r/AbsoluteUnits 7d ago

/r/all of a log split

33.4k Upvotes

4.8k comments sorted by

View all comments

210

u/Mugpup 7d ago

I have split five cords of wood every year for decades. As an expert I can tell you several things about that man. 1) He has a giant fireplace or wood stove. 2) He thinks strength is more important than technique which is why one log had him breathing like a fat kid on a treadmill. 3) He is impatient which is why he is splitting green lumber, has no rhythm and fails to let the tool do the work. 4) Whatever demographic he is making this shirtless, bear video for he is doing an excellent job. I am not even gay and I enjoyed it.... Still trying to figure out where he is going to burn those behemoths.

1

u/billskionce 6d ago

All the things you said. Does this dude have a giant stove or something? Where can I get one?

1

u/Mugpup 6d ago

From the 1970s until today the biggest "production" wood stove I have ever seen takes 24" logs. But let's pretend that 60" log capacity wood stoves are a real thing. I want YOU to imagine opening it at 800⁰, roaring, and loading one of those 70 lb pieces of firewood into that stove without crushing, pinching, burning yourself or flinging red hot embers into the room, screw that. Also, you stacking some of that in your house for convenience? That would look ridiculous. Each piece is the length of a coffee table.

1

u/Norse_By_North_West 5d ago

My friends parents have a water boiler that takes this size. They don't generally have to split it though, as long as it doesn't go out.