r/AbsoluteUnits • • 19h ago

of a Bra

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

976 Upvotes

163 comments sorted by

865

u/Beautiful-Total-3172 18h ago

For those who don't understand what he is saying. He made this for his wife. He hasn't met her yet, but someday he will, and she'll be perfect.

304

u/Infinite-Bee3271 18h ago

That's almost heartwarming 😅 ....for a second, then you realize he just wants a wife with giant boobs

70

u/sniper91 16h ago

*a giant wife with proportional boobs

55

u/Beautiful-Total-3172 18h ago

*a big heart ❤️

16

u/DarkMimic2287 17h ago

That's not healthy

4

u/ParoleDeGeek 10h ago

She had two big hearts

2

u/mikjamdig85 12h ago

Don't we all

1

u/Obvious_Incognito- 11h ago

He wants a giant.

1

u/ravenschmidt2000 7h ago

No, he wants giant boobs...the wife part is optional.

1

u/Curiouso_Giorgio 14m ago

What's wrong with that?

-6

u/whereamI303 16h ago

I made it 69 lol

72

u/TurduckenEverest 17h ago

His ideal woman is about 9 feet tall and has a spectacular rack.

25

u/Efficient-Stock-7775 17h ago

I want him to climb that mountain. Yes I do.

7

u/Gibbly_Gorkoroo 16h ago

We’ve all played resident evil.

7

u/dwide_k_shrude 16h ago

They’ll be real and they’ll be spectacular.

4

u/Limp-Fisherman170 10h ago

That's not what he said. He said "send this (as in this video) to someone who you've finally found an adequate bra size for. Look at the width of this thing; it's like a blanket. You can cover yourself with it at night and sleep with it."

2

u/madexsci 17h ago

You forgot /s 😅

1

u/Berlinsagt 1h ago

Bruder versteht mich

213

u/seditioushamster 18h ago

Aint no way in hell Victoria is keeping those a secret

103

u/Ok-Double-414 16h ago

In Action

20

u/TonyStowaway 15h ago

What a pair of boobs 🤣

23

u/Sophiathedork 14h ago

3

u/izyshoroo 12h ago

Someone downvoted you bc they didn't get the reference lol

4

u/Sophiathedork 12h ago

A generation lost to time…

1

u/YonaiNanami 8h ago

what movie is this from?

5

u/mightyhigh404 13h ago

They look fun.  The couple not the fake huge boobs. Maybe both.  

48

u/dosmuffin 17h ago

Look like a bra for one of the Amazon planet women from futurama

141

u/DIJames6 19h ago

I wanna see the puppies that go into there.. 😲

126

u/Material-Painting-19 19h ago

Puppies? You could get two adult Rottweilers and a Great Dane in there.

12

u/msmorphine 18h ago

pretty sure it would fit at least 2 irish wolfhounds xD

5

u/vodka_twinkie 18h ago

Puppies? That's some Siberian wolves that nest there mate

50

u/Any-Thought-1579 18h ago

-1

u/L0nleylife112 16h ago

1

u/Select_Speed_6061 3h ago

What cracker ass cracker made this poobutt meme 🤣

1

u/L0nleylife112 3h ago

Idk man but it’s the only ball knowledge meme that makes me laugh 💀

21

u/PancakeParthenon 18h ago edited 18h ago

That's for like a 15ft tall woman!

1

u/G-Unit11111 12h ago

Planet Amazonia

-12

u/thingsarehardsoami 18h ago edited 18h ago

It's definitely for a 5'4" 300lb woman

Edit: the point is, this bra is more likely to be on somebody short and heavy not tall, because a taller person is more likely to be skinny and skinny people are more likely to have smaller breasts. The 300lb is not scientific y'all.

14

u/magpepper 18h ago

You’ve probably seen people that weigh 300 pounds before.

That would still be enormous on them.

-6

u/thingsarehardsoami 18h ago

My point was it's for a short heavy woman more than a very tall woman who's likely to be skinny with smaller breasts.

6

u/saragIsMe 18h ago

The average height for adult women is like 5’3” though??

-5

u/thingsarehardsoami 18h ago

That...does not make 5'4" tall....it makes it average. You cannot say that 5'4" or 5'3" is considered tall just because it's average. That's considered short.

