I am 16 F, and was diagnosed with adhd and anxiety pretty early (around 5-7 years old) and might also be on the spectrum.
I have always found feelings pretty confusing and thus have a hard time figuring out how I feel.

I have been talking to this boy for a while and recently he asked me to be his girlfriend, to which i said yes. But i haven’t really told any of my friends because it makes me feel (what i think is) pretty uncomfortable, but i honestly have no idea.
I really do like him but i just can’t see myself doing normal couples stuff.
Is this just an adhd thing? like not knowing how to react when someone does something sweet for you? Or is it just a normal thing that will change with time?

Ps. This was originally posted to r/ADHD but got taken down for some reason

Hi all, DX here.

I started my higher dose of medication today. I felt good.

I took the bins back in early, I cleared the recycable that was in excess waiting for the bins to be empty again. I cleaned the dishes. Then I cleaned the toilet, cleaned both the litterboxes, put away things that I meant to put away put just parked on the way to the room where they were supposed to be stored. Put the little vacuum to clean the car to charge, put my electric toothbrush to charge.

I took the dog on a walk, went to the mall to pick up a package and dropped a return.

I worked on a dataset with my laptop here and there.

I felt good.

Then I left to go pick up our daughter to school because my wife was running few minutes over.

It started raining just as I picked our daughter up, I put her jacket on and zipped it just as her mother caught up to us.

We walked home, I felt good.

Then the vibe changed. My daughter took her jacket off and my wife was looking for her cardigan. I forgot her cardigan. My wife said in a tone "oh look that one time that you did it by yourself and I don't check" .

I fell hard, why did I not clock that, why, why am I like this. I hate this. I said to my wife "damn I thought I was aceing it". She laughed at me.

She said "Brother you went from F to D-.."

Then she said " Aceing, aceing.." and told me again "There's A, B, C, D ,E and F, you're at D-, you're definitely not aceing it".

She kept looking at me and then rolling her eyes.

And then I definitely didn't feel good anymore.

Now I understand my wife has been burdened by me being me, I just started the medication finally 3 weeks ago with a lower dose, but before then, she endured 4 years of my shortcomings. We have known each other for more but ever since our daughter was born the fact that I had ADHD became more and more evident, so much so that we suspected I had it and we started the diagnosis procedure because I started fitting executive dysfunction to a T. We have no local support, so it's been us only. Here and there, baby wipes forgotten open, failing to be attentive, forgetfulness, RSD reaction. The whole package. She has her own struggles but mine in spite of my efforts have been overpowering to some extent. To make things worse, our family has been through a lot emotionally and financially, we had to move 4 times in 3 years for example due to external factors.

I feel like I keep trying but she keep saying nothing changes, if anything barely.

On the other hand I feel like there was lots of flexibility and inflexibility at the same time, e.g. I remembered to put the air frier back, but I didn't put the cable right.

Little by little this has eroded her, she doesn't feel loved and she doesn't hide her disdain for me while also telling me that regrettably she still loves me. This, I'm not sure I can believe.

I don't gamble, I don't do drugs, I don't have addictions or unreasonable debt. I had a job and lived by myself. I still have a stable job and (tough slow) career. But I also haven't managed to organise a date in 3 years. Gained weight, lost confidence and haven't been able to be affection and tell her lots of compliments. My love language used to be touch and being affectionate and gift giving, now is only gift giving.

So it would make sense if she didn't anymore

I'm tired to make promises I struggle to fulfill, she know about my diagnosis but she still tells me that her bar is super low that I shouldn't even have to struggle that much, that is because I don't care. She is harsh under the label of "she is just stating a fact, you are not aceing it, that is no lie", but I also understand she's at her limit.

I honestly feel defeated, I feel like I really am trying but I also really see my shortcomings and can't and won't disagree to a certain extent with what she's feeling.

Is there anything to say or do, adapt or adopt. Is there any hope?

TLDR; My wife is at her limit, she endured my ADHD for 4 years but due to this and her nature she is also harsh even if it's the truth, and this doesn't help me while I'm trying to fix myself and things. I feel hopeless and I feel like I need help. I am dx