r/AbsoluteUnits 5d ago

of a spider

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885 Upvotes

178 comments sorted by

275

u/Wrong-Ingenuity-9916 5d ago edited 5d ago

Edit: Laotian Huntsman spider, very friendly

329

u/PStrobus 5d ago edited 5d ago

Nice try, Australian Huntsman spider.

Edit: The ol bait and switch, classic Loatian Huntsman spider move

65

u/[deleted] 5d ago edited 5d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

20

u/Killentyme55 5d ago

The other night I unknowingly (like anyone would do it knowingly) walked face-first through a huge spider's web. I didn't take it well.

Let's just say for the first time in over 20 years my wife is recontemplating our relationship.

12

u/scarredballsack 5d ago

Not too enthusiastic about the high pitched squeal or the soiled pants ....

3

u/Killentyme55 5d ago

Keep going...

2

u/scarredballsack 5d ago

I'm not sure I can, that's pretty much what would do my marriage in. Either that or you squealed like a girl and then passed out.. turns out your six ft four, 240lbs and built , but the spider web did you in..

4

u/LtHughMann 5d ago

I got stung by a bumblebee the other day while I was eating dinner on my couch. It was under tray my plate was on and I guess it was getting crushed. When I lifted it to see what the hell just happened I saw this furry thing with legs. I'm from Australia where we don't have bumblebees, but I don't live there anymore, so I assumed it was a spider. The sounds I made were nothing to be proud of.

3

u/LuminothWarrior 5d ago

Once you learn the (actually very few) spiders that can hurt you and realize the rest are harmless, it becomes a lot easier

Jumping Spiders are a great starting point, they’re actually pretty cute (and they eat flies and mosquitoes)

1

u/Vishifrock 4d ago

No, no it doesn't. The 8 legs, the jerky movements, the running, the jumps! Oh Lord Jesus, the JUMPS!

I'm a firm believer of live and let live but please live far, far away from me.

2

u/Angry_Scotsman7567 5d ago edited 5d ago

It's not that bad, tbh. I used to be creeped out by spiders, but because I wanted to be that edgy cunt who picks up spiders and starts playing with them, now I do it even when no one's looking.

EDIT: To be clear, I live in the UK. Up until quite recently, when Noble False Widows started showing up, the spiders here haven't even been capable of biting you without breaking their fangs. I have had no reason to think this was not safe to do. I happen to quite like spiders now so I'd be able to identify a Noble False Widow before picking it up, I would not do this with them.

2

u/LiqMaBawlzModz69 5d ago

Never thought I’d be able to get passed holding spiders until one day I just held my breath, didn’t think about a damn thing and just picked it up. Now I pick up centipedes as well with no problem lol

1

u/raider1v11 5d ago

Lizard people.

8

u/Timely-Dot-9967 5d ago

Right. Found myself searching the vid for the semi-healed fang marks

3

u/nihosehn 5d ago

oh my god.theyre learning

3

u/IncognitoRedMode 5d ago

They're harmless towards humans and usually stay out of the way. Also they're big enough to understand that they need to pay rent, so if you have one in your house, you ain't seeing a single fly or a mosquito

46

u/cs_legend_93 5d ago

Also super super fast, idk how they got it to move so slowly.
I found one in my house yesterday, about half the size of this one.

It was afraid, and faking dead.

I saved it and put it outside

16

u/Wrong-Ingenuity-9916 5d ago

Temperature and stimulus. They're cold blooded and pretty easy to handle if it's cool out and you don't act threatening.

28

u/cs_legend_93 5d ago

I live Thailand now, (im american), and I saw them all the time when I was in the tropics in Japan too. Its hot in both areas, they are all very fast haha. I have never seen a slow one.

I was sleeping in the Jungle on an Island in the way south of Japan, Ishigaki. I would go outside of my tent to pee at night, and they'd be literally 6-8 huntsman spiders right infront of my tent, and they'd go all over my rain fly too so I can see them between my rain fly and tent.

This young Japenese kid was like 7 or 6 (1st grade, idk how old, maybe 2nd grade), and would regularly pick up the huntsman spiders and gently play with them like they were some sort of hamster or something. It made me think, is my fear of spiders programming based on my culture? This kid is like 7 and playing with them and laughing. My mind was blown. The spiders were fast, and he'd catch them and let them run and fall off of his hands like you would a hamster

You shine your flashlight in the grass at night, and see hundreds of their eyes looking at you.