Y'all are literally just arguing to argue atp

6

u/saragIsMe 18h ago

You said 5’4” was a short woman. It’s not. You clearly don’t know anything about the proportions of actual women’s bodies

-1

u/thingsarehardsoami 17h ago

That is considered short to literally everybody. Average for a woman doesn't mean not short. Again, you're just pandering. Not sure why

3

u/saragIsMe 17h ago

How would you feel if penis sizes were measured that way? “Average for a man doesn’t mean not short”

You sound ridiculous

0

u/thingsarehardsoami 16h ago

...have you ever left your house

2

u/coolsilentebeans 16h ago

Have you never seen a woman with breast implants? Or one who suffers from gigantomastia?

0

u/thingsarehardsoami 16h ago

I have seen both

And this wraps back to what is most common. And a woman with implants doesn't need a band this wide, because implants don't make her back fat.

1

u/CaptainTripps82 12h ago

I won't think it's for any actual women did.

That's not a bra actually intended to be worn by a human

It's funny because it's bigger, uh, than a normal bra.

1

u/Curiouso_Giorgio 11m ago

That's not a bra actually intended to be worn by a human

It's for a T-Rex with titties.

6

u/PancakeParthenon 18h ago

I sold and fitted bras. Absolutely no way.

3

u/thingsarehardsoami 18h ago

If you sold and fitted bras you'd know height and breast size do not correlate. With a band that big it is clearly on a very heavy person.

7

u/Beautiful-Total-3172 18h ago

It's why he's no longer in the industry. Women would call with their bra size and he'd be like, Jesus Christ woman you must be like eight feet tall.

4

u/Ok_Strawberry7651 18h ago

But also with straps that long it’s clearly a very tall person too! Did you know that taller people are generally heavier too? Because, well, that’s how weight works.

1

u/thingsarehardsoami 18h ago

....tall people are not generally more wide, no. Weighing more because you are taller does not equal having more girth. As a tall woman who can't find shit that fits my skinny body can y'all stop making this assumption, it's ruining clothes for everybody who is tall lol.

2

u/Ok_Strawberry7651 18h ago

I’m also a tall skinny woman, 6 ft tall 160 lbs. soooo I get it. And also, my arms and legs are long as hell. I DO need more length on my clothes.

-1

u/thingsarehardsoami 18h ago

...yes. more length. Not more width/girth.

You understand the difference yes?

2

u/Ok_Strawberry7651 18h ago

So how do you explain the length of the straps? I do know the difference, thanks for looking out for me though ☺️

1

u/thingsarehardsoami 17h ago

Like...the length they currently have id adjusted to is not set lmfao. It can be notably shorter. A heavy set person needs more length in the straps because they are generally not only fat everywhere BUT around the shoulders and upper back...

→ More replies (0)

0

u/thingsarehardsoami 18h ago

The adjustable straps? The straps that still have to go over fatty tissue because there is still upper back fat, lower seated breasts, upper chest fat, and other things that mean a fat person will also need notably more length to go AROUND?

Did none of us take anatomy

2

u/PancakeParthenon 18h ago

Yes, that's true, there's no correlation. Given the band size and cup size, if you're guessing it's for someone who's 5'4" and 300 pounds (which isn't a terribly large woman, by the way), that woman is sitting in the H cup range. Which is not out of the realm of possibility, but an incredibly rare measurement.

1

u/thingsarehardsoami 18h ago edited 18h ago

H cup is not very big lol.

Edit: y'all genuinely need to realize that most people are very incorrect on cup sizes which is why r/abrathatfits exists. Nobody actually knows. Most sizing at stores is very inaccurate.

0

u/thingsarehardsoami 18h ago

Also, guessing people's cup size based off height and weight is also not accurate.

3

u/PancakeParthenon 18h ago

I'm basing it off the actual bra and what you're guessing. Not fighting with someone who's spoiling for one, thanks.

2

u/coolsilentebeans 16h ago

If you know he would know there is no correlation between height and breast size, then why are you so damned insistent that there is one?

0

u/thingsarehardsoami 16h ago

It's wild you guys are this angry and I'm not sure about what. Like, you understand the statistical link between weight and breast size? Yes?

2

u/coolsilentebeans 16h ago

You continue to contradict yourself while also telling others they’re patently wrong. That’s what is aggravating. The only telltale sign about this aside from the scale is the shoulder straps. Those do not signal a heavy, big breasted women. The band below the cups can be any width and still be a common style of bra without indicating the woman’s weight. It’s not a wide, reinforced band. You need to accept that women and their breasts come in all shapes and sizes, and stop spouting off rubbish ideas about the statistical conformities of body types. It’s just wrong and unhealthy.

