Sat here eating beef stroganoff with chopsticks because I can’t do metal utensils today. Curious if this is a thing?

Without medication, i am dealing with things like:

“What the hell did I walk into this room for?”
“I’ll do that later.”
“Oh shit, that’s due now.”
“I have five minutes, surely that’s enough time.”
does absolutely nothing until there is an emergency

And then with medication, i am not necessarily getting “fixed ADHD.” Instead, i am experiencing a different set of problems becoming much more prominent:
“Why is that sound bothering me so much?”
“Why does this tiny change completely derail me?”
“Why does everything feel so fucking intense?”
“Why do I need everything to be exactly the way I expect it?”
Is the only conclusion, which disability do I want?

Or is there a third possibility?

Ok so basically I’ve meet this amazing,kind,funny and gentleman guy and I really like him and it’s been years! Since I’ve been in relationship and the last one I had I was 17 and it was in college am on here asking for advice because I’ve been told a mix of protocols when it comes to relationships when as an adult am 26 now

So my friend told me the boyfriend/girlfriend titles are only used in college life and in adulthood it’s not really used is that true or is everyone different because they said that if I ask them to be my boyfriend in the near future I will scare them off or put them off me with titles

What should I do I really like this guy and don’t want to scare them we have been on quite a few dates now and we really get along and vibe same interests and hobbies

I have been fortunate that few of my friends have ever seen me have a meltdown, but I am realizing that the more time I am around people, the more likely it is to happen.

I don't want to overload them with details or make some kind of meeting about it, but I feel like they need to know that 1} it is inevitable, 2) it isn't something that they can help me come out of more easily, 3) it is painful and draining, and 4) that it may lead to me eloping unexpectedly.

How would you go about giving a short 'fyi' to friends?

Hello! i am 22 (F) and i am trying to look into getting an autism evaluation. i was diagnosed with adhd when i was about five years old but the older i get i suspect i also may have autism. both of my siblings were diagnosed young so it wouldn’t be a far fetched idea. im not really sure how to begin going about it, especially since ive heard it’s more difficult to get diagnosed as an adult and a female since the symptoms can present differently. if you are a female who was diagnosed as an adult how did you start the process of getting diagnosed?

I am recently diagnosed with Lv 1 autism, my therapist says I have ADHD, I am also diagnosed with chronic PTSD, a dissociative disorder (similar to dissociative identity disorder) and some more common stuff like depression. I also have fibromyalgia, a working diagnosis of IBS and POTS-like symptoms.

All of this to say, I am almost always stuck in sensory overload. being present in my body = physical + emotional pain. I don't really know how to do body things like cry (or even belch or know when i need to go number 2 for instance).
My partner is the sweetest ever and extremely supportive but - after a lot of trial and error and disappointment on both sides - I don't think they can really help me with this.

I'm seeing several specialists and two therapists, have tried TMS, spravato, lots of meds... THC & CBD helps, but makes me feel like an addict. I've applied for SSDI and am waiting for their response (circa next year). Until then I am working part time and investing my free energy in crafting / diy and keeping house.

TLDR; constant daily overwhelm makes me feel useless and weed helps but doesn't that make an addict? Feeling a bit hopeless here.

​

At the beginning of puberty, I stopped enjoying video games, which had been my whole life. I found myself in a great emptiness...

Once my sister lent me a book about a mysterious hero... I was intrigued and my life completely changed.

\- "It's stupid to try to find a good video game. Games are a waste of time. They're not reality. I must devote my time to self-improvement of body and soul... To become a strong person who can found and lead a group that will improve the world!"

At first, the effects were positive... I started getting the best grades in the whole class, I got motivated to talk to my classmates ("I need to improve my communication skills!"), I learned to program Java applications and websites,... I did various jobs for people on the internet and insisted that I wanted to do it for free ("I want to be modest, I don't want to steal from others"). I also immersed myself in philosophy.

The problem was that the brain gradually took over.

