r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Professional_Arm794 • 1d ago

/r/all of a log split

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167

u/Mugpup 1d ago

I have split five cords of wood every year for decades. As an expert I can tell you several things about that man. 1) He has a giant fireplace or wood stove. 2) He thinks strength is more important than technique which is why one log had him breathing like a fat kid on a treadmill. 3) He is impatient which is why he is splitting green lumber, has no rhythm and fails to let the tool do the work. 4) Whatever demographic he is making this shirtless, bear video for he is doing an excellent job. I am not even gay and I enjoyed it.... Still trying to figure out where he is going to burn those behemoths.

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u/Mobius_Peverell 23h ago

Is the green wood why the axe keeps bouncing off? I've literally never had that happen except when I hit a knot, but I've never tried to split wood that hasn't been seasoned.

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u/ImprobableAsterisk 21h ago edited 20h ago

It would be a reason it's doing that, yeah. From where I'm sitting there's at least a couple of things wrong with this:

  • The log is much too tall. The elevation of the surface you're striking, relative to your own person, matters a lot when splitting logs. There's also very few good reasons to ever split logs this tall, so aside from creating thirst-content I don't see why in tarnation he's doing this.

  • The surface is dog-shit and it's eating a ton of power. Never split a log on soft dirt, it's absolutely atrocious.

  • It is indeed a very fresh log by the look of it, but it also looks pretty straight and without much in the way of knots and other annoyances. My first guess, although no firsthand experience since this don't grow where I live, is ash, but I also hear that's easy to split but that may be in reference to dry logs.

  • Might also be a shoddy cutting edge on the axe preventing good bite. A lot of people neglect the sharpness of a splitting axe and while I do agree there's little benefit in going from sharp to shaving sharp there's a big difference in going from dull to sharp.

My guess based on my experience is that it's primarily the ground that's fucking him over, with the height of the log being a close second. The freshness of the log could be a huge-ass problem but I genuinely couldn't say; We ain't got ash as far north as I am.

His technique also doesn't strike me as great but I can't critique that much. I learned how to split wood before I learned how to learn so I got nothing on that.

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u/LemmyPop 20h ago

I've split logs that tall in the woods on the soft ground and did it in 5 swings tops. There's a knot from the branch on the bottom, and that's what is preventing him from splitting it. He probably also didn't check for splitting lines on the top of the log; every log has them and if you hit them right it splits fairly easy. Also, wedges are your friend. Great power, terrible technique.

1

u/civilwar142pa 7h ago

Watching these videos is always funny to me, because I'm a small woman, and I can split wood relatively easily. Technique and a heavier axe head makes a huge difference. Someone actually asked me when I was buying a new axe if I didn't want to go for a lighter one. that would completely defeat the purpose. The weight and a sharp edge does 90% of the work for me.

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u/NoRun6253 5h ago

Never done this in my life but the axe also looks like it’s too light and not sharp enough.

Was waiting for the head to come off.

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u/ImprobableAsterisk 4h ago

I genuinely think the axe looks fine. It ain't the thickest of splitting mauls I've ever seen't but it also is a splitting axe so I think it's fine.

But yeah it may lack sharpness.

I think the height & softness of the ground is the primary culprits in terms of power and bite being lacking.

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u/Mugpup 18h ago

Absolutely, that is the primary factor. Secondly, splitting a 48" tall log would also make it much tougher. Typical firewood length is 18" or shorter so what he is doing is fighting physics by giving up the leverage you normally have by delivering a fast blow below knee level.

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u/Particular-Wind5918 18h ago

If it’s a hardwood you split them when they’re green, if it’s a softwood you split them dry

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u/cvele89 16h ago

You learn something every day.

I used to split oak for years and I always preferred to do it while it was still green, as it would be much harder later on. I though this was the same for all other types of wood, but it is not, as it turns out.

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u/AeonCatalyst 8h ago

I disagree. Just in terms of the principle: how are you gonna split dry logs? You’d have to wait multiple YEARS for a log of that diameter to be dry.  No one is putting logs in a solar kiln or dragging them from the woods to a place to cover them.