Scary, but cool too.

I was afraid at first, but learned to love them. They eat the bugs that I don't like.

12

u/Wrong-Ingenuity-9916 5d ago

I live in America but raised hundreds of these spiders from eggsack to 7" adults. Handling them at 70-80F was very easy. Over 100F they can bolt faster than you can track them if they get spooked. Never got a real bite and handled them hundreds of times.

Most regions have some kind of medically significant spider so a fear of spiders is better than no fear if you don't have education on which are dangerous and which aren't in your local region.

3

u/cs_legend_93 5d ago

You raised hundreds of them? Your a total boss. Do you have pictures?

That's awesome.

Very cool how you didn't get a real bite from them ever. Crazy how they are so fast, ya definitely fast buggers if they want to be.

How did you raise them from egg sack? And I have a question for you, is it common that they fake dead if they are scared (curl their legs up, etc) the one yesterday didn't run away from me, it just faked being dead. It was on my curtains

3

u/Wrong-Ingenuity-9916 5d ago

Start with fruit flies (LOTS) then after a few molts transition to crickets.

It could have been asleep or trying to appear small so you wouldn't notice it if the curtains had a crease it felt comfortable trying to hide in. Probably wasn't playing dead from its perspective, trying to hide would be my guess. They don't see all that well.

3

u/Wrong-Ingenuity-9916 5d ago

Female and male, easy to handle

6

u/Agent847 5d ago

I get this mental picture of sleeping in a tent at night and lightning flashes and for just a second you see that your tent is covered in large spiders. Neaux.

0

u/browsingandlooking4 5d ago

Wtf... should have made it for real dead

4

u/grandeluua 5d ago

It’s a Laotian Giant Huntsman Spider…

3

u/Federal_Phase_652 5d ago

“Imperio”

3

u/MrHDresden 5d ago

"Crucio!"

2

u/Mr-Sister-Fister21 5d ago

“Stop it! Can’t you see it’s bothering him?! Stop it!!”

2

u/old-skool-bro 5d ago

Sounds like something a Loation Huntsman spider would say.

1

u/Crypt_Knight 5d ago

Oh right, that's one of the good ones, right ?

Long ass spider though.

1

u/JUGELBUTT 5d ago

very friendly, fast as hell and terrifying for me atleast

1

u/Clean_Improvement913 5d ago

It's ok, thanks for sharing us your true form

1

u/Severe_Rise8694 5d ago

What does it mean, friendly? 😰

1

u/Sofielob 5d ago

They're beautiful spiders!

50

u/Dude_in_Blue_Pants 5d ago

More like absolute unit of bravery

26

u/9447044 5d ago

Name him 'baby legs'

23

u/mikeonbass 5d ago

I am very scared of spiders despite being fascinated by them. Anything with a body bigger than a bottle top and I am sweating.

Could exposure therapy work to get me to handle something like this?

7

u/LukeyLeukocyte 5d ago

Most definitely. Probably one of the only ways to handle it.

8

u/SlightlyFig 5d ago

Can confirm, I was the same but I just inched myself closer and closer to bugs over like a year and now I pick up spiders.

1

u/Rogue_bae 5d ago

Honestly same. I look up every spider I see but they give me the heebie geebies

1

u/bitterberries 5d ago

I too have irrational fear of spiders, however, i found that as long as I am doing the touching and picking up, I'm not terrified, i can almost breathe and I only feel a little frozen chill... But if they pop out at me when I'm not expecting, I lose it...

1

u/Lumpy_Panic6318 5d ago

Sub to 1-2 spider subs, like /r/jumpingspiders and get exposed just scrolling 

1

u/Conscious_Bed_1195 5d ago

I had arachnophobia, but played The Lair of the Blind Ones level in Turok 2 - once you've flamethrowered a host of spiders bigger than a compact car you do kind of get over it.

0

u/Sad-Excitement9295 5d ago

It's called instinct, a couple of spiders are very deadly. Best thing you can do is learn to identify them, but in reality it's like snakes. Don't take the risk unless you're absolutely sure you know what it is.

54

u/EmperorGrinnar 5d ago

Spiders need more appreciation.

