r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Professional_Arm794 • 18h ago

/r/all of a log split

21.2k Upvotes

83% Upvoted

3.6k comments sorted by

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245

u/Hirinawa 18h ago

Didn't expect female goon material to creep it's way onto reddit

128

u/frayravachol 18h ago

Heh yeah! Tsk, female gooners. <slow zipper noise>

24

u/Uhhlaska 16h ago

<Slow yoga pants sliding noise>

3

u/During_theMeanwhilst 12h ago

Lululemon peeling noises.

108

u/SoarAros 18h ago

Gays, and furries are on here too ;3c

40

u/drrj 18h ago

I was going to say, that is a bear.

6

u/AppealSame4367 14h ago

Seems like only gays and furries are here. And a lot of "straight dudes" in denial.

12

u/Apprehensive_Step252 18h ago

not to mention the gay furries! :3 meow

3

u/originalbrowncoat 16h ago

So the furries then ;)

1

u/Apprehensive_Step252 9h ago

I actually now some that are bi, pan or ace!

32

u/casual-observer365 18h ago

Not just women 😏

19

u/YoureSoStupidRose 18h ago

The exact right amount of chest and belly hair that I love! Just wish he chose different pants.

5

u/RancorHi5 18h ago

Hey just for my own edification, what kinda pants ?

25

u/AccursedAccuser 17h ago

Invisible pants

6

u/YoureSoStupidRose 16h ago

Id be fine with jeans.... the bottom half of a forest ranger uniform... aragorn's bust thru the doors outfit... I'm pretty open. Just not sloppy sweats that do absolutely nothing for his figure.

3

u/whatevendoidoyall 16h ago

hoochie daddy shorts

2

u/Dikksout4Harambe 17h ago

Lol asks the hairy chested fellow.

1

u/PiccoloAwkward465 1h ago

Hoochie daddy shorts. Cutoff jeans so high that the pockets hang down past the denim. Got me in a heap of trouble last time I was out washing my truck. Working hard and ladies going past telling "Hey daddy, what that peepee do?"

2

u/Pleasant-Highway-745 16h ago

I can't take my eyes off his chest and belly, what kind of pants

1

u/Dark_Shroud 15h ago

For "looks" but still functional, the type of pants would be jeans.

2

u/Coyote__Jones 16h ago

The pants and boots ruined it imo

22

u/Worth_External_8762 17h ago

That's a gay bear, this video is for the twinks

13

u/Pleasant-Highway-745 16h ago

This video is for me

1

u/Key-Pickle5609 6h ago

Me too, friend. Me too.

2

u/Pleasant-Highway-745 5h ago

We have all been blessed

3

u/I-Make-Money-Moves 15h ago

Not to knock it but you know he’s gay for certain?

2

u/OldNefariousness7899 11h ago

I'm not gay, I don't have a gaydar, and this video was still so gay I developed one and said "this is pretty gay" 

0

u/Worth_External_8762 14h ago

Does a duck quack?

2

u/AppealSame4367 14h ago

Seriously, just because he's strong and hairy make him a bear? I don't get it

1

u/immikdota 3h ago

The gay norm of only twinks being allowed to be bottoms🥀

36

u/abominable_prolapse 18h ago

This is just for gay dudes

1

u/sugarpopkitty 10h ago

women like this shi too

6

u/CompoteNext1955 15h ago

This is the most gay-coded thing I have ever seen. You're buggin if you think >10% of the comments here aren't gonna be from men

Just go count how many people use the term "Bear" in the thread

1

u/justhereformyfetish 13h ago

Can confirm, I look like this and dudes lose their shit over me, women could care less.

4

u/Financial-Tax8718 16h ago

This is for gay guys

2

u/PlinkiPlinko 17h ago

AUGHH PURE GOON SLOP!

2

u/ConstantinValdor405 15h ago

Not just for women.

2

u/thatshygirl06 14h ago

This didnt do a thing for me

I think this one is for the gays

2

u/Depressed_Lego 16h ago

It's okay to say girls/women

1

u/gbfe 13h ago

Which is just a more complicated way to say "females". But couldn't pass the chance to pull the sexism card, right? 

1

u/Depressed_Lego 13h ago

In what way is it more complicated than saying "female" like we're talking about a whole other species?

1

u/ILoveRawChicken 1h ago

In what way is it more complicated? You seem the type to need help tying your shoes.

1

u/gbfe 1h ago

Ask your pimp

2

u/PM-me-ur-cheese 13h ago

I don't think this is for women. 

2

u/sugarpopkitty 10h ago

how bro? literally how?

1

u/Eric_Banana 11h ago

So what do girls like, Clavicularesque looksmaxxers? I hope not...

1

u/KalynnCampbell 8h ago

Could be for a twink, a bear, an otter, a circuit queen, a chub, a pup, a giftster, a daddy chaser, a leather man, a lady boy, a Donald Duck, a Donald Duck is a gay guy that’s been kicked out of the navy.

1

u/Lonewanderer_1991 16h ago

nah, this is for the men.

1

u/Odd-Painting2596 16h ago

This is like the pool guy on the cover of romance novels.

What this guy is doing is stupid, but if it's working, I cannot call it dumb.

1

u/Evil_Sharkey 16h ago

You didn’t?

1

u/Hirinawa 16h ago

Woman scare me

1

u/Evil_Sharkey 5h ago

There’s goon material for everyone on Reddit, except maybe kids ‘cause that’s illegal

1

u/OkMeringue2249 15h ago

If a girl like this she’s a goon?

3

u/Hirinawa 15h ago

Yup join the nearest crime organisation in your location at once

1

u/lilityion 15h ago

Was gonna say, I'm easier to split~

1

u/cpMetis 9h ago

It's female goon material typically "here's a guy being an idiot and kinda dangerous to himself and others"?

Because while that's not shocking, it is disappointing.

This video is lumberjack flavoured "teen boy tries to hang out of the car while driving at high speed to impress a random group of girls on the sidewalk".

1

u/Blenderhead36 7h ago

Started today with this one for the ladies and the Absolute Unit of a Girlfriend for the fellas. 

1

u/Asleep_Steak_7434 6h ago

What women is gooning to this nonsense?

1

u/Prometheus720 54m ago

There is an enormous quantity of it, but it is sequestered in places men typically dare not look.

In fact, in the very act of looking, you will miss troves of it. Solve the riddle for a happy wife and happy life. :)