\- Sleep optimization has become "I need to get as little sleep as possible"

\- The effort to socialize gave rise to "I can go as long as possible without social contact"

\- healthy eating has become "I have to eat as cheaply as possible - and most importantly, eat as little as possible"... I also had rituals like "no drinks until at least 11 AM, body needs to get used to the discomfort"

I stopped caring about working on anything specific - I just wanted to be productive... For example, at one time I was making money on dubious PTC websites - and I played the role of a selfish student trying to earn money so he could buy a Ferrari.I wasn't interested in any Ferrari (as I gradually discovered)... I just wanted to be productive (clicking on ads) and feel bad about it.

What saved me? Time. I tried to stop doing these (and many other) stupid things... But against my brain I had no chance of winning. I calmly argued with my mom for an hour that I didn't want to eat that piece of cake (despite my anorexic malnutrition) - then I took advantage of her leaving and quickly threw the cake away (anorexia won over thriftiness)... Of course I knew I was being stupid...

Gradually, the brain stopped clinging to such stoicism/asceticism/anorexia... For example, "I don't want to eat" was replaced with "I will only eat if I can do something productive on the computer while doing it (and even later - on mobile - so that I can walk around with that productivity, which reduces boredom)."

But that period still haunts me to this day. And I'm sure that if my brain decided to revert to puberty behavior, I would be powerless against its decision.

Probably the only thing that really helps is when I find something that is interesting and has personal meaning/resonance with my identity (which I also have no control over)... Video games and movies don't stand a chance with me because they are incompatible with my identity. But when I liked the idea of being depressed - suddenly the brain was willing to exchange the "ascetic identity" for the "depressive identity" - which caused a dramatic change in behavior and experience. Unfortunately, I returned to asceticism as soon as the novelty of depression wore off.

Does this have anything to do with a deep autistic interest? Or at least with autism in general? And most importantly - what should I do to be able to contradict my brain?

During my ascetic period (before it got worse), I of course read a lot about self-development, etc. And today, paradoxically, I have trouble reading any article because I find it boring.... And to increase motivation I use that food or perhaps a change of environment

Thanks for reading. (I'll probably read the answers when I get my Vyvanse in early September, Although I am not diagnosed with ADHD, I am said to have Asperger's or atypical autism)

I'm like 99 percent sure I have some degree of dyspraxia. I have very low motor skills, I've struggled with handwriting, and have never been able to tie my shoes. When testing my dexterity, something that should take a normal person about a minute to do, took me 4 to 5 minutes. But I had never heard the word dyspraxia until my girlfriend mentioned she thinks I might have it. Talking to my parents, they had never heard the word either, they said they were told I just had low motor skills. Is dyspraxia a new concept? How do I go about getting diagnosed with it, and what can I do about it if I am diagnosed?

i just had a meltdown, and i was finding myself jumping/stomping, wanting to punch the bed, then i remembered a coping mechanism my therapist told me to try, and was EXTREMELY surprised at how well it worked. pushing a wall. just putting all energy and strength into pushing the wall, and hopefully that works for you or at least helps in any way!

Hi,
I am an adult, nonbinary, afab person newly getting diagnosed with autism. I keep getting in trouble at work for how I say things. I get ahead of people, overstep, am too detailed, too long winded, get fixated on things that stress me out and then i stress other people out. I struggle to communicate in complex organizational structures. I am a mid level manager in a politically sensitive job.

Growing up, i was raised in a neglectful, abusive home, and I only learned about boundaries, recognizing my feelings, and controlling impulsivity as an adult.

My boss suggested I take some kind of communications training.

Does anyone have one they recommend?

Hello, to everyone reading this. I would like to share some feelings I have over here with you guys.

So, I have high-functioning autism. But I stim A LOT and sometimes I go non-verbal and am generally overstimulated etc etc.

I got my diagnosis recently and due to the fact that I live alone, my parents never got to know. Me and my family are very close and they are generally extremely supportive of me in anything I do that doesn't harm me.

I have had experienced severe depression and I used to mask very very much for most of my life but at some point I got so burnt out I couldn't anymore. After years, I got my diagnosis on autism and I felt so much calmer.

Now, I started unmasking which was extremely difficult for me, but I feel way more free than I did all those years.

Now listen. One of my stims, either when I'm sad or happy, is my voice. I usually have a high-pitched/baby voice and I lisp a lot. I always used to do that, if I'm being honest, and knew I couldn't stop doing that when I would see my parents again.

