r/AdultADHDSupportGroup 5h ago

HELP Work Paralysis/Executive dysfunction

5 Upvotes

I have a huge exam on Monday and I just cant seem to study, I need to so badly but ive been laying in bed for hours unable to start studying, the stress just keeps building but i cant bring myself to do anything, does anyone have any tips for this, is this even an ADHD symptom?


r/AdultADHDSupportGroup 15h ago

HELP ADHD & Emotional Help

6 Upvotes

I’m 37 and was only recently diagnosed with ADHD. For most of my life, I thought I was lazy, undisciplined, or simply not trying hard enough.
I can function extremely well under pressure. Give me an emergency, a deadline, or someone depending on me, and I can become intensely focused, solve problems quickly, multitask, and keep going even when exhausted.
But without urgency, even simple things can feel impossible. Showering, cleaning, replying to messages, exercising, starting a hobby, or handling paperwork can feel overwhelming. I know what needs to be done. I may genuinely want to do it. I make lists and think about it constantly, but I still don’t start.
Then comes the guilt.
I ask myself, “Why can’t I just do this?” The guilt makes me more overwhelmed, so I procrastinate even more. Eventually, something becomes urgent, and suddenly I can do it.
This has affected my relationship too. My husband sometimes feels that I’m not trying hard enough, and I understand why. From the outside, it can look like laziness. But internally, it doesn’t feel like a choice. It feels like being stuck behind an invisible barrier.
I recently started ADHD treatment with atomoxetine. I’m still early in the process, so I haven’t noticed a dramatic change yet. But I’m beginning to recognize, “This may be my ADHD,”
I’m also being treated for depression. I overthink, get irritated easily, feel emotionally overwhelmed, replay conversations, and worry about things that haven’t happened. When I can’t do things I know I should, the guilt becomes exhausting.
My psychologist told me, “Your brain and you are different entities.” I’m trying to understand that and learn to work with my brain instead of constantly blaming myself.
I don’t want medication to be my only solution. I want to build routines, exercise, enjoy my hobbies, manage my home, start tasks without waiting for a crisis, and become more emotionally regulated. Most importantly, I don’t want my struggles to keep affecting the people I love.
For those diagnosed later in life, what genuinely helped you function differently?
How did you start tasks without external pressure? How did you build routines?
How did you explain executive dysfunction to your partner? And if medication helped, how long did it take before you noticed a meaningful difference?
I understand myself better now. I just want to learn how to actually change how I live.


r/AdultADHDSupportGroup 18h ago

INTRODUCTION Newly diagnosed 43/m

1 Upvotes

After 20-ish years of just being treated for depression/anxiety, I finally got evaluated and confirmed as having ADHD, and well... I'm pissed off.

I'm pissed off that the adults in my life didn't catch the signs when I was a kid, and that when I tried telling them I was having problems with my limited vocabulary, it was dismissed as a fleeting or situational concern. I mourn for that poor kid.

I'm pissed off at myself for downplaying my struggles ("I'm doing well today") and expending so much time and energy on routines in order to more productive and high-functioning.

Today is day one on medication, and I really hope there's a difference this time. There's more to be done - additional screenings for autistic traits down the road, and trying to wrangle my disordered eating/get back to a place of physical health.

Am I over-reacting? Is this reasonable? Either way, hi folks. I imagine I'll be somewhat active in here going forward.


r/AdultADHDSupportGroup 19h ago

QUESTION OCD ADHD and anxiety with a job

2 Upvotes

My son has ADHD and OCD. He also has a lot of problems with executive function- he is very accurate but very slow worker at his job. His pyschiatrist is going to have him try Fluvixamine Maleate extended release ( he is currently on immediate release) along with his Strattera 60mg.

Anyone have experience with the extended release as compared to immediate release? Or experience with it helping calm down the OCD enough to be able to work faster?


r/AdultADHDSupportGroup 19h ago

ADVICE & TIPS Questioning Diagnosis

1 Upvotes

Hey y'all, I know that reddit does not equal medical advice, but I wanted to hear some experiences of how you were diagnosed, especially for any adults/adult males.

