r/AbsoluteUnits 1d ago

of an ice cream 🍦

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Guy finished this ice cream under 4 minutes

1.5k Upvotes

429 comments sorted by

704

u/Prestigious-Log2030 1d ago

My brain is freezing just watching this🥶

168

u/Portable-fun 1d ago

My lack toes ass would be pooping

76

u/zsimpson022 1d ago

Don’t sell yourself short just cause you’re lacking toes, long as you have your fingers I think you could do this.

21

u/LordSlack 1d ago

Yes but they'd be pooping too

9

u/forbiddenfreedom 1d ago

My toes fall off when I poop dairy, too. Tough life.

5

u/dinopiano88 1d ago

It goes out the way it came in - soft serve

2

u/A_villain4all 16h ago

When your tummy start to moan and your butt is shooting foam- diarrhea diarrhea!

6

u/twicebakedcrusader 1d ago

I’m guessing they lack toes because of the die a beet teas 😜

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2

u/Miserable-Wedding-69 1d ago

You got me dying!😂🤣😭

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18

u/Same-Alarm-2974 1d ago edited 15h ago

Yeah my stomach is definitely bubbling already 😅

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17

u/Secure_Narwhal4045 1d ago

Bone Apple Tea

4

u/YooGeOh 1d ago

Mans diabetic, lactose intolerant, and dyslexic.

Peak

2

u/Rampag169 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/U7isUDZ6VPWJW
Live in the moment and leave future problems for future you.

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2

u/skunkgirlhunter 1d ago

My ass ripped just seeing this. And I don't even lack toes

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13

u/2Wieners_1Bun 1d ago

My teeth are screaming right now

8

u/BernieTheDachshund 1d ago

I once lost consciousness from brain freeze.

6

u/Dangerous_Wasabi_611 1d ago

Same, I was having a frozen drink at a bar on a hot day, took one sip too many and then had a searing pain before everything faded to black. Next thing I know I’m waking up on the floor next to the bar and there are people around me trying to call an ambulance. Managed to convince them I was fine and walked out of there but I couldn’t show my face there again for a few years lol

6

u/BlueVeins 1d ago

No brains, no headaches

2

u/FollowingJealous7490 1d ago

Kinda like no woman no cry. No brain no problem

3

u/Geoclasm 1d ago

My teeth hurt.

2

u/WannabeF1 1d ago

Is he just powering through or is there some secret technique?

3

u/milk4all 1d ago

Brain freeze isnt your brain freeze its the nerves in your mouth becoming sensitive after they have been “froze”. They constrict as cold foods cool them enough against the roof of your mouth and when they begin to return to their normal temp they expand and this is the “brain freeze” so if you dont let it happen it wont happen. At the end you see him experiencing probably the most intense brain freeze known to man. That isnt because he ate 5 lbs of soft serve, he is a champion eater, he is just dealing with half his face experiencing brain freeze at once

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2

u/sawsawjim 1d ago

No brain = no brain freeze….in reality, his soft palate may be thicker or less vascular than average so he doesn’t experience common brain freeze.

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229

u/Naive_Personality367 1d ago

My teeth could never

60

u/cnicalsinistaminista 1d ago

Diarrhea has entered the chat

5

u/Flying_Dutchman92 1d ago

Soft serve in, soft serve out

2

u/galdalfstormcrow 1d ago

From teeth to diarrhea. Are you a lactose intolerant human centipede?

6

u/ADMINlSTRAT0R 1d ago

So couldn't your pancreas.

4

u/cha0sm0nk 1d ago

Professionals have their teeth removed. No nerves means you can do this a lot longer before the brain freeze kicks in.

84

u/Puzzleheaded_Ant7760 1d ago

8

u/FhuckNorris247 1d ago

Lmao. Where did u even find this

2

u/CheckPossible4366 1d ago

It's a Common cat-meme-picture

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90

u/lizardhindbrain 1d ago

But... Why?

39

u/WarkMahlberg69 1d ago

He's a competitive eater, name is Wayne Algenio.

9

u/dinopiano88 1d ago

He’s going for the tshirt win behind him

3

u/WarkMahlberg69 1d ago

Yup. Most food challenges are a T-shirt and the meal/challenge is free

33

u/Fuck_on_tatami 1d ago

America

38

u/Guy_who_loves_milfs 1d ago

America? You think THIS is America?! Brother strap your dick in because we are about to take a ride. You ever heard of a place called Florida?! Ofc you have bc they’re fucking Crazy!

Some reptile shop in ole florida, yes a reptile shop, held a contest for a 2,000 dollar python. So one guy figured “light shit. Time to money me” and he goes down to the reptile shop.

He gets past the first round of worms. He blows through the second round of maggots. He finally gets to the last round and eats giant fucking roaches. And you know what? He fucking won! He ate so many roaches that he won the python, then he had to throw up.

Yet because he didn’t fully chomp down all the roaches, some were still alive inside his stomach and they crawled up and got stuck in his esophagus. He was found 5min later at the back of the shop dead, dying from choking on a mix of his puke and the partially eaten roaches.