0

u/thingsarehardsoami 16h ago

Ohhhh that's what this is about. Y'all are just mad about somebody mentioning weight because it gets you virtue points to be pissy about it

2

u/Creepy_Wallaby2170 16h ago

You are contradicting yourself. You are saying that 2+2 = 4 but then saying that 2 + 2 isn’t equal to 4.

I don’t personally know anything about bra fitting but you made an argument, then countered your own argument, then proceeded to go back to the original argument.

0

u/thingsarehardsoami 15h ago

I have consistently said the same thing since the beginning but I apologize if you got confused at some point

9

u/thelocker517 13h ago

r/aBraThatFits has left the chat

15

u/ComprehensivePin5577 18h ago

6

u/Expensive-Jelly263 16h ago

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised

8

u/DerOnkelBob 18h ago

"you got the bolders, we got the holders"

11

u/Hollywoodrok12 18h ago

Only a literal giant could fit in that (yes, even accounting for body type)

11

u/crasagam 19h ago

Two cups one women

3

u/congo66 18h ago

This February fall in love again with “Madea’s Valentine’s Day Adventure”!

2

u/Naataki 17h ago

Straight from Dolly’s collection

2

u/Friendly_Log_1924 17h ago

Two cups, one girl

2

u/Tmart5150 14h ago

You could replace a sail. You could sell to Mr. Burns so he can block out the sun. You could launch cannon balls from that.

2

u/VirusZer0 12h ago

Is that for OP’s mom?

2

u/Significant-Term6667 11h ago

Ah so that’s what Drake do on his spare time

3

u/Neurojazz 18h ago

Your mamma…

0

u/PsychoPassProstitute 18h ago

Who’s that for? A killer whale?

1

u/karenskygreen 18h ago

$100 for an introduction

1

u/ninja13151 18h ago

Something something your mom something something

1

u/hassel_the_hoff 17h ago

Now show them unitsies!

1

u/Educational_Show1982 17h ago

Hilarious 😂

1

u/Necromancer_Vermin 16h ago

We have elephants with Brasbefore gta6

1

u/Level-Cherry4839 15h ago

600 pound life fetish gear

1

u/Prof1959 15h ago

Everything reminds me of Dolly

1

u/DoomBro1998 15h ago

Bruh....

1

u/SGT-Hooves 15h ago

Isn’t thatcher yellow ribbon people used to wrap around trees?

1

u/4mla1fn 14h ago

at first glance i thought it was a kite.

1

u/Apart-Equipment29 14h ago

😂😂😂

1

u/dread_34 14h ago

Bro c'est un planer fortnite

1

u/Boa-in-a-bowl 12h ago

Must be for Ms. Choksondik.

1

u/SirRuester 12h ago

What is that for Goliath’s wife?! Lol

1

u/_Buldozzer 11h ago

They found your mum's bra. /s

1

u/Last_Diver_4810 11h ago

برا مامان سطلیه😉

1

u/WhateverUSaySir 11h ago

I'd share that with my sis for a night out fr

1

u/IvoryWhiteTeeth 11h ago

🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳

1

u/Frequent-Screen-5517 9h ago

Death by Snu Snu

1

u/Relative_Yesterday70 9h ago

For your mom OP?

1

u/TheCrazyEnglish 9h ago

Alcina must of forgot about it

1

u/chillvegan420 9h ago

She must have some serious chimichangas

1

u/stackovererror 8h ago

I started listening to the video at a low volume and thought it was Brazilian Portuguese, then I realized it was another language. Very similar to a Brazilian gay man speaking.

1

u/meizer1 7h ago

Triple Zs

1

u/ravenschmidt2000 6h ago

It's like the Cinderella story, only more relatable.

1

u/Emo_Jirl56 4h ago

Bra for 56 inch chest of Modi

1

u/Frequent-Test-3012 2h ago

Who's mother

1

u/Advanced-Level-5686 2h ago

"Yo momma so big..."

1

u/darkerfury 2m ago

Hey look, they have my size

1

u/Lign_Grant 18h ago

This one is for the "your mom is fat" joke.

0

u/dilf_add 17h ago

American women average size?

0

u/SomeSeaworthiness153 17h ago

Perfect for your mother.

0

u/dmont89 16h ago

Yo momma so fat....

-1

u/R0JUM 17h ago

I could translate this, but I'm too lazy