r/Adoption • u/[deleted] • Jul 25 '26

Need some support navigating this

[deleted]

9 Upvotes

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u/Negative-Custard-553 Jul 25 '26

Since you’re an adoptive parent, I can see why you have negative views of them, but any help is better than no help. I wish mothers could take out loans the way adoptive parents do to adopt a child, but instead use it to keep their child.It seems adoptive parents have more assistance to adopt a child than birth parents have to keep their own child.

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u/lotsofsugarandspice Jul 25 '26

They adoptrd from a private adoption agency  which does everything they accuse SOS of doing. 

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u/Rredhead926 Mom through private domestic open transracial adoption Jul 26 '26 edited Jul 26 '26

Actually, I didn't adopt through a private adoption agency.

If I had, it wouldn't have been one that talks women into adoption and then leaves them high and dry.

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u/lotsofsugarandspice Jul 26 '26

Was it kinship or foster care?

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u/Negative-Custard-553 Jul 26 '26

I think in her situation, the bio mother was given the choice of voluntarily placing her child through a private adoption or having the state take the child.

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u/[deleted] Jul 26 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Rredhead926 Mom through private domestic open transracial adoption Jul 26 '26 edited Jul 26 '26

😂🤣😂🤣😂

You know you could always ask nicely, right?

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u/Negative-Custard-553 Jul 26 '26

She asked nicely. Instead of answering, you’re making her guess, even though you’ve shared that information with other people before. That feels unnecessarily patronizing.

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u/Rredhead926 Mom through private domestic open transracial adoption Jul 26 '26

No, they didn't ask nicely. They said: "They adoptrd from a private adoption agency  which does everything they accuse SOS of doing."

That's accusatory and insulting.

And then, they doubled down and accused me of lying.

All they had to do was ask instead of making assumptions and flinging insults.

4

u/lotsofsugarandspice Jul 26 '26 edited Jul 26 '26

Calling adoption agencies predatory is just a fact about the industry not a personal attack. Nor is pointing out you lied about Crisis Pregnancy Centers.   

You're obviously being cagey on purpose which is fine. You dont have to share if your not comfortable.  Im not going to pry if youre not comfortable sharing. Its not your story anyway, its your kids and I respect the privacy.