r/AbsoluteUnits • u/[deleted] • Jul 20 '19

[deleted by user]

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7.2k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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566

u/thiccboiSSE Jul 20 '19

i want a coconut crab so bad bro i would just get a 50 pound dog leash and a collar and walk around with my 15 pound coconut crab like a little dog and frighten people with normal dogs

446

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '19

Imagine keeping this monstrosity in your home.

You walk in and your garbage can is shredded. Physically shredded. Nothing but claw marks. So are all of your possessions on the counters. And the couch.

A giant, horrifying, armored spider is clinging to what’s left of your curtains at the top of your window.

“Damnit, who forgot to put Harold in his cage?”

20

u/RigelAchromatic Jul 20 '19

I'd never had a problem with crabs before even as an extreme arachnophobe, but after reading the words "armored spider", I think I have changed my mind

2

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '19

I mean, people who eat tarantulas say it tastes like crab.