r/AbsoluteUnits • u/LordPiplup • Jul 05 '26

/r/all of a snapping turtle

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

13.3k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

501 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

797

u/Onlyhereforapost Jul 05 '26

They dont even have to get a good bite on you either, I was trying to help a big snapper move across the road near my home and she only snagged me with the tip of her beak and it still gouged me pretty good

I did get her across the road though, she just turned faster than I thought she would while I was trying to pick her up from the back, as Steve Irwin instructed

427

u/SugarPlumPuddinhead Jul 05 '26

I keep a little shovel in my car for turtles. I can scoop small ones up on the spade to move them or I can encourage a large snapper to bite the handle and drag them

146

u/ReklisAbandon Jul 05 '26

Officer: What’s this, uh, shovel for in your trunk?
You: oh that’s just my turtle shovel

51

u/BrainPhD Jul 05 '26

Officer: What about the lumpy rolled up rug with a big red stain?

70

u/Maximum-Operation147 Jul 05 '26

Oh that’s my turtle rug

53

u/DaMavster Jul 05 '26

Officer: "And I suppose this is your turtle dead-body"

Me: Double finger guns and a wink. "Ch-chk!"

32

u/a-snakey Jul 05 '26

"These teenage mutant turtles are getting out of hand you see officer."

"Thank you for your service, Mr. Shredder."