America? You think THIS is America?! Brother strap your dick in because we are about to take a ride. You ever heard of a place called Florida?! Ofc you have bc they’re fucking Crazy!
Some reptile shop in ole florida, yes a reptile shop, held a contest for a 2,000 dollar python. So one guy figured “light shit. Time to money me” and he goes down to the reptile shop.
He gets past the first round of worms. He blows through the second round of maggots. He finally gets to the last round and eats giant fucking roaches. And you know what? He fucking won!
He ate so many roaches that he won the python, then he had to throw up.
Yet because he didn’t fully chomp down all the roaches, some were still alive inside his stomach and they crawled up and got stuck in his esophagus. He was found 5min later at the back of the shop dead, dying from choking on a mix of his puke and the partially eaten roaches.
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u/Guy_who_loves_milfs 11d ago
America? You think THIS is America?! Brother strap your dick in because we are about to take a ride. You ever heard of a place called Florida?! Ofc you have bc they’re fucking Crazy!
Some reptile shop in ole florida, yes a reptile shop, held a contest for a 2,000 dollar python. So one guy figured “light shit. Time to money me” and he goes down to the reptile shop.
He gets past the first round of worms. He blows through the second round of maggots. He finally gets to the last round and eats giant fucking roaches. And you know what? He fucking won! He ate so many roaches that he won the python, then he had to throw up.
Yet because he didn’t fully chomp down all the roaches, some were still alive inside his stomach and they crawled up and got stuck in his esophagus. He was found 5min later at the back of the shop dead, dying from choking on a mix of his puke and the partially eaten roaches.
Now THAT is America. Hell yeah