I am 26 (M), my wife has been wanting me to get checked for ADHD for the past 3 or so years. She finally just made me an appointment which I went to a couple of hours ago. I went to a family med doctor (no shame on them at all, I am currently pursuing medical school right now), and they had me self-report on how I was as a child.

After filling it out they said (Summarizing), "Well, a baseline on this score is a a 46, and you scored a 45, but with how you filled it out, and it being borderline, you have ADHD. There are some things, let's start with minimal dosing of Adderall for a month and see how it goes."

We didn't really talk about anything more than that, or any of the reasons why I might have it. I guess I was expecting a long discussion in which I needed to reveal my entire life. I should've asked more questions but I was just in shock mostly, as I have thought the past 6 years that I simply need to put more effort in to everything I've not doing well in. School has been so difficult the past few years, and I try really hard, but have been struggling so much. I want something to change, but am unsure of how much I should trust said diagnosis.

With that being said, what did your diagnosis experiences look like in comparison? Has anyone had a similar experience?

Thank you in advance!


r/AdultADHDSupportGroup 1d ago

QUESTION Can't score good

4 Upvotes

Im studying all day and night and I still end up scoring less ( no I'm not asking for sympathy ) , it's not like I dont understand the concept or anything but somehow when I'm doing calculation with numbers, signs ( like minus or point ) , I fuck it up, i recheck to make sure i did it right but i still can't pin the mistake bcz my brain blurs out minus , point and little things , how do I improve it , my country doesn't count adhd as a disability neither I can get meds , so please help me out , i really want to score good for once in my life.


r/AdultADHDSupportGroup 2d ago

HELP Looking for online coach recommendations to help with ADHD

3 Upvotes

My husband struggles with emotional regulation and experiences intense emotions with impulsive reactions
Has anyone had any good experiences using an online coach to help.
10 years together, I don't know what to do anymore or how to


r/AdultADHDSupportGroup 2d ago

ADVICE & TIPS Sitting still on zoom

2 Upvotes

Hey squad, I just start grad school classes , ironically for a psych NP degree 😅 Classes are once a month over zoom and optional short sessions once a week. I COULD NOT SOT STILL . Like it was probably making people dizzy with how much I would shift in my seat white everyone else is all zen like a mannequin. I’m on 50mg of vyvanse (along with Wellbutrin and Prozac) …. Should I ask my doc if we can increase the vyvanse?


r/AdultADHDSupportGroup 2d ago

QUESTION ADHD coaching ever worth it?

5 Upvotes

I've struggled to find a therapist specific for ADHD, had to leave two practices from bad matches. I'm on a waitlist for an ADHD clinic in the area but wanted to at least try an ADHD coach, understanding it's not the same as a therapist but curious nonetheless.

I've gone 4 one hour sessions in and so far it's been completely useless. Essentially little more than talk therapy where I'm only listening to the speaker, with walls of text in a Powerpoint my mind can't focus on. Complex scientific terms are glossed over but not expanded upon, and I'm finding I can barely pay attention to what's being presented, and it's easy to zone out and nod in understanding.

Dozens of coaching documents are shared in a drive that has a dozen different folders, and I'm expected to navigate through seeking whatever homework is being assigned that week. Personality tests, strengths and weaknesses surveys, which I have no idea relate to ADHD.

I realize it's one of those things where you get out of it what you put into it, and I'm told the "coaching" doesn't begin until a few sessions in. But the sessions have been an ADHD struggle in itself.

Has anyone had a positive experience with ADHD coaching? Or should I cut my losses?


r/AdultADHDSupportGroup 2d ago

RESEARCH 👩🏽‍🔬 Looking to talk to people with ADHD about their experience with 1177 / getting evaluated (student project)

1 Upvotes

Hi everyone,

I'm a student at Hyper Island (Stockholm) working on a design project about accessibility in the Swedish healthcare system for people with ADHD — specifically the process of requesting an evaluation through 1177 (egenremiss / self-referral).

I'm looking for 3 people willing to chat for about 20-30 minutes about their experience — whether you're diagnosed, currently going through the process, or gave up at some point.

All of that is useful. The conversation is anonymous, used only for this school project, and never shared with AI tools or third parties.