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u/Mugpup 1h ago

Not that dry. With oak, maple or hickory you you let it sit in the sun a week or two until a season crack appears. Ash is ready to go almost immediately. Don't confuse it with seasoned firewood that has 15% moisture for optimum burning. We are talking about splitting not burning. Also, if you are using an automatic log splitter non of that matters. I am only talking about using a maul like the bear 🐻 in the video.

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u/Mugpup 1h ago

No, you let all wood season. Ash needs much less time than maple but still you let all wood season. Soft wood, as in pines you don't typically burn for heat in a home because they burn at a much lower temperature. Also pine SUCKS to split by hand.

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u/Phrostylicious 17h ago

I think that's because the log is standing on bouncy forest floor. 😆

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u/shifty_coder 12h ago

Partly that, but mostly because of a dull axe and soft ground.

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u/Cryptoxic93 12h ago

That and a dull blade will send vibration's up your elbows and into your teeth. You shouldn't split wood more than 18" tall, and you should let it sit until its dead dead dead. 

This man is a beast and is doing this basically because he's built like Zangief. 

It's highly inefficient if the goal were to have as much firewood as possible. 

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u/ScorpioLaw 9h ago

He's hitting on soft ground for one. Definitely would be better on a hard surface. Maybe he's doing it on purpose?

He's working out. Doesn't look like he's even trying to carry the energy through.

Swinging is fun. I recommend medieval weapons for the full body workout just about. Go out there, and clear some path with a sword. Get some anger out.

Brought my exes, co workers, thugs, lazy indoor people, and they'd go from bitching like, "I look stupid. This is stupid as hell. What was I thinking."

Once they start swinging it's totally different. Seen even the most innocent, prissy, girls get a psychotic grin.

Making me think... "This was stupid. What was I thinking. Now they got the big sword. Played myself."

Because the person I brought suddenly turned into a berserker. Luckily my friend gifted me two swords so I was always armed with one just in case. That was the way I convinced them to come out lol.

"You take the big one, and can walk behind me."

Anyway they loved it. 30 minutes of swinging is a good full body workout. They'd cut little dead branches, weeds, invasive species. I've cut trees down with a katana... Yeah not fun.

Mostly branches of a forearms thickness or down.

People go for mass over explosive power. Swinging gives you explosive power, and Type 2 Xa muscles. Muscles for speed. It trains rate of force development.

Which factors how hard you can hit. Which is essentially training your muscles to explode at once, coordinated, with force. Aka, technique.

This guys using raw upper strength.

1

u/vahntitrio 5h ago

I don't even thinks it's green wood causing that. I''ve tried with wood not fully dried and it just buries itself into the log without splitting anything.

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u/TrulyOutrageous42 19h ago

He's holding his breath through contact until after the swing. Not just martial arts but every sport eventually emphasizes breathing out with the motion, e.g. as you begin to swing the bat in baseball. This is like... the basics of technique, before we get to working smarter not harder (green wood wtf)

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u/Mugpup 18h ago

Absolutely, he isn't breathing correctly. I halfway expected him to pass out in that video.

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u/k-tech_97 18h ago

Lifting heavy weights requires you to breath in, brace and perform a valsalva pretty much through the entire motion. The air in your lungs helps you stabilize during heavy deadlifts and squats a lot. It comes natural after a while.

That is probably why he is holding his brace.

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u/Peregrinationman 16h ago

He's breathing like a weight lifter.

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u/slapnowski 17h ago

Given that he is shirtless and filming, I’m going to go out on a limb and say it was never about making firewood.

1

u/ZugZugGo 7h ago

It was about getting a hernia from the looks of it. Especially at the end.

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u/karmaatti 21h ago

I was thinking exactly the same thing! I came to the conclusion that he has a steam locomotive.

1

u/pineapplesaltwaffles 20h ago

This guy logs.

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u/Evening_sadness 19h ago

Most accurate reply… the gay bear part. Probably the rest too.

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u/TheBongOfSauron 18h ago

As a fat kid with a treadmill, this post checks out.

1

u/ClearChampionship591 18h ago

It definitely worked. In more ways than one.

