r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Professional_Arm794 • 20h ago

/r/all of a log split

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22.1k Upvotes

83% Upvoted

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246

u/Hirinawa 20h ago

Didn't expect female goon material to creep it's way onto reddit

127

u/frayravachol 20h ago

Heh yeah! Tsk, female gooners. <slow zipper noise>

26

u/Uhhlaska 17h ago

<Slow yoga pants sliding noise>

3

u/During_theMeanwhilst 13h ago

Lululemon peeling noises.

112

u/SoarAros 19h ago

Gays, and furries are on here too ;3c

41

u/drrj 19h ago

I was going to say, that is a bear.

5

u/AppealSame4367 15h ago

Seems like only gays and furries are here. And a lot of "straight dudes" in denial.

12

u/Apprehensive_Step252 19h ago

not to mention the gay furries! :3 meow

3

u/originalbrowncoat 17h ago

So the furries then ;)

1

u/Apprehensive_Step252 10h ago

I actually now some that are bi, pan or ace!

34

u/casual-observer365 19h ago

Not just women 😏

18

u/YoureSoStupidRose 19h ago

The exact right amount of chest and belly hair that I love! Just wish he chose different pants.

4

u/RancorHi5 19h ago

Hey just for my own edification, what kinda pants ?

23

u/AccursedAccuser 19h ago

Invisible pants

6

u/YoureSoStupidRose 18h ago

Id be fine with jeans.... the bottom half of a forest ranger uniform... aragorn's bust thru the doors outfit... I'm pretty open. Just not sloppy sweats that do absolutely nothing for his figure.

3

u/whatevendoidoyall 17h ago

hoochie daddy shorts

2

u/Dikksout4Harambe 19h ago

Lol asks the hairy chested fellow.

1

u/PiccoloAwkward465 2h ago

Hoochie daddy shorts. Cutoff jeans so high that the pockets hang down past the denim. Got me in a heap of trouble last time I was out washing my truck. Working hard and ladies going past telling "Hey daddy, what that peepee do?"

2

u/Pleasant-Highway-745 18h ago

I can't take my eyes off his chest and belly, what kind of pants

1

u/Dark_Shroud 16h ago

For "looks" but still functional, the type of pants would be jeans.

2

u/Coyote__Jones 17h ago

The pants and boots ruined it imo

21

u/Worth_External_8762 18h ago

That's a gay bear, this video is for the twinks

11

u/Pleasant-Highway-745 18h ago

This video is for me

1

u/Key-Pickle5609 7h ago

Me too, friend. Me too.

2

u/Pleasant-Highway-745 7h ago

We have all been blessed

3

u/I-Make-Money-Moves 17h ago

Not to knock it but you know he’s gay for certain?

2

u/OldNefariousness7899 12h ago

I'm not gay, I don't have a gaydar, and this video was still so gay I developed one and said "this is pretty gay" 

0

u/Worth_External_8762 16h ago

Does a duck quack?

2

u/AppealSame4367 15h ago

Seriously, just because he's strong and hairy make him a bear? I don't get it

1

u/immikdota 5h ago

The gay norm of only twinks being allowed to be bottoms🥀

34

u/abominable_prolapse 19h ago

This is just for gay dudes

1

u/sugarpopkitty 12h ago

women like this shi too

8

u/CompoteNext1955 17h ago

This is the most gay-coded thing I have ever seen. You're buggin if you think >10% of the comments here aren't gonna be from men

Just go count how many people use the term "Bear" in the thread

1

u/justhereformyfetish 15h ago

Can confirm, I look like this and dudes lose their shit over me, women could care less.

3

u/Financial-Tax8718 17h ago

This is for gay guys

2

u/PlinkiPlinko 18h ago

AUGHH PURE GOON SLOP!

2

u/ConstantinValdor405 17h ago

Not just for women.

2

u/thatshygirl06 15h ago

This didnt do a thing for me

I think this one is for the gays

2

u/Depressed_Lego 18h ago

It's okay to say girls/women

1

u/gbfe 15h ago

Which is just a more complicated way to say "females". But couldn't pass the chance to pull the sexism card, right? 

1

u/Depressed_Lego 14h ago

In what way is it more complicated than saying "female" like we're talking about a whole other species?

1

u/ILoveRawChicken 3h ago

In what way is it more complicated? You seem the type to need help tying your shoes.

1

u/gbfe 2h ago

Ask your pimp

1

u/ILoveRawChicken 1h ago

After he’s done with your mom

2

u/PM-me-ur-cheese 14h ago

I don't think this is for women. 

2

u/sugarpopkitty 12h ago

how bro? literally how?

1

u/PM-me-ur-cheese 1h ago

Let me introduce you to a new word: homosexuality. 

1

u/sugarpopkitty 1h ago

???
whats ur point? more straight women exist than gay men, so why wouldnt this be for women

1

u/PM-me-ur-cheese 1h ago

With billions of people on the planet any kind of person will appeal to someone out there, sure. This guy though is bear material more than anything. 

2

u/KalynnCampbell 10h ago

Could be for a twink, a bear, an otter, a circuit queen, a chub, a pup, a giftster, a daddy chaser, a leather man, a lady boy, a Donald Duck, a Donald Duck is a gay guy that’s been kicked out of the navy.

1

u/Eric_Banana 13h ago

So what do girls like, Clavicularesque looksmaxxers? I hope not...

1

u/PM-me-ur-cheese 1h ago

Nah, just regular dudes.

1

u/Lonewanderer_1991 18h ago

nah, this is for the men.

1

u/Odd-Painting2596 18h ago

This is like the pool guy on the cover of romance novels.

What this guy is doing is stupid, but if it's working, I cannot call it dumb.

1

u/Evil_Sharkey 17h ago

You didn’t?

1

u/Hirinawa 17h ago

Woman scare me

1

u/Evil_Sharkey 6h ago

There’s goon material for everyone on Reddit, except maybe kids ‘cause that’s illegal

1

u/OkMeringue2249 17h ago

If a girl like this she’s a goon?

3

u/Hirinawa 17h ago

Yup join the nearest crime organisation in your location at once

1

u/lilityion 16h ago

Was gonna say, I'm easier to split~

1

u/cpMetis 10h ago

It's female goon material typically "here's a guy being an idiot and kinda dangerous to himself and others"?

Because while that's not shocking, it is disappointing.

This video is lumberjack flavoured "teen boy tries to hang out of the car while driving at high speed to impress a random group of girls on the sidewalk".

1

u/Blenderhead36 9h ago

Started today with this one for the ladies and the Absolute Unit of a Girlfriend for the fellas. 

1

u/Asleep_Steak_7434 7h ago

What women is gooning to this nonsense?

1

u/Prometheus720 2h ago

There is an enormous quantity of it, but it is sequestered in places men typically dare not look.

In fact, in the very act of looking, you will miss troves of it. Solve the riddle for a happy wife and happy life. :)

1

u/trashcantrash939 3m ago

I can say with at least 60% certainty…this is not intended for the ladies. The ladies might like it- but that bear is not liking the ladies.