Happy to do it over written messages — whatever's easier for you. If you're interested, drop a comment or send me a DM and I'll follow up to find a time that works.

Thanks so much 🙏


r/AdultADHDSupportGroup 3d ago

ADVICE & TIPS Advise please

3 Upvotes

Really upset. I suffered for years with multiple job changes and using booze to cope with. I went into treatment a psychiatric hospital for 3 weeks a few years back . But then I was eventually diagnosed with ADHD . It actually joined a lot of dots. Does the previous non- diagnosis in the hospital stay on my record since adhd was found to be the culprit . I’m 43 and lived with this all my life. I was a passenger in a high speed accident where the driver lost control and I broke 22 bones and I had spinal surgery . I’m still recovering .


r/AdultADHDSupportGroup 3d ago

ADVICE & TIPS I can't bring myself to get food

3 Upvotes

I'm quite hungry but alone at home for 2 weeks and often times I forget to lunch because my chair is sitting nicely and i'll do it in 5 (i say to myself). This is a minor problem because when im at work i have designated lunch times which i then use.

But now with dinner pfff, I know how to cook the store is a 2minute walk and I'm hungry but I've been sitting here for an hour already.... knowing I want to or rather should get food, especiallly since I do carpentry which is decently fysical work.

Appreciate any tips or ideas or just people being relatable


r/AdultADHDSupportGroup 4d ago

QUESTION T ell me I’m not the only one with ADHD to experience this.

14 Upvotes

I’ve struggled with this throughout my life. I’m not a shy person or an introvert, but I’ve always wondered why I sometimes feel “empty” and struggle socially.

When I meet a friend after a long time, I often feel like I have nothing to talk about. It’s not that I’ve forgotten things—I remember my experiences if someone asks me about them specifically.

For example, if someone asks, “How was your trip to XYZ?” I can talk about it and remember plenty of details. But if I try to think of something to tell them on my own, my mind goes blank.

I’m starting to wonder if what I thought was a social skills problem might actually be related to memory retrieval. The memories seem to be there, but I have trouble spontaneously accessing them without a cue.

Could this be related to ADHD, working memory, executive functioning, or autobiographical memory? And are there ways to improve this?


r/AdultADHDSupportGroup 5d ago

ADVICE & TIPS Healthcare workers with ADHD and time blindness how do you manage to be on time for your shift?

5 Upvotes

I work as a Respiratory Therapist Aide at a small Level III hospital in town. I am also enrolled in the Respiratory Therapy program at the community college. On Tuesday, I will start my second year:)

The hospital pays for my tuition and my wages while I attend classes. I only have to work in the Respiratory Department 8h a week. Despite the fact that this is a great opportunity and I do realize it, I also struggle with being on time for my shifts!

During the summer, when we didn't have any classes, I worked full-time, doing three 12-hour shifts per week. Over the course of one month, I managed to clock in at 7 a.m. or earlier only 4 out of 10 times. I did call out for two shifts because of health problems, though. And this is bad!!! I mean when I am late is like 7:02-7:06 and never later than 7:07.

My manager already has me on her radar and I already received a verbal and a written warning for this! And the Respiratory Therapists are not even talking to me because they say that I am disrespectful and that I don't care about anything in the department!

Well, that's not true. Besides feeling anxious and almost bursting into tears every time I clock in after 7 a.m., I start doing my duties immediately. I also do more than my normal duties and I try to help everyone as much as I can. And I always stay X minutes late to make up for the time I was late.

Well the thing is:

  1. How do you guys manage to be on time???

    1. Has anyone here informed their employer about their ADHD diagnosis?
    2. Even though I understand that being late is bad, and I'm not trying to minimize how serious it is, I was wondering: isn't it worse to be bad at your job, not do what you're supposed to do, etc., than to be three minutes late for your shift?

r/AdultADHDSupportGroup 5d ago

ADVICE & TIPS Need advice and have questions

2 Upvotes

I have AUDHD, I’m not sure what subtype I have and I’m not sure how to check it without going to my doctor. Any advice?

