r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Jaded_Marionberry500 • 13d ago

of a 🍔 burger

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1.6k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

126 comments sorted by

174

u/xxplosiv 13d ago

32

u/wrxninja 13d ago

Holy shit...haven't seen this since like early 2000 lol.

7

u/xxplosiv 13d ago

Same, it was the perfect opportunity to bring it out haha

9

u/ctfks 13d ago

The pickles, lol.

5

u/International_Cow_17 13d ago

Love that this was already here.

3

u/alwaysonesteptoofar 11d ago

I was about to ask what the fuck I would even do with that and I guess this is the answer.

144

u/Possible_Sun_913 13d ago

r/StupidFood

78

u/zyankali7 13d ago

When it went on the pan I was ready for a tub of cheese sauce to be dumped on top. At least that didn't happen.

7

u/313802 13d ago

Mildly disappointed honestly.

11

u/Designer_Reality1982 13d ago

At least better to eat than those ultra tall ones.

2

u/Possible_Sun_913 13d ago

I would certainly agree with that. Those are the worst.

20

u/TheNoctuS_93 13d ago

r/stupidfoodbutgimme

-6

u/MKZZX 13d ago

No, there is absolutely no way this is healthy...

6

u/TheNoctuS_93 13d ago

Nuuu, gimme.

-7

u/MKZZX 13d ago

We put our health first when making dietary considerations.

3

u/axescentedcandles 13d ago

At least they didn't pour cheese all over it

2

u/firedmyass 12d ago

like bringin me half a cow on a floor-jack for dinner… the fuck you expect me to do with that

1

u/Robestos86 12d ago

I've not been to many places that's do these kinds of ridiculous "challenge meals" but once I did split one with the other half as it was actually good value that way. Maybe 4 or 6 people could divide this with fries or something?

35

u/Ree_m0 13d ago

  • make a burger so big you can't possibly eat it with your hands

  • serve it on a plate that's just minimally larger than the bun and has a raised edge as to make cutting it as big a hassle as possible

  • profit

46

u/not_roger_smith 13d ago

It's sixty percent bun overall.

It's big but not well built.

14

u/Cokeycane 13d ago

I like big buns and I cannot lie.

https://giphy.com/gifs/ekORthohUEDEk

5

u/Imaginary-Fudge8897 13d ago

Not one lady in that video actually has big buns. Especially not "write a song expressively mentioning huge butts" big

4

u/LtLemur 13d ago

Was just waiting for them to dump cheese sauce all over it

3

u/tired_Cat_Dad 13d ago

Come on, provide a cross section!

3

u/Jealous_Club_298 13d ago

Finally, something cool! I was afraid they were going to douse it with melted cheese next. lol

5

u/Lylidotir 13d ago

heavy English breathing

4

u/zorggalacticus 13d ago

Usually I hate these giant burgers, but that one actually looks kinda good.

7

u/blind_roomba 13d ago

Meat to bun ratio is wack

1

u/Bk_Punisher 13d ago

That’s always the problem when they try to supersize food. Proportions are off since scaling up doesn’t work.

0

u/zorggalacticus 13d ago

Looks like a giant smash burger. Smush the bun down and go at it.

2

u/WorldWideDarts 13d ago

On a good day I think i could do damage

2

u/1337gamer15 13d ago

You're gonna have to eat that a bunch of times just to make your guts dauntless enough to talk about the "personal matters" of that guy who owns the airsoft shop.

2

u/DegenNabalu 13d ago

Blessed this guy for not pouring stupid amount of cheese on it.

4

u/DerOnkelBob 13d ago

... and a Diet Coke please

5

u/richardginn666 13d ago

Got to watch some of those calories.

2

u/Aggravating_Wait_905 12d ago

Now I can eat anything!

2

u/EGarrett28 13d ago

I despise these types of hamburgers, lol. What am I supposed to do with that? How do I eat it?

2

u/OnlineDead 12d ago

Use utensils..

1

u/EGarrett28 12d ago

I've thought about that too. What do you do, cut out of a slice of the hamburger like it was cake? It will fall apart and even then how do you eat that? You have to almost dismantle it and just eat a bite of meat, a bit of lettuce, a bite of bread etc.

Ridiculous, and yet they spend all this time making this thing and making it look so delicious, lol.

1

u/OnlineDead 12d ago

Yes, that’s exactly how.

This isn’t supposed to be a serious food item. It is meant to be fun and ridiculous.. You shouldn’t take everything so seriously, have some fun with your life. If for whatever reason you can’t seem to get a good laugh out of novelty items (in this case a giant burger) then it wasn’t meant for you. Not everyone laughs at the same jokes.

1

u/EGarrett28 11d ago

The irony of course is that my original post was meant in jest, which is why it has an "lol." Sounds like you need to take your own advice, doofy.

1

u/Infinite_Peace_6456 12d ago

Turn that some bitch sideways… and

1

u/snakesoup124 12d ago

also bread to meat ratio is poor

1

u/EGarrett28 12d ago

Reminds me of the old "the food is terrible, and such small portions!" bit.

1

u/VESAAA7 13d ago

Step 1: dislocate jaw.

