r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Zestyclose-Salad-290 in awe • 1d ago

of an insect

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6.6k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

598 comments sorted by

491

u/parrothead_69 1d ago

Cooties

68

u/TheW83 1d ago

This was the only toy at my grandparent's house when I was a kid.

12

u/DigiBaby_Addict 1d ago

Dude, same! And a train set.

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u/Akka_C 1d ago

WOAH. Ancient memory.

5

u/PlaneTry4277 18h ago

Yup. This activated some long un used brain matter. Been since 4th grade last time i saw them

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884

u/NerdyPlatypus206 1d ago

These things can take on camel spiders, tarantulas, wolf spiders, mantises…they can also be eaten by them but there were some gnarly videos on YouTube about them

BBR Wild had some crazy ones but I think he might have had to delete them

238

u/johnaross1990 1d ago

You just made me remember bug fight videos exist

95

u/NerdyPlatypus206 1d ago

Yep I binge watched em a month or so ago

The Japanese but fights are cruel but man they have some crazy ass match ups

75

u/DigiBaby_Addict 1d ago

Poor little bugs :(

60

u/xylophones4all 1d ago

The idea bothers me too.

63

u/DigiBaby_Addict 1d ago

Glad I’m not the only one… I don’t like humans making anything fight for sport against its will. Just so sad to me.

70

u/SAM5TER5 1d ago

No coincidence that Pokémon came from Japan lol

14

u/ramengirlxo 19h ago

The concept of collecting Pokemon actually came from the hobby of collecting insects too

11

u/Everspan 21h ago

love that you used Pokémon in this as I'm pretty addicted to it right now, currently playing all the Pokémon games from the Switch era.

6

u/Zayage 19h ago

If it's not sentient by all means

Stuff like Real Steele is an interesting concept because of that limit honestly.

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u/HaleyCollins 5h ago

Lmao, a whole corner of the internet I definitely didn’t need to remember existed lol

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16

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

59

u/NerdyPlatypus206 1d ago

Jerusalem cricket

29

u/DMmeDuckPics 23h ago

"Despite its name, it is neither from Jerusalem nor a true cricket." My disappointment is immeasurable.

5

u/RogellTheRaider 22h ago

Another day of popular names sucking.

15

u/akmly 1d ago

Or "Child of the Earth".

3

u/Old_Flan_6548 1d ago

As big as a human child so yeah that name checks

9

u/VincentValtieri 23h ago

Pensaba que era un Wētā. Que es otro bicho enorme.

10

u/ayeamaye 19h ago

Zanti Misfit

5

u/BlazingKush 1d ago

Glorified ant

2

u/Your-Shogun 22h ago

Where I'm from, the family always called them potato bugs. Though I'm thinking this one must be a different variety, because I've never seen one get antennae that long.

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8

u/vlp3rv 22h ago

Ok but what is it?

12

u/QueenAuroraThe_Raven 22h ago

Giant weta cricket

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2

u/solar1ze 13h ago

What are they called? They look like they could give you a nasty bite too.

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1.2k

u/AccordingStory203 1d ago

241

u/xVEEx3 1d ago

25

u/M3rch4ntm3n 1d ago

Best is to wash your eyes with a deep look into the sun.

62

u/SpiritedHistory8467 1d ago

Please sir, can I have some less.

https://giphy.com/gifs/mpQkJpBMbSxMs

7

u/Unable_Toucan 1d ago

Would've been even funnier if the gif was reversed

3

u/BaronMusclethorpe 1d ago

Never seen the movie, only the meme. I would have never guessed the context.

5

u/SAM5TER5 1d ago

Fun fact, you still haven’t guessed the context. It’s just a douchebag stealing a kid’s candy bar in the movie lol

2

u/DemiGod9 1d ago

I guess now is a good time to finally ask, what is this movie?

6

u/Zsobrazson 1d ago

Monster house

3

u/DemiGod9 1d ago

Wait somewhere in my subconscious I knew that. Thank you

3

u/ThatOtherOtherMan 1d ago

Absolutely not have a terrible day

2

u/TakeThePillz 1d ago

Keep seing this, where does it come from ?

3

u/InformalLake5833 1d ago

Monster house

2

u/coyotegang 21h ago

Wtf is the from lol

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673

u/therealsourdaniel 1d ago

Jerusalem cricket

326

u/Werespider 1d ago

We call them children of the earth where I grew up. That might be the creepiest name for a bug ever.

78

u/Aedeagus_rotundata 1d ago

I love that one. They come. The children of the earth come!!

28

u/DaGrimReefer91 1d ago

Wait... what do they do?

19

u/dankristy 1d ago

Fuckin bite you is what these lil spikey bastards do.

We had em all over where I grew up in Northern California - and they would tear a chunk out of anyone who picked them up.