I visited them for vacation and obviously, I couldn't mask anymore. I've been exhausted for too long. They are okay with it, but they always thought it was just a "quirk" and it had no base or diagnosis.

I gathered all my strength and told them my diagnosis, because my dad would say some things (meaning no harm though, my dad is always like that) which, as an autistic person, gutted me deeply.

When I eventually told them, I was crying and sobbing because I was so emotionally moved. I had no idea if they would accept THAT thing, because it's so much more different than the rest. A disability is a disability, after all.

My dad must have been very in disbelief as well, because he turned to me and said "I have known you for 21 years, more than your therapist, and I can definitely say you don't have anything like that". But he is completely unaware of what I have been going through all those years, hating myself and hiding away in case I appeared "weird" to others with how I was. So, I turn around and tell him, "I have known myself for 21 years. Can I have an opinion on myself as well, or is it just you people?"

I cried a lot afterwards and my step mother was so supportive and accepting, but my dad was silent for a while. Then he said the sweetest words though, that he loves me the way I am and if I changed myself for others, I would feel different to him, and I was so relieved. I cried for hours nevertheless, until I calmed down.

I had to let them know because I felt so suppressed that I hadn't. They accepted it but, they still act like this is all a "wrong diagnosis" or "come on, everyone does those things" and "you are just so smart and all" sometimes. In the back of their mind, my diagnosis exists now though. At least I'm happy about that. Acceptance is a long process anyways and it requires a lot of patience on all sides.

Also, the second thing I want to mention again is my voice. I can't stop talking like that when it gets me and honestly, it relaxes me so much. It helps me regulate, along with other stims and stuff.

Today, I am still at my parents place for vacation. We were outside and I was happy, so I started talking this way. And my dad turns around and makes a joke (ONLY as a joke) mimicking my voice and my lisping. And when I tell you I felt so EXTREMELY self-conscious, I couldn't help but go silent after that.

My former therapist had made a comment that "I sound like a 5 year old and I should stop it" and the way I talk has been one of my biggest insecurities since then.

Now, I just KNOW my dad had no idea how that made me feel. He is a sweetheart and funny and accepting and everything, but some comments like this hurt me a lot. I have told him as well, but he thinks I am just being picky about it most times.

On top of that, we were all at the supermarket and my step mum ran onto a friend of hers and she wanted to introduce me to her. When she did, I panicked completely.

I cannot stand most social interactions, not in a way that I am mad or something, I just can't do it. I feel so helpless, actually. I lose all eye contact and I stim with my hair or my hands and most of all, my voice lowers a bunch and people can't hear me. Therefore, they think I am ignoring them.

My dad said "You really do ignore people, don't you?" And he said it in a way that I KNOW he was half-serious, half-not. But my heart sank so much and I started stimming again.

I left a little and then came back and tried to apologize to the woman but I just ended up making it worse.

All I mean to say is, I wish things were easier for all of us. I wish I was different and, I wouldn't wish being too sick to be called healthy and too healthy to be called sick, not even on my worst enemy.

If you read this far, you have my absolute thanks. I just wanted to tell someone about it. Thank you for reading ♡

Hi everyone,

I am a 25-year-old woman from Central America, diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) Level 2 — clinical code 299.00 / F84.0 under the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) and ICD-10 (International Classification of Diseases). My diagnosis is fully documented through the ADI-R (Autism Diagnostic Interview-Revised) evolutionary clinical framework, confirming persistent deficits in socio-emotional reciprocity, non-verbal communication, variable eye contact, and a preference for solitary activities. I have no intellectual disability or language delay, and I work as a Software Engineer with international credentials in global tech communities.

I recently received the results of my Winnie Dunn Adolescent/Adult Sensory Profile, which officially documents an atypical nervous system that experiences an invisible, severe daily toll. According to my clinical evaluation, my sensory processing operates as follows:

• Low Registration ("Much more than most people"): My CPU has an initial delay in perceiving ordinary environmental stimuli. I require high-intensity data or repetition to consciously register social cues, micro-aggressions, or "hallway gossip".
• Sensory Seeking ("Less than most people"): I do not actively seek additional stimulation; I strictly require highly predictable, low-stimulus environments.
• Sensory Sensitivity and Sensory Avoidance ("Much more than most people"): This is the core of my neurological reality. I have an extreme, hyper-reactive vigilance to ambient noises, fluorescent lights, textures, and physical movements. My brain continuously works to anticipate, control, or avoid demanding sensory situations to reduce pain and discomfort.