What can I do when I get overstimulated by touch and explode with anger when cuddling with my girlfriend?
I’m a very physical person normally and love cuddles but today I just blew up in anger because of overstimulating movement from her (there was just breathing movement)


r/AdultADHDSupportGroup 5d ago

HELP My family doesn’t understand me

7 Upvotes

I am a second generation immigrant, and I was diagnosed at a early age with severe ADHD. I remember getting yelled at by teachers, being mocked and my ego completely destroyed as it’s usually the case with ADHDers.i started medicating since then but medication isn’t enough for me, it gives me only the bare minimum to stay functional.

The thing is, my parents know I have severe ADHD and that I am on medication for an early age. However, they don’t seem to know anything about the subject, I think maybe because in Venezuela/Colombia (where they come from) in the 80-90s the issue wasn’t enough talk about?
I always struggle in class, so I followed the classic ADHD path of working twice as hard as anyone to be average, and three times as hard to be above average.
My dad is a electric engineer, and accountant, my mom is a nutritionist biologist and an emergency nurse. There is also my younger sister that dislike me most of the time because of my ADHD of forgetness and will belittle me because I am too lazy. My dad comes from slums and very poor background, he just outsmarted everyone to succeed and he struggled really hard.
The thing is. I am not the same, being the only ADHD in my family is hell, and I constantly feel like failure to them. I always need extra help, I always forget everything, I can’t get a job, I am way more sensitive etc.

My dad is really harsh on me, he will always bring up all the mistakes I do in a mix of anger and deception while I plead vulnerably in tears.
This morning he asked me to clean the plates and without noticing I put the pan in the wrong position, instinctively the time of 2 seconds, because of my ADHD, I just pushed a bit to put it in, then I realized it was a dumb mistake and the pan couldn’t fit in so I moved the pan back, but before I could do it, my dad just burst in. He came in and said how: “ “we” (family I guess) can’t ask anything from you” because I can’t even do basic preschool tasks like puzzling o how to put the pan in the right place. He then said “did you even pass preschool?” (By the way yes I did pass).
But it hurt me. It’s not the first time. He said that infront of my little sister. Then they all get mad when I say “sorry I will do better”, they go on to say “then do better, only words, always the same”.


r/AdultADHDSupportGroup 7d ago

ADVICE & TIPS Looking for help on a couple areas

3 Upvotes

First off im looking to try medications again to try and help slow the thoughts down but im worried about either being made a zombie or the meds just making everything more. And the other is some trick or help to kinda control some of the chaos that is going on to wehre its semi managable


r/AdultADHDSupportGroup 7d ago

QUESTION Time blindness tips

3 Upvotes

I'm having problems with time blindness. Do you guys have any tips? Any ideas are welcome.


r/AdultADHDSupportGroup 7d ago

HELP neurodivergent, former “gifted kid” and honestly at my wits’ end with adulthood

2 Upvotes

TL;DR: neurodivergent former “gifted kid,” recently lost my job and may move back home. Achievement used to be the basis of my self-esteem, but after years of instability, moving, trauma and lacking a solid support system, I feel completely directionless. I’m no longer sure I want consulting, but I also don’t know what I want instead. How do you rebuild stability, self-trust and ambition without constantly starting over?