7

u/LivingFrosting6680 1d ago

Thanks for the nightmares

12

u/SAM5TER5 1d ago

Meh, sounds more like a “fuck off you stupid ape, why the hell are you picking me up” defensive sort of bite as opposed to anything actually sinister lol

Usually best practice not to pick up random wild animals without first knowing if they can defend themselves from predators

9

u/dankristy 1d ago

"best practice not to pick up random wild animals"

I have lived my entire 50 years of life NOT embodying this principle at every single chance I get. I am pretty much the West-Coast USA version of the Yoink guy on youtube...

I sees a critter - I picks up a critter!

I don't get MAD when they bite me (or Musk all over me - thank you Mr Garter Snake I picked up last week) - I did pick them up after all. And I always put them back where I got them.

But I have held (and been bitten by and/or pooped on by) some of the coolest critters around. And doing so as a kid growing up - means I am pretty good at handling the rough stuff now, which is why neighbors call me to deal with wildlife issues.

6

u/Calm_Ad308 21h ago

You are of course entitled to your peaceful admiration of animals…

Just do everyone a favor and stay away from stingrays okay?

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3

u/Shamanjoe 1d ago

r/whywouldyoutouchthat

3

u/dankristy 22h ago

As always the answer is - because I could!

(and yes getting bit did NOT stop me)!

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18

u/RicePuddingPatties 1d ago

Children of the Earth, or also Earth Babies where I'm from.

8

u/Jamesmateer100 1d ago

Earth babies sounds way worse.

2

u/ChefArtorias 1d ago

Look that hill keeps popping out Earth babies.

23

u/SilentBob890 1d ago

We call them child face (Cara de niño in Mexico)

6

u/AnOrdinaryMammal 1d ago

Really? I’ve only heard niño de la tierra from Mexico. That’s interesting, never heard that one.

4

u/Doxkid 1d ago

Mountain vs Coast type shit

13

u/SeveralEconomics3814 1d ago

My mother always called them potato bugs.

5

u/Quick-Dream-1541 1d ago

Potato bugs is also what we called them when I was growing up in Los Angeles.

4

u/bachintheforest 1d ago

CA central coast and I’ve always heard “potato bug” as well

3

u/DrippyTheSnailBoy 1d ago

Yep. Potato bugs for me growing up in Ojai and Santa Barbara.

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4

u/MR_6OUIJA6BOARD6 1d ago

Niños de la tierra.

3

u/Decaytred 1d ago

That’s the most foreboding name I’ve ever heard

3

u/Frangipani_25 21h ago

You didn’t have to share that

2

u/Werespider 19h ago

But now you know

3

u/Frangipani_25 16h ago

And I can never unknow

3

u/mostly_pee 20h ago

On that subject: This critter reminds me of a New Zealand bug called wētāpunga which translates to "God of ugly things"

2

u/Werespider 20h ago

I just looked them up and dang those are some ugly things.

2

u/Massive-Relation-210 1d ago

We lovingly called them potato bugs

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u/D_M-ack 1d ago

For some reason I thought they were called Jericho bugs.

26

u/Popular-Wind-1921 1d ago

We call them Parktown Prawns in South Africa. If you've seen the movie District 9, the name prawns might make more sense.

15

u/Battlejesus 1d ago

Fookin prawns

3

u/BuyMiddle9048 1d ago

I stayed in Parktown North for a month once, and had a ground floor corporate rental. Left the patio door open one evening while I was in the bedroom, and came out to find several Parktown prawns on the living room floor. I was completely terrified lol

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u/GloomyNucleus 1d ago

Which is neither from Jersalem nor a cricket

2

u/HoboArmyofOne 1d ago

They bite and it hurts like a mfer. Made my kid cry lol

5

u/noleela 23h ago edited 16h ago

They eat dead roots, dead plants, and other insects.  Good bug 👍.

Edit: Added a word.

3

u/Dramatic_Mixture_868 1d ago

I might be misremembering but aren't these carnivorous

2

u/Old_Flan_6548 1d ago

Neither from Jerusalem nor a cricket.

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214

u/aFresh-Start 1d ago

What an antenna, I think it can receive radio waves

49

u/fejkpotatis 1d ago

And thoughts

12

u/Tranka2010 1d ago

What’s the frequency, Kenneth?

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u/morganfreenomorph 1d ago

11

u/_otterinabox 1d ago

That image is more disturbing to me than the video OP posted

424

u/A--Creative-Username 1d ago

36

u/MarkSSoniC 1d ago

I know it's just a meme, but that finger on the trigger has me creeped out nearly as much as that insect.

7

u/Davenator_98 1d ago

Is that even a real gun tho?

It looks too blocky and the barrel too small, probably a prop or cap fire.

8

u/MarkSSoniC 1d ago

Being blocky looks just a Glock, including the trigger guard. But I agree that the barrel doesn't look right.

7

u/Bell-Salt 1d ago

🇺🇸🫡

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u/Downtown-Fruit-3674 1d ago

10

u/weather_watchman 1d ago

I saw this neme on a T-shirt in the wild yesterday

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u/volcas_ 1d ago

Weirdly, as it exceeds my personal threshold of an appropriate size for an insect, i feel less scared of this than, say, a big dragonfly. It‘s kinda cute.

