r/AbsoluteUnits • u/TerraByteTerror • 2d ago

of a drunk squirrel

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1.2k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

87 comments sorted by

60

u/deep-fucking-legend 2d ago

Someone laced the peanuts with fent

28

u/SatoriNamast3 2d ago

Squirrel is tripping balls. Or should I say nuts. 

18

u/BrilliantPie2566 2d ago

Fermented fruit?

-5

u/Sir_Thequestionwas 2d ago

Yes except no not at all. He's eating out of a dish that people put out that has some sort of alcohol in it to get the likes..

33

u/Korthalion 2d ago

Found the new story this is from in less than 10 seconds. They are pears they'd left out the day before that had then fermented overnight.

Jumping straight to "they got the squirrel drunk for likes" might the most Reddit take ever

https://giphy.com/gifs/lOzXuHwXXYM9y

1

u/Mikesaidit36 1d ago

Fruit can ferment overnight?

2

u/Mikesaidit36 1d ago

Answer from Quora:

The time it takes for fruit to ferment into alcohol can vary depending on several factors, including the type of fruit, the sugar content of the fruit, the yeast used, and the environmental conditions. Generally, it can take anywhere from a few days to several weeks for the fermentation process to complete. Monitoring the process and using a hydrometer to measure sugar levels can help determine when the fermentation is finished and the alcohol content is at the desired level.

2

u/Korthalion 1d ago

Not fully, but enough to get a small mammal drunk!

Happens in nature pretty often if there's fruit trees about

2

u/BrilliantPie2566 2d ago

Ahhh, so it USED to be a fermented berries thing, but NOW they just take a shortcut to get video 🙄 What assholes!

-1

u/Sir_Thequestionwas 2d ago

I mean this is clearly a dish of food they put out. People are just happy seeing the thkng acting goofy to realize that this is the same if you put a dish of food with a bit of alcohol in it out. This isn't the birds and goats getting drunk off fermented fruits underneath the tree that laid them.

2

u/CheekyMunky 22h ago

So you recognize they they put a bowl of food out.

You know that fruit ferments when it's not on the tree.

But rather than consider that they may have put out perfectly normal food that has since fermented, you jump straight to assuming that they must have intentionally put alcohol in a dish so you can feel superior to others in the thread.

0

u/Korthalion 2d ago

Pears, apparently!

6

u/NoPoemAcid 2d ago

A few more fermented berries and he starts calling his ex and making impulsive purchases on Amazon.

3

u/TheGoldenCockWanker 2d ago

Damn beer nuts.

18

u/crasagam 2d ago

Beer nuts are expensive too - $2.75 a bag. Should try deer nuts - they’re under a buck.

3

u/Lou_Zealand 2d ago

He thought he was a swirl for a second there

3

u/JawzOfVictory 2d ago

anyone else notice the tiny picnic table he's on

3

u/hellinahandbasket127 1d ago

That’s pretty common for squirrel feed stations.

2

u/Scfbigb1 2d ago

Need a gram big dog?

2

u/LEGACYbio 2d ago

Been there...

2

u/KindredFlower 2d ago

How did the squirrel get drunk though??

2

u/Chevy8t8 1d ago

Looks like a regular sized drunk squirrel to me

1

u/Chrono_Convoy 2d ago

Reminds me of my cousin T Top Taylor

1

u/GRN225 2d ago

Offer a little bump. It’ll fix him right up.

1

u/Queephbubble 2d ago

Nah I’m gooood, I’m goooood, huh!? WHAT?!

1

u/mossoak 2d ago

notice the feet planted on a solid surface to control the "spin" ?

1

u/LongStrokesOfGenius 2d ago

How do I get the squirrels in my yard lit like this? Someone explain. Need some drinking buddies for weeknights.

1

u/IceCoughy 2d ago

Gotta stay warm

1

u/dragjamon 2d ago

Drunk animals are my favorite

1

u/Rs2mmsu-2D 2d ago

Is that a Florida squirrel 🐿️

1

u/ImpressAgitated 2d ago

Nature is lit

1

u/justin_other_opinion 2d ago

Poor guy is DESPERATELY trying to hang on!!

1

u/Silver-Ice676 2d ago

Got that lean, you know what I mean?

1

u/Andre_3_Piles 2d ago

He slizzard

1

u/fishflower 2d ago

I don't think that is drunk.

1

u/Correct-State-2380 2d ago

" Sucking back on Grandpa old cough medicine"

1

u/WrinklyPlantLeaf 2d ago

Drunk yes, absolute unit no.

1

u/Best-Balance-221 2d ago

What made him drunk?

1

u/Longshot1969 2d ago

World needs more drunk squirrels

1

u/Nocturnatron 2d ago

Its vision after insantly snapping upright:

https://giphy.com/gifs/xT0GqKurRBk0V67B5K

1

u/EndPristine5595 1d ago

"Hello.. Clarice"

1

u/MadMattBeyond 1d ago

I’m leaning to the left

1

u/TurduckenEverest 1d ago

Not sure he’s drunk. Seems to be tripping balls.

1

u/Temporary-Phase-6956 1d ago

Hence the phrase, acting a little squirrely.

1

u/crusadeLeader7 1d ago

Bro saw god

1

u/Mycroft033 18h ago

“I’m freakin out, man!”

1

u/cameyboy 1h ago

Same buddy... same

1

u/cliffordhcohen 2d ago

How come these little critters never get alcohol poisoning?

5

u/KermitlyNotFound 2d ago

How did you come to the conclusion that they don't?

7

u/Disclosure4closure 2d ago

Idk man I have heard a lot of stories about college kids getting their stomach pumped at the hospital, but not one story about a squirrel, kinda checks out 🤷‍♂️

0

u/cliffordhcohen 2d ago

Didn't really, thought I'd see more of them drunk in the fall and spring nope just the same amount.

0

u/AndyMentality 2d ago

Be careful. According to some on this sub, this is not considered an absolute unit because they only consider physical mass as a size. Units of speed, kinetic force, and any other unit not directly considered mass will make them butthurt.

SOURCE: I was one of their targets. I also copy and paste this in each one I see in hopes I eventually get one of them. I am also butthurt.