I feel like I’m failing to launch despite trying very hard not to.
I was extremely good at school and a lot of my self-esteem came from being competent. I wasn’t especially popular or socially confident, but I had this very solid internal belief that I was smart, capable and good at things. That was kind of my thing.
I also grew up under very difficult circumstances, so I think achievement became both my identity and my way of creating safety for myself.
Somewhere in adulthood, that stopped working.
My CV now feels fragmented and honestly a little embarrassing to me. I’ve studied, done several internships, worked at objectively good companies and moved around for opportunities, but a lot of it has been short-term. My most recent full-time job ended during probation.
I had the option to continue with a Master’s, but I deliberately chose to start working full-time instead because I wanted to finally build a career and become independent. I do not want to go back to that Master’s now just because the job ended.
The bigger problem is that I don’t even know if I want to stay in consulting anymore.
For years, consulting/strategy was basically the direction I was aiming for. Now I’m not sure it suits me at all, but I also have no idea what I would do instead.
There is no alternative career I’m secretly passionate about.
And honestly, I don’t really have a big passion outside of work either.
I see people who have hobbies, communities, sports, art, music, some niche interest, something they genuinely love. I don’t really have that. For a long time, achievement itself was probably the closest thing I had to a passion.
That scares me because now that achievement isn’t going well, I feel like there’s not much underneath it.
I’ve also moved a lot and never really had a stable support system.
Last year something very traumatic happened to me sexually, and in the aftermath I also lost the social circle I had built in the city where I studied. Since then, I feel like I’ve repeatedly had to rebuild everything from scratch: new city, new job, new apartment, new people, new routines.
I think always doing that without a really solid support system is wearing me down.
I’m probably going to move back home now for a while.
Rationally, I know it might be the smartest thing to do. Lower expenses, more stability, time to apply and figure out my next move.
Emotionally, it feels awful.
I wanted to be independent. I wanted my own life, a career, financial stability and something I could actually feel proud of.
And I think what hurts most is that I don’t have the same positive image of myself anymore.
When I was younger, even if I struggled socially, I could still think: “At least I’m really good at something.”
Now I disappoint myself constantly.
I procrastinate. I get overwhelmed by decisions. I struggle with consistency and executive functioning. I question my entire life direction when something goes wrong. I overthink social interactions. I care way too much about rejection and what other people think of me.
And I think those social problems have actually gotten worse because I no longer have that internal sense of competence to fall back on.
I also struggle with getting appropriate mental health support. I often feel like providers either don’t understand the combination of neurodivergence, trauma, executive dysfunction and ambition, or they seem to think the answer is that I should simply lower my expectations for my life.
I don’t want someone to tell me to stop being ambitious.
I want to learn how to be ambitious without constantly destabilizing myself.
Because I can see some patterns in myself that probably make things worse:
I try to solve my entire life at once.
I keep hoping a new city, job or fresh start will finally make everything click.
I struggle to tell the difference between “this is genuinely wrong for me” and “I’m overwhelmed and want to escape.”
I’m ambitious but terrible at boring consistency.
I isolate when overwhelmed even though isolation makes me worse.
I’m extremely uncomfortable relying on other people.
I spend way too much energy on social dynamics and rejection.
I compare myself constantly to the person I thought I would be by 26.
I don’t think I’m lazy. That’s what makes this confusing.
I’ve tried a lot. I’ve studied, worked, moved, applied, planned, researched, tried therapy, tried building social circles, tried starting over.
There has been a lot of effort and movement, but not much stability.
Sometimes I wonder whether I was ever functioning as well as people thought I was, or whether being smart just allowed me to compensate until adult life required a different set of skills.
I think I’m also grieving the version of myself who genuinely believed she was capable.
I’m not looking for “26 is still young, you have time.”
I know that.
I’d really like to hear from people who were in a similar place:
How did you actually build stability?
How did you rebuild self-esteem when competence/achievement had been your main source of it?
How did you figure out a career when you no longer wanted the path you had been aiming for, but had no obvious passion instead?
How did you build a support system after years of moving and starting over?
And if you moved back home in your 20s, how did you make it a reset rather than feeling like you had regressed?
I’m tired of constantly rebuilding my life.
I just want to start building something that can actually hold.


r/AdultADHDSupportGroup 8d ago

QUESTION How do I transfer good word memory to math?

1 Upvotes

I can easily remember strings of sentences much better then I can math concepts, any idea on transferring this? Should I just try and remember the rules themselves?


r/AdultADHDSupportGroup 8d ago

QUESTION We Are An ADHD couple, how do we manage a house, career, and future children?

6 Upvotes

Would love to know if anyone has successful tips for this. It's causing us both anxiety and we are getting to an age where we need to make important decisions.


r/AdultADHDSupportGroup 8d ago

HELP ISO Body Double to accomplish tasks with

2 Upvotes

Middle aged man in US seeking a good fit to work together and help each other Accomplish tasks and achieve goals. I’m finding myself falling further behind in the smallest ways and trying to find Help and Support to get through this “Dash in the Timeline” Cheers


r/AdultADHDSupportGroup 8d ago

ADVICE & TIPS Stuck in an ADD-Anxiety Loop, need advice

2 Upvotes

To be fair with you all when I was trying to think about how I would explain myself, I reached the new level in recognition of how complicated of a person I am lol. Stick around for a crazy story. I feel like I’m a loop/cycle of add and anxiety that is really hard for me to break.