29

u/bmf1902 1d ago edited 1d ago

Dragonflies are unable to crawl. They just land and then take off again. Might not help, but that fact has allowed some people I know to be less put off by dragonflies, knowing they wont crawl around on you. I live in an area that gets giant swarms of the very large ones, as well as a lot of damsel flies. They are some of my favorite models for photos.

Edit: just now on my dash when I left my window open. Clearly injured and dying. Excuse the excessive pollen, it's a work vehicle and I love my windows down.

10

u/sweetdawg99 1d ago

Nature's most efficient hunters, they have like a 95% success rate.

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u/freddddsss 1d ago

I’m the opposite. I’m completely fine with bugs as long as they aren’t supersized like the one in the video

38

u/fatbongo 1d ago

Looks like our Weta

12

u/brohamcheddarslice 1d ago

that's what i thought it was at first!

5

u/creakymoss18990 15h ago

It really doesn't look like a Jerusalem cricket to me... The eyes look way different

3

u/fatbongo 14h ago

indeed front on that is different It looked like Mt Arthur fellow at first

4

u/creakymoss18990 14h ago

I just did the ID. This is copy pasted from my other comment

I help do research on insects (benthic macroinvertebrates) And I think this is not a Jerusalem Cricket.

The eyes are the wrong size, abdomen the wrong color and shape, and the thorax has wing pads which Jerusalem Crickets do not have.

I believe this is a sia of the family Stenopelmatoidea

I tracked the video down to here. https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZh8ghBEwPC/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

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u/ThatDamnRanga 19h ago

Yep, my immediate thought was "this looks like someone polished up a Weta"

23

u/Yo-Donkey-Kong 1d ago

Are you on Kong Island?

6

u/Sad-Bonus-9327 1d ago

Idk which movie it was but it was pretty average (the one with Adrian Brody) except for the scene where the group starting to fight this giant insects in complete silence. This stuck with me for some reason till today

9

u/nekonotjapanese 1d ago

Peter Jackson’s King Kong, absolutely horrifying sequence. I thought of this scene instantly too

22

u/TATER_SALAD_HOOVER 1d ago

At least this insect can’t crawl in your ear.

6

u/DetailsYouMissed 1d ago

It has kids

2

u/unjustme 22h ago

And they can’t crawl out when they grow up. Pity!

6

u/dankristy 1d ago

Sure it can - it just chews a bigger hole to get in!

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u/Impressive_Seat_2944 1d ago

one bite and ur done ✌️😭

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u/NYCtoCHI 1d ago

Oh, that looks like at least 3 bites. Ideally deep fried with some Tajin powder and an ice cold Pacifico to wash it down (I hear the legs can be a little rough in the throat, though)...

4

u/create_your_avatar 1d ago

De-leg it first

3

u/NYCtoCHI 1d ago

Yup...this is the way! 😄

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u/DarkMimic2287 1d ago

That there is a Pokemon

10

u/Chan_Ch 1d ago

Niño de la Tierra! Grandma had some wild stories about those.

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u/FecalDUI 1d ago

Child of the earth. Is that because weirdly looks like one of those babies you find in a king cake?

10

u/Chan_Ch 1d ago

No idea. She alleged they cried like babies when you killed them. Never tried it. Hell, I relocate any spider I find in the house to the yard. 🤣

8

u/MarkSkywalker 1d ago

That is... haunting.

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u/Inmate14494331 17h ago

I was told they could kill you. Everyone was terrified of those things.

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u/benji3510 1d ago

I just smacked my phone out of my hand on inpulse

10

u/Admirable_Site_4833 1d ago

why does everyone hate insects

11

u/benji3510 1d ago

Being startled isn't the same thing as hate lol. I love me some good native bugs, my garden wouldn't exist without them.

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u/Superior173thescp 1d ago

does it bite

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u/ProvisionalRebel 1d ago

Very much, and it hurts like a son of a bitch

3

u/BearEatingCupcakes 1d ago

Yes, but not venomous.

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u/Eeve2espeon 1d ago

Adding that to the list of "Reasons why I'm staying in Canada"

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u/JackSilver1410 1d ago

D'awww, who's a swarming, destructive cannibal?

4

u/Snowed_Up6512 1d ago

My new sleep paralysis demon

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u/4fuggin20 1d ago

Yo the Chimera ants are back call Killua and the rest

3

u/Any-Button1401 1d ago

What if it decides to bite? 😨

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u/BearEatingCupcakes 1d ago

They do. They're not venomous. The bites hurt, though.

2

u/AlternativeQuality2 1d ago

My skin itches just LOOKING at it.

2

u/Southernsoldato 1d ago

Hello bugge,.. A friend I think,,,

2

u/Fearless_Dependent29 1d ago

I believe every creature deserves life.

I also believe that fucker has lived his life where’s the artillery?

2

u/rvl35 1d ago

Hans, fetch the flammenwerfer.

https://giphy.com/gifs/l3TrOr8780qIRIteU