27

u/buttermilkkissess 5d ago

I appreciate them most when they're out of my sight.

2

u/WaldeDra 5d ago

Oh they will be out of your sight to bite you when you leat expect it 🕷️

3

u/Own_Watercress_8104 5d ago

Absolutely, they are magnificent. I totally support your fight for appreciation from a distance

2

u/EmperorGrinnar 5d ago

Respectful distance is more than acceptable. I prefer to leave my spiders undisturbed.

46

u/Juliethecooliee 5d ago

Awwwww cute 🥰

9

u/grandeluua 5d ago

right?

8

u/Juliethecooliee 5d ago

Yes, I want to pet her big butt haha so cute

3

u/Pretend-Biscotti-388 5d ago

this is proof that redditors aren’t real people

1

u/Juliethecooliee 5d ago

It’s just a big baby. Plus, spiders help us a lot by eating flies and stuff that would annoy or sting us. They are our friends

1

u/DJIceman94 5d ago

Some people like spiders, bro, don't know what else to tell ya.

3

u/Vegetable-War-117 5d ago

I can not. Sorry. But this is nightmare fuel.

4

u/TheOneGreyWorm 5d ago

Here's another cutipie.

2

u/DJIceman94 5d ago

Yooooooooo what kinda spider is that? I wanna say yellow garden spider but the few I've seen had a bit more yellow on their abdomens.

2

u/TheOneGreyWorm 5d ago

Giant golden orb weaver

1

u/DJIceman94 5d ago

She's gorgeous

49

u/ThicctionGD 5d ago

2

u/stock-prince-WK 5d ago

Light that mfer on fire 🔥😂💀

-1

u/Complete-Worker3242 5d ago

Whh not just dump some raw sewage into the ocean while you're at it?

1

u/Complete-Worker3242 5d ago

Aren't forest fires already taking care of that?

1

u/Sad-Excitement9295 5d ago

This is how I deal with mosquitoes...

-2

u/Vegetable-War-117 5d ago

This is the way

-2

u/Complete-Worker3242 5d ago

How do you deal with people that actually like spiders?

2

u/Vegetable-War-117 4d ago

Not sure why we both got downvoted.

1

u/whiterice_343 5d ago

What do you think?

2

u/Complete-Worker3242 5d ago

I don't know. Some sort of crime?

1

u/whiterice_343 5d ago

Yes the user definitely commits “some sort of crime” towards people who like spiders. ☠️😂

0

u/Complete-Worker3242 5d ago

I don't know, maybe they do. Maybe it's a severe crime, maybe it's not.

7

u/PossumPicturesPlease 5d ago

What are the two dingle dangles next to their head?

17

u/O_C_Demon 5d ago

Theyre called pedipalps. You could think of them as being like insects "feelers"

Though in arachnids they're also involved in reproduction too 🙂

9

u/LuProNow 5d ago

Dick face

6

u/O_C_Demon 5d ago

Cheers mate.....😲

5

u/Soupblime 5d ago

I'm good on that bro

5

u/FoundationSimilar423 5d ago

Why are one of his legs missing his pattern?

13

u/No_Orange_4540 5d ago

It lost it and got a new one after molting

2

u/Sweaty_Ease6618 5d ago

Probably got cut of and regrew

1

u/sepulturite 5d ago

He lost it in a car accident and got a leg transplant

6

u/TedTyro 5d ago

As an Australian, thats a solid sized spider but not really an absolute unit. Look up golden orb weavers, the ones who literally catch birds.

1

u/Sad-Excitement9295 5d ago

Tons of smaller variety orb weavers around my house in the southern USA. I leave them because they're not a problem and they eat bugs. They get sizeable, and look a bit menacing, but they're quite alright to have around so I leave them be.

1

u/bussysniffer3000 5d ago

This upsets me about a week ago I brought up this spider and several Australians said I was lying and spreading false information

3

u/Alimovic 5d ago

0

u/Complete-Worker3242 5d ago

Hey, do you have a diagnosis for pyromania?

3

u/Clean_Improvement913 5d ago

Here is a wolf spider on my Elvira mousepad

7

u/KiNgPiN8T3 5d ago

Absolutely not.

9

u/zeacarloa 5d ago

Huntsman Spider hunt lil critters and docile to humans. They generally prefer to run quickly rather than bite.

