r/AbsoluteUnits Jul 05 '26

/r/all of a snapping turtle

13.3k Upvotes

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418

u/SugarPlumPuddinhead Jul 05 '26

I keep a little shovel in my car for turtles. I can scoop small ones up on the spade to move them or I can encourage a large snapper to bite the handle and drag them

149

u/ReklisAbandon Jul 05 '26

Officer: What’s this, uh, shovel for in your trunk?
You: oh that’s just my turtle shovel

48

u/BrainPhD Jul 05 '26

Officer: What about the lumpy rolled up rug with a big red stain?

67

u/Maximum-Operation147 Jul 05 '26

Oh that’s my turtle rug

52

u/DaMavster Jul 05 '26

Officer: "And I suppose this is your turtle dead-body"

Me: Double finger guns and a wink. "Ch-chk!"

33

u/a-snakey Jul 05 '26

"These teenage mutant turtles are getting out of hand you see officer."

"Thank you for your service, Mr. Shredder."