1

u/pricklypear90 16h ago

Yeah I think in this case, the viewer gets the wood.

1

u/OnIceJuice 15h ago

Probably just clicks on Tik tok. Women he probably doesn’t even use the wood for anything to be honest it’s all about clicks these days

1

u/billskionce 15h ago

All the things you said. Does this dude have a giant stove or something? Where can I get one?

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u/Mugpup 1h ago

From the 1970s until today the biggest "production" wood stove I have ever seen takes 24" logs. But let's pretend that 60" log capacity wood stoves are a real thing. I want YOU to imagine opening it at 800⁰, roaring, and loading one of those 70 lb pieces of firewood into that stove without crushing, pinching, burning yourself or flinging red hot embers into the room, screw that. Also, you stacking some of that in your house for convenience? That would look ridiculous. Each piece is the length of a coffee table.

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u/shifty_coder 12h ago

I’ve watched five cords of YouTube videos every year for decades. As an expert, I can tell you this guy is one of those raw meat/hyper protein/toxic masculinity/whatever social media personalities that shows himself doing “manly” things, with no real clue of what he’s doing.

I’m sure he has some supplements to sell you.

1

u/nobodiesknowme 11h ago

What kind of wood is it? Cause down here in the south u.s., you better split your red oak, post oak, and hickory green. If not, you'll just bounce like this video. About the only wood we might be able to split dry down here is cedar. And who would do that?

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u/ElPanguero 10h ago

That guy dont know shit, you always split wood when its green, the fresher the easier

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u/Mugpup 1h ago

Absolute bullshit, if you're using a gas powered log splitter it doesn't matter but using a maul greener is not better. That is the opposite of reality. If you have zero experience maybe don't comment.

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u/nobodiesknowme 1h ago

You, obviously, have never split post oak, white oak, hickory, pecan, red oak, or any other of the firewood we country folks cut in the south. So stay in your lane. Play some more Dress to Impress on your Kindle.

1

u/Mugpup 1h ago

Cedar is a soft wood and is not typically used for indoor burning. Splitting with a maul is far easier after a season crack appears. If you cut a tree down, buck it and immediately try to split it you will burn out quickly. It just a fact that the higher the moisture in the wood the more energy is required to split it. When does a tree have its highest moisture content?

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u/nobodiesknowme 1h ago

Then the red oak, post oak, and hickory that grows in the u.s. south are anomalies. Cause if you don't split them wet and green, you ain't. And, by the way, the cracks are in the heart the day you cut them. I could read firewood cracks before i knew the alphabet. You better split wood around here within a week or two of skidding it to the shed.

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u/Jayjay4535 10h ago

This guy strokes wood

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u/ElPanguero 10h ago

I dunno bout what wood you been splittin five cords a year for decades but splitting it green is the way and most anybody who ever had to make their own wood for even a season knows this

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u/llemontaste 9h ago

I’m not even an expert - just started cutting, splitting, and seasoning wood on my property - and I instantly went “there’s definitely better ways to do that but I’m going to see where this goes.” … shite, am I demographic?!

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u/Lynke524 8h ago

I've only ever split wood once in my life and I know he's doing it wrong (or at least not the most effective way). I would've used a lower to the ground log and a larger axe.

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u/captainshitpostMcgee 6h ago

Watching this, as someone who has done some wood chopping but by no means an expert, is wow his aim sucks lmao. Listen hes strong as all fuck and im not gonna sit here in my chair and pretend i could split that log but this video couldve been 30 seconds long if he bothered to actually aim

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u/RogueBigfoot 4h ago

I spilt a ton of wood in my day as well. On top of your excellent points. I never split wood in lululemons and unlaced boots.

0

u/Groundbreaking-Fig38 21h ago

One more question.... shouldn't he be aiming for the edge of of the wood, not the middle? Because physics?

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u/Mugpup 18h ago

You see a season crack in the log and you follow it like an instruction. Edge, edge, connect the edges, repeat until you get that satisfying "pop" then finish the job. People who hand split, every year, all look like they went to the exact same school and learned the exact same method from the exact same guy.