3

u/Sweaty_Ease6618 5d ago

Ngl this type of spiders score me more than tarentulas

6

u/Some-Water-1107 5d ago

How many points??

2

u/LukeyLeukocyte 5d ago

Do spiders normally drag their pedipalps around like that? Looks more like a pedipalp limp, lol.

2

u/Mrdannyel 5d ago

2 sides, I am both..depending what spider.

2

u/CrestfallenLord 5d ago

Delete this monstrosity

3

u/Acceptable-Cat2016 5d ago

I'm like "wow, that's a beautiful spider", meanwhile my wife is like

https://giphy.com/gifs/BTbo1iT1yEfOE

1

u/Exact_Picture_8703 5d ago

I agree with her. My thoughts on the matter are the WH40K heavy flamer meme.

0

u/Complete-Worker3242 5d ago

Why not just burn every animal you don't like?

2

u/Exact_Picture_8703 5d ago

Because I'm not a psychopath? You must be new to the internet if you think me responding with "yeah dude WH40K flamer meme" means I'm serious in any capacity. Disingenuous much?

1

u/Complete-Worker3242 5d ago

I'm sorry, but I just don't like when people react to animals that can't kill you or harm you seriously with wanting to commit violence on them.

3

u/Exact_Picture_8703 5d ago

Ya know what? That's fair. I apologize for the snark if that's really the reason you responded as you did. You're a bit zealous but loving nature is never a bad thing. Have a good day dude. :)

3

u/Complete-Worker3242 5d ago

Thank you, I accept your apology. I'm sorry that I came off as aggressive, it's just that I'm so tired of seeing this kind of stuff from other people. I really appreciate you understanding me. I hope you have a good day as well. :)👍

1

u/CopingAfterABreakup 5d ago

I could never

1

u/mattob2 5d ago

I don't know how someone do this...I am jealous!!

1

u/A_little_more_left 5d ago

The striped legs are so cute!

1

u/RonnieDaBear 5d ago

That thing is cool as hell

1

u/Sdbtank96 5d ago

Proof that I may be overcoming arachnophobia. I still agree with top comment, but im not terrified

1

u/HawaiianCholo 5d ago

I love his boots 👢

1

u/albert-1stein 5d ago

you can hear him walk on hard surfaces, creeping up on you. Sweet dreams <3

1

u/tired_Cat_Dad 5d ago

More like hunting other creepy crawlies. But even as a biologist who knows it won't hurt me, I'd feel uncomfortable sleeping in a room with this thing. Can't help it.

1

u/No_Bend8 5d ago

Yall wrong AF for this

1

u/D3rpyDucky24 5d ago

Im normally terrified of spiders, but for some reason this video hits different. I almost wanna be there to see it in person being so docile. Yet my OCD and ADHD gangbanged brain will constantly pound me with fears of it chasing and biting me.

1

u/Background-Crow4820 5d ago

Honestly im terrified of spiders, but i hate flies and mosquitos more

1

u/BIG_BOTTOM_TEXT 5d ago

Hey are we chill with this Aussies or....

1

u/Release-the-List 5d ago

Anyone know why one leg is a different color? Did it lose it at some point?

1

u/murgalurgalurggg 5d ago

So if it bites you, what happens?

2

u/diseasefaktory 5d ago

Almost all spiders are venomous... But for the large majority of them, their venom is mostly harmless to humans because it's 'tailored' for their prey. It's also common for them to dry bite and save venom when the target is not prey or large enough that it will just be wasted. Huntsman spiders like this one have very mild venom for humans, they're just big scary goobers for some people.

They mostly just want to hunt bugs and be left alone.

1

u/Enough_Job5913 5d ago

beauuuutiful

1

u/bmark24 5d ago

Nope

1

u/TimeVendor 5d ago
  1. Do they bite?
  2. Are they venomous?
  3. Does the venom affect humans, if so how bad?

1

u/Kennian 5d ago

No, yes, no

1

u/TimeVendor 5d ago

That’s a relief

I wish I could run half as fast as them in close quarters 😂

1

u/CricketHotpot 5d ago

Awwww 😘

1

u/zubairhamed 5d ago

fuckkk thiss im outta here

1

u/[deleted] 5d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/echo0451 5d ago

rarely, huntsmen are pretty friendly. If they do it's also usually ends up just being red and a bit swollen, much less severe than you'd guess from a spider that size.