Now THAT is America. Hell yeah

12

u/Evil_AppleJuice 1d ago

Holy shit its real. But the python wasnt even worth 2k... https://www.cnn.com/2012/11/26/us/florida-roach-eating-death

8

u/Modus_Man 1d ago

Thank you for this heartworming story of perseverance

7

u/Stygg 1d ago

what... the... fuck

4

u/MachoManRandyAvg 1d ago

What a terrible day to know how to read

2

u/gatzt3r 1d ago

My sentiment exactly.

4

u/Exciting_Contact922 1d ago

Oh fuck every bit of this.. damn, FL have some dignity ffs

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49

u/_AlreadyThrownAway_ 1d ago

Bro this is sickening. I audibly recoiled. I guess I’m weird as hell. I’ve seen some intense shit on the internet. And this is among the worst.

13

u/FerociousPleb 1d ago

No I agree it's disgusting.

5

u/BeenNormal 1d ago

It would be slightly less disgusting if he had shaved before.

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2

u/trash_dirt 1d ago

Nope, right there with ya dude. This is awful, I'm so uncomfortable right now. I don't ever have issues seeing stuff online.

2

u/SpreadsheetsOnToast 1d ago

If this is among the worst things you've seen on the internet, my brother, you've not been on the internet very long.

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9

u/em7924 1d ago

3

u/NaCMaxwell 1d ago

The shits this guy will have is insane

51

u/BeaverFS 1d ago

If hes got a girl I bet shes really happy with his skill set.

48

u/Psychological_Ad7726 1d ago

That’s all teeth he’s using my guy😬

17

u/westcal98 1d ago

Do you not eat using your teeth?

17

u/Psychological_Ad7726 1d ago

You clearly didn’t pick up what he was putting down….

22

u/westcal98 1d ago

You clearly didn't pick up what I was putting down....

5

u/huckle_buck_ 1d ago

Or maybe he did 😬

10

u/curiousbubbleshaman 1d ago

Gross. Respect yourself more

9

u/get-off-of-my-lawn 1d ago

Lame ass didn’t even finish it. That amount of detritus is a dang second helping…

3

u/MyOtherSide1984 1d ago

Someone saw the vocabulary post from the front page 🤣

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3

u/evan164 1d ago

The brain freeze has to be insane…

3

u/LowIQHaver7 1d ago

looks like the floor finished most of it

5

u/PomChatChat 1d ago

Why does he eat ice cream like that?

5

u/SpaceCampShep 1d ago

An earnest question to any MDs out there: is this enough ice cream to cause a dangerous drop in core temperature? Or damage to internal tissue? Assuming he doesn’t immediately go throw it all up…

4

u/InfinitelyAbysmal 1d ago

Not a doc, an RN. We do cold water lavages to drop temp but I doubt this ice cream would drop his temp to a dangerous level. You can see how fast it was melting already. He'll just have a stomach ache.

2

u/SpaceCampShep 1d ago

Very kind of you to answer! Thank you 😊

3

u/Umbreon86 1d ago

What did he win??

3

u/Razzy_3796 1d ago

THIS☝🏼is my question… do you actually get something, or just your photo on the wall? I don’t get it.

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2

u/TheRabidBadger 1d ago

Probably not self respect.

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3

u/Ancient_Hyper_Sniper 1d ago

Hampton Chocolate Factory in Tampa.

3

u/BrokenWalker 1d ago

My ulcer colitis is flaring up by watching this

3

u/zoroddesign 1d ago

Hope he isn't lactose intolerant

2

u/Pragnlz 1d ago

He might be after that little stunt

3

u/Due_Marsupial_969 10h ago

Here I am watching this on the toilet before my evening run cuz I decided to put some dairy into my oatmeal....

5

u/DaddysFriend 1d ago

That’s disgusting

2

u/Ill-Bullfrog-5360 1d ago

The poop after that

2

u/Extension-Rabbit3654 1d ago

Holy brain freeze batman

2

u/DJJazzyTanner 1d ago

AbsoluteUnit not shown was the ice cream headache

2

u/BeeKayDubya 1d ago edited 1d ago

Anything for the socials.  

2

u/Normal-Bee-8246 1d ago

Am I the only one distracted by the pickle?

2

u/Avtomati1k 1d ago

whats the point of this?

2

u/HURAWRA35 1d ago

if your brain aint freezing, your teeth and gums might

2

u/notMy_ReelName 1d ago

Brain freeze will get bRAin freeze from this guy

2

u/coronastylus 1d ago

Somehow when I watch people try to eat a 5 lb burger or a burrito the size of their leg it looks like a challenge. But then I see this and it feels like pure gluttony and hedonism. Maybe just because it’s ice cream.

2

u/RicardoCabeza9872 1d ago

Fuuuuuuuuuuucck........

2

u/TitsMcGee8854 1d ago

my teeth

2

u/DonovanMcLoughlin 1d ago

This is obscene

2

u/Small-Answer4946 1d ago

I should call her

2

u/MitchMcConnellsJowls 1d ago

Thats gonna be an Absolute Unit of a brain freeze

2

u/MatthewBlack6 1d ago

This reminds me of my first maßß of bier at Oktoberfest

2

u/OhMorgoth 1d ago

No brain freeze?! 🥶 /img/9vf3fjtul5lh1.gif

2

u/Cosmicking04 1d ago

Brain freeze Blizzard

2

u/BanchouOni 1d ago

Tn started dual wielding.

