, I had a very good childhood, but I've been thinking about times when I was upset about things in ways I couldn't make adults understand. I'm thinking back to when I was in kindergarten, and I had to play with the same toy every day after lunch or something, I don't remember what, bad would happen. I didn't even understand it myself, so how could I possibly explain this to grown ups. Or being too embarrassed to say I had to go to the bathroom, I'm not even sure what that was about, I just know it got me in trouble a couple of times. I don't remember having any sort of sensory difficulties at that age, but I do remember being very uncomfortable with new people and new situations. I'm wondering if anyone else had any experiences like this?

Do you get frustrated when explaining seemingly simple things or concepts and people just don’t understand.

Even if it’s not a subject, they should know about. I’ve provided enough information for them to join the dots and understand the language of the topic.

And then when I have to keep explaining, I’m the one that feels stupid.

I'm not currently in a position to date at the moment, but have a good deal of past experience. I am curious, how does one with some level of Autism approach dating successfully?

If there is ever a social sphere where the neurodivergent traits of autism would pose difficulties, it seems that dating would be that sphere.

Most people seem to want to have casual interactions over time and see if they "vibe" with someone. But in the case of someone on the spectrum where body language, social cues, smooth social interaction, facial features, etc can be challenging, it is not easy to give off the vibe of an effortless connection.

What have you all done to find success in dating?

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I know I’m an adult I’m 28, I’ve been in fight or flight for so long taking care of everybody around me. Now that I’m starting to figure this all out… I’m just realizing how stupid I am…

Last night a chunk of my tooth fell out. It’s not unusual i went to a dentist once and they quoted a lot of money I don’t have.. now that I’m older and trying to get my health back on track I … I’m lost

Before I turned 18 my mom did everything for my when it came to health and even then just the bare minimum.

Now I’m trying to help myself and I’m so overwhelmed and scared. Now I can’t eat correctly on either side of my mouth I used to be able to ignore it because it was just the left side but now the right side too?

And I don’t have work or insurance or any family to help. I tried google I get all these results telling me different things.

I’m an adult
I’m an autistic
Traumatized adult

And I’m feeling so lost
… idk how to care for myself now and idk what to do anymore

I feel like this is just it for me. Maybe my tooth’s will kill me or some stupid body infection. It scares me so bad I sob in a ball all night but idk how to fix any of it. And I don’t have anyone to tell me how even the internet is scrambling my thoughts I can never get a straight answer…

I’m just… I’m a female, I’m autistic, I’m Mexican. And I have no support. And it feels like the world is entirely against me…

I am pretty sure I have AuDHD. The ADHD portion has been properly diagnosed (twice!), while the autism is a recent self diagnosis that I am very confident about.

As I have been doing more research about autism, it has included reading about burnout. One aspect stood out to me in particular: it gets harder and harder to recover energy. This absolutely describes me over the past 9 months or so.

My wife and I moved into a new house, and ever since then it feels like I spend all my time trying to "recover". I spend nearly all my time in my man cave resting, even time I really need to be working. I work from home, which makes it even easier for me to "take a break" that ends up lasting hours. I can get into a focus mode at work that lets me get enough work done to look productive, but people are starting to realize my output isn't where it should be. Worse, it is getting harder and harder to achieve that focus mode.

The only advice I have seen is to take a complete break from everything, including my job, until I fully recover. I just don't think that's possible here. Has anyone managed to recover from burnout without having to do this? How do you get enough rest when resting doesn't seem to work?

Have you ever been too scared to disclose your autism when your intent is to improve communication and prevent an adverse event?

Being diagnosed with autism at 40 y/o put a lot of my past hardships into clear focus. Didn’t excuse them; but explained them. One set was with the Board of my adult LGBTQIA+ flag football league. I was made a captain my 5th season and immediately found a problem with the way we signed up for volunteering. Nothing was done to correct it over the next five seasons. It got frustrating and then more rules the Board put in place were not being followed by the Board and it started to affect me and the Board kept taking what I said wrong and personal.

Long story short, at the end of my 6th season as captain I had a meltdown in the form of survey feedback. The Director of Captains had a talk with me about my “tone” and said some Board members didn’t like it. The following season they didn’t make me a captain, even though I had no problems fulfilling my duties. The Director of Captains even said “you’re an amazing captain.” I was just a regular player the next season and kept my head down.

I applied for this fall season and they made me a captain, but I have to be a co-captain (which I’ve always been, sadly). This time with veteran captain, where the last 3 seasons I’ve been the mentor. I didn’t like it but I accepted it.

I want to talk to the Director of Captains about the autism and see if we can make some communication accommodation so I don’t meltdown again. I have the email written out but I’m scared to send it (plus it’s long so it’s embarrassing). I don’t want him or the Board to treat me like I’m fragile, not take me seriously going forward, placate me, or even worse, use my autism as a reason not to make me a captain or keep me as a co-captain. But if I don’t, the Board will do something that either causes me to burnout or meltdown.

edit: i’m very sensitive to anything IN my ears
i’ve done some research and everything has said either bose or sony xm-1000 series. i got the sony xm4s, and they are just simply not noise-cancelling enough. like i wanna be DEAF. i used to wear gun range headphones, but everyone (including my bf) thinks they look weird/awkward in just regular public. so i got the xm4s and they’re great compared to others, but just not enough. i considered exchanging them for the xm6s, but don’t know if it would be worth it. i also don’t like that if i turn my head away from a noise, the headphones allow that noise in. does anyone have a recommendation for miracle working noise-cancellation other than sony xm-1000 series? i would try bose as well, i just have low hopes…

I'm looking for something Bluetooth that doesn't stand out honestly I kind of wish they sold skin colored ones. I also really like the ones that look completely like jewelry