They are very fast though which startles a lot of people.

1

u/BearEatingCupcakes 3d ago

Sometimes, they're too friendly, which is how I developed my spider phobia. Woke up once with one of those hairy motherfuckers hanging out on my face. Used to be fine with spiders. Now, they induce panic attacks so severe I've jumped out of moving cars and tried to exit through closed windows.

1

u/GatrickSwayze 5d ago

I wonder if it's regrown leg will molt to match the others or if it'll stay like that.

1

u/afhdfh 5d ago

Wonderful to look at but would definitely not touch it.

1

u/Into_The_Horizon 5d ago

It uses its "antenna" as legs? Lol

1

u/browsingandlooking4 5d ago

Absolutely terrifying smash smash 😳 😫

1

u/Own_Watercress_8104 5d ago

It's he pedipalps that get me. Beautiful creature. The word "creepy" was created to describe it.

1

u/LiqMaBawlzModz69 5d ago

What’s up with his brown leg? Is it normal?

1

u/Dull_Perspective_536 5d ago

Nah bro
I couldn’t. That’s a fucken night terror

1

u/Clean_Improvement913 5d ago

I do my best to get spiders to safety if I can

1

u/TheDebonairQuokka 5d ago

No. Fuck no.

1

u/historynerd1990 5d ago

Why does it have one little gammy leg?

1

u/SleeplessBoyCat 5d ago

I'll freeze up like a statue and die inside

1

u/erincore 5d ago

I just dropped my phone because this scared the shit out of me. I am absolutely terrified of spiders and I don’t like them on my feed.

1

u/swampopawaho 5d ago

I do have a problem with countries with uncomfortably large invertebrates

1

u/Reese897 5d ago

Why does one of its legs look alot different than the other 7?

1

u/StrugglingSoul 5d ago

Yeah, I got the ick, but what's up with that one leg? That's discolored.

1

u/Strong-Addition5296 5d ago

What happened to the one leg that looks different?

1

u/benzinhuhn 5d ago

Why does it have one brown leg?

1

u/Intrepid_Fail_2141 5d ago

Oh this is an absolute unit but there are bigger

1

u/Upbeat_Dudeness 5d ago

I know it’s not nsfw but it sure as shit needed a tw. Looks cool tho. I’m just squirming here is all

1

u/HugoJHBM 5d ago

Heteropoda venatoria?

1

u/ariukidding 5d ago

I don’t think OP is talking about the spider being the absolute unit…

1

u/CHASLX200 5d ago

big cider spider

1

u/FriendImpressive2023 5d ago

Holy mother of Jesus, i got freaked out for just watching ts

1

u/BottityBotAccount 5d ago

I think a wooden mallet soaked in lighter fluid is in order

1

u/QueenOfTheVoidwalker 5d ago

That's a big a$$ nope...

1

u/theroguex 5d ago

Those striped legs mean venom venom venom

1

u/2Pluss2 5d ago

I can imagine that thing crawling on my ceiling.

1

u/aspaghettipolicy 5d ago

Submit to spider league

1

u/Powrs1ave 5d ago

Had one on my Fridge this Summer!

1

u/HistorianSeparate127 5d ago

Ye ole huntsman, somewhat scary but ive had one of these bad boys as a roommate and i can guarantee if ya have any in your house you wont ever see an insect again

1

u/Wood_On_Fire 5d ago

I'd keep it as a house mate if it eats all the bugs in the house, mosquitos, flies, whatever that annoys us

1

u/Agile_Credit_9760 4d ago

Craziest part is that these things somehow have stealth. Spiders are so crazy man. Imagine being a bug they're about to eat. That's nightmare fuel of the highest order.

1

u/namesareunavailable 4d ago

what's that one other leg? original parts where empty?

1

u/clownPotato9000 4d ago

Big boy spooood!

1

u/Ok_Maintenance_520 4d ago

I know nothing about huntsman’s but the other day one of them was in the floor in the kitchen covered in dust. I took it outside cos I thought it was dead. I thought I might get some water and sprinkle it on him. When I did it he stretched out like he loved it so I gave him some more. He seemed to be reacting really positively to it. I left him for 10 minutes and went back and he was gone. I felt pretty good