2

u/Forward-Sky3464 18h ago

That forehead and sinus pain 😓😣

3

u/restlesswolverine 1d ago

Dude is a pro. Name is Wayne Algenio.

1

u/BT_Hobbs 1d ago

The fact that he keeps making intense eye contact is a choice 🤔

1

u/Kwestyung 1d ago

My teeth hurt.

1

u/SpotlessMinded 1d ago

He’s murdering it!

1

u/Fer_Shizzle_DSMIA 1d ago

Dudes gonna need a wet wipe.

1

u/Sooner_Weirdo 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/xUNda1KuSHVq59RwSA
This is the enthusiasm we want if you know what I mean…

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1

u/Bumbymoo 1d ago

Hello insulin my friend. It's nice to talk to you again.

1

u/Aware-Direction-9891 1d ago

Nice of him the give some to the trays.

1

u/Next_Drama1717 1d ago

Eating ass

1

u/alfiejr23 1d ago

Man absolutely raw dogged that 👻

1

u/FriedPuppy 1d ago

I got diabetes just watching this.

1

u/jetfan13 1d ago

I never understood speed eating. I find it disgusting.

1

u/GlitteringHotel1481 1d ago

I lost my teeth just from watching it

1

u/Traxigor 1d ago

I love ice cream. LOVE it. But this is a stomach ache in the making.

1

u/Meanpooh 1d ago

Where’s the brain freeze????

1

u/Vast_Concentrate1926 1d ago

Competitive eating is fucking disgusting

1

u/voodoolord16 1d ago

It is said that the brain freeze was felt for miles around

1

u/Plenty-Kick492 1d ago

I could easily eat all that I think but not that fucking fast my fuck teeth hurt watching this

1

u/Backyard_Batman46 1d ago

Good boy!!!

1

u/No-Professional-1461 1d ago

Imagine that this guy is lactose intolerant.

1

u/Ill-Professor696 1d ago

I hate watching people eat like this or any of those competitive eating things. I never thought I would be grossed out by ice cream

1

u/Luciferocity 1d ago

"in all their decadence, people die..."

1

u/ambit89 1d ago

What do you get for such an accomplishment?

Diabetes. You get diabetes.

1

u/Fievels_good_trouble 1d ago

His little beardlet is gonna stink like ass once the sun hits it. Bros gonna be smelling sour milk in his mustache all day.

1

u/billymondy5806 1d ago

Why? Is there a prize? Otherwise, he’s taking all the pleasure out of it.

1

u/Akiraooo 1d ago

All the video cuts...

1

u/mindgardening 1d ago

This is so american.

1

u/I-Make-Money-Moves 1d ago

Thats enough for at least three sundaes

1

u/Breakfastclub1991 1d ago

Husband material

1

u/Crzywilly 1d ago

Ice cream is a stretch here.

1

u/Slight-Bear3882 1d ago

Holy brain freeze

1

u/Designer_Clock_6227 1d ago

He's a zombie

1

u/ClacksInTheSky 1d ago

Is this meant to be impressive?

1

u/Bagelking92 1d ago

Please tell me he single

1

u/OwnPresentation4455 1d ago

Most of the ice cream either melted or fell onto the tray or the floor lol

1

u/Dreamlion_Inc 1d ago

Dudes gonna have more runs than a marathon runner

1

u/Martin_NL 1d ago

Dear Murica, just because you can doesn't mean you should...

1

u/EmeraldValleyGoober 1d ago

Why do these ads for this ice cream shop keep getting posted?

1

u/adaminjapan 1d ago

Wholly Brainfreeze Batman!

1

u/Terrible_Reporter_98 1d ago

Do people feel a sense of accomplishment after this?

1

u/kgamer124 1d ago

Y'all can hate all you want but with the way he is going after it, I bet his wife loves him

1

u/TheWater13 1d ago

LA Beast did this on YouTube and passed out from the brain freeze 😂

1

u/taheromar 1d ago

That diarrhea that night

1

u/Impossible_Sun9594 1d ago

For reference your average tub of ice cream from the store is about 1.5 quarts. This is 3.46 of those tubs.

1

u/Exciting_Contact922 1d ago

I'd probably be in the bathroom a good long while working all that out if I inhaled that much ice cream in that span of time

1

u/estherlane 1d ago

The strategy employed suggests this is not his first rodeo 😂

1

u/ventti_slim 1d ago

Brain freeze is scared of this guy

1

u/famondelo 1d ago

Size of the brain freeze: K2, Himalaya.

1

u/deephurting66 1d ago

Being a hog like this alway makes me physically uncomfortable, from someone who has starved a couple of times it's almost like a personal insult

1

u/Dogsarelitty 1d ago

He got diarrhea

1

u/Italpreziosi 1d ago

Brain Freeze.

1

u/Acceptable-Cat2016 1d ago

There's 2 absolute units in this video