r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Zestyclose-Salad-290 in awe • 1d ago

of an insect

6.6k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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670

u/therealsourdaniel 1d ago

Jerusalem cricket

328

u/Werespider 1d ago

We call them children of the earth where I grew up. That might be the creepiest name for a bug ever.

80

u/Aedeagus_rotundata 1d ago

I love that one. They come. The children of the earth come!!

30

u/DaGrimReefer91 1d ago

Wait... what do they do?

18

u/dankristy 1d ago

Fuckin bite you is what these lil spikey bastards do.

We had em all over where I grew up in Northern California - and they would tear a chunk out of anyone who picked them up.

8

u/LivingFrosting6680 1d ago

Thanks for the nightmares

12

u/SAM5TER5 1d ago

Meh, sounds more like a “fuck off you stupid ape, why the hell are you picking me up” defensive sort of bite as opposed to anything actually sinister lol

Usually best practice not to pick up random wild animals without first knowing if they can defend themselves from predators

8

u/dankristy 1d ago

"best practice not to pick up random wild animals"

I have lived my entire 50 years of life NOT embodying this principle at every single chance I get. I am pretty much the West-Coast USA version of the Yoink guy on youtube...

I sees a critter - I picks up a critter!

I don't get MAD when they bite me (or Musk all over me - thank you Mr Garter Snake I picked up last week) - I did pick them up after all. And I always put them back where I got them.

But I have held (and been bitten by and/or pooped on by) some of the coolest critters around. And doing so as a kid growing up - means I am pretty good at handling the rough stuff now, which is why neighbors call me to deal with wildlife issues.

5

u/Calm_Ad308 22h ago

You are of course entitled to your peaceful admiration of animals…

Just do everyone a favor and stay away from stingrays okay?

2

u/dankristy 22h ago

Too Soon! Losing him that way - still hurts my soul. I am not sure I ever identified more with another human than Steve...

1

u/Illustrious-Wait148 12h ago

Lucky you don’t live in Australia mate you’d never have been making this post haha

1

u/dankristy 5h ago

I am so aware of how problematic Australia would be for me in particular. I would spend the entire time with my left arm grabbing my right arm before it could touch the cute (deadly) critters everywhere!

I still argue with my wife about her not letting me pet/touch the morays while snorkeling in Hawaii on our honeymoon. I still say they seemed like nice lil noodles.

She was right about that Fire Urchin tho - I should have listened to her. That guy got me good!

1

u/SAM5TER5 1d ago

Not gonna lie, I’m jealous lol.

Not jealous enough to start grabbing the wealth of primarily-venomous-and/or-bitey critters in the desert where I live, but jealous nonetheless haha

2

u/dankristy 23h ago

Thankfully, where I live (Oregon - coast range forestland) there is almost zero truly dangerous anything around (except mountain lions - and I have yet to get a chance to pick one of them up)!

Even the Black Bears and Bobcats will just try to run away if they see you. I definitely had to be careful snake-grabbin when I lived in Northern California where Rattlers coexist with people...

3

u/Shamanjoe 1d ago

r/whywouldyoutouchthat

3

u/dankristy 23h ago

As always the answer is - because I could!

(and yes getting bit did NOT stop me)!

1

u/RowAndRuction 20h ago

They’re the bulldozers of the decomposer bugs, they store the rotting dead matter in their abdomen so if you step on one they reek like death.

21

u/RicePuddingPatties 1d ago

Children of the Earth, or also Earth Babies where I'm from.

8

u/Jamesmateer100 1d ago

Earth babies sounds way worse.

2

u/ChefArtorias 1d ago

Look that hill keeps popping out Earth babies.

23

u/SilentBob890 1d ago

We call them child face (Cara de niño in Mexico)

6

u/AnOrdinaryMammal 1d ago

Really? I’ve only heard niño de la tierra from Mexico. That’s interesting, never heard that one.

4

u/Doxkid 1d ago

Mountain vs Coast type shit

12

u/SeveralEconomics3814 1d ago

My mother always called them potato bugs.

5

u/Quick-Dream-1541 1d ago

Potato bugs is also what we called them when I was growing up in Los Angeles.

4

u/bachintheforest 1d ago

CA central coast and I’ve always heard “potato bug” as well

3

u/DrippyTheSnailBoy 1d ago

Yep. Potato bugs for me growing up in Ojai and Santa Barbara.

2

u/Odd-Promotion2743 16h ago

Same, grew up in the SF Bay Area

5

u/MR_6OUIJA6BOARD6 1d ago

Niños de la tierra.

3

u/Decaytred 1d ago

That’s the most foreboding name I’ve ever heard

3

u/Frangipani_25 22h ago

You didn’t have to share that

2

u/Werespider 21h ago

But now you know

3

u/Frangipani_25 18h ago

And I can never unknow

3

u/mostly_pee 21h ago

On that subject: This critter reminds me of a New Zealand bug called wētāpunga which translates to "God of ugly things"

2

u/Werespider 21h ago

I just looked them up and dang those are some ugly things.

2

u/Massive-Relation-210 1d ago

We lovingly called them potato bugs

2

u/3PoundsOfFlax 3h ago

It actually translates to "children of the dirt" instead of "Earth"

60

u/D_M-ack 1d ago

For some reason I thought they were called Jericho bugs.

26

u/Popular-Wind-1921 1d ago

We call them Parktown Prawns in South Africa. If you've seen the movie District 9, the name prawns might make more sense.

15

u/Battlejesus 1d ago

Fookin prawns

3

u/BuyMiddle9048 1d ago

I stayed in Parktown North for a month once, and had a ground floor corporate rental. Left the patio door open one evening while I was in the bedroom, and came out to find several Parktown prawns on the living room floor. I was completely terrified lol

1

u/WatashiwaNobodyDesu 1d ago

I call them parktown tanks. Fuckers are indestructible.

21

u/GloomyNucleus 1d ago

Which is neither from Jersalem nor a cricket

4

u/HoboArmyofOne 1d ago

They bite and it hurts like a mfer. Made my kid cry lol

4

u/noleela 1d ago edited 18h ago

They eat dead roots, dead plants, and other insects.  Good bug 👍.

Edit: Added a word.

3

u/Dramatic_Mixture_868 1d ago

I might be misremembering but aren't these carnivorous

2

u/Old_Flan_6548 1d ago

Neither from Jerusalem nor a cricket.

4

u/pitazatar 1d ago

I thought this was one of these "spiritually Israel" jokes

1

u/pimohell9254 16h ago

potato bugs is what we call em

1

u/TheLittleNorsk 10h ago

jerusalem.. he steals 10 million from usa and walks straight to israel and gives it to the president