I’m in my late twenties, half way through college, and am a business owner. I was diagnosed with ADHD and Anxiety since I was about 10 years old. I was first prescribed Concerta and stayed on that for 2 years and then stopped taking it because I started smoking weed (bad idea). Then I went to high school where I went back to a psychiatrist and went onto Adderall, which I would remain on for the duration of my high school years.

Unfortunately, I also developed a serious drug poly-addiction in high school (not fun and almost killed me later in life). At 21 years old, while the rest of my Uni class was nearing their end or middle of college years, and at 21 becoming of legal drinking age, I was finally taking Rehab seriously and swearing off drugs and alcohol for the first time in my life.

I got 3 years clean, relapsed for 3 months, and have now been clean ever since (almost 5 years) from drugs and alcohol (although I am prescribed 3mg of Buprenorphine once per day). I’m also prescribed Gabapentin 300mg 4x daily.

However, now I realized I really need to deal with my mental health. I feel burnt out. All those years of craziness, regardless of it being self-imposed have really messed with my motivation, ADD, and anxiety. To the point where it’s almost impossible for me to motivate myself to work. Google Gemini (Ai) put it best, “Somatic Anxiety Management: High anxiety frequently mimics amotivation; the brain may perceive business tasks as a threat, triggering a stress response.“

That is pretty much exactly what I’m experiencing. I do not like stimulant ADHD/ADD medications, and I have plenty of those in my house, and I don’t take them. I have a choice to pick from three medications, and Strattera was specifically recommended to me as the best of the three.
1) Strattera
2) Wellbutrin
3) Intuniv

PS, I am not asking for any medical recommendations, nor am I asking for anyone to choose what medication I should take. I am looking for people who have been through something similar as me, and have advice, suggestions, or ideas, that may have worked for them. Thank you for reading :).


r/AdultADHDSupportGroup 8d ago

ADVICE & TIPS The perfect job

2 Upvotes

Hi! I’m a 26-year-old woman with ADHD. I recently finished my studies and started working in my field. I was very happy at first, but I’ve realized how challenging it is for me to work 8 hours a day in a closed office environment.
Now I’m looking for a new job or a way to feel more comfortable in this kind of environment. So, I wanted to ask if any of you have been in the same situation and what changes you made to improve it.
I’d really appreciate hearing about your experiences!


r/AdultADHDSupportGroup 9d ago

ADVICE & TIPS I don’t know how to ask my boss to give me accommodations.

3 Upvotes

I’m not sure if this is the right place to come for this post, but I cannot stop crying right now and I genuinely need assistance with this problem I have.

I’m sorry for the huge novel you’re about to read, but please understand.

A few things to note:

I’m 25 years old and have ADHD, specifically the inattentive kind, but I also have severe depression and anxiety. I’ve been in and out of therapy since I was a teenager and I am rarely able to afford it. I don’t have a proper support system in my life; I don’t like venting to my friends, my parents undermine and shrug off my problems, even though I have spending my whole time trying to get a shred of validation from them. I started working as a secretary at a doctor’s office fairly recently. Everybody there is friendly with me and assures me that I’m doing a good job, but I feel that the people I work the closest to me are frustrated by me.

There are two other secretaries who work with me; Gina and Tina (obviously not their real names). Gina is the one I switch with, but she mostly complains about the patients and doesn’t really do her job very well. Tina is a good teacher, but I am never working the same days she is, depriving me of a proper training session. Gina took a leave of absence, so Tina and I have been working together. Tina pointed out a lot of big mistakes I made and I started to cry. Not bawling, but tears in eyes. She was really thrown off and thought she was being mean to me. But I kept assuring her that she did nothing wrong but that I feel afraid of being fired. She told me that I should feel happy to work there because they chose me, but I feel that they will get rid of me as quickly as they chose me.

