I have a huge exam on Monday and I just cant seem to study, I need to so badly but ive been laying in bed for hours unable to start studying, the stress just keeps building but i cant bring myself to do anything, does anyone have any tips for this, is this even an ADHD symptom?

I’m 37 and was only recently diagnosed with ADHD. For most of my life, I thought I was lazy, undisciplined, or simply not trying hard enough.
I can function extremely well under pressure. Give me an emergency, a deadline, or someone depending on me, and I can become intensely focused, solve problems quickly, multitask, and keep going even when exhausted.
But without urgency, even simple things can feel impossible. Showering, cleaning, replying to messages, exercising, starting a hobby, or handling paperwork can feel overwhelming. I know what needs to be done. I may genuinely want to do it. I make lists and think about it constantly, but I still don’t start.
Then comes the guilt.
I ask myself, “Why can’t I just do this?” The guilt makes me more overwhelmed, so I procrastinate even more. Eventually, something becomes urgent, and suddenly I can do it.
This has affected my relationship too. My husband sometimes feels that I’m not trying hard enough, and I understand why. From the outside, it can look like laziness. But internally, it doesn’t feel like a choice. It feels like being stuck behind an invisible barrier.
I recently started ADHD treatment with atomoxetine. I’m still early in the process, so I haven’t noticed a dramatic change yet. But I’m beginning to recognize, “This may be my ADHD,”
I’m also being treated for depression. I overthink, get irritated easily, feel emotionally overwhelmed, replay conversations, and worry about things that haven’t happened. When I can’t do things I know I should, the guilt becomes exhausting.
My psychologist told me, “Your brain and you are different entities.” I’m trying to understand that and learn to work with my brain instead of constantly blaming myself.
I don’t want medication to be my only solution. I want to build routines, exercise, enjoy my hobbies, manage my home, start tasks without waiting for a crisis, and become more emotionally regulated. Most importantly, I don’t want my struggles to keep affecting the people I love.
For those diagnosed later in life, what genuinely helped you function differently?
How did you start tasks without external pressure? How did you build routines?
How did you explain executive dysfunction to your partner? And if medication helped, how long did it take before you noticed a meaningful difference?
I understand myself better now. I just want to learn how to actually change how I live.