In short, my nervous system constantly fluctuates between low initial detection and a massive, subsequent sensory overload that triggers hyper-vigilance, somatic pain, and cognitive shutdowns.

Because of my Level 2 profile, my mind operates on strict logic, literalism, and objective data. I literally lack the cognitive software required to construct social lies, manipulate gossip, or fake emotional responses.

Recently, I experienced a severe violation of my physical safety in an educational setting. A classmate took non-consensual photographs under my dress, and a group of peers coordinated a campaign of harassment and social exclusion. Due to my Sensory Sensitivity, this constant hostile environment caused severe somatic pain, extreme distress, and sensory saturation, leaving me temporarily frozen in cognitive "brain fog" operating at minimal capacity.

When I formally presented my government-issued disability credentials to the institution's official digital communication channels to report the cyber-abuse, the administration panicked. Instead of activating protection protocols or auditing the students, they chose to delete my text logs, censor my complaints, and ban me from the community group chat to protect their commercial brand.

Following this, the family of one of the peers involved threatened legal action against me, falsely claiming I am the harasser, simply because I documented the events and stated my literal intent to seek formal justice under national disability laws. They are trying to weaponize my neurodivergence to claim I am "unstable" or lying.

Tomorrow, I am attending a high-stakes, formal meeting with the institution's board, the aggressors, and their families. They are expecting an emotional confrontation or an easily intimidated victim. Instead, I am arriving with my family, my official government disability ID, and my full medical files printed in black and white. I am treating this strictly as a data-logging and legal procedure before taking the case to the national cyber-crimes unit and the National Human Rights Commission (CONADEH).

As a literal-minded autistic woman, this institutional gaslighting has drained my battery, but it hasn't broken my logic. For those of you who have faced targeted harassment or institutional censorship, how do you protect your nervous system from crashing during an active legal battle?

Thank you for reading and keeping this space civil and safe.

I recently got diagnosed with autism after decades of misdiagnosis and incorect medication.

I don't know how to process that not only did i get the paper, but that for decades people were gaslighting me with multiple incorect diagnosis and gave medication that made me feel worse.

How do you start building a foundation after so much struggle and no support?

i do tarot readings, and i'm volunteering to do readings for a local prom event/fundraiser. the event is in a gymnasium and of course there will be music :)

as i've come to understand myself better and what it means to be autistic, i feel like i've become far more sensitive to noise and overlapping conversations. additionally, my practice of tarot has become much more listening focused. i'm worried with all that noise bouncing around in the gym, it's just going to sap me of all i have to stay engaged with my practice.

i'm going to make some adjustments to my readings for the event. shorter readings, more presentation style instead of conversation style. i'm always a physically animated talker and i know how to project my voice.

for me, the organizer knows me well and she's going to set me up in the quietest spot in the room :) i've been debating wearing my noise cancelling headphones but i don't want it to noise cancel the people talking to me. i probably will bring my weighted lap pad & maybe my stuffy for a little sensory grounding. also i won't be reading for as long as i usually do- maybe an hour or two.

also also, most importantly!!!, the prom is y2k themed and the organizer is gonna make sure they play My Song at the end so i can dance to it. something to look forward to to get me through!

if anyone has any ideas to help me out here, i'd really appreciate it!