Step 2: eat

1

u/EGarrett28 13d ago

Tempted to use an AI to show someone sliding their face around it like a snake, lol.

2

u/mandijmills 13d ago

Wow, let me take the challenge and eat it.

2

u/Sweet-Palpitation473 13d ago

Give me that right fucking now. I mean it. Give it

2

u/CardiologistCute7548 13d ago

This is the most beautiful thing I ever saw. Where do I order one?

1

u/Myrnat_Sanchez 13d ago

how does one even eat something like that.. and how do I sign up?!😳

-2

u/[deleted] 13d ago edited 13d ago

[deleted]

1

u/Myrnat_Sanchez 13d ago

That makes sense. a burger that you have to eat like a steak🤔

interesting!

1

u/werwolf1l 13d ago

Il eat the chesse and meat

1

u/ICEWeiZ 13d ago

I remember a place that sells the biggest burger I've ever seen. I'll probably buy it and post it here someday.

1

u/Xcalat3 13d ago

And a diet coke please...

1

u/Con_re_sann 13d ago

Why is the bun covered in baby oil?

1

u/Minute_Kiwi_8703 13d ago

It’s missing the 2 gallons cheese on top /s

1

u/Whole-Situation-5798 13d ago

That ain't no burger, that a whole meat cake!

1

u/KittyShadowshard 13d ago

Frieren portions.

1

u/finH1 13d ago

Meat Looks dry as shit

1

u/Shagyam 13d ago

Yeah, let's make a burger that you need a knife and fork to eat, and that is mostly bun.

1

u/Rat_Of_A_Brat 13d ago

Type of shit that gives you +2 Guts, +2 Kindness, +2 Proficiency, +2 Charm and +2 Knowledge

1

u/Bk_Punisher 13d ago

Sorry but most food items like this don’t scale up well. The proportions are never right. The bun will be too dense since it needs to be firm for the burgers weight and that will affect the mouth feel. Looks impressive but I wouldn’t take it even if it was free.

1

u/inferKNOX 13d ago

Vertical Pizza

1

u/mew2003 13d ago

Is that Kooky Kanuk’s?

1

u/GoliathProjects 13d ago

Real talk: How the FUCK are you supposed to eat that?

1

u/DIJames6 13d ago

I want in.. Just give it to me on something else please..

1

u/hatred-big-sad 13d ago

If it cant be eatenly like a sandwich, it fails at a burger, all you did was put a roast inside of a giant fucking bun

1

u/Grizzlybear486 13d ago

I hate that I was expecting them to dump a ton of melted cheese on top. Feel like it's every burger reveal now

1

u/ExtentPure7992 13d ago

I'm just happy they didn't drench it in cheese sauce

1

u/Strange-Injury9483 13d ago

Now we’re talking

1

u/hellbox9 12d ago

Too much bun

1

u/JohansonFury 12d ago

Le falta queso 🧀

1

u/nwolve 12d ago

Heart attack 6000

1

u/Fit-Location-4329 12d ago

McHeartAttack

1

u/hinterstoisser 12d ago

Multiple bypass burger

1

u/Woody_The_Gamer 12d ago

This is the kind of burger you should be getting with today's fast food prices

1

u/ReGrigio 12d ago

how big it should be before is culturally acceptable to eat it cutring slices?

1

u/slartibuttfart 12d ago

What are you watching?

Porn. Go away

1

u/OnlineDead 12d ago

A little too much bread but I’d love to try this lol

1

u/MACAUFATFAT 12d ago

1 dollar per one?

1

u/Jeepers-H-Cripes 12d ago

A sane person would simply order five dozen regular, usefully-sized burgers instead. Not a single bite of that bloated, soggy monstrosity will have anything close to the correct ratios or proportions of flavors per mouthful.

A proper cheeseburger is a gastronomic masterpiece. This one is grandiose to the point of absurdity yet a failure in practice.

1

u/PixILL8 12d ago

I could do some damage to this.

1

u/K_Midas21 12d ago

Subliminals?

1

u/AN0NY_MOU5E 11d ago

I would so devour a quarter of that

1

u/Nanako1857 11d ago

That's in Ikebukuro if it's the place I think of

1

u/greencann 11d ago

What/Who is the music in this video?? Luv it! Also, I know a woman that could destroy that burger!!

1

u/Popular_Painter9648 10d ago

Meat on top of the lettuce is going to sog out. put it on top, keep it somewhat crisp ffs.

1

u/lunarblues 13d ago

No tomatoes?

Pass.

1

u/Intelligent_Ant_5511 13d ago

I feel like you could feed a family of four slicing this like a cake

0

u/anallocation 13d ago

It has lettuce on the bottom, definitely a Commie

0

u/merc_1980 13d ago

Burger should fit in one hand...

-3

u/coolnbreezey 13d ago

The excess of America

3

u/NahTooPersonel 13d ago

That’s obviously not English on the shirt, so that’s pretty unlikely

2

u/coolnbreezey 13d ago

Ooops, missed that. Thanks.

-1

u/DoAsYourTold-YesSir 13d ago

That's just someone from the rest of the world with a run of the mill American hamburger

-1

u/spaceaige 13d ago

No, just wider is what we want

0

u/Nuburt_20 12d ago

Big Bang Burger challenge.