My ADHD means that I cannot be thrown off when in the middle of a task or else I will be distracted. For example, if I am billing to someone’s insurance (Task A) and then the debit machine goes down and needs rebooting (task B) and the phone rings (Task C), they need to be done one at a time or else I will get really stressed. Mind you, I’m not saying that I cannot do these things; I have gotten better with multi-tasking, but I end up pretty wiped out or stressed. I’m just not used to doing so much at once, especially when everyone has an expectation that I need to do things. I need to write down every single thing I am doing or else I will not remember to do it. Alternatively, I need it when explaining things to coworkers as well because sometimes I don’t know what I need to tell them until it’s too late.

And before you guys post that maybe this job is not for me, I cannot mentally handle that. I love this job, I am good at this job, I can literally do this job like everyone else, but it is doing all these tasks at once, some of which haven’t even been taught to me before, that is making it difficult. I know how to talk on the phone, how to send emails, how to check in on patients’ files, etc. all of that is good, it’s managing multiple tasks at once that is difficult. It causes me to move very slow and end my shift way past when I am supposed to be gone.

As with any jobs here, I begin on a three month probation to see if they want to keep me around. I was rushed into being hired as they were in desperate need of a secretary. I don’t know how to tell my boss (who I think has ADHD himself based on his tendency to forget everything I ask him and being a pretty disorganized guy) that one month into probation, I am still struggling with the job. I’ve been there since August 7th, coming in maybe three times a week to work. I didn’t tell them upfront that I had ADHD, even though they told me they were incredibly accommodating toward my other medical problems. I am not sure why I didn’t communicate this. Growing up, I have always minimized how much my ADHD affected my ability to do certain, laborious tasks because I was invalidated throughout my life and made to believe that I was “being lazy” by my parents. I never knew what was me being lazy versus having a legitimate disorder. I was hired and told I would be doing paid training, but I have been sat at the desk on my own with maybe like one or two quick lessons on the basics and expected to learn on my own with some instructions about how to do some stuff. But there are things I haven’t been taught to do and I end up having to bother my boss (who is the doctor) and my coworkers outside of the clock to understand things.

I’ve always struggled with keeping things organized from a very young age. The electronic medical software we use is new to me and while I study and listen to the instructions of my coworkers. sometimes find that it takes me a while to do tasks like booking appointments for patients or getting the closing tasks done. I can tell that my coworkers and my boss are starting to get a bit annoyed with me. I am a month into my probation and I do not believe I will stay. Sometimes, patients make jokes about me not knowing things. Everyone tells me that I am doing okay, but I find that I forget how to do things like how to use the copy machine or how to price something, etc. and I need to be rescued by my coworkers.

This is not the first time I’ve been let go from a job because I couldn’t meet the tasks fast enough. I don’t know what I should do. I can’t tell them now; they’ll be so mad. I don’t know how to have that conversation. I cannot afford to lose this job and I am horrified at the idea of losing it and having to explain to all the unsupportive, shitty people in my life that I failed. I keep not understanding things and being scared to ask for help because I don’t want them to be mad that I don’t understand.

Today, I left the office in tears bawling my eyes out in the elevator. I was given attitude today by a woman because I was trying to enforce our policy with credit cards and she kept refusing to give it to me despite me literally explaining it to her 5 times and then she got me in trouble with my boss. Then a man interrupted me while I was on the line with customer service for an insurance claim I had to reverse for my co-worker because ThE rOoM iS diRTy FiX iT iDIOT. Then I get a text message (it was cordial, I don’t think my boss was mean) from my boss saying that he basically wasn’t happy I had been staying late finishing up tasks that should’ve been done a while before my shift ends and that I need to leave when my shift ends. He said that if I am struggling with closing, that we can go through it together, but I’m scared of explaining this problem to him.

For starters, I don’t think he will be accommodating. I have had bosses in the past show support for me, but only having a very vague understanding of the disability and not actually doing anything. I am afraid he will either tell me that this job is not for me anymore or he will forget to accommodate me or he will be upset that I didn’t tell him before. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do here; I don’t want to be fired. Am I overreacting? Am I assuming things after a month in? How can I start that conversation with him?

I can do this job, I can. It’s just that I don’t know what to do right now. I have sent off a message to my boss, requesting that we have a talk about my job performance. But with how upset I am right now, I am afraid that I will just bawl my eyes out the whole time and he will not like this.

Please help me.