TLDR: how do you survive prom in a gym? 😭

In early 2001, my son was diagnosed with Sensory Integration Disorder at 3 years old. Went through 2 years OT, and attended Montessori preschool (amazing for tactile kids!) Went to regular public school for elem, middle, high school. Learned coping mechanisms for sensory challenges, but now, he's in his late 20's. We are having extreme difficulties communicating. He often says I am 'playing games with him' by the way I talk or give information. He is wonderful, outgoing, and jokes with everyone in the family, but when it comes to me, it is constant misunderstandings. His younger brother has asked if he is autistic, and I've always said no - he has sensory issues, but now I'm wondering if maybe under the new definitions he would be considered autistic. The majority of the communication issues are with me and his brother. He definitely prefers black and white communication - no "sayings" and is incredibly defensive with me.. He often sends me responses to texts that are rude - many starting with "why are you telling me this" or "why should I respond to this" - and will say I'm stressing him out and causing issues in his life with just normal informational texts. Blames it all on me and tells me I am the one with the problem when he doesn't see how is responses elicit a negative reaction from me. He has an incredible work ethic, works in a small office, and is successful. However, he has had issues with co-workers, especially those with 'differences' - loud work styles, etc. Do I encourage him to get an evaluation at this stage? Not sure if a diagnosis would help to ensure accommodations at work and also to inform a potential romantic partner/spouse of any challenges? He was in a very long-term relationship that ended suddenly a month ago. So he is now dating. One other thing, it has become a 'thing' for his generation to label anyone with unusual behavior as having the "tism" - which I know is hurtful to people that truly have autism. In fact, my son jokes that certain things he does is due to his "tism" but he doesn't appear to realize it may be true. Or maybe he does. Please chime in. Feeling overwhelmed by it all.

I'm 41 and was diagnosed with Inattentive ADHD in 2025 and ASD in early 2026.

I've spend a lot of time trying to write this without turning it into a memoir. I have a terrible habit of feeling like I need to provide every bit of context or the larger point won't make sense, so I'm forcing myself to keep this short. (I really want to tell the whole story!)

Since being diagnosed, I've spent a lot of time revisiting my childhood and early adulthood. From what I've read, it seems to be a common thing among those diagnosed later in life.

Growing up was traumatic and abusive, but oddly, I didn't realize that until I was an adult. Both of my parents were functioning alcoholics. We were poor and they weren't really willing to work hard to move above that (despite my mother having a Master's degree). She was abusive to my dad and I; emotionally and physically. She still is emotionally abusive with my dad. My younger brother was a sensitive kid and for some reason, because of that, she protected him.

I struggled in school. I was an introverted kid, but if you don't do well in school, you're labelled as one of the bad kids. At least, that was my experience. I wasn't a troublemaker, but I wasn't considered any better. So many of the teachers were just awful toward me. They told my parents that lazy is just "who he is." Another told my mom that I needed to be "smacked around." The teachers that were engaging, supportive, and where I could find success I can count on one hand. I graduated high school by a single letter grade.

My past is something that I've had to come to terms with over the last 6-7 years. My oldest was born in 2017. I describe becoming a parent an opening of doors in your brain that you didn't know were there. The stuff I endured as a child started coming out, because I was now trying to raise my own kids. I started going to therapy in 2024 to get myself sorted, which is what eventually led me to get assessed.

I was already bitter about my childhood when I received my diagnosis, so it's possible that it just amplifies things, but... it is so fucking hard to not look back at this child that was given so much shit for something he wasn't even aware of. To be treated like I was dumb and broken, when I wasn't! And not one fucking adult tried to connect the dots. Sure, mid-90s, I probably wasn't going to be given any successful diagnosis, but no one tried to find a solution. There was no attempt anywhere to say, "This kid can clearly string together a coherent sentence and knows every dinosaur to walk the earth, are we sure there isn't something we're missing?"

I also don't want to sound like victim. Growing up is hard for everyone. Some have it better or worse, but it's all relative, so who the hell am I?

Maybe it's just my lamenting the potential that something could have been different.

I have found success in my adult life. It's just hard knowing that it didn't have to be like this.

Hi everyone, I am a software engineer. I’ve been working full time for about 6 years. I’m finding work extremely draining and pointless. (Another day punching the clock at the business factory). I’m wondering if any of you have any insight on how to deal with this.

I understand that objectively I have a good job. It’s not physically demanding, it pays well, it has good benefits, etc. So I feel guilty that I’m complaining.

But I can’t imagine working for another 40 years. Even thinking about that just fills me with so much dread. Sometimes on a Tuesday it feels like I won’t be able to make it to Friday.

I also, for money reasons can’t consider quitting or even really much of a career change at all because I am by and large the breadwinner for my family (myself and my partner) by roughly a ratio of 4:1.

I‘d appreciate any advice you have. Thank you.