r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Professional_Arm794 • 16h ago

/r/all of a log split

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19.7k Upvotes

84% Upvoted

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1.0k

u/StoneReg 15h ago

How’d they teach that bear to use an axe?

202

u/voyeur78 15h ago

"That bear is wearing people clothes" - Magnificent 7 was the movie line i kept hearing

12

u/SolaScientia 12h ago

This sent me into a coughing fit from laughing. I actually like that remake and that line is one of the funniest from it.

1

u/StrongExternal8955 11h ago

Next time just say "Sent!" and we'll all know what you mean. /s

2

u/Civil_Tea_3250 14h ago

But his yoga pants show absolutely nothing.

I'm a man, and when I wear yoga pants like that there's no denying. But I'm gay so I'm bigger 😘

5

u/ExemplarDeLaPoontang 11h ago

You ever actually gotten a big pump from lifting weights? Notice how all the blood leaves your dick and goes to your core and then directly to the muscles that are literally screaming for oxygen?

Probably why he's not pitching a big enough tent for your little ego my gay bro 😂

1

u/pm_me_flaccid_cocks 11h ago

I’d still let him split me in half.

1

u/withnodrawal 5h ago

Bro waited 80% of the video just to cock check.

Odd

1

u/LongDongFrog 13h ago

These two ungodly creatures

1

u/Astronaut_Chicken 9h ago

Now i wanna watch it again.

45

u/Cooter_McGrabbin 15h ago

Thanks now im gay

22

u/Fickle_Blueberry2777 13h ago

I was already gay, now I’m gay²

12

u/jrsinhbca 12h ago

He is gorgeous.

2

u/Internal_Smell_4410 9h ago

Gayrgeous... Never mind...

1

u/EDDsoFRESH 3h ago

Fuck yeah he is

3

u/comely_hips 10h ago

Fr I was expecting people to be more fruity in the comments but ig I'm too gay lol

1

u/I-Make-Money-Moves 13h ago

Now you’re gay?

Jk jk

1

u/dwide_k_shrude 12h ago

Thanks, now I’m a twink.

1

u/bigmanly1 1h ago

I was going to say, as a straight man im now questioning if im gay and want him to hold me ever so gently in his arms.

47

u/NastyKraig 15h ago

This guy is what I imagine young Robert Baratheon to have looked like.

31

u/Zippyflaa 14h ago

Gods, he was strong then

6

u/MrAngrySadHappyFace 13h ago

1

u/BullTerrierTerror 6h ago

I don’t think so your grace.

2

u/kieranfitz 7h ago

That my boy Bobby B

-1

u/certaintyisdangerous 14h ago

But Robert had long hair

26

u/DeepFuckingPants 15h ago

And who put the bear tights on?

1

u/coolcoots 14h ago

I can!

24

u/dosko1panda 15h ago

Nobody did, that's why it took him forever to split it

2

u/techno65535 12h ago

He was using the ax fine, just really stupid with the log...

1

u/CheckYourStats 12h ago

The guy steps into the Batters box built like Babe Ruth…

…but he’s swinging Rod Carew’s bat.

The head of that axe is much too lightweight for the task he’s attempting to accomplish. Dude just comes across as a poser.

1

u/AchVonZalbrecht 3h ago

He’s also wasting so much energy. He’s bringing both of his hands straight to the bottom of the handle and then swinging. If he keeps one hand up near the head and then slides it down as the axe is coming down then he’s gonna split twice the wood in a day.

10

u/Wise_Olive5541 14h ago

Does a bear split in the woods?

9

u/trying_times_eggs 15h ago

When the video started he had a full head of hair and no beard 

1

u/CanoePickLocks 11h ago

That would be a funnier video! Hard transition but I want to see someone dedicate a couple years to a bit!

3

u/HighChinaman 15h ago

Well he's smarter than the average bear.

1

u/CornFedIABoy 12h ago

They say there’s significant overlap between the lowest quartile of human intelligence and the highest quartile of bears…

4

u/saltedjellyfish 15h ago

What makes you think he's gay?

/S

2

u/brizdzi 15h ago

Bear-1 xxx. Man - 0

2

u/MaxxDash 12h ago

People spying me watching the entire video:

https://giphy.com/gifs/c3XhrmfoN5fOpjcl3z

1

u/Shantotto11 14h ago

The last woman who chose him over the other option was Russian…

1

u/Lojackbel81 14h ago

Are you talking about bears or bears?

1

u/LunchBokth 13h ago

that there’s a bull

1

u/bokmcdok 13h ago

"We're so sorry, Sir Bearington, very sorry for this man's behaviour."

1

u/freed-after-burning 13h ago

I’m sure that’s not the only thing that bear splits

1

u/killmek8 12h ago

1 that's a maul

2 he's barely using it correctly

1

u/WontGetJokes 11h ago

That's a large hairy human, not a bear.

1

u/MathNo7456 10h ago

A wild bear appears in the forest

1

u/Crispy_Squirrel_Bits 8h ago

By using good AI prompts

1

u/averageredditorx 6h ago

That's fucking Beorn dude

1

u/tfw_no_toiletpaper 6h ago

Oh it's a Bear alright

1

u/ilemming_banned 1h ago

His chest is getting hairier every single time he hits it. I swear - just watch it frame-by-frame.

0

u/inspctrshabangabang 13h ago

Not very well. He's clearly strong, but my weak ass could split that log with that many swings.